The meeting room was full. The entire extended family seemed to be there. The men were huddled in a corner, deep in conversation. John and Dillon acknowledged her as she entered the room, but neither gave her a smile. They just stared for a moment before returning their attention to Dan.
She’d only left her room because of the gnawing hunger in her gut. The table had a couple of serving bowls in the middle. One was empty. The other had the last scraps of some scrambled eggs. Elizabetta was sat at the table next to Violet. “Help yourself. Everyone else has eaten, that’s your portion in there.”
Cassie took the only untouched setting and scraped the contents of the bowl onto her plate. She took a mouthful, closing her eyes as she savoured the taste. Delicious, she thought.
Across from her were the blonde sisters – Poppy and Honey. The younger one was whispering in the older one’s ear. She stopped speaking for a moment to check out Cassie, whispered something else and Honey collapsed in gales of laughter. So what if it was at her expense. At least she was a part of some happiness, even if she was the one being laughed at.
Violet was at the other end of the table, pushing her dinner around the plate with a fork.
“Sweetheart, you must eat,” Elizabetta said in a soft voice. She took her own fork and scooped a little up. “Will you eat if I do it?”
Violet shook her head, her long brown ringlets swaying from side to side.
Elizabetta emptied her forkful back onto the plate. “Why don’t I save this for you? You’ll be hungry in an hour.”
“No!” Violet slammed her cutlery down. “I’m never eating again. I want my mummy. I want my daddy!” A sob escaped her then a long keening cry as tears flooded down her cheeks.
“No sweetheart, don’t cry.” Elizabetta pulled the little girl close, stroking her hair with one hand and rubbing her back with the other. “Shush,” she whispered. “Shush-shush-shush.”
Cassie watched this, her appetite diminishing with each cry the girl uttered. Poppy and Honey had stopped their little jokes and watched silently. Even the men paused their plotting for a moment. Cassie’s food seemed so undeserved suddenly. What gave her the right to think they would ever want her here? Dan was right. She should not stay at the warehouse.
Someone was behind her – Maddy. “What happened was an accident. Don’t let yourself feel guilty.”
Cassie turned to face her. “That doesn’t give Violet her mother or father back.”
“You had no way of knowing anyone was there other than you. And starving yourself won’t make you walk any faster tonight. You’ll need your energy.” Maddy gave her a sad, sweet smile. “Besides, you never know when there’ll be more food around here.”
“Thank you,” Cassie mumbled.
“Go on, eat. Then you can help me clean up.” With that, Maddy grabbed the empty plates next to Cassie and left the room.
The next mouthful was hard to swallow, but after that, her body remembered how much it needed food, and before she realised it, the plate was scraped clean. Violet was still sniffing across the table, but the tears seemed to have dried up for now. Cassie picked up her plate and a few others and went out of the room. For a moment, she thought she’d have to check room by room, but then she heard the clattering sound of dishes and… singing? Cassie followed the sounds and found herself in a communal kitchen. Maddy stood by a large sink, washing dishes and singing happily to herself.
“Thanks,” Maddy said, then returned to her tune.
“That’s pretty,” Cassie said and unloaded her arms where another pile of dirty dishes waited.
“Grab a tea towel. No one ever seems to want to help out with the cleaning.” She gave a half-smile. “But dish duty gets me and my singing out the way.”
“Don’t know why they wouldn’t want to listen to your voice, it’s beautiful.”
“Aw, bless you. Aren’t you sweet.” Maddy was silent for a moment, the washroom quiet but for the sloshing of the water. “Come to story time tonight. It’ll be before the men – and you – leave on your mission. I sometimes sing then. Kind of my thing.”
“Story time?” Cassie let the suds drip off a plate before rubbing it with the tea towel.
“Mmm. We sit in a circle and talk about the past. Teach the kids a little history. Talk about the future. Dreams the kids have had, anything really. Just talk. It’s fun, you’ll enjoy it.”
