by Jackie Ivie
“Would you be a-caring to assist me? I’d na’ say a word. I may even enjoy it.”
Elise choked on her reply. Then everything stilled as his words sank in. “You’re not bathing here.”
“Yes, I am. The moment you’ve finished.”
She couldn’t answer. It didn’t feel like her voice and her breathing would be available to her at the same time.
“Does this mean my arrangement is finally satisfactory? Or have you run out of words?”
“This is impossible,” Elise said from between her teeth.
“Only because you’ve made it so.”
“What did I do?”
“What did you do? Associated with a MacKennah. Bedded with my brother. Birthed him a male bastard! Denied my husbandly rights! What have you na’ done?”
“I know of no MacKennah,” she finally stammered.
“Yes, you did. You just dinna’ know it. Your maid? The dour one? She’s the reason you slipped your guards yesterday. Dunvargas dinna’ know of her leanings. He does now.”
“You didn’t see her dismissed, did you?” Elise asked.
“It’s na’ your concern.”
“You can’t do, and have, everything your way. I won’t stand for it! Have her rehired immediately.”
“What will I get in return?” he asked.
Elise caught her breath in surprise. She might as well have been outside, in the dead of winter, for the effect on her throat and chest. He wasn’t finishing with the lacing on her corset while he waited, either. He was running a knuckle of his hand up her spine.
“You’re abusing... my time, and—and... my good temper.”
Elise didn’t recognize her own voice stammering. It wasn’t the effect she’d been trying for. She frowned at what he might infer. Then he sighed, feathering the feel of it over her bare shoulder, and went back to her laces.
“I dinna’ have her dismissed, Elise. What do you take me for? I can only sack my own employees,” he answered.
“Surely Dunvargas has maids that aren’t associated with the MacKennah clan. Have one sent up.”
“And have a hand starting up the feud again? I’ll na’ have it whispered of. The Honor Guard knows why that woman is na’ attending you, but nae one else does. I gave out another excuse entirely.”
“What glib one did you devise?” Elise asked; her voice sounded like her usual bored, uninterested self again. She eased the frown from her features. “This should be interesting.”
“It is na’. I invented tales about love and having you all to myself. I added in that we’re but newly-wed and I’m unable to get my fill of your company. Bloody stupid of me, wasn’t it?”
“I’d answer that, but you already did.”
“Just think on it. I get to wait on you, when you could have been attended to by that dour maid, dressed modestly in your nightgown, and then sent off to sleep in a solitary bed, like a good little ice goddess. Instead of which, I get to receive the brunt of your arm’s-length personality. The papers were na’ succinct enough.”
“Perhaps you shouldn’t have read them, then.”
“In retrospect, I probably should na’ have,” he answered.
“You’re not to watch me. I won’t stand for it.”
“I’m to do whatever I wish with you. Have na’ you learned that much yet? You’ve nae reason to worry, though.” He’d put up his finger as she spun to face him. That was stupid, considering the corset fell to the floor at her motion. Elise had to cross her arms about her chemise. The flimsy material was her own fault. She should have ordered them in the thickest cotton, instead of filmy lawn. He was frowning enough for both of them as he finished his words, “The inclination fits my own.”
“This isn’t a good idea.”
“I’ve my fill of it, too. I’ve been denied so long, I’ve yet to decide which part of my anatomy aches the worst. Bloody hell! Forget I said that. Get into yon bath and allow me some dignity.”
He spun from her and paced to the farthest wall. Elise didn’t dare look to see what he was doing. She pulled the dress down and stepped out of it. She laid it carefully over a chair. It would be easier to pack that way.
She wasn’t as careful with the petticoats. She pulled them off as quickly as possible and tossed them to the settee, where they shimmered like a storm cloud.
“Must you dawdle?” Colin snapped out.
Elise walked to the farthest side of the tub. The fire was blazing, yet she was shivering. “You... you’ll need to turn aside.”
“Like hell I will.”
