"And after that you changed your mind about buying?"
"No. It took me quite a while to get over what had happened. By the time I was able to think clearly again, it was too late. McIven had bought Foxton Hall for his new bride."
I finish the salad and put it to one side, check the potatoes, and turn on the broiler. "So, why didn't you move away and get a fresh start?"
Nick shoots me a look as if I'm the head case. "I could never do that."
"Why not? Your family's all gone."
"Not completely."
"Meaning?"
He gives me another funny look. "I don't know if you're aware of this, but the bond between identical twins is incredibly strong. That's the way it was with Nathan and me. We were inseparable. I know he's dead, and I've accepted it to a point. But I still feel his presence so strongly. He's somehow holding me here, and I can't turn my back.
"Maybe it's because I feel so damn guilty for not completing our plan to buy this place when it came on the market. And maybe it's nothing more than my wild imaginings. I have no idea. I just know I can't leave Foxton. I can't desert him. I don't even want to." He looks up and smiles. "See. I said you'd think I was a head case."
"I don't think any such thing. I truly believe there's a lot between heaven and earth that we don't understand. And like you say, there can be strong ties between twins."
"Believe me, I know. Every time I get within a mile of this place, I feel Nathan's presence in a way that's difficult to ignore. I've tried, but it's impossible. That's why I need to buy the hall back. Once that happens, I'm hoping I can lose these ridiculous feelings of guilt, Nathan's hold on me will disappear, and I can move on with my life."
"You sure coming back here to live will solve the problem?"
"I haven't been sure of anything since Nathan died."
"I can understand that, but isn't this house kinda big for one person?"
"It is. But I won't be alone. My company needs bigger premises, and with a little renovating, the hall will fit mine and my company's needs to perfection."
"And you think you can convince McIven to sell?"
"I won't know until I try. But he's seldom here, so he might be glad of the opportunity to get rid of it."
"Especially as his plans to get married didn't work out." I look around the kitchen that was designed for a large family, and wonder how any woman would be foolish enough to throw away the opportunity to call this home. I love Foxton Hall in the same way I loved my teddy bear when I was a kid, and an old red sweater I left behind in L.A. Despite the hall's size, to me it's so warm and comfy I just love it.
Despite our short acquaintance, I also know I'm head over heels in love with Nick, and I'm dreading the day when McIven returns and I have to leave.
I season the fish with herbs and lemon pepper and put the pan under the broiler. "Mashed potatoes, broiled fish and salad. Will that be enough for you?"
"Sounds delicious. Umm...Ali?"
"Yes?"
"If I'm able to buy back the hall, would you consider staying here?"
"As what? The cook?"
He comes over and wraps his arms around me from behind. "No, you silly goose. If you want to cook for me, I won't stop you. And if I can't get the hall back, then it will have to be at my house in the village. It's not as big as this, but I think you'll like it. I believe the two of us could have a great life together. That's if you want to, of course."
I lean back into the warmth of his body and feel the full extent of his erection pressing hard against my bottom. "You asking me to marry you?"
"In a backhanded way, I suppose I am. But I'm not the kind to close my eyes and jump into uncharted waters. I want us to take a little time to get to know one another and be quite sure this is what we want." He hesitates. "What do you say?"
I turn around to face him. "There's a lot about me you don't know."
"Such as?"
"I'm a coward. When the going gets rough, I don't hang around and ask if there's anything I can do to help. I take off."
"Does this have something to do with your late husband?"
"It has to do with me and him. I knew he was getting us deeper and deeper into debt, but instead of saying or doing anything, I simply turned a blind eye and pretended everything was just fine."
"Lots of people react like that."
"Maybe so. But after the police decided I was in no way responsible for George's death, instead of staying in L.A. and try to deal with the creditors myself, I told our attorney to take care of it, grabbed all the spare cash I could lay my hands on, and got the hell out of there. I'm not proud of what I did, but..." I look at Nick and shrug. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."
