by Shay Hunter
He exhaled, his mood now stiff. “She’ll be alright. I had to put out five thousand dollars in liquor because that faggy mothafucka she rolls with robbed me. I told her she couldn’t dance tonight and Mo’s use to getting what she wants. It ain’t happening this time.”
“I’m surprised to hear your relationship is changed. I always thought you two looked good together.”
He stood up and I felt I said something wrong. “Spy, why here? Why this club?” He paused. “Is it to get at Mo? For all the bad things she said to you? Because if that’s the reason you should leave. It’s the wrong way.”
“No…I dreamed of dancing here. I remember when Carlita and Mo use to come home, sometimes with large coats hiding their dancing outfits, I thought they were glamorous. And I wanted the same thing for me.” I exhaled. “But now that I’m here, I feel there’s another reason I’m drawn to this club.” I looked at him and then away.
What am I doing?
“Spy, with the talent you have it doesn’t have to be wasted in this place. If you want to be here I support that but I want you to know where I’m coming from too. If at anytime you decide to leave, I’ll hold your hand and help you down.”
****
I danced off three songs and there was more money falling out of the sky than I knew what to do with. With all of the attention I was receiving I felt on top of the world, and at the same time, a feeling I wasn’t willing to acknowledge existed.
What if Poe was right? What if I wasn’t supposed to be living like this?
When I looked across the room I noticed him staring at me. And when I gave him eye contact he looked away. He did that often. I knew it was wrong to be playing the eye game with him but it didn’t stop me from thinking about our life if he gave girls like me chances.
I was finished my set and was about to get off the stage so Ohio, a white girl with pretty good butt injections, could dance. But everyone was calling for me to stay and when I looked at Poe he nodded with approval. Turning around to Ohio I said, “My bad, they want me to—”
“Do what you gotta!” She threw her hand up and stormed off.
I shrugged, and stayed on the stage until every wallet was empty.
****
When I walked outside of the club Carlita was waiting in the truck. She unlocked the door and I slid into the passenger seat. She was smiling widely and didn’t seem as dark as she had in the past. “Well…how did it go, cousin? And don’t leave out one detail!”
I thought about my night and opened my purse, revealing a stash of cash. It was so full I could barely close it. “With the money I made tonight I think I’m done. It’s more than enough to help Reggie with the wedding.”
She frowned. “Done?” Her expression was heavy with disappointment. “Why you say that?”
“All I wanted was to see if I could do it and collect a little cash. I’m done now.” I sighed. “Plus if I stay, I think I’ll get into another kind of trouble.” Poe’s face flashed in my mind.
She shook her head as if she disapproved. “Spy, at first I wasn’t for this but now I see how excited you are. Maybe you should hang in there a little longer. Have some fun.”
“It’s worse than that, Carlita.” I thought about Poe and my developing feelings for him. “I don’t want to disrespect Reggie. I don’t want to disrespect our wedding more than I have already. Plus what if one of his friends walks in and sees me.”
She waved me off. “Girl, me and you both know that boy ain’t got no friends.” She paused. “I think you should stay for a few more months until you get it out of your system. This is your time to shine and Reggie is gonna have to understand.”
I looked out of the window at the Skeezers sign. “Are you sure?”
“I’m positive.”
I sighed. “Well even if I do stay I’ll get my cycle in a few days. I won’t be able to dance anyway.”
“If you don’t bleed heavy all you gotta do is cut the string off the tampon. You’ll be fine.” She exhaled. “Anyway before we leave I have to use the bathroom. But think about what I said. You didn’t come this far to dance one night. Have a little fun and I’ll tell you when it’s time to stop. Don’t worry, you can trust me.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
CARLITA
After I used the bathroom, which I forced myself to do since I didn’t really have to go, I made sure to run into Poe. “Oh hey, how you been?” I asked hugging him as he gripped me back. “I don’t know why I didn’t think you were here tonight.”
“Where else would I be?” he joked. He released me.
“In L.A., heard you been spending a lot of time there.”
“Yeah, I’m back and forth a lot.” He nodded. He seemed heavier than he was before he got with Mo and I knew she was driving him insane. “You taking care of yourself?”
“I’m good, considering everything I had going on.” I thought about Wisdom and my heart ached. It didn’t make things better after realizing that everything that happened was Mo’s fault.
“Yeah, I still can’t wrap my mind around the shit with Wisdom either. I fucked with dude.”
I shrugged. “Me too but maybe he wasn’t for me.”
He looked into my eyes. “So you believe he did it?”
I nodded yes. “Why, don’t you?”
He cleared his throat. “So what brought you here?”
“I’m taking Spy home, she’s out in the truck.” She smiled. “I don't know what you’re doing in here but you have her on cloud nine.”
He smiled but wiped it away. “That girl not thinking about me.”
I looked into his eyes and saw something I didn’t see before. He liked her. He probably always had but nobody could see it because of Spy’s body shape. Who could see someone as fine as him with her? “I wasn’t going to tell you this but she has something for you.”
His head leaned toward me and he pointed to himself. “What you talking about? She hardly ever said two words to me. Not even when we were in high school when I asked her to the prom.”
