by Toni Aleo
Fucking hell.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Yes, there is,” she says, setting me with a look.
I shake my head. “I messed up on a pass, and I can’t let it go.”
“Well, that’s dumb,” she declares. “Why are you doing that?”
“’Cause maybe I’m a perfectionist?”
She scoffs. “No, we hate to fail. But what did Dad always say?”
My chest tightens up as I glance down to her. She looks so much like him. Her eyes are just like his. While she has the classic Adler blue eyes, they’re not as narrow as Mom’s and mine. Amelia’s are wide and full, her lashes so long and dark, kissing her cheeks when she blinks.
“‘Accept what it is. Let it go, and have faith in what it will be.’ Or in Shea’s words, ‘Leave it on the ice, mat, or stage.’ Depends who he is talking to.”
I quirk my lips. “I know.”
“So stop being a grumpy ass and let me meet your linemate.”
I’m confused by the change in subject. “Excuse me?”
“Moon?” she asks, looking out at the crowd of people on campus. “He lifted the cage of his helmet, and holy hot hell, he is yummy. Hook me up.”
I just blink. “Go home.”
“Ryan!”
“Go home now,” I demand, and I’m met with her laughter.
“Don’t be such a baby! I’m a woman.”
“Ew, you’re like ten.”
“Eighteen!”
“Same thing,” I say, yet she follows me to my truck.
“Come on, Ryan. Guys are intimidated. I swear they look at me like I’m a kid. But if I have you introducing me, I’ll be good.”
“No and no,” I say simply, looking seriously at my baby sister. “I will not hook you up.”
“Ugh. You suck.”
“You’ll thank me when your heart stays intact. Guys suck.”
“So? It’s part of the experience.”
“Experience? Are you insane? Go home.”
“No, please.”
“No, plus Moon has a girlfriend.” He doesn’t, but I’m not telling her that.
She’s deflated for maybe a second before she asks, “McNeil. He’s huge—”
“Go home, Amelia.”
She whines playfully. “No, drive me home.”
I give her a dry look. “You live not ten minutes from here.”
“I know, but I wore heels, which I know is dumb. But Sofia is like stupid gorgeous, so I had to look good.”
I raise a brow. “Hot, huh?”
She laughs. “Please, she’s so out of your league.”
“Rude.”
I open her door for her.
“You’ll see tomorrow. She’s insanely gorgeous, and guess what?”
I shut her door, but my windows are down, so I can still hear her. “What?”
She just grins, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “I’ll never hook you up because you won’t hook me up with your buddy.”
I roll my eyes. “Not that I want you to, let’s be honest…”
“Why is that?”
Her question catches me off guard. “Huh?”
“You never date.”
“I don’t have time. I’m busy.”
“Are you gay?”
My jaw actually drops. “Excuse me?”
“No, really. You know I love you, and so do Shelli and Posey, but we’re all wondering what is going on. You haven’t had a girlfriend in, like, ever. I don’t even remember one.”
Is this really happening? Clearing my throat, I shake my head. “Just ’cause you don’t see me with anyone doesn’t mean I’m not hooking up. I am very straight. Like, totally straight. I love women.” She doesn’t seem convinced, and for some reason, that annoys me. “Robin.”
She pulls her brows together. “Robin? What about Robin?”
“I was with her all summer.”
Now it’s her turn for her jaw to drop. “You were dating—”
“Screwing.”
“Ew!” she yells, smacking me. “You were screwing my ex-boyfriend’s sister?”
I shrug, a grin pulling at my lips. “She’s hot.”
“I am appalled.”
I laugh. “And as I was saying, if I did want you to hook me up with your so-called gorgeous roommate, you need to remember who decides who gets to come to our parties.”
Her smile drops in an instant as she leans back, crossing her arms over her chest in a huff. With a satisfied grin, I head to the driver’s side with a little pep in my step.
I may have sucked on the ice, but anytime I go one-on-one with my sister, I win.
Chapter Four
Sofia
Pushing my hair out of my face, I lean back in my bed as I look at the ceiling. “Did you get the money?”
