Harry was already locked on to Noah’s lips before he could get to the end of the sentence. Harry really was a tremendously good kisser. And Noah was pretty sure he was getting better at it too.
“Show me that pic again!” Harry said, suddenly breaking away. “The one Eric just sent of the tiara.”
Noah pulled his phone from his pocket and handed it over. “It’s definitely Gran’s tiara,” he said.
Harry shook his head, fingers enlarging the photo. “It’s not that. Look.” Harry handed the phone across, the screen zoomed in on the background of the photo. “What do you see?”
“Looks like a menu,” Noah said. “So, this photo was taken in some sort of restaurant, specifically –” Noah zoomed in a little more “– an establishment calling itself ‘Route 66’, strapline, ‘The All-American Dining Experience’.”
Harry nodded, eagerly. “I know that place! It’s on the A46, just south of Newark. We went there once on our way back from Nottingham – they do amazing milkshakes with totally batshit-crazy toppings. They must have stopped off there for some food, but it’s a start. Maybe someone there will have seen them – a waitress or something.”
“Ohhhh. You’re good. That’s good,” Noah said.
Harry’s smile grew wider. “Are we going to follow them?! Like, in a movie?”
“A film, Harry. And, well, yes. Yes, we are, I just don’t know quite how. If only one of us were seventeen and had a vehicle.”
“It’s very sexy. The chase, I mean, not our inability to drive.”
Noah blushed. “Don’t be mentioning sex again because we haven’t got time for any more kissing or heavy petting even though…” Noah checked his Casio digital watch and set the timer. “I mean, maybe just, like, a minute?”
“Sounds good,” Harry said, plunging right in, so Noah fell back against the sofa arm, Harry on top of him.
Sixty seconds of epic-ness followed, which Noah found highly enjoyable and nice… Beep beep, beep beep, beep beep… There, his watch was going off, the minute was up. Already! They really needed to stop this now … just a second more … just a… OK, five seconds more is fine… No, that didn’t count because he was thinking about allowing the extra five seconds so couldn’t actually enjoy them, so it would be a further five seconds, starting in five seconds’ time and—
“Hallo, boys!”
Noah twisted his head to see Mick standing in the door as Harry sprang back from him. “I thought you’d gone?!” Noah squealed.
“Takes a girl time to get herself ready!”
“Right. Well. We were just … having a lie-down.”
“I can see!” Mick said. “Looks like a very nice ‘lie-down’ too.”
“Yes, it is a nice lie-down, thank you,” Noah snapped. “Will there be anything else?”
“Just wanted to say goodbye, Noah. Maybe you’ll never see me again.”
Harry turned his flushed face towards Mick. “Where you going?”
“London, babes. Seeking my fortune on the streets paved with gold, following after Dick!”
Harry giggled.
“Harry, that’s not funny,” Noah said.
“It’s a bit funny,” Harry said.
“I’m just gonna get the van checked out at the garage, and then I’ll be on my way! Gonna drive up tonight so I can spend tomorrow in London,” Mick said. “Don’t bother getting up – I can see that might be awkward for both of you.”
“Wait!” Harry said. “You’ve got a van?”
“What did you think that huge pink monstrosity parked in the driveway was?” Noah asked, flabbergasted.
“Yeah, I got wheels, babes, what of it? Wanna ride out of this no-good town?”
Noah and Harry locked eyes.
“Come to think of it, yes! We do!” Noah said. “Please. I know we’ve not always seen eye to … eye, Micky, but now, now I need you. I need your help. I need your help to right a terrible wrong and prevent an injustice from occurring. My father and Eric have stolen Gran’s diamonds, you see? I need to track them down and get them back. They’re somewhere near Newark now. What do you say?”
Mick crossed his arms and took a long, hard look at the boys. “I have a proposal,” he finally said.
“We’re listening,” said Harry.
“This show in London is important to me. It’s Bambi’s chance to hit the big time.”
“And you’ll be great.” Noah nodded.
“But there’s so much competition in London. The shows, cabarets, the bars and clubs…”
“The Science Museum,” Noah added.
