Erich’s stomach clenched. Couldn’t he have this one moment, before he had to unravel the mess Martin had caused? “From the way you acted when I gave her the message, I thought she’d give it up. We were both wrong.”
Whatever it was that had held Jaden’s glare lost its appeal. He flipped his attention and took two steps toward the bed. Intimidation rolled off his massive frame, and the snipped cadence of his speech signaled he’d grown tired of their banter. “Letting go is her only hope.”
Pulling Bess tighter, Erich let his hand hover just inches above her cheek. Jaden’s outburst should have startled her awake, but she lay still. “She wants to honor Harry. Who am I to tell her no?” He couldn’t meet Jaden’s stare, knew the truth lay in his eyes. Even though agreeing to perform the séance seemed like helping her, it was really the same as putting a nail in both their coffins
“The idea, Harry, was for you to make a choice that benefited someone other than yourself!”
Erich had finally accepted that he was a different person than Harry, so why did Jaden choose this moment to recognize the soul instead of the man? More than just another puzzle for Erich to work, this irritated him. Every time he accepted one of Jaden’s truths, the reality was altered. Dare Erich admit that he embraced the man he was now over Harry’s past?
“Two entities,” Jaden responded to Erich silent question. “I speak to the one who clings to Bess’s ultimate demise. And yours too. Don’t forget that if Harry’s spirit is called forth, it will leave your body, and you’ll cease to exist. You may be separate, but your life is still tied to his soul.”
Erich’s head fell forward. Sacrificing himself for her seemed like an easy choice, but knowing that Bess’s pain would continue made it complicated.
“You need to figure out how she can find happiness that isn’t dependent on Harry. In the last couple of days you’ve untangled the man you’ve become from the man you were. I dare say you’ve even learned from some of his mistakes. The real gem would be getting Bess to do the same.”
Jaden vanished into thin air, leaving Erich and Bess alone. Even though he’d been racing against the ticking clock, this time — alone with her — was something to cherish. She’d sleep through the night, and he would spend these hours holding her and praying she would forgive him for refusing to take part in the séance.
***
The very moment Bess opened her eyes, pain throbbed from her chest and spread throughout her body. Nothing new. After thirty-two years of marriage, waking alone had been the hardest thing she’d had to do. Every morning for the last eleven plus months, the first thing she faced was tears pressed against her eyes.
The scent of him overpowered her, and she realized instead of Harry, this morning her body ached for Erich. She wrapped her arms around the pillows and resisted the urge to sob. No matter how she sliced it, or tried to dissect it, she couldn’t escape the feelings. Harry had been her whole life; now she longed for another.
The previous night had been a roller coaster of emotions from the moment Harry had used Erich as a vessel right through to her surrender to Erich. Even though her head told her to feel guilty, her heart refused. It was like Erich had told her time and again, Harry wasn’t coming back.
But where had Erich gone?
She slipped out of the bed, straightened the blankets and went to search for him. Checks of the other bedroom, parlor and kitchen turned up empty. In the mudroom, she nearly tripped over Harry’s old rusty tool box now sitting in front of the washing machine. Laying on top of it was a once white rag, covered in soot and smelling like fuel oil. That blasted furnace must have gone out again, and Erich had already fixed it.
She walked out into the morning sun to be bathed by a cool autumn breeze.
Had he left?
There was no way to tell if he’d taken his belongings; he hadn’t arrived with anything of his own. He’d promised to stay by her side and help her out of the mess she’d created with Martin and Gail. Had he changed his mind now that she’d laid down with him? Was that all he’d wanted?
Bess shook off her mind’s ramblings. Erich was different than most. Maybe he had given her reason to doubt him, but she knew he was honorable and trustworthy. In the handful of days they’d spent together, she’d come to count on him. Reassured, Bess retreated to the house and started a pot of coffee. Wherever he’d gone, he’d be back shortly.
She plugged in the peculator and moved toward the table, but the large box sitting by the back door caught her eye. Was it really just yesterday she’d packed up all the trinkets and glamor? Her discussion with Joseph and her resulting emotions felt faraway and distant.
Now, she chuckled at the irony.
She still had no use for the box’s contents. There would be no Tom Foolery at Harry’s show. They didn’t need glitz. They could prove to a doubting world that Harry was the greatest illusionist ever — so skilled he could break the chains of death.
His words, the ones he spoke the night he’d scrawled the code on the paper, flashed through her mind. Her stomach flipped, her legs wobbled and she lowered herself to the chair. Who had she been trying to fool? The bigger-than-life persona defined Harry on the stage. He’d spoke of returning to her, but not because he believed he could. The code was an illusion — a means to protect his legacy. No profiting off his death – that was his sole wish.
But his message had spilled from Erich’s mouth. Harry had done what he didn’t believe in. Shouldn’t she share that with the world? His achievement deserved to be shouted from the mountain tops: Harry defied death to declare his love for her.
Now that was the key. Wasn’t it?
If Harry really wanted the world to hear that declaration, he’d have waited for Halloween and the stage. His words had been a precious gift to her: a comforting embrace to her weeping heart, and her first instinct had been to shine it up and display it to a crowd.