“Ah, bella, yes, thank you.”
My mom sounds a little stressed which, in return, stresses me out. I’ve been staring at my laptop screen trying to write this stupid paper that is also stressing me out. I really don’t need to stress; I have a meet tomorrow. Yet, here I am.
“Good. I was worried you hadn’t gotten it since I hadn’t heard anything.”
“Yes, sorry, I’ve been busy.”
“Busy? Doing what?”
“Working, bella. Ya know I gotta work.”
I love my mom so much, but her stubbornness sets my teeth on edge. She was supposed to quit her jobs when I left. I’ve asked her every single time I’ve spoken to her since coming to Nashville to quit her jobs, but she won’t. “Ma, you don’t need to work all the time. Quit the hotel.”
“No, I love it there.”
“Fine, then quit the day care.”
“But I’ll miss the kids. They love me, and you know if I don’t clean, they won’t.”
I know darn well she won’t quit the restaurant since her sister owns it. “Then the restaurant. Tia will understand. You’re tired,” I say, just for shits and giggles at this point.
She laughs at me. “Nah, bella, I’m fine. Don’t worry so much.”
“Ma, you sound tired.”
“Well, I am, but it’s okay. I get bored, you know that, and with you being gone, I need something to do. Plus, we’ve almost paid off all the medical bills. When we do, I’ll quit. I promise.”
I swallow around the lump in my throat. The medical bills she speaks of are nowhere near almost paid for, but I refuse to argue with her on that. Not while I’m so far away. “Okay. I’m holding you to that.”
She laughs once more, and I can’t help but smile. “Tomorrow is the big day, yes?”
The first meet of the season for the GymBulls is tomorrow, and I’m pumped. Tickets have already sold out, mostly to the student body, and that’s huge. Damien and Melissa weren’t sure what kind of support we’d have, but apparently, we have a lot. The students have wanted a gymnastics team, and they are about to get a stellar one. Man, I’m excited. “Yup. I’ve landed all my full twisting layouts.”
“Of course you have. You’re the best.” My grin grows as she goes on. “You’ll make sure to tag me on the Facebook?”
“Of course, Ma.”
“And you’ll send me pictures in the morning? Of you and that friend of yours.”
“Amelia.”
“Yes, Amelia,” she says but with more flair than my friend’s name needs. “I love her blue eyes.”
“Me too. She’s great. Though, I think she’s mad at me.”
“Why?”
“I said I’d go to her brother’s hockey game tonight, but I had a paper to do.”
“When’s it due? Next month?”
I smile. Mom knows me best. “Next week.”
“Ah, you should go out. Have fun, my bella. Let your hair down.”
I scoff. My hair is a curly hot mess that takes me hours to straighten. I’m not letting this mess down. “Ma, I can’t let my hair down. It’s a disaster all the time.”
“More of a reason,” she gushes, a
nd I smile. “Ah, I miss you so, my bella.”
“I miss you more, Ma.” When the door opens, I look up to see Amelia walking in. She’s on the phone.
“I don’t know, Mommy. Call him.” She shuts the door, throwing her bag down before kicking off the high heels she left in. I don’t know how she walked in that high a heel, but she sure was all kinds of hot in them. She looks upset, though, and I hope it’s not at me.
“Hey, Ma, let me call you tomorrow.”
“Yes, afterward, bella. Unless you need me in the morning.”
I smile. “I always need my mama.”
Her heart is in her voice as she says, “Love you, bella.”
“Love you.”
Laying my phone beside me, I let my gaze land on Amelia as she sits down, rubbing her feet. “Maybe talk to him tomorrow at the meet? Yeah, I don’t know. He was bummed because of some stupid pass or something. You know how he is. Dwells on stupid stuff. Yeah, I don’t know. Ask Uncle Shea, then. Yeah, okay, I love you too. See you tomorrow.” Amelia rolls her eyes, throwing her phone down.
“I’m sorry.”
She looks at me, confused. “Huh?”