Mick ignored him. “And so little money for marketing. I mean, the promoter went fifty-fifty on printing the leaflets for me, but there’s nothing for distribution. Unless I have a little help, of course.” Mick smiled. “Unless I have a couple of Soho Flyer Boys to hand them out!”
“Us?” Noah said.
“That sounds awesome!” Harry added.
“Does it?” Noah frowned.
“Noah! It’s London. It’ll be ace. We’ll have a great time!”
“If you agree,” Mick said, “I’ll help you get those diamonds back on the way down, then you help me for a night in London. You scratch Bambi’s back, Bambi will scratch yours.”
Noah wrinkled his nose. He didn’t want Bambi scratching around anywhere near him; not with those nails. Harry, however, nodded along, his eager face all smiles, like this was all fully amazing. “OK, let’s not do anything rash,” Noah said.
Harry rolled his eyes. “Noah.”
“No, hear me out!” Noah insisted. “What about the geography homework? I was going to tackle that tomorrow!”
“We’ll be back on Sunday, do it then!”
“Well, maybe, but OK then – what about Timothy the Fish? If I’m away all weekend, who will care for his needs?”
“Ask your mum,” Harry said.
Noah gave a mocking little laugh. “Trés funny, Harry, trés funny. Despite the pretence of respectability my mother is currently putting on, with the house to herself she will doubtless be downing Echo Falls Summer Berries and doing a pole dance before we know it. Timothy will perish under her care – it’s a miracle I have survived as long as I have.”
Harry sighed, but was clearly determined not to let this opportunity for a trip to London be jeopardized. “OK,” he said, “we can take Timothy to mine. My mum can look after him, if that’ll make you happy.”
Noah chewed his lip. “Mmm, well…”
“Noah, there are literally no more objections you can come up with to this plan. And you want the diamonds back, don’t you?” Harry said.
“THE GREAT BRITISH QUIZ OFF!” Noah squealed. “It’s tomorrow night! OH MY GOD!”
Harry put a reassuring hand on Noah’s arm. “Noah, you do realize, fantastic though the quiz sounds, that two of the three people who will come to it are in this room now.”
Noah sucked his cheeks in.
“Because,” Harry continued, “great as the quiz will surely be, literally everyone else is going to the club night on Saturday. And while they’re at some shitty club in Lincoln – your words! – we’ll be at a real London gay club!”
“And what of our French wards?” Noah asked.
Harry shrugged. “Probably be good to have a couple of days away from Pierre, after everything, right? Besides, he can look after himself, he’s a big boy.”
“In all senses of the word,” Noah muttered.
“What?”
“Nothing. And Eva seems to hate me anyway, so I don’t suppose she’d be bothered.”
“Exactly!”
Noah sighed and looked at Mick. “I guess you have a deal.”
“YES!” Harry said, punching the air.
“Then get yourselves packed up and ready to go. Bring some camping gear because we’ll end up kipping overnight on the way down, and I only have the cash to splash on a London hotel on Saturday night.” Mick paused dramatically at the door. “The hunt is on.”
CHAPTER
TWENTY-SEVEN
Noah threw his old camping rucksack from the Scouts into the back of the pink van, next to the case of protein shake he’d stashed in there, in the hope that out of the saturated Little Fobbing market and away from nasty Year Seven boys, he could sell some before the house of cards came crashing down. He narrowed his eyes at the sight of his mother coming down the drive with a carrier bag of shopping.
“What’s going on?” she demanded.
“Did you know about my father and half-brother’s plans for a diamond heist?” Noah asked.
His mum laughed. And then her face fell as she looked at Noah and realized he was serious. “Noah, really? Brian and Eric have gone fishing, I told you!”
“Lies!” Noah sang. “I’ll bet you too are into this up to your saggy neck, Mother!”
His mum put the shopping bag down. “Noah, your dad is a changed man. He’s wanting a fresh start. For us to…”
“Be a family, I know, Mother!” Noah grimaced. “But the truth is very different. He and Eric have stolen Gran’s tiara.”
His mum frowned. “That old piece of tat you used to dress up with?”
“Yes, well, it turns out it’s studded with diamonds, not glass, and rather valuable.”