Her desperate need to hang on to Harry had done nothing but dishonor him. She should have been protecting his legacy. Now, with Martin at the helm, it would all become the circus Harry had plotted long and hard to avoid.
Heavy steps sounded on the wooden step. The rattle of the back door caused her breath to catch. Erich was home. She glanced at him as he came into the kitchen. “Where did you run off to this morning?” A silly question. The white box in his hands gave her the answer.
“I wanted to talk to Will and thought I’d bring breakfast back.” He set the box down on the table and hovered over her. She closed her eyes, waiting for his kiss. Seconds later, he fulfilled her expectation, letting his soft lips graze her cheek. “I really hoped I’d make it back before you woke up.”
She clasped her hands together, resting them on her lap. The flames from last night still smoldered between them, and she hungered for his touch and his kiss, but also grappled with decency and decorum. The brazen woman who’d thrown herself at him wasn’t her true nature, and in the bright light of the morning, she wasn’t sure what her next move should be. “Coffee should be ready, let me get some plates and cups.” She started to stand, but his hand pressed down ever-so-gently on her shoulder.
“Sit, Bess. Let me serve you just once. You deserve it after the days you’ve spent caring for me.”
She exhaled and acknowledged his request, relaxing in the chair. Still searching for the words, she fell back on an old cliché. “I think autumn has arrived.”
“It is a beautiful day.”
She caught his gaze as he set a mug and a small plate in front of her. Between that and the inflection of his voice, she could tell he was talking about more than the chill in the air. Her cheeks flushed, but he didn’t seem to notice, and he mirrored the table setting and took the seat to her left.
She picked up the napkin and twisted it in her hands. “I’ve been thinking. Everything got so out of hand last night.”
Erich paled. His gaze dropped as if it were in free fall. “Don’t do this, Bess. Don’t cast away what we shared like it was some
sort of mistake.”
Insensitive as it was, she laughed and tossed the napkin to the table. Sliding her finger under his chin, she lifted it. “I didn’t mean that. I’ll never regret last night. I meant the argument with Martin and all the threats.”
His chest heaved as he exhaled his fears. He wrapped an arm around her neck and rested his forehead against hers. “I suppose I’m to blame for that.”
“Oh, there’s enough to go around. I let my excitement get the best of me and put myself in a position to let Martin blackmail me. I took what should have been a private moment with Harry and tried to spin it into a publicity stunt.”
“You learned that from the master.”
She pulled back from him. He’d said the words casually but that didn’t make them less true. No, they were dead on. Going for the glitz is exactly what Harry would have done in most situations, but not with this. Not with his good name. “I’m afraid when I tell Martin I’ve changed my mind, he’ll follow through on his threats.”
Erich lifted his face to meet her stare, eyebrows arched and mouth agape. “You’ve changed your mind?”
“Harry gave me what I spent months asking for. We created the code to keep his death from becoming a spectacle. I know this in my heart, but I don’t think Martin is going to just accept it.”
“If you don’t have a séance, it’s your word against his, and Martin’s doesn’t count for much with anyone these days. He can’t prove you were going to recreate or fabricate anything if there is no show.”
Erich was right, but did she have the strength to stick to her decision? “What of Harry’s memory and legacy? It feels wrong to forget it all?”
“You shouldn’t forget. You can honor the intent.” Erich sat very still, staring at the mug of coffee still steaming in front of him. “I let my temper get the best of me last night. Instead of confronting Martin, I should have been focused on protecting you. I’d still go to the ends of the earth to do that.”
It wasn’t the first time Erich had made such a claim, but for some reason, she allowed herself to believe him now. The night they’d shared changed everything. “So we fix it just by saying no. And then face the brunt of Martin’s anger together.”
“For as long as you’ll allow me to, I’ll stand by your side.” His lips curved upward, and his eyes almost sparkled.
A blush warmed her cheeks. Erich’s devotion made her feel like the naive, young girl who’d fallen in love with Harry. Where had that girl gone and why had it taken so long for her to return? The answer was simple. She’d been hardened by life’s experiences and jaded by his death. She’d become a shadow of herself, lost in her pain, until Erich’s light had thawed her heart.
“There’s something I should tell you,” Erich stammered as he dug his hand into his pocket and came back with a necklace. “Will finished fixing this. He wanted me to bring it to you.”
She took it and slid the sterling silver thread through her fingers as if examining every link. “It was an anniversary gift from Harry, you know.”
Leaning over the table, she opened the small wooden box that served as a center piece, coming back with his wedding band. Not quite two weeks ago, the broken chain had devastated her, but in the last few days she’d forgotten all about giving it to Will. She hadn’t even touched the ring. Opening the clasp, Bess reunited the two pieces of jewelry and set them both on the table.
The first time she placed the band on the chain it’d been about keeping Harry physically close, but not this time. Now, it was as if she was letting him go. A piece of her would always be Harry’s, but Erich was right. Harry couldn’t consume her anymore. “These are the only two pieces of jewelry he ever gave me. The only extravagance we treated ourselves to...well, except this house.”
Erich’s hand fell to her knee, but he said nothing. With patience, he offered her quiet support and let her deal with the wave of emotions.
