“Um, kind of,” Hannah replied. “I might have my eye on someone else.”
Nausea returned and I hurried into the kitchen for a bottle of water. Hannah hadn’t mentioned Declan lately, but that could just be because he’d been a little absent from our lives. Last I talked to him he’d made a breakthrough with his novel and I’d noticed the light on in his office mostly at night and not in the late afternoon. His typewriter was locked away in the hall closet, waiting to be presented to him in a few weeks.
I felt someone place their hand on my lower back and I nearly jumped out of my skin, dropping my water bottle on the floor. “Easy there,” Adam said, bending down and scooping it up. He tossed it into the sink and threw a hand towel down on the puddle of water, soaking it up.
“When did you get home?” I asked, blinking at him in surprise.
“Just now.” He kissed my temple. “I see Scott’s home for Christmas.”
I looked at the couch and found it empty. “Where did they go?”
“Outside. Are you okay? You’re looking a little pale.”
“I’m fine,” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing my cheek against his chest. “I just don’t feel all that well. Why are you home so early?”
“Believe it or not, this is the time I’m supposed to get home,” he said, pulling me closer. “Where’s the kid?”
“With your mom again,” I said. “Santa is at the mall and she wanted to take her and get her pictures done. I was going to go but I figured we’d do it together closer to Christmas.”
“Sounds good,” he said, pulling away from me and opening the refrigerator. He pulled out an apple and polished it on his chest before biting into it. “Know what I think?”
“What do you think?” I asked, leaning against the counter and watching him eat the apple. Only Adam could make such a simple motion look so attractive.
“I think we should let my mom keep her for a few extra hours so we can go out on a date.”
“A date?” I repeated, interested. “What kind of a date?”
“One where we get dressed up and go somewhere nice, maybe a movie after. One where this jerk makes up for being an ass on his girlfriend’s birthday.”
I smiled. “You’re not a jerk, but I’d love to go. I’m just going to visit with Scott for a little bit before I get ready, okay?”
“Alright,” he said, kissing me on the cheek before turning and heading to the stairs. “But if he tries to steal you again I’m not holding back this time,” he added over his shoulder.
“No worries,” I said with a laugh. “I’m pretty sure he has some co-eds up north to keep him busy.”
Adam stopped midway up the stairs and looked at me, affection gleaming in his espresso brown eyes. “Yeah, but none of those co-eds are Lainey Winslow.”
“I love you,” I said, the words coming from my mouth automatically. They didn’t require thought or introspection.
“I love you too,” he said and disappeared up the stairs.
I found Hannah and Scott on the deck, sitting on lounge chairs and talking. Or at least Hannah was talking. They glanced up when I walked through the door and Scott turned to Hannah, interrupting her mid-sentence.
“Hey Han, do you think you could give Lainey and I a few minutes?”
She pouted but relented, jumping off the chair and sending me a look before disappearing in the house. I didn’t take it personally. I knew how much she’d missed Scott.
I sat in the chair she’d been in and smiled over at him. “You didn’t have to chase her away,” I said.
“I did if I ever wanted to get another word in edgewise,” he replied with a chuckle. “I love Hannah to death, but when she gets going…”
“Trust me, I know. Living with her has been interesting.”
“Interesting is a good way of putting it.” He smiled at me again. “So how have you been, really?”
“I’ve been good,” I said. “Really.”
“Yeah? How’s Harper? I was hoping to get to see her but I guess I’ll just have to stop by again. I’m home for a month.”
“Good!” I said enthusiastically. “We’ll have to plan something.”
“Definitely.” There was a small pause before he continued. “So how are things with Adam? I noticed there’s no ring.”
I glanced down at my hand, the empty ring finger. “Nah, no ring yet,” I said. “We’re still getting settled in this house and everything.”
“Hm,” he replied. I looked at him but he was looking ahead, his face expressionless.
“How about you? Do you still talk to Emily?”
