“Well, I think I may have the stomach flu. I’ve been feeling pretty tired, and the last four days I’ve had really bad nausea throughout different times of the day. A couple of the days I’ve been sick, and I’ve had a few mornings of really bad abdominal cramps.”
“I see.” He started typing notes into the computer. “Anything else? Chills, sweats, aches?”
“No.”
“Autumn, when was the date of your last period?”
I thought for a moment. “Maybe five weeks ago? Should be here any day now. What does that have to do with anything?”
“Well, your symptoms line up more with pregnancy than the stomach flu.”
“That’s impossible. I had a miscarriage. I was told by you that it would be impossible for me to get pregnant again.” I could feel tears building behind my eyes as panic set in.
“Well, Autumn, doctors can be wrong. I think we will do some blood work and rule it out.”
I watched as the doctor filled out a requisition for blood work. I could feel the tension building in my chest. He scribbled on the form and held the paper out for me to take. I reached out with a shaky hand and sat there staring down at the form that had been presented to me. “Autumn, what is it?”
“This isn’t supposed to happen. I’m not supposed to be able to get pregnant.”
“Autumn, I’m not saying you are. I’m just saying that we should check. As I said, doctors can make mistakes. Of course, if it makes you feel better, we will make sure that you are on our high-risk list for the term of your pregnancy. If you are indeed pregnant, that is.”
“Why is that? Because I already lost a baby?”
“Yes. But let’s not jump to conclusions without knowing for sure that you are pregnant. If you get the blood work done today, the results should be here tomorrow, or at the latest, Monday. I can call you as soon as I see the results, and we will go from there. If you really want to know, you can go to the drugstore and purchase a pregnancy test. Now the lab is still open, so if you head on up to the second floor and get that blood work taken care of, there is a good chance it will be back tomorrow before I leave for the day.”
I walked with my head down out of the doctor’s office. Once I was away from the office door, I leaned up against the wall. My insides felt like they were quivering. I closed my eyes and tried to take a deep breath when my cell phone vibrated in my pocket. I wiped the tears from my face and grabbed my phone. Hunter’s name flashed across my screen, and that was when a wave of nausea came over me again, this time sending me running for the bathroom.
I hung the dress bag up in my closet. I still hadn’t responded to Hunter. Truth be told, I hadn’t even read the texts he had sent. Since leaving the doctor’s office, I felt that this whole relationship was now up in the air, and I was sinking faster into the same black hole that had taken me two years to crawl out of. I didn’t want to hurt Hunter the way I’d hurt Jason. I’d failed him, and I feared I would fail Hunter as well.
I could feel the contents of my stomach threaten to rise every time I thought about it. I didn’t even know if Hunter wanted children, which was a ridiculous thought—of course I didn’t know; we’d just started seeing one another. Not that it mattered. If I was pregnant, I was afraid it would end in the same manner that the last pregnancy did. Plus, after being told that I couldn’t have children, I had come to accept it, but now, to be faced with the possibility that it had been a mistaken diagnosis, well, I just couldn’t go through another heartbreak again.
I went into the bathroom and splashed my face with cool water. Looking at myself in the mirror, I made a promise I wouldn’t mention it to him, or anyone for that matter, until I knew for sure. And if I did decide to tell Hunter, which I probably wouldn’t, I would give him the choice of being involved in the baby’s life, but as for us, I would just end things with him. That way if I lost the baby, it would be me who must deal with the consequences, not him. I didn’t want to hurt him. It wasn’t fair.
We’d only had unprotected sex a couple of times. I still thought there was no way the doctor was right. It had to be the stomach flu; it just had to be. I threw another handful of cold water on my face and grabbed the towel next to the sink. As I looked at myself in the mirror, a funny realization came over me. I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and scrolled back through my calendar, carefully counting the weeks again and again. I’d been wrong. It had been seven almost eight weeks since my last period, not five.