Cassie wondered how Maddy would have any clue what she’d like, but now was not the time to be contrary. She was being invited into the group. Maybe they could learn not to hate her.
“I’ll enjoy listening.”
“Listening? Oh no. You have to give as well. We know nothing about you. Other than that game show and what you said there. I bet you’ve got lots of stories you could tell us.” Maddy finished off the last of the plates and started in on the cups.
A nervous chill ran through Cassie. Talking? In front of everyone? About what? Her life as a seamstress? About how her mother hated her? About the sweet moments she had with Pete and how his caresses changed her life forever?
The dishes were finished quickly, and Maddy and Cassie returned to the meeting room. Story time was about to start, and two spaces had been left for them. Maddy sat and patted the carpet next to her. Cassie sat and completed the circle. The men kept off to one side, now sat at the far end of the table, still plotting amongst themselves.
“I want to start!” That was Katherine, the teenager.
“Go ahead then,” Elizabetta said. She cuddled Violet in her lap. The child looked sleepy, with two fingers stuck in her mouth and half-lidded eyes.
Was she the leader of the women, while Dan led the men? Cassie turned her attention back to Katherine.
“I had a dream last night, a really funny dream. I think it’s because of what my gran used to tell me. She had all these stories of before, and what it was like when no one ever got hungry.”
There was a general sound of agreement from the circle.
“When she was a little girl, people could have loads of kids. Not just one, and they didn’t need permission. My gran had three brothers! Can you believe that?” Katherine laughed. “I can’t imagine that.”
Cassie felt her mouth drop. Her grandparents all passed away before her birth, and her parents never bothered talking about the past. The closest to a history lesson Cassie came was how she was one of the last children born before you needed permission, even if you planned to have just one kid. Her mother told her about how her one chance had been wasted. So many times, she lectured Cassie about her disappointment. Mother wanted a son, she wanted a civil servant. She got a girl who became a simple seamstress.
Katherine was talking again. “Anyway, she told me how there were fat people.”
“Like Bob Devine?” Cassie blurted out. She glanced about as the women and children all focussed in on her. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I’ve never heard anything like this. My parents didn’t talk much about the past.”
“Everyone can talk here,” Elizabetta said. “We meet like this every night specifically so we can all talk to each other. Interrupt as much as you like.” She gave Cassie a beautiful smile before turning back to Katherine. “Were they like Bob Devine?”
“No, gran said they were fat, really fat.” She puffed out her cheeks.
Honey and Poppy giggled at her.
Katherine crawled halfway across the circle at them. “They were so fat it was like someone had whisked up their insides until they were all big and fluffy. Now I’m going to whisk you two up until you’re all big and fluffy as well!” She pounced on them, tickling them until they both screamed.
“Stop, Katherine. Stop!” Poppy squealed.
“That’s enough girls, you’ll wake Violet,” Elizabetta said. The little girl had snuggled up into a ball, fingers still stuffed in her mouth, her eyes closed tightly.
“Come on, Katherine, do as you’re told.” Lucy, her mother glanced at Elizabetta and Violet.
“Sorry Betta
.” Katherine retreated to her original spot on the carpet. “But that wasn’t what my dream was about.”
Poppy and Honey both giggled.
Katherine smiled and said, “I dreamed about all the sugar they used to eat back then. I dreamed someone sprinkled some on my tongue. And I woke up with the taste in my mouth, it was that vivid.”
Poppy whispered something in her sister’s ear. Honey grinned. “Poppy says ‘yum-yum’!” Something else was whispered, and Honey turned to her mother. “Poppy wants you to tell Cassie about the big houses.” Poppy tugged on Honey’s sleeve. “And the big gardens. She wants you to tell about the gardens.”
Elizabetta nodded. “Sure, girls. I’ll tell the story.” She checked on Violet and then began, “Most of us live in flats. You see them everywhere. But in select places, there are still houses in existence, and they have enormous gardens.”
“Houses? Are you sure?” Cassie asked.