He shook his head. “Not so much. We broke up right before graduation when she realized I wasn’t going to give in and go to the same school as her. I have to admit it’s not too much of a loss. She’s a sweet girl but a little controlling.”
“Yeah,” I said with a sideways smile. “She wasn’t my favorite.”
He shook his head slowly. “It’s so hard to believe,” he commented. “Four years ago, you and I were together. We were fifteen and innocent and still just imagining how our lives were going to turn out. And now here we are and I’m in college and you’re practically married, living in this amazing house with a little girl. I never would have pictured this for us.”
“Neither would I,” I agreed. “Sometimes I wake up in the morning and still can’t believe this is my life. But I think I’m okay with that.” I ignored the feeling in the pit of my stomach that worried maybe I wasn’t completely okay with it. That maybe I wanted more and maybe I even deserved a little more. But there was no point dwelling on that now. Decisions had been decided, sacrifices made. And in the end I have a little girl I loved more than life itself. Which is why when Scott asked me in his super serious way if I was happy, I was able to honestly tell him “yes.”
Chapter 31
“You’ve got love interests popping up all over Haven,” Mason commented, stabbing the bowl of cookie dough with a spoon and prying some out. He slammed it on the tray and made a disgusted face.
“Quit it,” I said calmly. “And I don’t think you’re doing this right.”
“I’m a man,” he explained. “Men aren’t supposed to bake.”
“Oh okay, that doesn’t sound terribly sexist or anything.”
“It’s not sexist if it’s true,” he said with a grin. I couldn’t believe it was already the third Thursday of the month, ten days until Christmas. Mason had called me that morning in a panic, claiming Cynthia never told him he needed to bake Christmas cookies. I’d gotten Harper up, dressed, and out the door as quickly as I could. We’d been at Bella Vista ever since.
“In all honesty though, I think it’s cool Scott’s back. I’ve always liked him.”
“I think you met him twice,” I replied.
“So? He never cheated on you.”
I rolled my eyes and went to the refrigerator to collect more butter. We had a little routine going. I was mixing the ingredients and he was rolling them into balls and popping them into the oven. Surprisingly I was getting my end of the deal done faster.
“You’re really never going to let that go?”
“I’m really never going to let that go,” he confirmed, putting the last ball of cookie dough onto the tray and popping it in the oven. “What about Declan? You two seemed all hot and heavy for a few seconds and then you stopped mentioning him.”
“That’s because we were never hot and heavy,” I said. “I think you need to get out more, Mason. You’re starting to talk weird.”
“I’m cooped up in a house with cookie dough and an angry pregnant woman on bed rest,” he reminded me. “You try not talking funny after a few days of that.”
I nodded sympathetically. Cynthia had not only been forced to go on maternity leave at the beginning of the month, but she’d been put on bed rest as well. She was less than pleased about it and I could tell it was taking its toll on Mason. He liked to joke that she was driving him crazy, but I knew him well
enough to know he was really worried about her.
“We should make her something nice for dinner,” I suggested.
“Correction: we should order her something nice for dinner,” he said. “I am not forcing my beautiful, pregnant wife to eat anything I cook.”
“Declan’s a good cook,” I remarked, receiving an ‘I told you so’ glance in return.
“Shush,” I warned. “I have to go to the bathroom.” I wiped my hands on a towel and started to head towards the hallway powder room, Mason complaining from behind me.
“Oh come on, you’re pulling the oldest trick in Hannah’s book. Don’t think I don’t know.”
I grinned and ducked into the bathroom, frowning at myself in the mirror before doing what I’d gone in there to do. I still wasn’t feeling well and I could have sworn I was paler than usual. I took my time washing my hands and smoothed my hair back, reminding myself yet again that I needed a haircut. My hair was longer than it had ever been.
I opened the bathroom door and found Harper standing there, looking up at me expectantly. She’d been playing in the kitchen when we first got there but fell asleep shortly after lunch, so I’d tucked her into bed next to Cynthia. Now she looked wide awake and bored.