My jaw dropped because I remembered that day but my recollection was from another point of view. “Wait, you asked Spy first or Mo first?”
He chuckled. “I always, always, looked at Mo as a friend. I love her I can’t lie but back then it was never like that between us. When I decided to go to the prom I wanted to go with Spy but she shot me down.”
I was trying to hide the shock but it was heavy. If Spy had one clue that this man wanted her I’m certain she would not have been with Reggie. “I don’t think she knows that you wanted her to go to the prom.”
“Why? I asked her.”
“Right after you asked I remember Mo telling her that you only asked due to charity. Because you felt bad for her or some shit like that.”
“But Spy wasn’t even big back then. She was as beautiful back in the day as she was when she gained the weight.” He scratched his head. “This shit fucks me up. Don’t know why that girl gotta be so evil.”
“I’m just telling you what Mo told Spy,” I said.
He laughed but I could tell he was angry. “That’s Mo for you.”
“Exactly, the sad part is Spy has a thing for you. If only you weren’t with Mo things could’ve been different.”
“Wait, she told you that?”
“Yep.” I looked dead into his eyes. “Just now but she doesn’t want you to know. So you have to keep that between us.”
He seemed frustrated. He ran his hand down his face and sighed. “Look, I have to get back home, plus Mo’s here somewhere lurking. She was off today and came by to get something out her dressing room. That was five hours ago.” He walked closer. “But do me a favor, keep this info between us. I don’t want to have a conversation with Mo about this later.”
“You can trust me.”
He kissed me on the cheek and walked away. And since my plan to destroy Mo was coming together better than I could have imagined, I decided to go into her dressing room and fuck with her a little b
it. When I walked inside she was standing up, angrily stuffing some hair products in her black Celine bag. “Are you okay?” I asked.
She turned around and walked toward me. “Any ideas yet? On getting rid of that bitch?”
“What bitch?” I wanted to play games although I knew exactly what she meant.
“Spy’s ass! I heard she made more money than me tonight! And since it’s obviously some fluke shit I don’t want her thinking she can do this type thing every night.”
“You know she’s out front of the club, waiting on me right?”
She rolled her eyes and walked away. “I thought you hadn’t spoken to her.”
“That was before you told me you wanted me to get her out of here. I moved in with her and everything to make sure the plan is perfect.”
“I don’t know about this.”
“Mo you gonna have to let me play this shit out. You can’t control everything like you’re use to. If you want my help I need you to back up.”
“I will.”
“I’m serious!”
“As desperate as I am to get that bitch gone I’m willing to do anything.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CARLITA
I was sitting next to Poe in Skeezers, watching Spy dance. I had my own plan in play but I couldn’t get over how good she was. I knew she could dance but after the weight I’m not gonna lie, I didn’t think she had it anymore.
She proved me wrong.
When I looked over I saw Poe staring her down and I leaned over to him. “She’s great isn’t she?”
He cleared his throat, pulled out his cell phone and pretended to be texting someone. “She’s good…not bad at all. She was worried at first but she’s a natural.”
I laughed. “I can’t believe you’re acting like I don’t know the truth. If anything you can trust me, we grew up together.”
“I can’t think about anything like that right now, Carlita.” He put his phone on the table. “Me and Mo had another fight and tonight I’m gonna tell her she has to leave my crib. And the club.” He exhaled. “I know it’s fucked up but I can’t deal with her anymore. We keep what we got going on and I may start hating her.”
I tried to hide the excitement in my face but it was hard. Mo had gotten Poe so fucked up that he was doing my dirty work. I had plans to destroy their relationship personally but he beat me to the punch. “Oh, Poe, I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?”
“Not for me but you may want to be there for your cousin.”
I tried to fake compassion for Mo but it was hard and I’m sure was coming across dishonestly. “I’ll try but we haven’t been the same since Wisdom and the rape. Truthfully I’m more concerned with your happiness.” I looked at the stage at Spy. “And hers.” I paused. “Because she’s really feeling you.”
He wiped his hand down his face. “This shit is crazy, Carlita. I don’t like doing things like this. At all.”
“You know she wants you. Me and Spy talked about it.” I lied. “The only thing is she’s getting married next month, Poe so if you want to at least tell her how you feel now is the time.”
He looked at the stage again but Spy was gone already and Ohio was dancing in her place. “I don’t know about getting too serious but I do want to clear up the stuff you were telling me about prom night. We were kids but still. I want her to know the truth.”
“So what are you waiting on? Tell her!”
“When?”
“Tonight…and I can set the whole thing up.”
****
We were on our third drink at Christian’s Steakhouse in Washington DC. I was having so much fun that I almost forgot that the plan was to drive nails into Mo’s coffin. We had eaten dinner, dessert and poured drink after drink down our throats. Through it all Spy and Poe laughed at one another’s jokes and touched each other softly while making points. Everything looked innocent but it was anything but.
Cheating and betrayal was in the air.
