“I forgot to ask, did I leave my phone here?” He’d had it in his pocket Saturday night at the ball, but hadn’t seen it since.
“You did. Sorry I forgot to mention it sooner. I found it under my bed when I was cleaning earlier. I’ll grab it for you.” She left the room and returned with his cell.
“Thanks.” Glancing at the screen, he had several missed calls and texts from his father and brother. Shit. Had something happened? It was too late back home to call his dad, but he could wake up Otis.
“Is everything okay?” Rowan asked.
“I don’t know. I need to call my brother.” He tapped the screen and waited for his brother to pick up.
“Hey, Theo. About time I heard back from you,” Otis said, his voice groggy from sleep.
“I misplaced my phone. What’s going on? Is Dad all right?” Theo kept eye contact with Rowan as he spoke.
“That depends. Did you read his texts?”
“No, I rushed to call you instead. Talk to me already.”
“You’ve made international news with your new lady love, and Dad is pissed,” his brother said, sounding more awake now.
“Back up. What are you talking about?”
“You and a hot brunette in a red dress playing tonsil twister. I take it she was your reporter?”
Theo squeezed his eyes shut. Damn it. The paparazzi Saturday night had taken pictures of him and Rowan. At the time, it hadn’t occurred to him the photo would make the news. He explained the situation to Otis, who told him he was an idiot not to have Hawk with him at all times. His brother didn’t get it, though. Marietta wasn’t that kind of place. “Is Rowan’s name mentioned?” He met her wide eyes.
“What fun would that be? It’s much more interesting to speculate and make crap up. And besides, there’s no clear shot of her face.”
“They left your name out,” he told her.
“She’s there with you?” Otis asked, surprise and curiosity in his voice. “Want to tell me what’s going on? You sounded awfully relieved and smitten just now.”
“Later,” Theo said firmly. “How upset is Dad?”
“Upset enough that he wants you home yesterday.”
Theo scrubbed a hand down his face. “And if I refuse?” He wasn’t ready to leave his grandparents. Wasn’t ready to leave Rowan.
“Said the good son only once before. You must really like this girl. Tell you what, I’ll do what I can on my end since I know you wanted to be there for Christmas, but Dad…”
“Dad what?”
“He’s really feeling your absence, and Christmas Day is going to be tough on him given it would have been mom’s fiftieth.”
Something must have shown on Theo’s face because Rowan reached across the table and placed her palm atop his, then rubbed her thumb across his skin.
His chest ached for the loss his family had suffered and for the loss he’d feel when he said goodbye to his grandparents and Rowan.
If there was ever a time for a Christmas miracle, it was now.
“I’ll call Dad in the morning,” Theo said.
“Good. Touch base with me afterward, okay?” The sound of Otis yawning came across the phone line.
“Yeah. Go back to sleep. Sorry I woke you.” Theo signed off and put his phone on the table, his thoughts spiraling in a million different directions.
Rather than ask him any questions, Rowan stood and straddled his lap. She framed his face in her soft hands, looked deep into eyes, and kissed him. The gentle press of her lips turned into a wild tangle of tongues when he swept his hands all over her body. He couldn’t keep his hands to himself when she was near. And right now, he needed to forget.
They kissed for a long time, and Theo sensed this might be the last time they held each other like this. He deepened the kiss. When they needed to come up for air, Rowan put her hands on the nape of his neck. From her pained expression, he’d swear she was about to tell him good-bye.
“I’ve never put my heart in someone else’s hands,” she admitted, a nervous edge to her voice. “But it’s in yours and I don’t like losing control like this, so please don’t say anything, just show me that maybe you feel the same way, too, before you…”
Leave.
Whether he liked it or not, stayed the ten more days or left tomorrow, this was goodbye. There was so much to say to her, but she’d asked him not to. He sealed his mouth over hers, lifted her into his arms, and carried her to the couch in the other room where he could make love to her alongside the glow from the tiny white lights on the Christmas tree. You own my heart, too, Rowan Palotay.