“What are you doing?” I asked, reaching for her hand. I was trying to teach her to not ask to be held so much, offering her my hand instead whenever I could. She wasn’t falling for it.
“Carry me, Mama,” she complained.
“Harper, we’re walking ten feet to the kitchen. Mommy is too tired to carry you.”
She pouted and stomped ahead of me. I’d considered myself lucky for the past six months, assuming she wasn’t going to go through a severe case of the terrible twos. Maybe she was just a late bloomer.
“Hey there,” Mason said as she threw her arms around his leg and plopped down on the floor next to him.
“She has Hannah’s evil gleam in her eyes,” he informed me. “Are you sure they’re not related by blood?”
“As sure as I can be,” I replied. “Knowing Dad, anything’s possible.”
“No comment,” he said, filling another tray and putting it off to the side. “Have you heard from him at all?”
“Nope and don’t plan on it. Have you?”
“Yeah, he calls about once a week. He keeps saying he’s going to try and make it back for Christmas, but I’m not holding my breath.”
“Good idea.” I bent down and stretched my arms out for Harper. She reluctantly walked over to me and I scooped her up, making both of us happy.
“Have you heard from Lila?” Mason asked. It was the question I’d been waiting for him to ask, yet dreading all the same.
“Nope.”
“And you’re not at all upset about missing her wedding?”
“Should I be?” I asked. “It’s the first I’ve heard from her in years, and she didn’t even bother to call and find out why I never RSVP’d. She obviously doesn’t care.”
“Or she’s scared to talk to you,” he reasoned. I opened my mouth to reply but my phone went off. Assuming it was Adam I slid it out of my pocket and opened the message.
Declan: Truth or dare?
I raised my eyebrows. This was the first contact we’d had in almost two weeks. I’d more or less assumed we weren’t going to be playing the game anymore. A part of me had been a little disappointed.
I shifted Harper on my hip and typed out my reply with one hand.
Me: No more tattoos.
His reply came within seconds.
Declan: No more tattoos. Does that mean dare?
I smiled to myself and wrote sure in reply. I wasn’t even positive it was my turn anymore, but I missed his attempts at making me act younger than I wanted to. I might hate doing the actual deeds, but his creativity was fun.
Declan: You and me, 7PM. Meet me on the side of my house not facing yours.
It sounded like a drug deal and for a split second I was worried he might try to make me smoke pot. It wouldn’t surprise me, considering most ‘normal’ teenagers did that. Hannah admitted to me once that she had a few times with Nolan. I’d yelled at her for it because I was still in big sister mode, but secretly it amused me.
“Yeah, the way you’re smiling right now totally disproves my point that you have love interests all over Haven,” Mason remarked. I looked up at him, surprised. I’d almost forgotten he was in the room.
“Shut up,” I warned, only half-joking.
“Shut up!” Harper charmed in, giggling like a maniac. My mouth dropped open and I stared at her, not sure if I should try and correct her. Mason burst out laughing and my resistance wore off as soon as my shock did.
I love my family so much.
Chapter 32
“I’m not smoking pot,” I announced, walking around the side of Declan’s house. I found him leaning against the wall.
“What?” He asked, laughing.
“I’m not smoking pot,” I repeated with a grin. “This is a drug deal, isn’t it?”
He raised his eyebrows, amusement written all over his face. “Not exactly,” he said. “But good to know for future reference. Come here.” He extended his hand and I hesitantly took it, letting him lead me to where a small shed sat.
“I don’t kill people either,” I warned.
“No? Well there goes the next idea.” He dropped my hand and pulled a key out of his pocket, unlocking the shed. My never-ending nausea intensified when I saw what he had stored there.
“No,” I said. “No way.”
“Way,” Declan confirmed, pulling out a helmet and tossing it to me. “I found this baby for dirt cheap on someone’s lawn and couldn’t resist. I knew it would make the perfect dare for you.”