Pushing my computer off my lap, I move my legs over the side of the bed and hold her gaze. I don’t know why I feel the need to apologize, but I realize it’s because I don’t want her to be mad at me. Shit, how did she become some important to me so quickly? “I’m sorry I didn’t go.”
She waves me off. “Girl, it’s fine. You wanted to get your paper done. I was good. You missed the hotness, though. There is this one guy, Moon. Lord. Almighty. Fine dot com.”
I smile. “I thought you were mad at me.”
She shakes her head. “Um, no. Unless you lie or steal from me, we’re good. No worries.”
“Won’t do either.”
“Then we’re good. We’re still besties. Can’t get rid of me that fast.” She flashes me a smile so big that I can’t help but smile back at her. She has this way about her. She’s so pretty, almost like a fairy. I’ve never been around a girl who just decides she wants to be my friend. Usually, girls only see me as competition. But not Amelia. She legit loves everyone and is by far the sweetest girl on the team. “I’m just worried about my brother.”
I pause as I reach for my computer. “Is he okay? Did they not win?”
“Oh no, girl, the Bullies are the best. They kicked ass, shut them out. But he did something that his coach got on him about, and now he’s sulking. He’s a perfectionist. Like you.”
I scoff. “I am no—” I pause when she gives me a look. “I’m not too bad.”
“You are, but it’s fine. I’m used to it. Between him and my cousin, Posey… Lord.”
“Posey?”
She laughs at the face I’m making. “Right? Like, why my aunt picked that name is beyond me. You have Shelly, Posey, Evan, Owen, and Quinnie, then me and Ryan. Posey is the weird one.”
I laugh, but I’ve moved on from her cousin’s funny name. I’m curious if Ryan is as good-looking as his sister. Because a dude with blazing blue eyes like hers, man, that would be hard to ignore. Though, I would. Don’t have time for guys. “Usually, the weird ones are the most fun.”
“Oh, Sof, you have no clue. Posey is so funny. I love her to death. She’s more a sister than a cousin.”
“Really?”
“Oh yeah. Do you not have cousins?”
“I do, and I love them, but we aren’t close. I was too busy in the gym.”
She shrugs. “Sure, I was too, but I still saw my cousins weekly.”
“That’s so nice.”
“It is, and they’re all insane.”
When she starts to undress, I look down at my computer to the one line I’ve written.
My name.
“Are you excited for tomorrow?”
I nod, though since I’m not sure she is looking at me, I say, “Yeah. I’m ready.”
“Me too, so ready. It’s gonna be amazing. They were setting up when I left the rink, Ryan and I were talking about how cool our mascot looks on the floor.”
A jolt of excitement runs through my body. “We’ll have to take a picture on it.”
“Oh, duh!” she gushes as she falls back on my bed in only a tee. “My mom will make us. She invited you to dinner this week if you want to go. I told her I wasn’t sure since, you know, we’ll be going to parties or something. We’re college girls now.”
As she gathers her hair, I smile down at her. “My mom wants pictures of us. She calls you the girl with beautiful blue eyes.”
She beams at me. “Will she be able to come to a meet?”
My stomach drops a bit, sadness crashing into me like a wave. “Probably not.”
“That’s sucks.” Amelia rolls onto her belly, leaning on her hands. “Don’t worry. My family is so huge, you’ll have all kinds of people cheering for you. When, really, you don’t need it.”
“I don’t?” I ask, and she gives me a look.
“Once everyone sees how amazing you are, you won’t be able to hear me, much less my family.”
I scoff. “Please.”
“You’ll see, and by the way, watch out, ’cause all the dudes will try to get some.”
I roll my eyes. “No way. I don’t have time for that.”
She groans. “You sound like Ryan.”
I make a face. “Your brother?”
“Yeah, he’s so driven. It’s annoying. Live a little.” She rolls off the bed, throwing herself onto hers. “What’s the point of being on our own, making our own choices, if we don’t get to make bad ones? We’ve been perfect our whole lives, especially in this sport.”
