Noah couldn’t take his eyes off the cash. It did indeed look like easy money. Yes, it was a pyramid scheme, but maybe if he was quick, got in and out before the whole thing collapsed … and even if it did, Noah would just be one of reps at the bottom. They were never the ones who got done for fraud – it was always the top dogs, the ones who set it up. Worst case, he’d waste a bit of time. Best case – he’d make some cash to help pay for Gran to get better at Kingfisher Meadows.
She’d do anything for him. He should do the same for her. For people you love, whatever it takes. He had to do this. He at least had to try.
Josh and the man did some sort of complicated handshake affair, and Josh turned, bouncing down the drive and out on to the pavement, counting his cash. “Duuuude!” he said, seeing Noah.
“Hello. Dude,” Noah replied.
“How’s it hanging?”
Noah shrugged. “OK, I suppose, just normal. How’s yours hanging? I mean, it?”
Josh laughed and slapped him on the back. “Funny, man. Listen, I would love to stay and chat, but I got so much more money to make tonight. This shit is selling like lemonade on a drrrrrrry, hot day.”
“Uh-huh?”
Josh riffled through a wad of tens that he pulled from his pocket. “Two hundred. Just from the last hour and a half.”
Noah’s eyes lit up and he gave Josh a playful little punch on his big, muscular arm. “You’re so minted you could be herbal tea!”
Josh stared at him.
“Like, a peppermint tea,” Noah explained. “Or an indigestion tablet?” Noah suggested, “That’s another … minty thing. Erm. An After Eight?”
Josh looked him up and down. “What do you want, little dude?”
Noah blew a breath out. Eating humble pie did not come easily to him. “Nothing much,” Noah said. “Just out and about doing some thinking, man…”
“Uh-huh?”
“Yeah, just alone with my thoughts … thinking about you actually… oh! Not in a pervy way,” Noah clarified, “just about your pyramid scheme—”
“Multilevel marketing company.”
“Yeah, sounds interesting.” Noah nodded.
Josh looked at him. “You want a piece of this, bud?”
“A piece of … piece of what, Josh?”
Josh stepped close to him. “We both know what I’m talkin’ ’bout. We both know the deal here. You ain’t stupid, Noah. You know a good thing when you see it. You know you could have all this. The cash. The dreams. Hell, the celeb lifestyle. Business keeps on like this, I’ll be living the high life in LA this time next year. Mansion with a pool. Pretty girls. Whatever I like.”
Noah nodded, mesmerized by all the words and images. “Sounds … nice?”
“So,” Josh said, riffling the notes under Noah’s nose again so he could sniff the money, “you in?”
Noah swallowed and stared at the cash. “I’m in.”
CHAPTER
THIRTEEN
Noah struggled along the street with the ridiculously heavy and cumbersome box that Josh had given him. A bead of sweat had formed on his forehead and he had chafed his wrist from the rough cardboard. He was pretty sure a blister was forming on his toe. Who would have thought that running your own business would be such hard work?
For Gran, he kept telling himself. Anything for Gran.
“Oh no,” he muttered, as Harry and Pierre came around the corner and made a beeline for him.
“What’s in the box?” Harry said.
“Just stuff.” Noah shrugged. “How are you? I’m fine.”
“Big box,” said Pierre.
“Yes. It is a big box. I’m transporting some big stuff,” Noah said.
“Is it my birthday present?” Harry asked.
“Your birthday’s not until October.”
Harry nodded. “I was joking. That’s cool. You’ve got a big, secret box.”
“It’s not a secret box!” Noah insisted. “It’s just stuff.”
Harry crossed his arms. “We’re off to the cinema. Coming?”
“What, now? This evening?” Noah looked sharply between Harry and Pierre. How could they arrange something like this with such short notice? Was Noah supposed to just drop everything and go along? Why hadn’t there been adequate warning? If he’d had warning, he might have been able to get some cash together.
“Maybe get a pizza first?” Pierre said.
“This is all very last minute!” Noah protested.
“Got plans with your big, secret box?” Harry grinned.
“No. Maybe,” Noah replied. He sort of did have plans with the box. He wanted to make a start shifting some of the protein powder. “It’s only…”
“It’s fine if you’re busy,” Harry said.