She lifted her chin. “Either turn, or I’ll bathe in my underthings. You give me no choice.”
He swore again, and she glanced over at him. His jaw was set, and he had his lips in such a thin line, they were nonexistent. “The count of ten. No more. Be modestly covered in that water by then.”
Elise watched as he swiveled his entire body sideways to her and faced the windows. There were no drapes at either window, but it wasn’t necessary. The walls were just shy of a yard thick. Elise knew it because she couldn’t reach the glass, when she’d tried earlier.
“Ten? I can’t do it that quickly!”
“I’m already on two,” he informed her.
Elise pulled down the pantaloons as rapidly as possible and shoved the chemise over her head.
“Why can na’ I hear water splashing?”
“Give me a moment! I’ve never bathed under such conditions as these. You’re making me quite upset!”
“That exceeds expectations, since you’ve a very good idea of what you do to me, and keep doing. And then make up reasons to continue to do it. Time’s up.”
Elise ducked so quickly that water poured over the side. She heard the sizzling it made as it emptied over the hearth and under the fire grate. The steam that rose dampened her hair and made it hard to breathe. It also effectively curtained her from Colin.
She didn’t waste any more time.
Elise wasn’t adept at washing her own hair because of the length. That meant it took longer than usual, but she couldn’t be faulted for that. The steam had dissipated as she rinsed. Colin wasn’t standing at the opposite wall anymore. He had turned one of the high-backed chairs about and straddled it to watch her. He wasn’t but ten feet from her tub, too.
Elise should have done her bath the opposite method. She should have started with her torso and ended with her hair. It didn’t help to chide herself, though. Colin’s hooded, brown gaze wasn’t moving.
“I still have to wash myself, Your Grace,” she said as haughtily as possible.
“I’m na’ stopping you.”
“Oh yes, you are. And quite effectively, too. I’ll not stand with you watching me.”
‘You’ve na’ other choice that I can see.”
“I’ll just stay right here, then.”
“You’d sit in that tub all night?” he asked, arching his brows.
“If need be.”
“You’re na’ that good an actress, Elise, and I’m not partial to cold water. You’ll finish, or I’ll join you.”
“What?” Her voice rose on the word, and he was right. She wasn’t a good enough actress to hide it.
“Now’s as good a time as any, I suppose.”
Colin started unbuttoning his shirt, and Elise stifled the cry before she spoke again.
“Why... are you doing this?”
“I’m na’ sure. Maybe I’m seeing how much I can stand, or I could be testing your denials. Either way, you’re losing time.”
He was shrugging his shoulders from his shirt, and it wasn’t a gentle motion. He had a garment beneath his shirt, and when he was occupied with pulling it over his head, Elise stood. She couldn’t face him. She watched the fire and soaped herself as rapidly as possible.
“Oh, Lord! Forget I said it. Forget—! Oh, hell.”
Colin’s words were garbled, and the chair slammed against the floor as he stood. Elise cursed herself for knowing that much. She hadn’t had to
look! She sank into the water and rinsed as rapidly as possible, upsetting more water onto the floor. It was his fault! He’d made her do it!
“Is ... there a towel for me to use, Your Grace? Or are you going to make me dry myself in front of the fire while you watch that, too?”
“You scheming, little—! Yes! There’s an almighty towel. It had better be large, too. Here.” Colin had his side to her. One hand was over his eyes and the other held her towel out toward her.
Elise watched as the arm holding her towel trembled. Colin couldn’t have disguised it. She pursed her lips in thought as she rose and stepped from the tub. She reached, then held the towel, but he didn’t let it go. Elise stood beside him and watched the droplets dust the stone floor at their feet. Colin was watching them, too. She could tell by the shudder that shook him.
He hadn’t gotten far in his own undressing. His chest was bare, but he still had full Highland wear below that. The hair on his chest glowed golden in the fire’s light, and she couldn’t tear her eyes away. She wasn’t the least bit cold, either.
“What are you waiting for?” he asked in a savage tone.