“True, but you don’t want to do something to ruin what you’ve worked for.”
She narrows her eyes. “I practice safe sex. I’m good.”
I laugh. “Well, that’s a plus.”
“So, yeah, live a little.”
“I am.”
“Oh yeah, writing a paper on a Friday night is so living.”
“Hey, it’s a fun paper.”
“You’re so boring,” she teases, and I laugh as she cuddles into her massive number of pillows. Really, why does she need twenty pillows? Once she’s settled, she gives me a look. “You wait… I’m gonna get you to let loose.”
A worried laugh leaves my lips. “Please don’t. I’ve never let go.”
“More of a reason to urge you to. We can get drunk.”
I laugh so hard my laptop falls off my lap onto the bed. “Um, no. That can slow me down.”
She thinks that over. “Yeah, I guess. So we’ll just make bad decisions and sleep with crappy dudes.”
“Why crappy?”
“Because good dudes will fall for us, and we don’t want to be tied down. I mean, jeez, Sofia, Look at us. We’re pretty damn hot.”
My laughter joins hers. “That we are.”
“And we don’t have time for that.”
“We don’t.”
“So, yeah, crappy guys.”
“With big dicks, right?”
“Huge.” Our laughter mingles before slowly dying off. She closes her eyes and murmurs, “Either way, I love your boring ass.”
As she drifts off to sleep, I have to hold back my laughter. I love her too, a lot, but I can’t help but be a little impressed with how I handled my end of that conversation. I really sounded like I knew what I was talking about. That I was all for it. Ha, not even. Amelia is a normal girl gymnast. She went to a damn good gym and is really talented. Her coach is friends with the GymBulls coaches, which is why she was able to come here on a scholarship. Being a regular girl, she went to school, she went to dances, and she had boyfriends.
I, on the other hand, trained at an elite gym. I trained to become an Olympian. I didn’t go to school; I was homeschooled. Which meant the only friends I had were the other girls in my gym. But even then, they weren’t my friends. I have never had a boyfriend. I’ve never kissed a boy or gone to bed with one. I trained, I slept, and I trained som
e more. Training was all that mattered. Boys didn’t.
Now, I’m in a place where boys are everywhere.
That freaks me the hell out.
Chapter Five
Ryan
“I don’t know why you’re upset about this.”
I look away, feeling stupid as Shea looks down at me. Toeing my dress shoe into the grass that’s outside of the hall people are gathering in for Amelia’s meet, I shrug. I hate feeling small. I’m not a small dude, but Shea has a way of making me feel small. Especially when I know I’m being ridiculous.
Before I can say anything, Shea says, “You know how many times I messed up? In and out of the NHL. It happens, Ryan. You’re only hurting yourself dwelling on it.”
I nod. “I know.”
“So, quit thinking about it. I can see it’s bothering you.”
“I just hate when Coach gets on to me.”
“Well, you better get used to it. My coaches rode my ass like a horse. It makes you a better player. You have to be able to take criticism. You have to be able to learn from it. Grow.”
“No, I know that,” I say. “But I thought it was a solid play.”
“Well, it could have been, but he wanted it better. He knows what you want, he knows what you’ve been working for. He isn’t a dumbass, Ryan. He’s a smart man—”
“I know that.”
“Then stop.”
I meet his heated gaze. I need this. Shea is a no-holds-barred kind of guy. He expects us to believe in ourselves the way he does, and I do. But man, for some reason, I’m still pissed about what happened. I don’t want to go into defensemen week with that on me. It worries me that Baylor will think I don’t want this. That I don’t want the NHL. I do. Fuck, I do.
“I believe in you. We all believe in you. Believe in yourself, bud.”
I swallow hard. “I do.”
“Ryan, that’s the one thing holding you back. Your confidence in yourself. It’s annoying as hell.”
“I know,” I say softly. I really don’t get it. I’m confident everywhere, I have to be, but if I mess up, my confidence is gone. It’s fucking frustrating.
“Then don’t do this. Enjoy your senior year, work hard, and know that your hard work will pay off.”