Philip snorted. “I knew she weren’t the minute I seen her.”
“The first time I saw her, before I knew who she was, I thought differently too.” The admission brought a flush to Jeremiah’s face. “Actually, I was drawn to her beauty.” He hadn’t mentioned that to anyone else and wasn’t sure he should have mentioned it to Philip.
“Who wouldn’t be?” Philip’s cackle filled the room. “She’s right purty, that one. But her beauty goes clean through.”
The words echoed Jeremiah’s previous thoughts. The fact that Philip had sunk his pick in the heart of the ore didn’t make him feel any better. And all those words Sam Oldman had preached still tumbled in his head.
“Remember I went to the service last Sunday?”
Philip let out another cackle. “I wondered when you’d come to yer senses and talk about it.”
“What’s to talk about? I went with you. That’s all.”
“Then why’d ya bring it up?” The old man’s piercing eyes drilled straight through Jeremiah like they were heading for the mother lode.
He wondered if Philip could read his thoughts. “Been thinking about what the preacher said. You know, about judging other people.”
Philip nodded but didn’t say a word, even though his eyes held Jeremiah captive.
“Heck, I didn’t even realize how wrong I was about Madeline”—her name tasted like a sweet dessert on his tongue—“until just a little while ago.”
Philip stopped the chair from rocking and inched forward. “What happened?”
“A scoundrel came to town and accused Madeline of terrible things.”
Gripping the armrests, Philip scowled at Jeremiah. “Horace Johnstone’s here in Golden?” The question roared through the room.
“How’d you know his name?” Jeremiah didn’t know what to think about his friend’s reaction. “Did someone come up here and tell you before I came?”
“No, Madeline told me ’bout the man. I think he’s a swindler who’s done stole Madeline’s father’s wealth. She don’t realize it yet, but I hope she sees him fer what he is real soon.”
Jeremiah knew Johnstone had done bad things to Madeline, but could he be a crook too? A new thought, for sure. But Philip knowing all about this man and his coming was a surprise to Jeremiah.
He dropped onto the sofa. “Madeline told you about him?”
Philip nodded. “No secrets between us. I done asked her to marry me, so she and Pearl can be my heirs. ’Course, I could jist make a will to say that, I guess.”
Those knots in Jeremiah’s gut were tightening again. He hadn’t realized marriage between Madeline and Philip was really on the horizon. He loved Philip like a father, more than he ever loved the man who took such pleasure in beating a helpless boy. But nothing inside him wanted Philip to marry Madeline. What could he do now?
“So what happened when Johnstone made his appearance?”
Jeremiah was so lost in his own thoughts, he almost didn’t catch the question. “She…disproved the man’s accusations, and the sheriff threw him in jail.”
A smile crept across Philip’s wrinkles. “Wonder how long Bill can keep him?”
Jeremiah shook his head, trying to get his mind back into the conversation, which had taken a real detour from what he had in mind when he came to Philip’s. “He opened Madeline’s mail back in Boston, plus we caught him rifling through the sheriff’s desk. Sheriff’s planning on holding him until the territorial judge comes back around. Could be quite awhile.”
Philip slid to the back of the chair and set it to rocking again. “Now why did ya want to talk ’bout Sam’s sermon?”
The man was lightning fast in changing the subject. Jeremiah had a hard time keeping up. “Ma took me to church before she died. I’d never heard a sermon like the one Sam preached. The old ones were all about the fires of hell, and they scared me to death. Sam seemed to be talking to the life I’ve been living. Like he was walking in my boots.”
Philip chuckled. “He’s really good, ain’t he? A sermon’s no good if’n it don’t set ya to thinkin’.”
“I’ve been doing plenty of that, ’specially since I found out how I’d misjudged Miss Mercer.” He decided maybe he should call her that since Philip planned to marry her. Maybe it would help him put a barrier between himself and her. A barrier he wouldn’t dare cross now that he knew about the upcoming wedding. Or could he?
Philip held up one hand. “I know ya don’t like me to talk ’bout the good Lord, but He’s tryin’ to get yer attention, Jerry. A spiritual thing.” Philip shook his head with certainty.