My phone rang in my hand as I recounted for what seemed like the fiftieth time. I absentmindedly answered, my voice shaking. “Hello?”
“There’s my beautiful girl. I was just thinking about you.”
I shut my eyes tightly at the sound of the deep, sexy voice on the other end of the line, and suddenly, I just wanted to be wrapped in his arms. “You were?” My voice continued to shake while I smiled through my tears.
“Is everything okay, Autumn?”
“Mmm…yes, yes, it’s fine.” I sniffled.
He was quiet for a few moments. If I couldn’t hear him breathing, I would have thought he had hung up. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m good. What’s up?”
“I was just about to leave the office and was thinking how nice it would be to have you come spend the weekend me. I was hoping that you would come tonight and maybe bring your attire for the party. That way we could show up together.”
I wiped the tears from my face and cleared my throat. “Sounds wonderful.” I glanced down at my watch. It was already six. “I can be there around eight.”
“Okay, baby, sounds good. I can’t wait to see you.”
“Me too. I’ll see you soon.”
25
Hunter
The winter storm the forecasters had been predicting started shortly after I got home. The roads had turned into a horrible icy mess, causing the city to start closing some of them. I had left work as soon as I had called her, stopping at the store to pick up some items for dinner. I then came home and started preparing us dinner. Autumn finally arrived shortly after nine. I was never so glad to hear that knock on my door. After dinner, I suggested we crack open a bottle of wine, but Autumn wanted tea instead, so tea it was. We curled up on the couch and watched It’s A Wonderful Life. The credits had just started rolling when I pulled her closer to me and wrapped my arm around her. “You tired, baby?”
“A little.”
“Want to go crawl into bed?”
She turned and met my lips, kissing me ever so softly. As I pulled away, she nodded and sat up. I got up and grabbed our mugs from the table as she turned off the TV and shut the lights off on the tree.
“I’ll be there in a minute, babe. Go crawl in.”
I watched as she walked down the hall. I needed to tell her how I felt. I wasn’t sure how she was going to react, but I needed to get this off my chest. Carter was right. I put the mugs into the dishwasher and quickly cleaned up what mess was left in the kitchen. I closed the blinds, shut the fireplace off, and headed down to the bedroom.
As soon as I entered the room and my eyes hit the bed, everything that had been running through my mind completely disappeared. I had to do a double take. Autumn was sprawled out before me, in a very sexy black lace bra and panties that were sprinkled with hints of soft pink. I could feel myself hardening at the sight of her.
“It’s about time you got here,” she purred, twirling a strand of hair through her fingers. “I’ve been thinking about you doing very naughty things to me all night, especially when we were lying on the couch out there. I could feel you pressed into me.”
I walked over and crawled onto the bed, running my hand up her body. “Fuck, Autumn, you look fucking amazing.” I could barely stand the tightness in my pants I was feeling right now.
She raised herself up onto her elbow and ran her fingers along the waist of my jeans before reaching down and gripping my cock through them. “I want you. All of you, in me,” she whispered.
I leaned down and kissed her
as she unzipped my jeans. “Then take me, baby.”
I lay down onto my back and slipped out of my jeans and boxers. Just as I was about to get back on top of her, she placed her hands on my chest, pushed me down, and straddled me. Sitting up, I wrapped my arms around her, kissing her. With a quick flick of my fingers, her bra came undone. Slowly running the straps down her shoulders, I was finally face to face with her perfect tits. Her nipples were already hard and were calling to me. I sucked one into my mouth, while running my fingers over the other, gently pinching it between my fingers. She jumped as soon as I had done that.
“What is it, baby?”
“Just sensitive is all. Be gentle and go slow with me,” she whispered into my ear.
As I kissed her neck, she dropped her head to the side and let out a loud moan. I couldn’t wait any longer. I needed to bury myself in her. “Hold on, baby, let me grab a condom from the drawer.” I leaned over and went to open the drawer, when she placed her hand on my chest.