"I don't understand why you hadn't separated. Or at least started divorce proceedings."
"I thought, given time, he'd straighten himself out."
"But that didn't happen."
"Nope. And I think deep down, I always knew it never would."
"There's something I have to tell you, too."
"You eat crackers in bed?"
"What are crackers?"
"Those plain, salty square things you can put paté on, or have with soup."
"You mean the biscuits you serve with cheese?"
"I have no idea what you call them here in England. I just want to know if you eat them in bed?"
"No. It's a little worse than that."
I notice the faint smell of burning and whip the fish out from beneath the broiler. Luckily it's just the herbs that are a tad too brown. "What could be worse than eating crackers in bed?"
"You might not want to stay when I tell you."
I take two plates from the cupboard and put them on the counter. "Try me?"
"I lied when I told you the hall wasn't haunted. The truth is, we have a resident ghost."
"Really?" I'm so cool about Nick's revelation I even amaze myself. "Who is it? One of your ancestors?"
"No--my brother, Nathan."
I busy myself with mashing the potatoes. Shit! I should've realized those dreams weren't regular dreams the moment Nick told me Nathan was dead. "You know this for sure, or are you just guessing?"
"I know the place was ghost-free before Nathan's accident. And I know my brother adored women and loathed being by himself. Believe me, he's here."
"You've seen him?"
"No. But I had a feeling Nathan was to blame for scaring McIven's housekeeper off when I heard she'd told someone in the village that a dark-haired young man had broken into her room. And I know, for a fact, it was Nathan who McIven heard in Polly's room because she told me so herself. Scared the poor girl almost silly, as a matter of fact. So much so, she was happy to let McIven think whatever he wanted provided she didn't have to spend another minute in this house."
I put the fish and potatoes on the plates and take them over to the table, then fetch the cutlery and the salad. "What did Polly say?"
"Basically, that she woke up and saw a man, who she thought was me, standing by the window. She asked what I was doing here, and the man said since this was his home where else would he be? And that he was Nathan, not me."
"I guess that was scary. Did she know Nathan was dead?"
"She knew. The two of them were involved at one time." Nick chuckles softly. "But not as scared as she was later when she said she woke up again and found him in her bed, making love to her."
"You're kidding?"
Nick grabs my arm and turns me around to face him. His eyes are narrowed and his mouth is tight, and while he doesn't look exactly angry, I can tell he's not too pleased with me either. "No, I'm not kidding. And since you're nowhere near as surprised as I expected you to be that must mean you've already met Nathan. Am I right?"
"Don't be ridiculous, Nick. Your brother's dead. You said so yourself."
"I don't care what I said. Why didn't you tell me? If he so much as harms--"
I put a hand over his mouth. "Don't be silly, Nick. Dead people are completely harmles
s. If Nathan's spirit is still here--and I am saying 'if,' I'm sure it won't hurt me."
"Right. Nathan's a ghost, not a flesh and blood man, so there's not much he can do except frighten people. But you have seen him, haven't you?"
"I may have. I can't be sure if I actually saw something, or if just imagined it."
"When did this happen? Where?"
I hesitate. No way am I giving Nick chapter and verse on my dream. He'd freak for absolute sure. "I woke up and thought I saw someone standing by the window. I figured it was you. But then the moon slipped out from behind a cloud, and there was no one there. Just my imagination playing tricks."
"Or so you've convinced yourself." He sighs and releases my arm. "You don't mind being alone in a haunted house?"
"Why should I mind? Anyway, it's not haunted in the popular sense. There are no headless bodies hanging around the ramparts, wailing women in the corridors, or strange apparitions coming after me with an ax. I've always believed ghosts are just dead people with unfinished business. And that once whatever is bothering them is dealt with, they'll no longer have a reason to stay, and they'll leave."
"We have no ramparts at the hall. But if what you say about ghosts is true, how come some places have been haunted by the same ghost for centuries?"