Philip’s words stabbed at Jeremiah, making him even more uncomfortable than before. And why? He wasn’t a rank sinner like some. He lived right—at least he tried to. Treated his fellow man with kindness—usually. He just wanted to know how bad it was that he’d misjudged Madeli…Miss Mercer. Maybe he’d go to church with Philip again. Couldn’t hurt. Last time it didn’t. Except for this terrible knot in my stomach.
He stood and snatched his hat from the hook. “Sorry to rush off, but I need to get back to the ranch.”
It wasn’t exactly a lie, but he was leaving because he didn’t want to discuss anything spiritual with Philip. Besides, he sure didn’t want to blurt out his feelings for Madeline in a weak moment and hurt Philip. Probably the older man knew he was running away. Jeremiah hastened his pace even as he tried to figure out what it was that had him on the run. He wished he knew. Something was eating on him. Could he face whatever it was when it really came down to it? He sure hoped so.
Chapter Twenty-two
Yesterday had been such a busy day, Maddy hadn’t spent any time with Philip. Today she’d remedy that situation. As soon as she finished feeding, cleaning, and dressing Pearl, she headed up the hill toward the lovely adobe house. This walk was becoming a familiar part of her routine, greeting those who were out and about in Golden, noticing the differences in the landscape from Boston. Even though the dwelling was small in comparison to her mansion in Boston, she loved visiting there. In many ways, it felt more homey. Her visits with Philip were enjoyable too. He’d lived an interesting life that he freely shared with her.
Truly, her life had changed since she came to Golden. She had more purpose, and here there were no mansions that shut out the poorer people in town. There wasn’t a sense of difference between classes. She’d gotten to know all the women who worshiped at the hotel. They welcomed her with open arms, making her feel accepted, as if she’d always been one of them. On several occasions, she’d been invited to lunch or to help with a quilting bee or sewing circle.
She could almost forget how coddled she’d been, but she didn’t want to completely forget how wonderful her father and mother had been. Those memories were precious. However, she never wanted to be so dependent again. Although she thanked God for her family and the way she’d been reared, Golden was becoming more home to her, since it was here she’d really blossomed into a responsible woman. Even if she didn’t actually have her own place.
Of course, Philip had offered to marry her so she could move into his house and make it her own. Was that what she should do? She wasn’t so sure. She didn’t feel a peace about doing that. Philip was a good man, and she had come to love him, but not as she should a husband. In the back of her mind, Maddy still clung to the chance that she would one day give Pearl brothers and sisters. But her financial situation since coming here was precarious, and if she married Philip, all Pearl needed would be provided. He’d already helped Maddy financially by buying things for her and Pearl, but she didn’t feel right continuing to accept his help if he wanted more from her.
“Good morning, Madeline.”
She had been so lost in thought she hadn’t noticed Martha Henderson coming toward her. “Good morning. Isn’t it lovely out here today?”
Martha peered at Pearl. “And your daughter is enjoying being out in the sunshine, isn’t she?”
Pearl jumped in her arms, and Maddy had to grab he
r before she fell. “She’s a handful when we’re out here.”
“Just wait until she starts walking. I remember chasing my Rosie down this road many a time.”
Maddy glanced down at the dirt, since they’d left the cobblestones behind. “I’m glad Pearl isn’t walking yet. Actually, when do babies usually start?”
Her friend studied the few clouds for a minute. “Well, Hank walked when he was only nine months old, but Rosie and Lynette didn’t start until they were almost a year old. Of course, they crawled all over the place before that.” She shaded her eyes with one hand and stared down toward town. “I’ve got to go. Nice talking to you, Madeline.”
Crawling, then walking. Maddy hadn’t considered the ramifications of these. Pearl didn’t have much room for either in the hotel room. Something had to happen—and soon.
If she married Philip, she wasn’t sure how other people would react. Would they think less of Philip or her? A sham marriage would be an easy answer, but Philip deserved better than that.
She didn’t want to lose their easy relationship, but somehow her situation had to change. Maybe she could sell some of her mother’s jewelry. But she didn’t want to let any of the pieces go, because they were all she had left of her mother.