“We see the film without you,” Pierre added.
Oh yes, Pierre would bloody love that, wouldn’t he? Bloody love being all alone with Harry in a darkened, romantic cinema, sharing a bucket of popcorn and a vat of Coke, holding one another’s hands in the scary bits, getting seats on the back row, because that’s where people sit for extracurricular cinema fun.
“Eva’s in the park, in case you were wondering,” Harry said.
Shit. Eva. He’d forgotten about her. But that was mainly her fault, in fairness. She was proving to be a crap exchange student: sullen, moody and completely unforthcoming with interesting titbits about her culture. “Great, I’ll check she’s OK,” Noah said.
“Cool,” Harry said. “Well, Mum’s taking us over to the cinema at six thirty, so be at mine if you want to come along.”
“OK, so I will try to do that, if I can, but—”
“The box, I get it,” Harry said. “Big, secret box.” He patted Pierre on the back. “Come on, Pierre.”
Harry grinned at Noah and sauntered off with Pierre. This was hardly an ideal situation, but needs must. This multilevel marketing scheme couldn’t fail.
“Yoo-hoo! Eva!” Noah called across the park, as he struggled with his box towards the small group of depressed-looking teens sitting in a circle on the grass. “It’s me! Noah Grimes! Your exchange host!”
Noah noticed a furtive shuffling between the young people. He knew what was going on, all right. They had probably been secretly smoking cigarettes!
“Hello, Eva,” Noah said, reaching them. “I didn’t know where you’d got to.”
“Cool,” Eva said.
Noah eyed the scene and recognized the three feral undesirables who came to his door yesterday. “I see you have a two-litre bottle of 7 Up,” Noah commented to one of the youths. He raised his eyebrows a little, just to show, whatever the reply, that he knew that bottle probably contained some form of alcohol. He knew what was what. He was streetwise and hip too. “That’s cool.”
The kid took a defiant chug of 7 Up – straight from the bottle, didn’t even decant it into a little plastic cup first. Noah smiled to himself. Four people sharing a bottle? Not an antibacterial wipe in sight? It could only end one way. Rhinovirus. It spread like wildfire.
Noah turned his attention to Eva. He couldn’t allow her to languish here, amongst such types. It was his duty, as host, to save her from these people.
He squatted down so his eyes were level to hers. He’d seen this technique on Supernanny. “Eva,” he smiled. “I like to play ping-pong at the youth club. Et tu?” Noah nodded. He couldn’t think of anything more hateful, but maybe it was different in France – the language textbooks at school might have been a bit dated, but the kids in those dialogues always liked to play ping-pong in youth clubs for some reason, and he couldn’t see why it would be any different today. Plus, a girl like her, who was predominantly limbs, would probably excel at ping-pong, being able to dart effortlessly around the table, like a daddy-long-legs.
Eva shook her head and appeared to be laughing.
Fine. Laugh at me! Noah thought. Go ahead and contract lung cancer or a runny nose in a crap park in England.
He stood back up. “Right. Fine. But I’m locki
ng the front door at ten sharp tonight, so you’d better be back by then.” He picked up his box and started backing away from the group, not trusting he could turn his back on them until he was a little further away. “I know you’re immature and will now do rude signs at me when I turn my back, but just to let you know, I don’t care about that. OK? Just because you make a wanking gesture at me doesn’t mean anything, so do it because I don’t even care.”
Noah turned his back on them and defiantly walked on.
The next thing he knew, an empty two-litre bottle of 7 Up collided with the back of his head.
He stood there, frozen, shocked.
Took a deep breath.
Counted to ten.
He didn’t look back.
Just walked stoically on.
He would not dignify their actions with a response. No! That’s what they wanted!
Walk on. Be proud. Be—
A pine cone clipped him on the back of his head.
Fine. That was fine. It stung a bit, but—
Thwack! Another direct hit by a cone! And then whack! A hail of pine cones was fired from the direction of the feral kids. Noah was under attack! He clutched his box tightly to his chest and struggled out of the park, heart pounding, keeping his head low.