"Maybe because no one bothered to find out what the problem was and fix it. I really don't know. I'm not an expert on the subject. Now, come on and eat before the food gets cold."
We concentrate on our dinner for a couple of minutes without speaking, then Nick hesitates with a forkful of mashed potato halfway between the plate and his mouth. "What if they knew what the problem was and, for whatever reason, couldn't do anything about it? There's this hotel on the south coast where a woman can still be heard crying for the lover she lost at sea over a hundred years ago."
"I'm sure there are lots of ghosts with that kind of insoluble problem. But that's not the way it is with your brother. If you buy the hall and return here to live, you'll have done what you promised to do. Hopefully, his business here on earth will then be finished, and he'll just fade away."
He swallows the mouthful of potato and puts down his fork. "You don't really believe that, do you?"
"Believe what?"
"That once I'm back, he'll just disappear."
"What other reason does he have for hanging around?"
"Nathan didn't like being alone. Like I said, we were close. We always did everything together. And I know he's still here. I can feel him."
Everything?
I would hope there were limits to their togetherness, but I'm not about to go down that road by asking questions. "Did he leave a wife, kids? A girlfriend or two?"
"No kids I know of. He and Polly drifted apart long before she met Sam McIven, and he never married. I'm afraid my brother was a bit of a butterfly when it came to women--he adored them all and flitted back and forth from one to another, and never showed the slightest interest in settling down."
"What about you?"
"I went through the same teenage stuff as everyone else. Since then, there have been a couple of women in my life, but nothing you could call serious. Keeping an eye on several hundred vehicles that are carrying millions of pounds' worth of goods, doesn't leave me much time for long walks and romantic suppers."
"But don't you have employees who do the actual grunt work?"
"Of course. I have enough employees to work three round-the-clock shifts. Obviously, I can't watch dozens of monitors and take dozens of calls night and day all by myself. At one time, Nathan and I each did twelve-hour shifts. After he died, I was lucky enough to find a good night manager. But a few months ago the man quit. He'd decided to move to Canada to live with his daughter.
"Unfortunately, good people are difficult to find, and so far, I haven't been able to replace him. So, until I find bigger premises and can hire more qualified supervisory staff, I'm the one who has to take care of any emergency situations like the two we had last night."
"I see." I pick at my salad, but my fish is cold and anyway my appetite's gone, so I push it all aside. "And you think your employees will be happy working in a haunted house?"
"They won't know it's haunted unless I tell them. From the two stories I've heard, Nathan has only been seen on the second floor, and the company operations will be located downstairs on the main floor. Anyway, if what you believe turns out to be true, once I'm back home, he'll have no reason to hang around, and it won't be a problem."
"And if he doesn't?"
"Then he doesn't. Will you mind?"
"I don't know. I've never lived with a ghost. Want some coffee?"
"Sure." He quickly scarfs down the rest of what's on his plate and leans back in his chair with a contented sigh. "That was good. Any pudding?"
"If you mean dessert, those éclairs we bought yesterday are still sitting in the refrigerator. You want to light the fire in the library, while I make coffee?"
But the moment we settle down on the old fake fur rug in front of the fire, Nick pulls me into his arms and the coffee and dessert are forgotten.
"God! I just can't get enough of you," he murmurs as he pushes up my shirt, and I feel his tongue curl around a nipple.
As he transfers his attentions to my other breast, I thread my fingers through his dark hair, loving the feel of his mouth sucking me, and the slightly rough texture of his hands against my sensitized skin.
There is, I discover, something earthy and primitive about making love on a fur rug before a blazing fire. It makes me wonder what it would have been like to be a woman a thousand or more years ago--to be captured by a hunter and dragged back to his cave and ravaged until his desires were sated. Or would that hunter have been considerate of the woman? Would he have kissed and touched her the same way Nick is kissing and touching me? Would he have made her juices flow like a river and turned her boneless with longing in the same way Nick is doing to me?
