“I think I should cancel after what just happened.”
The hell she is. I refuse to let that asshole ruin her plans. “Fuck no you’re not.”
She flinches from my harsh tone. Meant for him not her. Damn it. I’ve got to stop fucking up what I say to her. I caress her scarlet cheek, warm and flushed under my hand. “I’m sorry. I just meant that there’s no reason for you to stay home.”
Worry twitches her lips, with protests she’s too fearful to voice out loud. Fuck me for scaring her more. I need to quit acting like a bastard and force my voice to be calm. “I mean it. I really want you to go and have a good time.”
“Okay.”
Absolutely zero conviction in her tone. Her slender body still coiled with stress. Ready to spring with the slightest provocation. Which I need to prevent. And relieve. “If you don’t, I’ll drag you to the stores myself and you know what will happen if I get you alone and naked in the dressing room.”
I swear to fucking god I feel her nipples harden through the thin material of her dress. If I didn’t have this shit to take care of, I’d lay her across my desk and fuck the anxiety right out of her.
A bit of sparkle returns to her eyes. “We’d get arrested for sure.”
“You’d be so fucking worth it.”
My sweet talk earns me a smile and a kiss on the cheek. Sometimes I can be charming. To her anyway. Once she’s gone, I’m going to figure how to crush this bastard before he can destroy me first.
I cup her delicate face. Too dangerous to touch her any place else, or I won’t be able to control myself. Or my cock. “I love you Trinity. I want you to have fun.”
Her cheeks fill my hands. The huge grin I’d kill for returns to her brighter face, back where it belongs and should always remain. “I love you too.”
The tension in my muscles softens a bit despite myself. We’re good again, which is all I want. Realizing more and more that her being happy and with me is all I need. Now I just need to fix everything else to ensure I don't jeopardize either one.
I guide her back to the lobby, leading her around housekeeping already cleaning up our spoiled meal. Leanna flicks an uneasy gaze toward me. The first time I've ever seen my secretary show any uncertainty around me. A normal response I guess since it's the first time I've ever acted like a fucking lunatic in my own damn office. I've fucked up and deserve her disappointment. "I'm sorry, Leanna."
Trinity's small hand squeezes mine. A reassuring validation, that while my moral compass may be fucked up, I'm doing the right thing. At least from her perspective.
Although Leanna seems to respond with relief too. Her shoulders smoothing down from hunching around her neck. "It's okay. He deserved it."
Her hand flies over her mouth as she laughs. First time I've ever seen her act even the slightest bit unprofessional. I fucking like it. Trinity must feel the same way and giggles along with her. I'm just glad they both seem to have withstood the trauma of my outburst. Only one more person I need to make things right with. But he's not going to receive any apology from me. Fucking far from it. The only remorse is going to be his, for fucking up so fucking bad.
Trinity leans into my kiss on her temple. "Give me just a minute, sunshine."
"Oh…okay."
Hesitation threads through her voice. Luckily, Leanna recognizes my cue and steps closer. "You must be so excited! Do you have your dress picked out for tonight?"
I leave them to chat and beeline to her bodyguard waiting by the elevator. Should be fucking three of them. Pensive eyes meet mine when I slam open the lobby doors. "What the fuck, Butcher? You let that bastard fucking assault my wife."
His head twists furiously. Already on the defense. Well aware he fucked up.
"But he's a senator and I‒"
I fucking hate excuses. "I don't give a fuck. Anyone - no matter who the fuck it is - touches her, you kill them. Or I kill you. You understand me?"
"Yes, sir."
No real reaction. His face impassive. I don't give a fuck if he's fuming inside. He just better follow fucking orders like I pay him to. "And don't ever fucking dismiss Joey and Nalin again. She has three guards. Always."
A curt nod. Either from his own good sense to be fucking afraid or Trinity pushing the door open stifles his words. Good. Because I don't want to hear any more of his bullshit. Now, only one last asshole to deal with before I enjoy an evening with my wife.