Pearl squirmed, and Maddy shifted her to one hip and started up the hill again.
She enjoyed taking care of Philip and making his home more comfortable for him. After all his stories about what it was like when he was one of the first settlers in this area, she wanted to make his later years better. Her final decision wouldn’t be an easy one either way.
Pearl loved going to the house on the hill. Even though her weight offset that of the food basket in her other arm, Maddy’d be glad when they reached the front porch.
A laugh burst from Pearl’s lips as she waved her hands in the air. Hanging onto her was becoming harder.
“You love being outside, don’t you, my Pearl of great price?” Maddy held her closer and dropped a quick kiss on her cheek. “We’re almost there. Soon you’ll get to see Philip.”
Pearl patted a slobbery hand against Maddy’s cheek. Maddy quickly turned so she could kiss the sweet fingers, not caring about the wet mess on her own face.
“Saw ya comin’.” Philip stood on the edge of the porch. Leaning on his cane, his balance looked precarious.
He’d become more unsteady on his feet lately. Maddy hoped he wouldn’t topple over before she climbed the steps. She worried about what would happen to him if no one came to check on him. He might not live very long. That thought squeezed her heart. She didn’t want him to die.
“How’s my girl this mornin’?” His eyes gleamed as he studied the baby.
Maddy reached the porch. “You can hold onto my arm while we go inside. When you’re seated, I’ll give Pearl to you.”
“Yer a good woman, Madeline.” He grabbed onto the arm carrying the food basket and tottered into the house beside her.
“I know you love being outside on such a beautiful morning, but I wish you’d wait for me inside. Then I could accompany you when you go out.” Maddy set the basket on the table while Philip went to his favorite chair.
She nestled Pearl into his arms, but the baby sat up and stared into his face. Her expression radiated glee. And his matched hers.
“That baby looks forward to being with you just as much as you love having her.” Maddy took the basket into the kitchen and started unloading the food.
“She’s a special lil’ darlin’.” When Philip started talking gibberish to Pearl, she cooed and jabbered right back until both were laughing out loud.
“Are you hungry?” Maddy called to Philip, hoping he would hear her over all the noise the two were making.
“Sure am.”
She quickly pulled a plate from the shelf and filled it with scrambled eggs, bacon, and buckwheat cakes. Then she took the food into the front room. “I can put Pearl on a pallet while you eat. She can play with those spools and the ball I put in the armoire.”
After she’d spread a quilt in the middle of the floor, she lifted Pearl from his arms. Philip seemed reluctant to let go of the baby.
“You can hold her again when you’re finished eating.”
Maddy went back into the kitchen to get the butter, syrup, and a fork for him. When she came back, he was seated at the table chewing on a piece of crisp bacon. She set down the items and headed back for the coffee she’d carried up in a fruit jar. She poured two mugs full and carried them to the table.
She glanced at Pearl, who had a spool in each hand and was waving them in the air, occasionally clacking them together. “I’m going to sit down with you, because we need to talk.” She sat on the edge of the chair, leaning toward him.
“What’s on yer mind, Madeline girl?”
She took a sip of the now tepid drink and wished she hadn’t. Hot coffee tasted much better. Now how should she approach the subject? “I’ve been thinking about your proposal.”
While she was trying to decide what to say next, he put down his fork. “I don’t wanna force ya into anythin’.”
“I know that.” She reached across the table and clasped his hand. Age spots and wrinkles gave it character, and his grip was surprisingly strong. “I don’t want to bring shame on either of us. If I were to marry you, people would think I was taking advantage of you, and I’d never do that.”
When he raised his hand to interrupt, she rushed her words, so she could finish before he said anything. “I’ve come to love you as if you were my grandfather. And I want to honor you that way. If we married in name only, as you suggested, it would be a mockery of what I feel for you and a mockery of the real marriages around us. I like what we have right now. A friendship that is strong as a family bond. And I want that to continue.”
She paused, and he took his chance. “Ya finished?”
After she nodded, he continued, “I like what we have too. You, me, and Pearl. Ya feel like family to me already. So let’s jist keep it that way.”
