by Jackie Ivie
“Don’t walk out on me, Colin MacGowan.”
“Say one thing to make me stop. One. Go ahead. Say it. Doona’ pretend. Say it.”
It was the hardest thing Elise thought she’d ever done. She went pink with the blush; then she past that and went red. She didn’t have to look at the mirror to verify it. The sweat beading her upper lip and then starting rivulets down her sides was enough verification. It was mortifying. It was dangerous. It was unavoidable. She opened her mouth and not one sound came out.
“Yes?” he asked, cocking a hand to his ear.
She opened it again. “I...” That word made sound, but it sounded like a little girl.
“I can na’ hear you,” he replied.
“All right!” She glared across at him. “I love you! All right! I said it. I love you! I wish I dinna’, because I hate it, but I love you! You hear me, you big, brutish barbarian! I love you!”
His lips settled into a thin line, almost the match to his eye slits. Elise had never seen anything so frightening. Her heart was hammering from her confession, and then trying to leap from her breast with his reaction. She clasped her hands to it to stop it.
“You still seek to play the courtship game? With me? And for no other reason I can see than my gold. I doona’ think there’s anything left to say.”
“I’m not playing a game!”
“Good thing, for only a virgin would play it so poorly,” he replied, with a snide tone.
“Well, maybe that’s because I am one!” Elise clapped a hand to her mouth, but it was too late.
She watched as his eyes went from their narrowed state to a certain frown as he stared at her.
“Nae,” he said finally.
Elise nodded. She didn’t think her voice worked.
He tilted his head to one side and considered her closer. He shook his head. “Nae,” he said again.
She nodded again. Now, she had both hands on her mouth and was pressing back on the certain cry as he crossed the room to her with seven large strides. He stood above her, heaving with the strength of his breathing and sending shivers all over her with the feel of air on her nose and cheeks.
There was something indefinable there, too. Something he was asking, searching for, debating. Elise kept her eyes on his. She didn’t dare blink.
He pulled back.
“Nae,” he said again.
She nodded.
His lips twitched. He spun. Elise watched with eyes that wouldn’t close no matter what order she gave to do that very thing, as he reached for the chamber door and opened it in seeming slow motion. She didn’t think she was going to be able to survive past the slamming of that door, taking him out of her life. And she had no one else to blame. She hadn’t had to tell him. He could have found out the same way every other man did—physically.
The humming sound grew in her ears. Elise moved her hands to them, instead, to keep it from getting out.
“Mick?” he yelled.
At least, Elise thought it was yelling, from the way the waves of sound penetrated across the floor and sought out where she was still standing. She was still standing? That didn’t seem possible. Elise looked down at the beautiful, maidenly-looking white day-gown, with the little blue forget-me-knots across the bodice, and she hated every bit of it.
“Aye, Your Grace?”
“Cancel the horses. I’ve changed my mind. And stay all from this chamber. The duchess and I are na’ to be disturbed.”
“As you wish, Your Grace. And Colin? Congratulations.”
There was more said. Elise didn’t hear it. The humming was covering it over.
And then it was gone. Everything went absolutely dead silent. The door clicking shut reverberated across to her, and then there was the sound of the bolt falling, which was louder than a shotgun blast from the foxhunt would have been. Elise jumped.
Colin had the door secured; then he turned, leaned against it, and crossed one foot over the other. Then he was unstrapping his sword, and she could swear she could hear and smell the leather as it moved. He leaned it against the wall, settling it into a groove in the rock. Then he crossed his arms, sucked in on both cheeks, which tended to put his lips into a pouting shape, and considered her. Elise’s eyes widened. She dropped them to the floor and had to endure yet another blush.
“What do we do now?” she asked.
That got her a chuckle, then an outright roar of laughter. She didn’t think it was that funny. Then she just asked it.
Her response was more laughter and the looming shape of Colin MacGowan as he neared. Elise surprised herself by putting up her hands, looking over her back, and then backing right into the privy screen. Not only was it a movable piece, it wasn’t attached to the floor. She heard it crash and was with it the entire time as it came to rest, tilted atop the water stand.
Then Colin was right beside her, hauling her into his arms and rolling so she was atop his entire length, making the wooden screen creak with the added weight. He was still chuckling, too, and atop his chest, that was an interesting ride.
Then he sobered. Green-flecked brown eyes held her enthralled as he blew a kiss at her. Elise gasped. That got her a hearty grin.
“Nae man has ever been here?” he asked, his finger running up her spine, where there wasn’t anything beneath the dress, save a chemise. Elise’s eyes were huge. She shook her head. That got her a larger grin.
“And here? Nae man has ever been here?”
He was sliding his hand over her collar and resting his fingers beneath the back of her dress, while his thumb continued a rubdown of its own at the base of her jaw.
She shook her head again.
“Sweet Jesu’.’
His whispered words came with an accompanying groan from the wooden panel they were still perched atop, as he lunged slightly with his lower body against hers. She watched his eyes slit, his lips part, and then he was pursing them slightly to blow out, and then suck in, air. Now, that’s intriguing, she thought.
“How about here?”