4
Chapter Four
The rustle of taffeta sliding over my head muffles Trish’s comment. “I’m sorry. I didn’t catch that.”
“I said, that one is my favorite.”
I smooth down the silk over my stomach. Although I shouldn’t be so vain, it’s impossible to stop staring at myself in the mirror. I’ve never worn anything so elegant and sophisticated before. Foster home girls don't get to attend dances or parties. With my first time ever feeling like a princess, I give a little spin, smiling from the tiny sequins sparkling under the fluorescent lights. Totally dorky, I know, but I just can't help myself. "Do you think Drake will like it?"
She steps closer, both of us smiling back at ourselves. Gently bundling my wild hair with her long fingers, she twists the thick mass into a bun on the back of my head. A few strands escaping to tendril around my face. Her eyes roam to the dip between my breasts. The wrap around sleeves. A naughty slit in the champagne fabric rising all the way to my left thigh. The mermaid swish at the bottom that's totally over the top ridiculous and absolutely breathtaking.
"He'll love it." With her free hand, she swipes the tears trickling down her freckled cheeks. “I’m sorry I’m being silly. You’re just so beautiful. I love seeing you happy.”
Grateful for her heartfelt sentiments, I loathe ruining our opportunity to play dress up. But she's been quiet all afternoon, not even indulging in her favorite bubbly she brought along to celebrate. Her normally exuberant personality strangely subdued, and I can't help but worry. Especially with the incident at Drake's office still fretting in my mind. “Are you sure that's all? You don't seem like yourself.”
My best friend since second grade when our teacher sat us in alphabetical order by first name. Trish and Trinity side-by-side for those nine months, and luckily well beyond. Managing to stay connected despite me roaming from school to school, home to home. The only constant in my transient life, and I know more than anyone else when she's hiding something.
She dips her head. Auburn hair falling forward to obscure her face. Pink dotting her flushed skin. The first time I’ve ever seen her shy. “Please Trish. You’re scaring me.”
“I’m pregnant.”
Relief floods my tense muscles, and now I’m crying and laughing too. I hug her tight. Wrinkling the gorgeous dress crushed between us. “Congratulations! I’m so excited for you!”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to steal your thunder. This is your day, but I can’t seem to quit getting all weepy. Hormones I guess.”
"Don't apologize! There's no one I'd rather celebrate with."
She steps out of my embrace and caresses over a slight curve to her stomach that I hadn’t noticed hidden under her flowy top. "Plus, I'm starting to show. I'm almost nine weeks already."
"You've only been married a month!"
She gives me the ‘you’re kidding’ look that only a best friend can get away with. "Um, you know I hate to break it to you, but some people actually have sex before their wedding night."
Now it's my turn to blush from her good-natured teasing. Although we both know we're far less experienced than other women our age. I suffered alongside her from the devastation of Chad Baxter dumping her the day after their senior prom. She gave him her virginity; he gave her a complex.
Until Noah, she avoided men and focused on excelling in college, while I stayed busy with the shelter. Not much opportunity to meet guys during endless weekends filled with adoption events. Never really seemed like a loss though, since animals are often the only ones who don't disappoint you. “I know,
I know. It just seems like everything is moving so fast.”
“Me? What about you?”
Her eyes widen in exaggerated disbelief. Engulfing both of us in infectious giggles. No comparison to the speed of my relationship. “I guess Drake is a bit persistent.”
“Maybe just a little.” The laughter softens along with her smile. Glowing with a wistfulness she always has when rare good fortune comes my way. “Because he loves you. Really. I can tell.”
Now it’s her turn to see through me. Exposing the insecurity I’ve wrapped around myself so long and tight, I feel naked against the truth. Revealing the self-doubt she always tries to unwind from strangling my nervous heart. “You can?”
“Yeah. From the way he looks at you. Like you’re the only person in the room. Like you’re the only person in the whole freaking world.” So much confidence fills her voice. I’m almost hypnotized by her words. “Even Noah mentioned it. And for a man to notice, you know it has got to be totally obvious.”