“For you to unhand my towel. I can’t dry without it.”
His answer was Gaelic, but she had her towel. He’d released it with a raw gesture, and then left his hand outstretched, with the fingers spread apart. She would have thanked him, but instead held her tongue. She unfolded the covering, but her fingers fumbled more than they worked. She’d never been so close to anyone in her entire life, yet she knew so little of it. Colin’s chest was turning red from the middle of it clear up his neck to his ears. Elise’s eyes widened.
“Take your towel and go to the farthest wall from me. Do it now.”
“But—”
“Do it!”
Elise backed away from him. It was colder the farther from him she moved, but the towel was helping; it was large, too.
“I will na’ take a woman by force. As God is my witness, I’ll na’ do it. Not even if you are my wife in the eyes of all men’s laws! Not even if you are a lying, unscrupulous, bed-hopping wench, with ice for a heart and thorns for a tongue. Not even if you are more woman than I can stand to watch. I’ll na’ take you by force. I swear it. Are you covered?”
“Yes.” She had to say the word twice before it sounded.
Colin removed his hand from his eyes and raised both arms to the ceiling. Elise couldn’t move her own eyes from the sight. The flush was receding from him the longer she watched. He had his breathing under control again, too. He lowered his head and found her.
“Doona’ watch me. I forbid it.”
“What makes you think I was going to?”
“Nae flippant words this time. I forbid it. I’m finding out things about myself that I doona’ wish to entertain further. This torment is over, understand?”
“Bathe yourself, Your Grace. Trust me when I tell you, I’ll put you completely from my mind the entire time.”
“Turn around, then.”
Elise did as he requested. Some past Dunvargas laird had smoothed plaster over this section of old stone, but it was uneven in places. She could tell where some of the old mortar had put the tower together. There were slight indentations in the plaster. She reached to trace one.
The splashing of water stiffened her back. Elise gasped, fought herself, lost, and then tipped her head to look.
Colin was standing with his back to her. He had a definite line separating where he was tanned from where he wasn’t. He had strength evident in every line of him, and the hipbath wasn’t deep enough to hide any of it. Then he turned sideways and raised one arm in order to soap himself.
Elise spun around and barely caught the cry. She pressed her forehead to the plaster and was thankful it was as cold to the touch as it was. Sweet heaven, but Colin was beautiful, and she had nothing to compare him with!
Sir Roald might have given her something to evaluate Colin against, had she asked it. It wouldn’t have changed what she’d just seen. Colin MacGowan was careful with his body. He practiced forms of self-improvement, and only once had she known him to drink to excess.
“You can return to the fire. It’s warmer.”
Elise peeked before she turned about. Colin was sitting on the bed, attired in his red, green, and black plaid robe.
“Your hair will na’ dry there. You have quite a lot of it, and it’s all that silvery color, even when it’s wet. Is that a family trait?”
“I have no family left with which to verify it.” Elise spoke as she walked to the fire, keeping the towel about herself the entire time. It probably outlined her, but that couldn’t be helped.
“You’ve a father, although I’m na’ surprised you doona’ claim it.”
“My father was dark, as was my mother. I didn’t resemble either of them. My sister did, though.”
“You’ve a sister?” he asked.
“I had one, once. She—she’s dead. She died... last year.” Now was the time to tell him, but she held back. If she did, there would be no escape for her, ever. There would be no abduction by the MacKennahs, no freedom, and from the exhibition she’d just watched, no possibility of an annulment, either.
Elise knew the shiver running through her was because of the last thought. Colin wasn’t a man to be trifled with much longer. He’d been disturbing her since they’d met. The fist-like mass was back, wrapping around her heart and keeping it thudding with squeezing pressure. Elise knew what it was: her destiny. She suspected her loss of freedom would be worth it, just as Evangeline had once said. Elise opened her mouth to tell him, but he filled the space with words himself.
“I’m sorry, lass. Here, I had this made for you.”
Colin was holding out a gray robe with rabbit fur about the edges.