“This is ridiculous.” His mum shook her head. “So, where are you all going?”
Noah eyeballed her. “I am going to track down Father and Eric. Mick is kindly providing the transport, in return for us helping market Bambi’s glamorous new show in London Town.”
“Mick?” his mum said.
“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him, Lisa,” Mick replied, throwing the box of flyers in the back of the van.
“I’m sixteen. I can take care of myself now,” Noah told them.
“Can I have a word, Mick?” his mum said, pulling Mick over towards the front door.
Noah walked round to the front of the van, as Harry’s mum pulled up in her car. Noah smiled as Harry hopped out of the passenger seat with his bag and unloaded a couple of tents … and then he frowned as he saw Pierre get out of the back, with his bag too. Damn it. He and Harry could really have used a bit of quality time together; now the cause of all the trouble was clearly coming along too.
“Mum was funny about him not coming,” Harry whispered quickly as he scooted up to Noah. “Said she didn’t know what she was going to do with him all weekend.”
Noah nodded. “Fine.”
“But we’ll both keep an eye on him and if he starts any nonsense, I’ll say something.”
“Or I’ll say something,” Noah suggested, keenly aware that Harry didn’t know everything that had happened, and he didn’t want an upset or humiliated Pierre to spill the beans out of spite.
“Yeah, cool,” Harry said. “Anyway, I’ve filled him in on what’s going on.”
“Maybe we have a picnic on the way?” Pierre grinned, walking up to them and dropping his bag on Noah’s drive.
Noah stared at him. “Maybe.”
Pierre nodded. “Nice.”
“Nice, yes,” Noah agreed.
Noah glanced at Harry, who glanced back at him and raised an eyebrow slightly. It was a good moment to make it clear to Pierre how things were going to work, in a firm but pleasant manner. “Pierre,” Noah smiled, “you have been afforded the pleasure of sitting in the front seat, where you will enjoy maximum countryside views. Harry and I will sit in the rear seats.”
“I sit in back too,” Pierre said.
“No,” Noah said. “You sit in front.”
“You sit in the front, Pierre,” Harry added.
“Fine.” Pierre shrugged, taking his bag and throwing it in the van.
The appalling roar of a motorcycle indicated the arrival of Eva, riding as a pillion passenger with what Noah could only assume was some sort of Hells Angel.
Eva jumped off, shook her blonde hair free of the helmet, and meandered down the drive towards them.
“You are going somewhere?” she said.
Noah raised an eyebrow. “London,” he said.
Eva’s eyes lit up for the first time since Noah had met her. “Cool. I’ll be five minutes.”
Noah ran his hands through his hair. “No, Eva! No, you see—”
But in just a couple of strides of her endless legs, Eva was already through the front door, having given a thumbs up to the Hells Angel, who revved the motorcycle and screamed away down the street.
“Argh! I knew I should have had her sent back!” Noah said to Pierre and Harry. “Been nothing but trouble and refuses to engage with me about French matters.”
“I am happy to engage on ‘French matters’,” Pierre said, with a slight smile.
Noah breathed at him. “How kind. Get in the van.”
“In back, yes?”
“IN FRONT!” Noah screamed. He strode over to where his mother and Mick were standing. “We need to go.”
“Er, you’ll go when Mick’s ready to go, mister!” his mum said. She turned to Mick. “Don’t take any of his shit, will you?”
“I can handle him,” Mick smiled.
“EVA?! EVA, WE ARE GOING! GET YOUR SORRY GERMAN SELF DOWN HERE AT ONCE IF YOU’RE INSISTING ON COMING!”
Eva appeared with her guitar case.
“Where’s your bag?”
“Travelling light.”
“With just your guitar? What about a face wash, at least? Or a simple pair of knickers?”
Eva shrugged. “Just need this.” She ambled into the van.
“She’s going to smell. We’ll try and hose her down at a car wash somewhere. Farewell, Mother. When you next see me I will have thwarted a criminal endeavour and been to London. I will be a changed person. Take a long hard look at the boy, for he will return a man.”
“Do you need the toilet before you set off? It’s miles to the nearest service station!”
“No.”
“I think you should try to have a wee.”