And he feared she always would.
Chapter Thirteen
Rowan couldn’t get last night out of her head. The way Theo had worshipped her body had definitely felt a lot like…more than just sex. But then, it had never felt just like sex between them. They’d gotten to know each other really well before they’d even shared their first kiss, and that foundation made intimacy between them that much stronger. As soon as she’d confessed he had her heart, though, she’d wanted to swallow back the words. Say, “kidding!” and have a food fight or something. Because how ridiculous was that? He had a life far away from her small town. But he’d kissed her, taken her in his arms, and laid her on the couch next to the Christmas tree, and she forgot about her unease.
Forgot about everything except the two of them. When he quietly dressed and left, she blinked away the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. She only cried at weddings. And during that television commercial where the boy was throwing out the first pitch at a baseball game and the catcher turned out to be his father who was stationed overseas and wanted to surprise his son. Tear jerker, that one.
After she’d gotten her emotions under control, she’d hopped on the Internet to check out the damage she’d caused. Photos of her and Theo kissing in the lobby of the Graff were everywhere, along with speculation and not-so-flattering headlines.
No wonder Theo’s dad was upset. Not exactly the type of images he’d want circulating only weeks before announcing his son’s engagement. To another woman.
To the right kind of woman. Not Elisabeth, but someone else royal and beautiful, no doubt.
Rowan wasn’t under any delusions. She knew what she and Theo had didn’t include a happily ever after. But that hadn’t stopped her from falling for him. And it didn’t help the sting of feeling like she’d made another mistake. This time hurting someone she loved. Theo’s eyes had been tortured as he spoke to his brother, and she hated that so, so much. As close as Theo had been to his mother, he was loyal and faithful to his father, too, and he’d inadvertently hurt him. Because of his involvement with her.
Thankfully, she didn’t think anyone in Marietta had seen the pictures since no one had mentioned it. Standing in her parents’ kitchen for the last two hours baking gave her mom and Cassidy ample time to bring it up, and they hadn’t.
Then again, they knew her well enough to know she was beating herself up over the situation all on her own. The only saving grace was her name hadn’t been included.
A dish towel hit Rowan in the face.
“Hey!”
“Earth to Rowan,” Cass said good-naturedly. “You’ve rolled out that dough to oblivion.”
Rowan looked down. Yep, she had. She put the rolling pin aside and patted the sugar cookie dough back into a disc.
“How about I do that and you just decorate? You are the one with the awesome art skills.” Cass slid the parchment paper with the dough away and put one of the wire racks with cooled cookies in front of her. This batch was shaped like snowflakes.
“And while you’re doing that, spill whatever’s on your mind,” Ro’s mom said.
“You guys know what’s on my mind.” She grabbed the white icing. “But let’s change the subject.”
“We haven’t yet started on the subject,” her mom said.
Silence filled the room. Ro had enough of the subject in her head to keep them on it for days. But she
wasn’t ready to discuss Theo yet.
So instead, she blurted out, “I want to paint.” She’d hoped the admission meant she could avoid talking about her love life, but she also wanted to get this huge, scary desire off her chest and see what her mom and best friend thought.
“Finally,” they said in unison.
Rowan lifted her head from her task to find both women with their arms crossed and warm smiles on their faces. She had no idea what her expression said, but the three of them were hugging a second later.
“Tell us more,” her mom said, stepping to the oven and pulling out two more cookie sheets. When Shari Palotay baked Christmas cookies, she made a lot of them. The house smelled like sugar and butter and deliciousness for days afterward.
“You think it’s a good idea that I pursue painting?”
“I think it’s always best to follow your heart. When you’re blessed with an exceptional gift that compliments your dream, nothing should stop you from going for it.” Spoken like the awesome mom Shari was.
“Why didn’t you ever say anything to me?”