“Hunter?”
“Yeah, beautiful?”
“No condom. I like it better with nothing between us.”
She reached down with her fingers and started rubbing the small bead of wetness that had formed on the head of my cock. I really couldn’t take it anymore. I quickly ripped the sides of her lace panties, pulling them off her. As soon as she was exposed, I ran the pad of my thumb over her clit. She was already wet and wanting. I wanted to watch her come undone, but she grabbed my hand, stopping me.
She raised herself up onto her knees and took my cock in her hand. She ran the tip of it through her wetness and then placed it at her opening, sliding down until I was fully inside of her. I felt her body shudder and watched as her eyes closed and she bit her bottom lip. “Fuck, Autumn, you are so tight.” I sucked her bottom lip into my mouth.
Once she was used to having me this way, I lay back and reached down to start rubbing her clit with my thumb. I could feel her tighten around my cock as she rode me. Gripping her hips, I thrust up into her as she finally let go, letting out the loudest, sexiest moan I had ever heard her make. I could feel my release building so I thrust into her tight pussy a couple more times before I emptied myself into her. She collapsed on my body, breathing hard.
I took her in my arms and slowly laid her down, rolling her onto her back. I pulled out of her and headed to the bathroom to clean myself off. Returning with a cool cloth, I cleaned her as well. Slipping into bed beside her, I pulled her into my arms, resting her head on my chest. It wasn’t long before she fell asleep, but I lay wide awake, watching her sleep, thinking of how I needed to tell her tomorrow.
26
Autumn
I woke to an empty bed. Reaching over, I placed my hand on the cold sheets beside me. I could tell Hunter had been up for a while. I could hear soft music floating from the other room. I got up and put my T-shirt and yoga pants on and picked up the remnants of another pair of ruined panties off the floor. I really needed to stop buying lace panties for him. He loved ripping them off me. I found my bra flung over the headboard.
I took my time getting ready to go out to see him. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be sick and wanted to wait for the feeling to pass. By the time I had washed my face, brushed my teeth, and pulled my hair back into a ponytail, the feeling had somewhat passed. I walked down the hall and peeked around the corner. Hunter sat at the breakfast bar, shirtless, reading the paper and sipping on a hot cup of coffee. He was deeply engrossed in whatever article he was reading, so I leaned up against the wall and just watched him. I fought the tears building. I didn’t want to leave him, but I felt it would be for the best. I wanted to burn the image of him in my brain, so I would never forget the way he looked. I stood there for what felt like hours, studying everything about him, before I finally cleared my throat, letting him know I was there.
He looked up and smiled. “Good morning.”
I walked over, stood behind him, and wrapped my arms around his waist, placing a kiss on his bare shoulder. “Morning.”
“Let me grab you a coffee.”
“I can do it. Relax. Enjoy your paper. You looked deeply engrossed in that article.”
“Yeah, I was.”
“Well, sit down, relax, and read. It’s okay, I’m good. Let me refill yours.” After I grabbed his mug, he gave me a smile and put his head back into the paper.
Hunter had seemed off the rest of the morning. He was rather jumpy around me and oddly quiet all through breakfast and into the afternoon. “Are you coming down with a cold? You seem off today.”
“Nope, I feel fine. How about we take a walk before we get ready to head to the party?”
I was starting to feel alarmed at the change in his behavior. “Sure, okay.”
We headed out into the snow and across the city street to the park. The snow that had fallen overnight had amounted to more than I thought from looking out his condo window. Of course, everything looked different from the twenty-sixth floor. As we started walking, Hunter grabbed my hand and placed it through his arm. It was only four-thirty and already dark. The trees of the park were lined with white lights that glistened off the snow, creating a magical feel.
“Wow, it’s beautiful. I’ve never actually taken the time to ever walk through this park at this time of year.” Jason had never been a fan of Christmas. He was always focused on the cost instead of the experience. For me, that sucked the fun and magic out of the whole season, but like everything else, I had just grown used to it.