Noah chewed his lip. “I’m totally fine. Don’t need one. Pretty confident I’m old enough to know my own bladder.”
“Make him eat at least some fruit and veg, else he gets constipated.” His mum shrugged, going inside.
“Mum!”
“Well, it’s true!” she shouted from within.
Noah growled in the general direction of his mother, then strode up to the van, hopped inside and slammed the sliding side door shut.
“Where to, then?” Mick asked.
“The inappropriately named Route 66 Diner on the A46,” Noah said. “They were there earlier.”
“ROAD TRIP!” Mick shouted.
Noah clamped his mouth firmly shut, worried that if he didn’t, some sarcastic little remark would likely pop out. Mick was doing them a favour. Noah would just have to suck it up.
Mick reversed the van out of the drive, swinging it round to face forward and zooming off down the road … just as Noah glanced out of the window and saw two familiar strangers, one holding a camera, sitting in a black Vauxhall Astra.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-EIGHT
Noah’s chest was so tight, every breath was a struggle. Pierre and Eva were happily chattering away in French, and Harry and Mick were discussing something to do with Mick’s show, but all Noah could do was stare out the window and run through scenarios of what those people in the black Vauxhall Astra wanted and who they actually were. The trip to London was starting to feel like the best thing. The big city promised crowds and anonymity. It felt safe.
Ten minutes into the journey and other more pressing matters presented themselves – to Noah, anyway. “It’s no good,” Noah said, “we’re going to have to stop at a service station. I require bathroom facilities.”
“Mate, like your mum said, there isn’t a services for miles,” Mick said.
“Then what will I do?”
“Wait?” Mick suggested.
Noah sighed. He hadn’t anticipated needing a wee quite so soon – perhaps it was all with the excitement of the journey … or those two cans of Ch
erry Coke he’d downed before they left. But this was fine. He would be fine. He was sixteen now, so he would just wait like any other adult and not piss his pants.
He needed to take his mind off matters.
Aha! Of course! Noah pulled several A4 sheets out of his rucksack. “OK, everyone. We all know journeys can be tedious, so I always bring along my home-made Travel Bingo to help pass the time!” he said, leaning forward and handing Pierre and Eva a sheet each, then passing one to Harry. “Now, as you can see, there are thirty boxes, each containing something you may see on the journey.” He handed some pens out to the group. “When you see the thing, just draw a cross through the box. If you manage to cross out all thirty boxes, you shout ‘Travel Bingo!’ and that means you’ve won. OK? Pens at the ready… On your marks… Get set… GO!” Noah said, immediately crossing off “Electricity Pylon” as they drove past one.
“Red car!” Pierre said, crossing off that box.
“No, Pierre, don’t say it out loud – you’ll alert others to what you’ve worked so hard to see. Now we’ve all seen the ‘red car’ and so we will all be crossing it off our cards,” Noah told him. “Eva? Have you crossed off ‘red car’?”
“No.”
“Well, that’s up to you, but it is a good start, so I would if I were you.”
“I didn’t see it.”
“OK, well, you need to keep a keen eye out. This game is all about observation skills.” Noah struggled to cross his legs. “I’m just going to sit like this for a bit.”
“Have you pissed yourself yet?” Mick shouted back at him.
“Nope!” Noah said. “No, I’m fine. It would have been nice to stop, but it’s fine that we haven’t.”
“Lorry,” Pierre said.
“No! Pierre, no! You must not say all the things out loud. Keep it in your head!” Noah insisted.
“Golden eagle?” Harry said, looking down his list. “We’re in the East Midlands, not the wilds of Scotland!”
“Well, that’s the game,” Noah said. “I can’t help that, can I?”
Harry looked glum. “Be hard to win though.”
“But not impossible. Who knows what we might see, if we look hard enough!” Noah uncrossed his legs and crossed them the other way. “Actually, you’re right. Let’s change it. Everyone delete ‘Golden Eagle’ and replace it with, um, let’s see… ‘Toilets.’ OK? And, this is going to be a special bonus box, and if you see toilets, you shout it out immediately, and you will have won. So, you’ve all got a great reason to look out for toilets especially, because then you will win.”
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