Perhaps that’s why he didn’t see the man and woman sitting in the car watching him.
CHAPTER
FOURTEEN
Noah had tried really, really hard the previous evening. And yet, on every single one of the three doors he’d finally plucked up the courage to knock on, he’d had a negative response, namely:
“No.”
“Piss off.”
“Pete, bring her down, he’s here! She seems to have got something stuck up her anus— Oh, sorry, you’re not the vet, are you?”
But it was a new dawn, a new day, and he was feeling … mildly confident. He had a plan. Selling the shake yourself was one revenue stream. But the more lucrative one was recruiting others to sell for you. It was simple psychology – people didn’t buy products, they bought people. Part of the reason Noah was even involved with this was that, deep down, a little part of him still looked up to Josh. The looks, the cool, confident persona – it was appealing. Noah wasn’t buying protein shake, he was buying Josh. And now, Noah needed to find someone who would buy Noah. Noah needed to find someone who would be equally impressed with him. Someone who would look up to him; see him as a mentor. The Year Eights were a bunch of gobby shits, already too big for their boots. But the Year Sevens were a different matter. Barely four months out of primary school, these nervous little kids would surely be easy pickings for Noah. As a Year Eleven, they would naturally hold him in high esteem – maybe even be a little bit scared of Noah, just like he was of Josh.
And Noah had his sights firmly on one kid in particular. Jack Hooper. The kid had just been elected as Year Seven rep to the school council, ergo he must be both ambitious and have the respect of his peers. These were exactly the qualities Noah needed in one of his sellers.
“Good afternoon, Jack!” Noah gave a confident, wide smile as he approached the bench where Jack was lounging, baby-faced and barely four-and-a-half feet tall, but legs apart and chewing gum like a really much older boy, like a Year Ten, maybe. He was surrounded by what appeared to be a group of Year Seven henchmen – but that was clearly ridiculous because they were just Year Sevens.
A very tall girl swaggered up to Noah. “Who’s this joker?”
“I wish to speak to Jack.” Noah swallowed. “It’s school council business.”
Jack looked up (finally!) and gave Noah a lazy glance up and down. “It’s Noah, yeah?”
“Yes, it’s me,” Noah said.
“Cool,” Jack sniffed. “Guys, I need some space,” he said to his goons.
Noah waited patiently as the gang of eight kids collected their bags and slunk off to the other corner of the playground. “So!” Noah began. “This is nice. I thought it might be—”
“Why are you here?” Jack interrupted.
“Right, OK, yes. So … may I sit?”
Jack nodded his consent and Noah perched down next to him, got his phone out and passed it to Jack. “You seen this stuff?”
Jack glanced at the picture on the screen. “Protein powder? Yeah, I’ve seen it. What about it?”
“It’s a real growing market, Jack. Everyone wants to get their hands on it. Everyone wants to look good, right?!” Noah laughed, loud and hard, for way too long.
Jack gave him a withering look. “It can fuck up your kidneys, that stuff.”
“Wha— Can it?” Noah said.
Jack nodded. “If you take too much.” He chewed his Wrigley’s Extra for a bit. “Anyway, what about it?”
Noah leaned into the boy. “This stuff is selling like … lemonade on a drrrrry, hot day.”
Jack screwed his face up. “Right?”
“I’m helping to sell this stuff and, let me tell you, I’m making good money.”
“How much?”
Noah nodded. “Three hundred a week, not gonna lie,” he lied.
Jack handed Noah the phone back. “It looks like low-quality shit.”
“No! No, Jack, it’s high-quality shit. I mean, not even shit. Nectar. It’s the protein powder of the gods. And this is a brilliant multilevel network marketing opportunity.”
“You mean it’s a pyramid scheme.”
Noah’s leg started bouncing up and down. “No. No, no, no. It’s just a simple network of sales reps, all working for the common good. No pyramid in sight. Look, do you want in? There’s money to be made. Good money. Think of all the Lego you could buy.”
Jack snorted. “Lego? Fucking Lego?”
Noah sighed. For a Year Seven he was certainly very confident with swear words and alarmingly clued up about the world. Kids grew up fast these days. “Or whatever. You can buy … sweets, then!”