I love the way her face lights up when she says her husband’s name. That she’s finally found the happiness she deserves too. “I like Noah.”
With a dreamy expression, she slowly nods. “Me too.”
“Well, I would hope so since you’re having his baby.”
Shiny eyes meet mine, and she pulls me against her again. The happiest tears we’ve ever shed together.
I toss my keys on the table and shove the door shut behind me. Only fifteen minutes to shower and get my tux on. Wasted too much damn time fighting with McAdams. Resisting all his bullshit arguments. Whether he likes it or not, I’m out. These are my last contracts with him. He can find someone else to help him screw over the government. Too many greedy assholes who want in on the action. When all I want is Trinity.
My quick pace halts when she appears at the top of the stairs. As if perched on a pedestal, where she perfectly belongs. More beautiful than a fucking model.
“What do you think?”
A shaking hand brushes over her hip as she glances down. Smoothing invisible wrinkles before meeting my gaze again. With her hesitant voice and nervous demeanor, somehow I get the vibe that she asks about more than just the dress. Questioning everything that’s led us to this moment. If the celebration tonight is as genuine to me as it is to her.
I take the ten steps slowly. Drinking her in. Not missing a single detail of her softly tamed hair. The fancy twist in the back unable to corral a few wayward curls framing her face. Slight smile that could easily falter with the wrong word. Iridescent fabric floating above her gorgeous curves. The hint of smooth thigh where the fabric slits. High heels still not enough to bring us to eye level with each other.
At the top, I slide her delicate fingers in mine and hold our coupled hands to my chest. Unable to trust myself not to do anything else. She has to know, must believe, that I meant every word of my vows. That I’ll never break or bend the commitment I’ve made to her. To us. “I’m humbled that a woman as amazing as you is my wife.”
Her glorious body strains toward me. Leaning closer, seemingly of its own accord, to accept the genuine emotion I hope I convey with my words and my touch. “You take my breath away sunshine. You’re fucking magnificent.”
Timidity flares from my boldness, and her head tilts down. “I spent too much.”
Like I give a damn. “You’re totally worth it.”
“We ‒ I got carried away. I’m sorry.”
Tension stiffens her body, and she attempts to tug her hand out of mine. Panic pulses in her voice. Suddenly flustered but I don’t understand why.
“I’ll pay you back. I promise. Every week when I get paid I’ll give you a little bit until it’s all‒”
What the fucking hell? “Trinity, stop. I don’t give a fuck about the money.”
“I was drinking, and I guess I got a little tipsy from the champagne."
Even with my gut throbbing from her anxiety, my traitorous cock perks up from that divulgence. I knew I should have gone shopping with her. "Then I wish I was there to take advantage of you."
No laugh or smile from my teasing. Worry, instead of humor, still floods her drawn face. “We were gone all afternoon.”
Her gaze flits around the loft. Guilty, like there was some shit she needed to do here. That’s what I pay my housekeeper for. “So what?”
“I just…”
Unwilling to look at me, she stares down at the hardwood. Almost cowering, like a cornered animal, with my hands gripping her taut arms. What the fuck does this gorgeous woman have to be so damn insecure about?
I’m so fucking confused from all of these needless confessions for indiscretions that don’t mean shit. Until the realization hits me. Like a fucking bat to the back of my god damn head. Before we stand in front of my family and our friends, presented as a happy husband and wife, we have to be real. We have to mean it. We have to last.
So she has to make sure I won’t get angry. She won’t be in trouble. She won’t be punished. She won’t get kicked out.
Fuck that shit. I slide my finger under her chin, as gentle as I can with the agony speeding through my veins from her self-torture, and lift her sweet face to mine. “I don’t give a fuck if you spend money or hang out with your friend or get falling down drunk all damn day.”
A stuttered breath blows against my palm. Hopefully, she fucking hears and understands my meaning. “There’s nothing you can ever say or do to make me upset.” I stroke her cheek, holding her in place with a firm grip. “Except leave me.”
“Never.”