“Oh absolutely. Saw them myself with Dan. That was before I had those two.” She nodded in the direction of her daughters. “Politicians, mega rich folk, they live there. They have fruit trees in their gardens. They even have specially assigned gardeners to tend them.”
“Wow.” Cassie tried, but she just couldn’t imagine it.
“It’s true, I’ve seen them as well,” Maddy said. “They live in luxury you really have to see for yourself to believe. They’ve even got gates to keep us common folk away.”
Cassie raised her eyebrows. “Really?”
“Really,” Maddy replied. “What about you, you can’t sit here and not tell us something.”
Cassie shook her head. The heat was rising in her face. She took a deep breath and tried to slow the blush.
“We’re all friends here, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Just say what you want.” Maddy puts a hand on Cassie’s knee. “We really do want to know about you.”
“Um, okay…” Cassie stared at the floor. “What should I talk about?”
“You have a son?” Elizabetta prompted. “Tell us about how you came to have him?”
“Yes, tell us about your baby boy,” Lucy said. “We like to hear things like that.”
“Well, I met a man in the queue for my weekly rations. We did things…” she glanced at the girls, “we shouldn’t have, and I had a baby boy. The police found out and took him from me. They told me to go on The Ultimate Choice or they’d recycle Jack.”
There were a number of gasps.
“It’s the men, isn’t it. Always out to get us women.” Lucy nodded. “And these men of ours. What are they doing taking Cassie along with them?”
Elizabetta shook her head minutely; her eyes wide and set on Lucy.
“The men do what they think is best,” Elizabetta said.
“But I don’t think it’s right.” She turned on Maddy. “Do you think it’s right?”
Cassie watched as the ladies grew obviously uncomfortable.
“That’s enough.” Elizabetta’s voice had a hard, final tone. The kids looked at her and then Lucy. What was going on? Premonitions about bad things came back. She wasn’t going to be a simple watchman. Something deep inside her was sure worse things would happen before this night was done.
“I think we should let the men worry about those kinds of things,” Maddy said, her eyes did not leave Lucy. “They’ve kept us here, safe for years, haven’t they?” There was an awkward pause then she asked, “Cassie, what happened after you escaped?”
What is going on, Cassie thought. Best play along. She said, “That’s it really. I ran from the show and was helped by a man called Elijah.” She tried to keep her voice even as she mentioned him. “And then I found the greenhouse.” Guilty feelings flooded her. “And I am so sorry about what happened – to your people. I never meant to hurt anyone. I was just so hungry…” Tears were threatening.
Maddy put an arm around her. “It’s okay, really. We understand, don’t we?”
Cassie blinked hard and watched as the others nodded.
Lucy patted Cassie’s knee. “You didn’t mean to do it. It’s not like you knew anyone was there.”
Poppy whispered in her sister’s ear. Honey nodded and said, “I agree. You don’t know how to tell a story, do you?”
“Don’t be rude,” Elizabetta frowned at her daughter. “Cassie has never told a story before. She just needs practice. And the right encouragement.” She thought for a moment. “And perhaps the right question. How did you meet your mystery man? Tell us your thoughts when you first set eyes on him, your feelings. How he wooed you enough that you had a son by him.”
“You make it sound so beautiful. It really wasn’t like that.” Cassie pictured him in her mind. It was all such a long time ago, his image was fuzzy.
“Then tell us how it was.” Elizabetta stroked Violet’s hair and watched Cassie as she tried to work out what to say.
“We met at the food distribution centre. We had the same day and time slot. I noticed him straight away. He had this long jet black hair and amazing eyes. I almost missed my turn that first time. He was that distracting.”
There were a couple of laughs from the adults. Honey giggled and elbowed her sister. Poppy made kissy faces back.