Relieved, she sat back in the chair. “That’s what I was trying to say.”
“Madeline, ya know I might not last much longer.” He continued to clasp her hand tightly in his.
She ducked her head and took a breath. “I know. But I want to make your last days comfortable and happy. Taking care of you and your home gives me great pleasure.”
“Make a deal with ya, girl. Let me pay ya fer takin’ care of me.”
Maddy stretched to her full height. “Family members don’t pay other family members for taking care of them.”
A twinkle lit his eyes. “If I’m yer grandpappy, I’d give ya presents then. Sometimes money.” He shook his head as if for emphasis.
She heaved a deep sigh. “Philip, what am I going to do with you?”
“Jist love me, girl. Jist love me and let me be yer grandpappy.”
“I do that already.” She realized she meant every word. “I didn’t know what I would find when I got here, but I didn’t expect to love you like you were family.”
A lone tear slipped down his wrinkled cheek. “Yer too good to me, Maddy.”
“No, I’m not.” She arose and went around the table, clasping her arms around him from behind. “God truly brought us together for His purpose.”
I just wish I knew what that purpose was. Surely it wasn’t simply to watch this man slowly slip away.
When Sunday arrived, Jeremiah arose with the dawn. Birdsong greeted the sun as it made its way over the mountains. He loved listening to the different birdcalls—especially the doves. They brought a feeling of peace. As though everything was right in the world. But everything wasn’t right. Turmoil waged war inside him.
After he dressed he made his way to the cook shack. A woodpecker tapped in rhythm on one of the oaks that surrounded the ranch house, and a jay flew up out of the tree. Maybe there was a nest up there. He’d thought so in the spring. Probably by now all the eggs had hatched and the nest would be empty. Just like his life was empty w
ithout a wife and family. A jackrabbit headed out of the brush toward a cluster of cactus, flushing a roadrunner that took off like a flash, leaving a trail of dust in its wake.
Jeremiah loved this ranch. He felt in tune with the land and the animals, the tame ones and the wildlife. If only he had that same kind of peace in his heart. The smell of ham sizzling on the fire tickled his nostrils as he entered the cook shack.
T-Bone had flapjacks and a slab of ham waiting for him. “Yer up early for a Sunday, Boss. Dressed kinda nice. What ya plannin’ to do today?”
Jeremiah lifted the mug of coffee and took a swig. The heat traveled down his gullet and hit his stomach like a wildfire. He took a deep breath through his mouth to cool it off. “Going into town.”
“Yeah, but ya don’t usually dress up like that.” The burly man crossed his beefy arms.
“Takin’ Philip to church. Thought I might stay awhile.” Jeremiah stuffed a huge bite in his mouth, hoping T-Bone would back off.
“Good, I made gingerbread. Ya can take some to the old man.”
Jeremiah watched T-Bone saunter back to the kitchen area. Good. Now I can finish my breakfast in peace. Most of the hands would be sleeping late after a night in town. He didn’t mind them letting off steam on Saturday night as long as they didn’t drink on the ranch. He’d had more than his fill of drunks losing control. Didn’t need it here.
T-Bone returned to the dining area with a wrapped package just as Jeremiah finished eating. He thanked T-Bone for his thoughtful-ness and headed toward the barn.
As he rode out on Lightning, a pair of red-tailed hawks soared over him almost as if they wanted to go too, but the horse soon outpaced them as they climbed higher and rode the wind current back toward the ranch. Even birds had a mate. The deep, empty ache inside him throbbed. Wasn’t he as good as a stupid bird? Philip did pretty good for himself ordering a mail-order bride. Maybe he should write for one too. Naw, she wouldn’t be Madeline.
Swede had the wagon ready for him when he arrived in Golden. After handing off Lightning to Swede’s good care, Jeremiah drove the wagon up the hill. He arrived a bit early, so Philip was still inside, snoozing in his rocking chair with his chin resting on his chest. Jeremiah hated to wake him, but he knew Philip really looked forward to the church service. After studying the older man for a few minutes, noting how frail he had become, Jeremiah gently touched his shoulder.
Love Finds You in Golden, New Mexico Page 20