More conviction than I’ve ever heard swells through her whisper. One word instantly easing my torment. Just like I want for her troubled mind and wounded heart. Yet, I have to find a way for her to be as confident in my feelings for her that she has for me.
Softening my grasp on her, I tip my head closer. Luxuriating in her soft kiss. That turns more urgent as my hands slide around her waist and I clutch her to me. That I have to fucking stop, or we’ll both be in trouble.
“You’re too beautiful for me to ruin it…right now anyway. But after the party is a different story.”
An authentic smile finally emerges. “I have to admit I have a thing for a guy in a tuxedo. So maybe it’ll be me ruining you…”
Fuck me. I need her so fucking bad. “There’s nothing I want more.”
My dick, straining against my boxer briefs so hard I can feel the fucking zipper teeth of my pants, agrees with me. Only a few more hours that I have to share her, and then she’ll be all mine again.
5
Chapter Five
“Oh my God, honey. No wonder Drake’s so smitten with you. You’re simply stunning.”
“Thank you.”
Uncertain what to do, I do nothing. Stand here and let her squeeze my trembling hand. Appraise me from head to toe. Try to smile. Not to fidget. Ignore the ache in my stomach. That she’ll hate me. That she’ll know I’m scared beyond reason she’ll tell her son that marrying me was a terrible mistake and he could do so much better. Or worse yet, that he’ll believe her.
I glance over at him, but his gaze is already on me. Watching me. Ready to swoop in and rescue me. Just like he promised. His sly wink warms me in places I shouldn’t be thinking about with his mother standing two feet in front of me. I can do this. I will do this. He’ll be proud of me. Proud that I’m his wife.
“Drake said you work at the animal shelter?”
“Yes, I coordinate the volunteers’ schedules to make sure the animals are fed and watered. They also help with other things like walking the dogs and cleaning out litter boxes.”
Her attention drifts to something behind me. Searching for something else. Someone else. She’s bored. I’m boring. Stop talking. Stop talking. Stop talking.
I start to step back. Time for me to escape before I make her opinion of me worse. “Thank you for having me, I mean us. I’m sure you’re busy with everything, so I’ll just‒”
“And your parents? They’re physici
ans, living abroad?”
Why didn’t she let me walk away? Heat flames in my chest, radiating out through my throbbing body. Well aware the direction her questions head. I take a deep breath. Failing to slow my racing heart. “Yes, they’re involved with international relief efforts, so they travel where the need’s the greatest. All over the world.”
“But what about you, honey?”
What about me? I often wonder the same thing myself.
“I was kind of a surprise…”
I smile brighter with all the humor I can feign. I never say accident. The truth makes everyone uncomfortable. Better to stick with jokes and laughter.
“So you lived with your grandparents?”
Posed like a question, but she knows. Otherwise, she wouldn’t dig. Wouldn’t make me defend them. Or our situation. I manage a small giggle and try to gloss over the awkward details I don’t like to share. That no one likes to hear. “After I was born they worked in an emergency room for a while, but it didn’t have the same rush I guess. So I stayed with my Mom’s friend but you know babies aren’t for everyone. Then I was with my grandmother until having a rambunctious toddler got to be too much for her. I lived with my aunt and uncle for a while, but they already had two children so I’m sure three kids was a handful. Then I was in foster homes until I turned eighteen and moved in with my best friend.”
I finally stop rambling and gesture to Trish. Blessed that she’s my sister-in-law now too. She’s so beautiful, glowing with her own happiness. My smile’s genuine this time, matching the grin lighting up her face while she talks to her new husband.
“So let me get this straight, you have living, healthy, self-sufficient parents and you ended up in foster care?”
Shame heats my face from her disgusted tone as I shrug. Pretending a nonchalance I don’t feel. I’ve been kicked around so long and so much I shouldn’t be offended. Nothing should bother me at all. But somehow her words still hurt. Piercing the hard shell I like to think I’ve built around myself. Yet, my fortress crumbles instantly when confronted with the harsh reminders of how unwanted I am.
On the Rocks: A Dark Mafia Romance Page 4