The memories came flooding back. “The next week he somehow took the spot immediately behind me. We didn’t talk, but I could feel him back there. Like there was an electrical charge running between us. The week after, and he got the place behind me in the queue again. But this time he said hello.” Cassie had all but forgotten about those first days. More than a year had passed since that first time they spoke. “His name was Pete, and each week we’d speak a little more. Then one day, he walked me back to my flat. This became the routine. Men aren’t allowed in my block, so I never invited him back up.” Cassie let out a short laugh. “Or should I say I only let him up once, and actually, he wasn’t even invited. He snuck in after me, and as I fumbled with my key, he grabbed me from behind.” Cassie stared wistfully into the air. “I screamed and dropped all my supplies. He was really apologetic, and picked everything up. I let him into the flat just to put the food on the table…” Cassie took a deep breath. “But that electric thingy was as strong as it had ever been, and let’s just say, he stayed a while.”
Someone gasped. Cassie thought it might have been Maddy, but Cassie wasn’t in the circle with them anymore. She was away, back to that moment, to the one and only time she was with a man.
“I know I shouldn’t have. And by the time he left, I had a baby in my belly.”
“That means she had sex. Isn’t that right, Mummy?” Honey asked.
Elizabetta nodded. “Yes dear.”
“I avoided Pete after that. We didn’t have a licence for a relationship, let alone permission for sexual relations. I’d never had regular periods, but after that night, they stopped altogether, and about four months later, I noticed my stomach was hard and a little bit swollen. It’s then that I guessed.”
“You should never have needed to go through anything like that. Why shouldn’t we be allowed to have babies?” Lucy was incensed. “It’s not right.”
“That’s what we believe here – the right to life. The right to bear children. The right to life for everyone.” Elizabetta had her colour up. “Suicide should not be legal, let alone encouraged, and the death penalty should be like it was in the olden days, reserved for the harshest of crimes. Not for simply having been found on the street at the wrong time of day. They use any excuse they can find to stick that needle in you.” Violet stirred in her arms. “Did you know the police get food bonuses for each citizen they murder? Urgh. It makes me so angry!”
“So what happened after you figured out you were pregnant?” Maddy asked.
Cassie thought back. “I covered up for a long time, and when my bump grew too big, I claimed depression, and asked for home deliveries.”
“Really? They do that now?” That was Elizabetta.
“They do. You get six months. If you’re still unwilling to leave
your flat, even if you’re doing all your work, you have to elect for suicide.” Cassie crossed her arms.
“They shouldn’t be allowed to do that either.” Lucy shook her head. “I don’t know what this world is coming to.”
“Keep going,” Elizabetta prompted. “This is fascinating.”
Cassie shrugged. It was just her life. Maybe they were bored with all the same stories. “I figured I was about six months along when I chose to stay at home. I made all my deadlines for the clothing I produced, and promised the delivery man I’d think about leaving the flat next week. Every time he came, I’d say the same thing, until he’d say it with me.” She stopped for a second. “I wonder if it was him who dobbed me in. Or if it was the lady next door. Or that busybody in the flat across the street. None of them should have told. They should have just let me be.” Tear built up behind her eyes, stinging, painful along with the memories. “Sorry,” she said as she wiped away a tear.
“Don’t worry about it. We’re all friends here, aren’t we?” Maddy gave her a brief hug.
“How did you manage with the end of the pregnancy?” Elizabetta asked.
“I gave birth by myself. Didn’t make a single sound. Jack was such a good baby. He made a small cry, and then I put him straight on my breast. I don’t know how I knew to do anything. It was all kind of on instinct.”
All the women were mothers here, and they nodded in agreement.
“A few days after he was born, the police bashed down my door. They literally ripped my child from my breast. The last thing I ever heard of him were his first proper cries.” Cassie wrapped her arms around her knees. The sound of his wails, his terror, filled her head.
“Ladies, time to break it up.”
Cassie jumped as Dan spoke from behind her.
“Let me take you to where your pack is.” Maddy got up from the floor. “I added a couple of things. I’ll show you what I did.”
Cassie caught Dan narrowing his eyes at Maddy. Then the other woman had her by the hand, and they were in the hallway most of the way to the kitchen.
The Ultimate Choice Page 12