Her right hand went to her left ring finger. She gripped her own wedding band and twisted it to and fro, tugging it free. If she were truly dedicated to moving forward with Erich, it was the very least she owed him. It wasn’t fair to either man for her to make love to Erich while honoring her commitment to Harry with the symbol of marriage. After a moment, she slid it on the chain, closed the clasp and returned it to the oak box.
“Are you all right?” Erich asked.
“I am. I feels like it’s time.” She turned to face him and began to lean forward. As if he could sense what she needed, Erich wrapped his arm around her neck and guided her head to his shoulder. He kissed her forehead and then whispered, “I think we should go away, you and I. Maybe east, to the big city.”
She probably should have been offended by the suggestion. A decent woman wouldn’t tarnish her reputation that way, but the idea of going away with Erich thrilled her. “You really think we should?”
He paused and slid his hands down her arms. “I think I was pretty clear about how I feel for you last night, Bess. And I think you’re starting to feel something for me too.”
“But I...but you...”
“You’re still grieving, and I’m not anything like what you had in mind for your future, but life’s just that way sometimes. I think if you and I got away from here, went somewhere you could get a little anonymity, it’d help you heal. Then who knows what might happen. I’m here to take care of you. I promise.”
“You make a lot of promises, Erich Welch.”
“And I intend to keep each and every one. You just need to trust me. Believe in me.”
Believe. The same thing Harry had always asked for. The one thing she’d always given him. Was it right to now turn that faith over to another man? His plan of action did make sense. “My sisters say the same thing, you know, that it isn’t good for me to be out here alone, but I wasn’t alone. Not really. I had my friends and Harry’s memory.”
“You’ll still have your real friends, and you can carry the memories anywhere you go. We could go back to New York, if that’s what you want.”
For the first time in a long time her heart felt just a little lighter, and the tightness in her chest eased. Her grief was waning like a phase of the moon, inch by inch. “You’re right. We should go.”
Chapter Twenty
Bess didn’t recognize the feeling that had settled in her center: contentment. If possible, she’d spend the day with her head on Erich’s shoulder, wrapped up in his protective embrace, listening to his slow, deep breathing. The way he kissed her and touched her was as if they’d been lovers for a lifetime, instead of less than twenty-four hours. She twisted her head and looked at his peaceful face, wondering how he could be so different from Harry, yet so similar.
The sun had begun to peek through the west window, confirming they’d burnt off most of the morning making love with each other and building plans for a bigger, better future. Part of her wondered if it was really possible. Could she forget her promises to Harry and go home with a new beau on her arm?
Like it had been extinguished by an autumn rain, the flames of her passion were drowned by guilt. She slid a finger down the length of his nose, across his lips and over his chin. All Erich asked for was her conviction and promised the world in return. And even though every bit of her heart and body screamed to submit and move forward, a tiny sliver of her heart couldn’t give up on Harry.
But what was she holding out for? Harry had already delivered his message. Choosing Erich as the catalyst might have been Harry’s way of giving this union his stamp of approval.
At least she could try and convince herself of that.
Erich was right. Harry was gone and wouldn’t be coming back. Determined to live whatever life she had left, Bess pulled from Erich’s clutch and slipped into her robe, returning to the kitchen.
The morning’s coffee was now a thick sludge in the bottom of the percolator, and she dumped it down the sink, set on making a fresh pot. Through the window, she saw a familiar car kicking up stones as it pulled into the driveway.
Gail Cooper.
Her final instruction to Martin had been for the two of them to come after lunch, which it was, but only Gail exited the car and walked toward the back door.
Maybe that was a good thing. She’d like to avoid another blow up between Erich and Martin — the last one had almost gone to fist-a-cuffs. It was going to be hard enough to tell Gail that she’d decided to abort the séance. She didn’t need inflated and angry male egos making it worse.
Thinking it might be best to keep Gail and Erich separated too, she greeted Gail on the porch.
Gail met Bess’s less-than-enthusiastic good morning with a big hug. As if she was the one with reason to celebrate. Not like she’d come to construct a huge sham. “When Martin told me what happened, I was so happy for you. You don’t know what it’s taken for me to wait for a decent hour to call.”
Bess stiffened. Internally, she twisted, but outwardly she returned the hug, patting Gail’s shoulder. Happy? What exactly had Martin told her? Blackmail wasn’t a cause for this much joy.
Gail pulled back and sized up Bess with a scowl. “Dear. It’s nearly noon. Why are you still lounging around in your robe? After such a glorious event I’d think you and this Erich would be trying to contact Harry again.
So, Gail had been paying attention over the last year. Her prediction was good, but the picture she painted of the two of them trying to call forth Harry didn’t thrill Bess, it made her sad.
She only had to think about the man she’d spent the previous night and morning making love with to reconfirm her decisions. “There isn’t going to be a séance. I let excitement get the best of me last night. I’ve thought about it now and decided there is no need. Harry kept his word and showed me death was escapable, and I’m going to leave it at that.”
Gail’s mouth dropped open, and her eyes bulged. “Don’t be ridiculous. You know that wasn’t Harry’s intent.”
Resurrecting Harry Page 20