“Please tell me you’ve ridden one before,” I said nervously, staring at the black gleaming motorcycle. I hated motorcycles the way some people hated sharks. While those people refused to get in the ocean in fear of being eaten alive, I purposely took different routes if I saw a motorcycle on the same road as me. They terrified me.
“Of course,” he said. “I’m trying to make your life a little more exciting, not kill you. Harper would never forgive me.” He slid his own helmet on and hopped on the bike, motioning for me to do the same. I stood where I was, my heart pounding wildly in my chest, pumping a mixture of fear and adrenaline through my veins.
The most surprising thing was that part of me actually wanted to do this.
I slid onto the bike behind him, awkwardly wrapping my arms around his waist, pressing them against his flat stomach. For once I was glad Adam was working over. Not only would he kill me for being alone with Declan again, but for risking my life while doing it. He wouldn’t understand and from his point of view, I wouldn’t understand either. I didn’t even understand from my point of view.
The bike started and I screamed. Declan burst out laughing and cut the engine, bending over and trying to control his laughs. “Stop,” I snapped, blushing and feeling a smile threaten to take over my lips.
“Sorry,” he muttered. “But seriously, don’t scream. I can’t promise I won’t drive us straight into the ocean if you do that again.”
“No promises,” I said and tightened my grip around him. He started the engine back up and this time I stayed silent, pressing myself against him as close as I could and glad I’d thought to wear my heavier jacket.
I didn’t scream. In fact, after a while I loosened my grip and straightened up a little, allowing myself to look around and take in the scenery. He didn’t go very fast, just fast enough for me to feel the wind whipping around us, blowing my hair back and chilling me to the bone. But it wasn’t an entirely unpleasant experience.
It felt like only minutes had passed when he pulled into the parking lot of the Haven Café, but I knew it had to be close to an hour. I squelched a feeling of guilt in the pit of my stomach, thinking of Harper going to bed without me tucking her in. But Hannah was watching her and when I left they were having the best time, watching one of
Harper’s movies and eating her favorite crackers. She tended to wake up around ten to go to the bathroom and I would see her then.
“I get dinner out of this too?” I asked, impressed as we slid off the bike. He took my helmet off of me and grinned at my hair.
“I was going to dare you to pay, but seeing what I did to your hair just changed my mind.” He smoothed it back for me and then promptly messed it back up.
“Whatever,” I said, pushing him towards the door. “I’m actually pretty hungry.”
“Same.” He opened the door for me and I led him to the back of the diner where Adam and I used to sit. I didn’t even have to look at the menu, knowing exactly what I wanted.
We placed our orders and sat there silently for a few minutes, with Declan folding the straw wrapper into tiny balls and flicking them at me. I flicked the ones that didn’t land on the floor back at him.
“So you’ve kind of disappeared over the past few weeks,” I commented.
“Yeah,” he agreed. “I get that way when I’m writing. Sorry.”
“It’s okay. I figured as much.”
“How’s school going?”
I flinched, wishing he hadn’t asked that question. “D’s and C’s,” I replied.
“Ouch.”
“I was an A student before I got pregnant, a B student for the most part after Harper was born. I seem to be getting dumber.”
“Not dumber, just busier.” He flicked the final ball at me and took a long sip of orange soda. The waitress returned with our food.
“Salad, seriously?” Declan asked, making a face. “I really didn’t think you were that girl.”
“I’m not,” I said. “I happen to like salad.”
“You don’t need to lose weight.”
“It’s not a weight issue!” I exclaimed. An elderly couple sitting in the corner turned and looked at me. My face turned redder than the ketchup Declan was covering his fries with.
“Calm down over there, Biker Girl,” he said.
“I will stab you with my fork,” I threatened.
“All talk.” He took a big bite of his burger, a piece of lettuce coming out of the bun and landing on his chin. I shook my head at him.
The Edge of Everything (The Haven Series) Page 13