Jack laughed.
“Football cards?”
Jack guffawed with what appeared to be a vast amount of contempt.
“Listen, you can buy hard drugs and pay sex workers for all I care, do you want in?”
Jack shook his head. “Not really, Noah. Like I said, it looks like low-grade powder, with an unknown brand. It’ll be a tough sell.”
“You can get thirty quid a tub for it.”
“And how much would I have to buy it for?”
Noah stifled a smile. He had him hooked. Now for the price! Josh sold it to Noah for a tenner a tub. If Noah sold it on for twenty, he could make a tidy ten-pound profit per sale. “Twenty.”
“Make it six and we have a deal.”
“Six fifty!” Noah blurted out, immediately realizing he should have come back with nineteen.
“Done!” Jack grabbed Noah’s hand and shook it. “Nice doing business with you.”
“No, wait, I made a fatal error because—”
Jack brushed Noah away. “You need to go, mate, I’ve got a date with my girlfriend.”
Noah stared at him for a moment. How could this kid, who was twelve tops, have an actual, living girlfriend? Why was everyone so much more advanced than Noah was? “Look, of course, but when I said six fifty, what I meant was—”
“She’s in Year Eight, just to warn you.”
“Oh God,” Noah said.
“I’ll come find you when I’ve got my leads confirmed,” Jack said.
“Uh-huh, lovely.” Noah nodded.
“And you’d better have a reliable supply, because I’m gonna shift a metric fuck-tonne of this shit!”
“Cool, cool, everything’s cool, it’s just, I really need—”
Jack tossed him a two-pound coin. “Do us a favour and grab a can of KA from the canteen, will ya?”
Noah missed the coin, scrambling around on the ground to retrieve it. “Um, I’m kind of busy, though.”
Jack held his hand out. “Get one for yourself, obviously.”
Noah nodded. “Oh, well, that’s kind – thank you. Thanks. I’ll…”
“Be back soon. I’m thirsty.”
“I’ll … sure. Right now, then. Great. So…” Noah smiled at Jack, but he was already busy texting on his phone. “OK, back in a minute, then.”
Noah scuttled off in the direction of the vending machines in the main hall. “Hellfire and damnation,” he muttered to himself. How had he allowed this to happen? Why was Jack so intimidating? Should he tell a teacher?
“Oh, hi there, No-ah!” Jess Jackson cooed, as she turned around from the vending machine, a Cadbury Flake in hand, as Noah hurried up.
“Jess.” He squeezed past her and inserted his coin into the slot.
“So. Harry and Pierre,” Jess said.
Noah froze at the machine and took a breath. Whatever bullshit she was about to spout, he didn’t want to hear it.
“Mmmmmm,” she purred. Noah glanced to the side, catching sight of her caressing the Flake with her parted glossy lips. “I love Flakes.”
Noah rolled his eyes. “Oh? Are you still here, Jessica?” He gave her a tight smile and pressed the buttons for his can.
“That’s cool, Noah. You’re clearly fine with the whole cinema thing, so my work here is done.”
THUD. The can hit the bottom of the vending drawer. Noah grabbed it and darted after Jess as she strolled away, gently stroking her baby bump.
“Wait, Jess! What do you mean the ‘cinema thing’? How do you … how did you know about the cinema?”
Jess took another languid bite of Flake, brushing some stray flecks of chocolate from her lips with her little finger. “I was at the cinema last night. I saw Harry and Pierre.”
Noah swallowed. “Yes, they went to the cinema. I couldn’t go.”
“Exactly. That’s why you didn’t see.”
“See what?”
“You didn’t see Pierre all snuggled into Harry, resting his head on Harry’s shoulder. You didn’t see how cosy it looked, Noah. Maybe it means nothing. In fact, I’m sure it’s totally innocent. I just thought I should say something. Josh says we gotta look after the employees, so, I guess that’s what I’m doing. It’s just, you have to admit, you do have this habit of somehow repelling people, don’t you?” She smiled at him, a sad sort of smile. “I hope I’m wrong, Noah. I really hope I’m wrong. But, let’s face it, you know I’m usually right.”
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