He was moving her higher along him; the wood was creaking in protest, but she ignored it. Colin was nuzzling his lips along her chin, and then down her neck; Elise arched her head up to allow him access.
“Nae man has ever been here, either? And here? And here?”
“Just you,” she answered, and then she swallowed; the action moved the lump in her throat against his tongue.
“Your maid has put too much cloth in my way, Elise.”
He murmured it against the base of her throat, where the little blue ribbon bow sat.
“Too much?”
“Aye, and she was verra smart to do so.”
Elise brought her head down. He moved her again, sliding her the span he needed in order to place his chin against hers, his nose to hers, and his lips right against hers.
“She ... was?” Elise panted the question.
“Oh, aye. A man denied for as long as I have been is a forthright man, an impatient man, an ardent, anxious, eager man. All of which would be a terrible mistake right now.”
“It would?” Elise stammered the word.
“Oh, aye. But na’ to worry, lass.”
Worry? she wondered. He didn’t allow her the time away from him for such a dense thought, as his lips pressed fully against hers, defined the shape and texture of them, and then tasted fully what she had to give.
Elise moaned. The screen creaked worse. Colin’s breath mingled with her own, and his tongue touched hers. Elise jumped, and large hands brought her right back to stay perched right where she was, atop him. His mouth moved; he started talking to her lips, moving his against hers. The resultant twinge in her core pulsated right into an answering one in him. She felt it, and then experienced it as he felt it.
“Elise, darling, you’re a goddess come to life. A vision. I thought it when I first clapped eyes on you. I think it now.”
“You thought—?”
“Na’ thought. I knew. You were the most beauteous w
oman on earth. Not were. Are. Doona’ move. Na’ yet.”
Elise lifted her head and brought him into focus. There was a dazed-looking expression on his features. His eyes were half-closed, and they were sparking green fire at her.
“Verra well. Disobey. Move. Doona’ say I dinna’ warn you.”
He didn’t give her any time! Her gasp barely made sound as his hands moved from her back to grip her head and hold her in place. Then his tongue started marauding, pillaging and plundering, and making such a riot of sensation spark through every nerve in her body that Elise was writhing and moaning, sliding and clinging. Her knees slit, and then she was riding, roving and bucking, and listening to her own body’s desires; she wasn’t stopping until Colin moved his hands to grip her hips and bring everything to a standstill.
“Na’ so fast, lass.”
The words were mumbled indistinctly against her lips, and Elise would have hit him if she could have freed her hands enough to make the movement.
“But, Colin—”
“But naught. This here is to be our wedding night, and I’ll see it treated as such. Did your maid include wine?”
Elise lifted her head, looked with out-of-focus eyes at where he was, and frowned. “Wine?” she asked.
“Aye, wine.”
“What for?”
‘To slow this down. ’Tis going to be an experience we’ll remember all our lives, Elise. I’ll na’ take you quickly. I’ve waited too long. You may na’ understand, but you will.”
“But I doona’ want to slow it down,” Elise responded.
“What do you want?”
“I doona’ know!”
That got her another grin. The privy screen groaned ominously. Both of them looked sideways. He turned back first, and that placed his nose against her cheek.
“I ken what you want, lass. And I’m the man to give it to you. Trust me. You’ll na’ be unsatisfied, but it’s na’ something to rush.”
“Colin—”
The sound of splitting wood stopped her. Colin was already moving and on his feet on the opposite side, with Elise clasped to his side. She watched as the dowels split, separating the wood where she and Colin had just been, before falling open to let the water basin show through.
“You ... move fast,” she stammered.
His eyebrows went up and down several times. “You already saw that, lass. You watched me at the MacKennah camp. Now... where were we? Ah, yes. Wine. I doona’ see any wine. I look about and I still doona’ see any.”
Elise looked with him. The fire was still going, the vase of flowers was still sitting on the table. The bed ...
She gasped and put her face against Colin’s shoulder. He chuckled as he felt it, then he was running a hand up her back, and then he was lifting her into his arms.
“My thoughts exactly. Despite everything I try.” He sighed heavily, and she went with it.
“Is it that bad?” Elise asked.
“Oh, nae, lass. It’s that good. Your maid should have stocked wine to assist me with it.”
“With what?”
He was at the bed. She hadn’t even felt him move.
“Things.”
“Things?” Elise asked.
“Aye, things. Desire. Lust. Passion. Those kinds of things.”
He placed her on the bed, but he was right beside her. Then he was pulling her close, rolling to put her atop him again, filling her ears with his words, before capturing her lips to supply her senses with the feel, taste, and scent of him.
He didn’t have her hands trapped this time, and Elise needed no further encouragement than that. His doublet was just as tight as she’d suspected it would be, and despite trying, there didn’t seem any pathway to burrow beneath it from the sides. She eased her hands around his waist, bringing them close together right at his belt line, and when she got near the front of him, he lunged, putting such strength and power against her palm that it frightened her.
“Oh, Jesu’! This is na’ working!”
Then Colin was off the bed, standing with his back to her. Elise was the one giving chase.
“Colin?” she asked, wrapping her arms about what she could reach of him.