“When have you followed any suggestion I’ve made? In fact, you usually do the opposite. You’ve been headstrong and stubborn since you were a toddler, and if something isn’t your idea, you rarely follow through.”
Rowan watched her mom slide each freshly baked cookie onto a wire rack as she let those words sink in. They were true. “So you’ve been waiting for me to come to the conclusion on my own,” Ro stated.
“Your father had to sit on me more than once to keep me from coming to the hospital to see you working on the mural and tell you painting was your passion, not writing.” She pointed the spatula in her hand at Rowan. “Although you are an excellent writer, too.”
“I’ve got a couple of contacts I could hook you up with,” Cassidy said. “On a lot of my shoots, we need something painted on the side of a building, or even some funky paint job done to a car. You could create a really cool niche for yourself if you wanted to, and keep writing to pay the bills until your new career takes off.”
Rowan braced her hands on the counter. Money had been one of her main concerns. Could she do both things and not starve?
“Okay,” she said. Simple as that, yet she knew it wouldn’t be easy.
Cass squealed. Her mom clapped like Ro had taken first place in a national contest.
“But let’s keep this between us until I figure everything out.”
“You know your father and I are here if you need any—”
“No. You guys have done enough. I need to do this on my own.” At her mom’s dropped head, Rowan added, “But thank you. I know you and Dad have my back, and that’s a good feeling.”
Ro’s cell phone chimed with a text, drawing her attention to the kitchen table. She walked over to read the message.
Hi Rowan, give me a call or text back when you have a chance. Thanks, Theo
She put the phone down and turned back around with no intention of calling or texting. She didn’t want him to know how much his leaving was affecting her, so she’d decided to keep her distance. Maybe that made her a coward. But she wanted to keep last night as her final memory because she had a strong hunch he’d be returning home in the next couple of days.
“Was that Theo?” Cass asked sweetly.
“Yes.”
“Making more plans?”
Ro shrugged. She usually told Cass everything, but this time, she couldn’t muster her usual indifference, which left her tight lipped for the first time ever. She’d give her best friend all the details later, after Theo had returned home and the ache in her chest wasn’t so sharp.
“Looks like I got here at the perfect time,” Nick said, walking into the kitchen and wrapping Cassidy in a hug from behind. He reached around her to steal a finished cookie off the counter.
“Hey, mister,” their mom said as he put the entire cookie in his mouth. “These are for Christmas Eve. I’ve got other cookies you can have now.”
“Sorry,” he said with his mouth full.
He’d done the same thing as a boy. Ever since Ro could remember, her mom had baked and decorated sugar cookies for Christmas. And Nick always took one when he wasn’t supposed to. She inwardly smiled and got back to decorating the snowflake cookies, but out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the affection between Nick and Cass as he “helped” her roll out the dough, and the happy expression on her mom’s face.
Family meant everything.
Theo felt the same way. Which was why he’d fly home to take his place beside his father and brother as soon as possible. Rowan could never fault him for that.
*
Theo jammed his fingers through his hair. It had been a long day. First, he’d called Elisabeth. She confirmed she was pregnant and planned to marry her boyfriend. Her parents were supportive of the change in plans. “What’s up with you and the girl in the red dress?” she’d asked. “Is she someone special?” Theo said yes, and asked about the gossip back home. “It’s nothing you can’t handle,” she’d answered. Which told him nothing.
Second, he’d called his father. His dad had a way of keeping his voice calm, but making it known he was unhappy as hell. Theo didn’t go into details about his relationship with Rowan. He did go into details about Elisabeth. They talked for a long time after that, discussing other marriage options before Theo managed to turn the conversation to the last Council of State meeting and his father’s acceptance of several invitations for upcoming exhibitions and anniversaries. His dad’s voice had turned decidedly melancholy then, twisting Theo’s stomach into a tight knot. The king was counting on Theo and Otis now more than ever to attend events with him.