“I’m not accepting anything from you,” she whispered.
“What are you talking about? Acceptance has little to do with it. You’re my property, and I’ll not have you catch ill. My guess is, the towel’s damp, and before long will be verra cold. Here, take it.”
“But—”
“That towel does naught to cover you. Do you wish me to force you? I get tired of reminding you of your marriage vows.”
Elise took the robe and turned from him. She’d find another time, and another way, to tell him. She still had tomorrow. “When do we reach Inverness?” she asked from over her shoulder.
“Why?”
She shrugged. “No reason.”
“You wish small talk? After the teasing I just endured with yon bath? You’ve a nasty wicked streak in you.”
“I’m not interested in small talk with you.” Elise tied the belt about her waist and let the towel drop. She heard Colin’s intake of breath. The robe was made of a slick, silk-like material and clung to each and every bit of her.
“What are you interested in, then?” he asked.
“Not what you are.”
“And what would that be?”
“You’ve had women before. Figure it out.”
“I’d rather hear it from your lips. Tell me you’ve nae interest in me. Tell me you find me unmanly and unattractive. Tell me why you won’t welcome me as your lover, damn it!”
“You had me gagged and treated like a prisoner.”
“I should have had you horsewhipped, except I’m na’ that inhuman, and it would mar your lovely skin. You’ve such delicate-looking skin. Soft. Tender.”
“Excuse me?” She was choking on the two words.
“You heard me.”
“I’m not discussing this a moment longer. I’m more of a mind to find my bed for the night.”
“Oh, your bed’s right here, beneath me. I believe I’ll be here, too.”
“This type of conversation is getting us nowhere.”
“Only because you let it. You ken exactly what you do to a man. You practiced it. Perfected it. You’re very good, too.”
“I’ll not sleep with you. Even with a bolster, I won’t.”
“We
will na’ be sleeping, Elise.”
Her eyes went their widest, and she gripped the fur lapel of her robe to her neck. “I—I won’t allow it, Your Grace, and you never force a woman, remember?”
“Kiss me. We’ll na’ need force.”
He stood from the bed. She would have backed away, except the chair he’d tipped over was in her way.
“Don’t come a step closer.”
“Oh, please, stop that. Stay the teasing. I’ve no inclination for going where I’m na’ wanted.”
“You’re not wanted. What are you doing?” The last of her question came out in a much higher pitch than she’d intended. She knew he’d heard it. It was in his voice when he spoke again.
“I’m stepping closer, and that robe was a splendid idea. It shows everything you’re keeping from me.”
“I’ve no idea what you’re referring to,” she said, and for once, it was true.
“Arousal. You’re demonstrating the signs. I’m reading them.”
She would have argued it, but he was too quick. Elise’s cry made it into the caverns of his mouth, but no farther. It wouldn’t have mattered. Colin’s groan would have drowned it out, anyway.
Her palms were crushed against his gold-embroidered crest. From somewhere in her mind, she registered the absolute size of him, the difference, the hardness, and the heat. Her entire body was on fire with it. With one hand he’d pulled her against him. The embrace from the hand on her buttocks was colliding with the sensation of his groin pressed to hers and making her forget how to think.
“Oh, Elise ... you’re so much woman, and I’m nae saint. I’ll na’ wait another moment. Open for me.”
Open? Open where? she wondered. He had the inside of her mouth enraptured, and she already had it wide open for air. “No ... I can’t. Colin—no. Please, no.”
“Pretend I’m Evan.”
Elise gasped as he nipped at the skin beneath her ear. Her mind wasn’t functioning. “Evan?” she asked.
“Aye, Evan. Tall like me, but much leaner? You remember. He was na’ one for exercise or work. You pretend and I’ll fulfill it. Fair?”
His words were getting harsher, and she couldn’t fathom why. He pushed the collar of her robe from her shoulder with his jaw. Then he was licking her skin. Then he blew on the skin he’d licked, making her use panting motions to pull in enough air.