“I’ve a bit of a problem, lass. I’ve had it some time.”
Her brow wrinkled. “Problem?” she asked.
“Aye, and it’s dire, it is.”
“What is it?” Elise held her breath.
“Love.”
She frowned. “Love is a problem?”
“When it’s as much as I feel for you, it is. Trust me.” He grimaced.
Elise was glowing. She might as well be floating. Her ears heard every word, and her mind repeated them to her heart.
“You ... love me?” she asked.
“Desperately. Even when I thought ... what I thought of you.”
“You did?”
“Aye, I’m a-feared it’s expansive, too. I’d not known that of it. Someone should have warned me.”
“Of what?”
“How different it all is when one is in love, as I am with you. Only you. I’m beginning to understand why it was you. It makes everything a hundred times more poignant and a thousand times more intense. I only hope I have the strength to do right by you.”
“I doona’ understand any of this,” Elise replied.
Another grimace, and then she was off the ground and in a hug of unimaginable strength and care.
“I ken that. It’s what makes this so different. So special. So perfect. I’ll na’ ruin it with clumsiness, haste, and ineptitude. It’s just so ... it’s tough, lass. Just holding you like this, right now, is making everything on my body betray me, and hate me, and curse at me. I’m trying everything I know to keep it tempered and held at bay until I can na’ longer hold it.”
“What?”
“Things. I just described them to you. Were na’ you listening?”
She nodded.
“You ever try whiskey?”
She nodded again.
“Good, we’ll try that. There’s a dram or two in my sporran. Doona’ you dare!”
The last was abrupt and said because she was reaching for it. The part of him that he was keeping from her was alive and moving again. Elise was fascinated.
“Stop that, lass.”
“But—”
“My sporran. Whiskey. We’ll try that. It had best work.”
He was shuddering through his own words. Elise watched as he uncorked and drank until there couldn’t be anything left. Then he was holding it out to her. She slipped her fingers along his, to reach the flask, and watched another shudder run his frame.
The answering gooseflesh went up her own arm.
Colin lowered his head and growled. And then there was no stopping him.
Chapter 28
“Divest yourself of your clothing, Elise.”
Colin was pulling his jabot loose enough he could shove it to his temple, where it made a lacy, headband affair. He twisted it around.
“Now?” she asked.
“Right now. Without delay. Now.”
She watched as his cuffs met the same end, although he got them over his hands, ripping material in the process. She couldn’t take her eyes from the sight.
“Here. I’ll assist.”
He reached out, with a motion almost too quick to observe, and tugged loose one end of the ribbon bow at her neckline. He didn’t let it go. He pulled her toward him with it. When she was within embrace distance of his arms, he bent his head and touched her cheek with his breath.
“Now. Finish.”
There were buttons on his doublet, and his fingers were slipping them easily in front of her eyes. Elise’s gasp, when he had it open and was yanking the material apart, showing the fine, cambric shirt he wore beneath, was loud and harsh and held a keen of sound to it.
“Elise?”
His breath brushed the stray hairs at her forehead. She looked up. Severe. His face wasn’t granite-carved or stony. It was severe, though.
“Your virginity is near an end, and if you doona’ assist me with it, so is that gown. Now divest yourself of it. Now.”
The shirt parted in front of her eyes next, and then her entire vision was filled with tanned flesh, rippled muscle, and a slight line of hair. She reached for him, spread her palms wide to him, and cupped her hands around every bit of his chest she could reach.
The snort he gave made more breath rush over her head. Elise didn’t care. His fingers pulled the laces from the front of her gown, and then separated it. She was defining how the strength beneath the skin moved, tensed, pulled, and flexed as he did so.
“Colin?” she whispered.
“Aye.” Her answer was in a gruff tone, as if he wasn’t paying attention. She knew it was because he had her dress undone and was moving up the opening to her shoulders to push open the material.
“You’re beautiful. I mean—handsome. You’re verra handsome. Manly. Immense. Beautiful.”
He snorted again. Then he had his hands wrapped over her shoulders; using them as handholds, he had her in his embrace.
Satin-clothed skin touched warm, heated flesh. Elise slid her own nipples against him, enjoying the caressive pressure of the ropes of muscle at his abdomen, and from there she was moving up, smashing every bit of her against the strength of him.
She had her arms looped above his shoulders; then she was climbing, pulling herself up, and then latching her legs about that torso. Colin’s groan filled the chambers of her mouth as she slammed it to his, using the motions he’d taught her.
It was delicious. Almost as much as the sparks that seemed to be flying from where her most feminine area was turning into the consistency of a gelatin-like sensation where she was pressing against him.
“Elise. Elise.”
She ignored him to launch herself up higher on him, wrapping her arms about his neck and imprinting her ownership on everywhere she could reach, taste, and touch.
“Yes, Colin! Oh yes!”
Elise’s cry filled the room, reaching the ceiling as something expanded within her, and that was just the beginning of it. Colin pulled his mouth from hers, with a savagery she’d not known felt so wondrous, in order to lap at the satin covering her breast. Then he was pulling the entire mass of it into his mouth and making her scream at how that felt.