He unzips my jeans and pulls them down my legs, and my panties and bra soon disappear as well. Once he's disposed of his own clothes, he settles down beside me again. "This is nice, hmm?" He kisses me on the lips and slips his tongue into my mouth.
As our tongues begin to slow dance, I move my hands over his back and down to his butt. Slipping a hand between our bodies, I stroke his shaft until it stiffens and bucks against my hand. Then, I push him onto his back and take him in my mouth. As I hold his dick with one hand and begin to suck, I slip the other beneath him and gently squeeze his balls.
The moment I know I have him on the edge, I straddle his body and impale myself on his shaft. "Feel good?" I ask as I begin to ride him.
"Very. But we missed out my favorite part." Putting his words into action, he reverses our positions and parts my legs. "I need to taste you first."
Parting my folds, he blows on my clit, then begins tonguing it, making me squirm with pleasure.
My muscles tighten momentarily as he pushes a finger up my anus. But the twin pleasures of his tongue and his finger have me so close to coming I hold my breath, determined to keep it at bay just a little longer.
But after a couple more seconds of such exquisite pleasure I can't wait, and neither can he. Lifting me up he slams into me, withdraws and slams in again. A few more thrusts and I reach the exquisite sensation of knowing I'm about to shatter into a thousand tiny pieces, and I know Nick's right behind me.
* * * *
When Nick leaves early the following morning, he warns me he has a busy week ahead, and I may not see him again until the weekend. But that's fine with me. There's a ton of stuff to keep me busy in the house, and, if the weather holds, I can walk down the street and check out the village, and go for long walks in the woods.
I told Nick the truth when I said I didn't mind staying alone in a house that's haunted. I've met Nathan, and I know what he's like. I also know he'll never hurt me.
For the next two nights my sleep is dreamless and uninterrupted, and I spend the daylight hours restoring the master
suite to pristine perfection, treating the kitchen to a long overdue cleaning, and making the library a little more comfortable for Nick's next visit.
You'd think it was my house the way I'm fussing over it. Although, if Nick was sincere about asking me to stay with a view to becoming Mrs. Nick...who knows? Perhaps one day it will be mine.
Late on the afternoon of the third day, I make myself a pot of tea and take it into the library. I won't say I haven't given Nathan another thought because I have. Despite my best efforts to the contrary, I think about him all the time. If Nick hadn't told me about the other incidents with McIven's housekeeper and girlfriend, I could have dismissed my own experiences as dreams and illusions, and Nick's "feelings" as an inability to accept his twin's death.
But he did tell me, so normal, logical explanations are no longer possible. I know Nathan's spirit is still in this house as surely as I know the sun will come up tomorrow.
In fact, to my complete shock and amazement, I suddenly realize I'm as much in love with Nathan as I am with Nick, and I don't want him to leave. I want Nathan to stay here with me and Nick, and...
Somehow, I have to tell Nick what's going on and hope he understands. If he doesn't... Saying I'm in love with a ghost sounds a little crazy even to me, so I try to tell myself it's just an obsession, or a crush. But I know it's not. I'm in love with the both of them, that's the way it is, and there's nothing I would do to change the situation, even if I could.
For that reason, I'm hoping McIven will be interested in selling the house to Nick. If he's not interested and decides to live here himself, then I'll have to convince him to hire me on as his permanent housekeeper.
I take a sip of tea, but as I start to put my cup back in the saucer, a thought strikes me and I pause.
What happens if Nick is able buy the house back and my "unfinished business" theory turns out to be correct? Will Nathan then have to pass over, or whatever it is dead people do, and check into his assigned spot in the hereafter?
I put down the cup and head for the third floor. I don't have a clue whether my theory about ghosts is true or not. It's just something that's always seemed logical to me. I've heard the experts rabbit on at great length about auras and influences and evil intent, but no one knows for sure. This is why I've always figured a ghost's raison d'être must involve something he or she wasn't able to do or complete while they were alive. Otherwise, why go to all the bother of hanging around?
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