Since Christian’s was also a lounge, they were playing soft R&B music and I knew it was just a matter of time for them to play the song I paid for. A song I knew Poe couldn’t resist, “How Can I Love U 2nite”. The moment the song came on his eyes widened and I tried to look surprised. Like I hadn’t set the shit up and kept pressing the DJ out to play it every five minutes. “Hold up, you still love this song Poe?”
He blushed and tried to hide his smile. “Yeah, its alright.”
“Well what are you waiting on?” I nudged him. “Dance with Spy.”
“No, we can’t do that,” Spy interjected. “It would be too weird. He’s my boss.”
“I’m not your boss,” Poe said seriously. “I’ll fire you before you look at me in that way.”
Wow. He didn’t want anything fucking up this night.
“Look, we out having drinks and I know ya’ll both like the song. Hurry up before it goes off.” When they didn’t move I was getting frustrated. “Stop tripping. This is a no strings attached type of night. Enjoy it.”
“She’s right.” Finally he got up and extended his hand. When she rose too I wanted to explode.
Now the next part of my plan was about to take off. I waited for two verses of the song to play and quickly moved toward them. “Poe, I want another drink and the man says I need your credit card since the waiters are changed. Something about needing to close out the first bill.”
My statement was dumb but he reached in his pocket and I hoped my plan would work. Instead of handing me the card he gave me his wallet. I smiled, walked away and went to the counter. Out of Poe’s view I went through his wallet, looking for that one thing. And when I found it I tried to hide my grin again.
With the safety pin I eased out of my purse in my palm, I poked a whole through the condom wrapper. When I was done I placed it back and waited for them to come back. Since Spy’s period passed about two weeks ago I figured she was ovulating and hoped it was now.
“Have fun?” I asked them. I handed Poe back his wallet and he stuffed it in his pocket without altercation.
Spy was grinning widely while Poe was trying to appear calm. “It was nice,” she said. She looked at him. “Really nice.”
“Well that’s good. Unfortunately I forgot I have something to do tonight so I’m going to take your truck and leave.”
“Wait, how am I going to get home?” she asked.
“Reggie is out of town, let Poe take you.”
She looked scared. “I don’t know about this, Carlita. I’m already—”
“Spy, I wish you would relax! There’s absolutely nothing to worry about. All you’re doing is hanging out with an old friend. A friend you’ve known longer than Reggie. Nothing more nothing less. And what you gonna do, go home and watch Netflix with me all night? It’s stupid.”
She looked at me and then at him. “Well…I guess it’s okay.” She shrugged. “If Poe don’t mind dropping me off I’ll see you later.”
I got up and ran out before either of them changed their minds.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
SPYRELLA
I can’t believe I’m sitting in the front area of an Embassy Suites hotel room. I can’t believe I was sitting with him but at the same time being with him felt so right. “You were always a bully,” I said to him as I held another glass of Hennessy with coke in my hand.
He pointed at himself. “Me…a bully? Since when did I bully anybody?”
“When we were in school anything you wanted to do we did. Now I’m not gonna lie, you had good taste so I didn’t mind but still.”
“Man, I just wanted everybody to have a good time,” he laughed. “Plus when I asked ya’ll what the plan was nobody ever said anything. It was crazy being the only dude in our group.”
There was silence between us for a minute before I remembered Reggie, and my upcoming wedding. “I don’t know what this is, between us. I feel like I’m going down a street I’ve never been to before.”
“We’re just chilling, Spy. Lik
e I said in the restaurant I always wanted to spend time with you. And even though you’re beautiful now I thought you were pretty before you lost weight.” He looked at my body but not in a way that made me uncomfortable. “What did you do?”
“Threw up,” I joked. Maybe it was the liquor or maybe I wanted to admit that I had bulimia to someone. It just so happened to be a man I cared about more than I wanted to admit.
“You joking right?”
I hung my head down but remained silent.
He moved closer and placed his hand over mine. “Spy, you gotta be kidding me. Why would you hurt yourself like that?”
I was about to get him together because the last thing I needed was someone judging me. It’s bad enough that Reggie did all he could to sabotage my diet, so that I wouldn’t eat good food and now this. What I wanted to do with my body was my business and I was tired of making excuses. I had a lot of shit to tell him but the moment I opened my mouth I started crying instead.
I knew he was right about hurting myself but I was so deep into my process to lose weight that I didn’t know how I was going to stop. One moment I was living with Mo and Carlita being a fat housekeeper and the next I was dancing on the pole, my body better than it had been in my life.
How could I stop something that had proven to work?
As I continued to cry he held me not saying a word and I appreciated him for it. It took me about an hour to calm down before he finally spoke. “Spy, I’m not judging you. And I don’t know what you were going through to make you feel hurting yourself was the only way. But I can help you if you want. I can work with you to stay fit but please, please…not like this.”
He said the most perfect words. And for some reason I found myself in his arms. Although we were in the living room portion of the hotel we were on the floor. A few hugs and pulls and before long I was naked, his warm body on top of mine.
After putting on his condom he moved into my pussy and it was slow and passionate. At that moment I could tell that he liked me the entire time because he looked at me the same way he did whenever he would show up at the house. I just wouldn’t allow myself to see it.