“It is. I love walking through here this time of year. Good place for me to unwind and calm my nerves,” he answered then grew quiet again.
“What’s on your mind?” I asked, gripping his forearm.
We had just walked by a city bench, and Hunter pulled me over and sat down. He brushed the snow off the spot next to him and patted the bench. As soon as I sat down, he angled his body toward me and took both my hands into his.
“I want to talk to you about something that’s been on my mind.” His eyes wandered down to our clasped hands, his thumb gently rubbing my hand.
I could feel a knot form in the pit of my stomach. I wasn’t sure what was coming, but I was beginning to think from how he had been acting today, it wasn’t good. I hoped I was wrong as we had the party to attend in a couple of hours. How could I face all those people if we had just broken up?
“Okay.” I swallowed hard. I really wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the words, but when his eyes met mine, all I saw was a warmth and happiness glowing in them.
“Autumn, this isn’t easy for me to say, so I’m just going to say it.”
“Okay.” I smiled. I could tell that this was hard for him.
“I know we haven’t been together long, and my intention isn’t to scare you off, but the time we have spent together has been amazing, utterly amazing. I feel so at ease with you and have since that first night we spent together. I honestly feel as if I have known you all my life. Autumn, I’m falling in love with you.”
His words frightened me and surprised me at the same time. Considering the circumstances of what I was going to be finding out, I knew for sure that I would crush him. Since I was expecting the complete opposite of what was just said, I tried hard not to come off as shocked, but I couldn’t help it. “What?” I gasped.
“What did you think I was going to say?”
“I don’t know. You have just been acting funny today. I was worried something might be wrong.” I laughed more to myself, tears falling from my eyes.
“Nothing is wrong. I was just nervous.” He leaned in and gave me a kiss, pulling me into him.
I could feel the reassurance in his kiss as I kissed him back and rested my head on his shoulder. We sat there for a bit, watching the snow lightly fall. He just held me in his arms, occasionally placing a kiss on my forehead. We were just about to head back to the condo when my cell phone rang. My stomach fell as I glanced at the screen. I prayed silently to myself that the answer I was waiting for was the one I
wanted to hear. “Give me a minute, will you? I have to take this.”
“Sure, go ahead. I can always use more time out here.” He smiled at me and sat back down on the bench.
I got up and stepped out of earshot from Hunter to take the call. I kept glancing over my shoulder at him, his eyes following me the whole time as if he were afraid I would disappear.
Hunter
I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I had felt so much anxiety, waiting to tell her how I felt. I was glad that it was out in the open now, but the fact that she didn’t say anything back was bothering me. I wasn’t going to rush her, and I certainly didn’t want to show her that it upset me. I knew she probably just needed time. She walked over to the tree across the walkway and stood there with her back to me, turning to look over her shoulder every once in a while to meet my gaze. My brow furrowed at the look on her face—a look of shock with lots of sadness. Then she would just shake her head like she was silently agreeing to something.
I wished I could hear what was being said on the other end of the phone. I watched as she covered her mouth with her hand, like she was trying to stop from being sick. When she turned to look at me this time, I could see tears in her eyes. Whatever was being said, it couldn’t have been good news. I silently prayed it wasn’t her ex. I would kill him if I ever laid eyes on him. He had hurt her so much, and all I wanted to do was repair her heart.
When she finally hung up, she didn’t turn around. Instead, she stood staring down at the screen. I could tell she was shaking. I wasn’t sure if I should go to her or wait for her to come to me, but when she put her hands over her face and the sobs shook her body, I immediately got up and went to her.
“Autumn? What is it?” I placed my hands on her shoulders, waiting for her to talk.
She kept her back to me for a bit, then finally turned and buried her face into my chest. Wrapping her in my arms, I held her tightly, assuring her I was there when she wanted to talk. She said nothing—just cried, her hands gripping my shirt.
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