Hoping to end their phone call on a happier note, Theo told his dad about Bea and David and the small town his mom had once called home. His dad sounded genuinely happy that Theo had taken this opportunity, but asked him to come home early. A lengthy conversation with Otis in which Theo reiterated the discussion with their father followed.
Next, Theo finalized arrangements for the bench being gifted to Marietta, grateful everyone could change the date of delivery.
Travel arrangements followed.
Two days. He had two days left in Marietta. That got him home in time for Christmas and gave him the opportunity to fulfill his promise to his grandparents: Christmas dinner, albeit early. And he’d be here for the small dedication ceremony when the bench was placed at Miracle Lake.
He laid his head back on the leather couch.
“I finally got Mabel to give me a smile. My work here is done,” Hawk said, striding into the sitting room of the bed and breakfast and taking his usual spot near the fireplace.
“I guess now would be a bad time to tell you she smiled at me last week?” Mabel Bramble, owner of the B&B, had a crusty exterior, but deep down, Theo suspected she hid a marshmallow center.
“Whatever.” Hawk put his legs up on the coffee table. “You look like you could use a beer. Or three.”
“Sounds like a plan. You buying?”
“Already have a six pack in the fridge. Thought we’d order burgers and onion rings from Grey’s Saloon to go with.”
Theo raised his brows. “Aren’t you the know-it-all?” Rowan had driven him by Grey’s, but that’s as close as he’d gotten.
“Kept myself busy while you did the same. Speaking of which, have you heard back from her?”
“No.” He’d called and texted Rowan to no avail. They’d sort of said goodbye last night, but it didn’t seem right to leave it at that. His fault. He’d walked out after the most intense sex of his life.
“You think she’s ghosting you?” Hawk said like that was something funny.
“I have no idea what that means.” Hawk loved to call him out on his lack of knowledge with American slang words and phrases.
Hawk waved his arm in the air. “It’s nothing.” He leaned forward, elbows on his knees. His expression turned serious. “But maybe she’s trying to tell you she’s done.”
Theo let out a deep breath. “Probably for the best.” Only it felt like the worst possible thing to happen to him. To never see her again. Touch her. Hear her laugh. His heart would never fully recover from the loss.
“How about I grab another six pack when I pick up the food?”
Getting drunk sounded a lot better than staying sober at the moment. “Now you’re talking my language.” Hawk was good people. The best. “Thanks, man.”
The next day, however, Theo sat at the large wooden breakfast table across from Hawk and said, “The next time you add a bottle of Jack to our beers, I’m going to have to fire you.”
Hawk laughed, not the least bit hung over this morning, the bastard. “Noted.”
Theo squeezed his temples, hoping to alleviate the throbbing in his head. Didn’t help. Eliza’s home cooking might, though. She carried two plates piled with gingerbread pancakes that smelled out of this world.
“Good morning, gentlemen,” she said. At Hawk’s request, she’d been kind enough to extend the breakfast hour from nine to eleven in order for Theo to sleep in.
“Morning,” he and Hawk said. “Thank you for the late breakfast,” Theo added.
“Since it’s just the two of you, it’s no bother. I am sad to see you leave tomorrow, though. It’s been an honor having you stay with us.”
“I’ve greatly enjoyed being here.” Theo gave her a smile, then dug into his pancakes.
After breakfast, he and Hawk did some shopping around town and drove to Miracle Lake to meet with the mayor and a few others to decide the exact placement of the bench so the snow could be cleared. The weather forecast called for sunny skies today and tomorrow, but the icy air kept their meeting brief.
By late afternoon, they were on their way to Bea and David’s house for dinner. As they approached Rowan’s cottage, Theo asked Hawk to stop. His reason was twofold. To see her and to pick up the painting he’d done.
His heart hammered inside his chest as he knocked on her front door. When she didn’t answer, he peered inside the front window. The white lights on the Christmas tree glowed, but other than that, the house looked vacant.
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