by Toni Aleo
But I can’t really think of anything but Ryan.
Ryan: I am exhausted. I just blew off my uncle. Which, let me tell you, I don’t do, and he will probably bitch at me tonight.
I can’t stop myself from quirking my lips.
Me: I’m sorry.
Ryan: Yeah, it’s all your fault.
Me: LOL! You didn’t have to leave.
Me: We were supposed to sleep.
Ryan: While you are absolutely right, I planned poorly and forgot to bring extra pants. I should have known better. My smoking hot girlfriend + me = a mess in my pants.
Ryan: BTW, it came out in the wash.
Me: That’s why you’re tired. You did laundry last night.
Ryan: Damn right, I did! Those are the only pair I have. What would I say to DJ? Sorry, smoking hot girl made me come in my pants.
I snort with laughter, holding my gut as my giggles fill the space I’m in.
Me: I’m pretty sure that would be a very memorable conversation and might give you the edge.
Ryan: Hell, I don’t need an edge. I’m awesome, but I don’t need that job full time. NHL baby, NHL.
Me: WOO! Go, Ryan, go!
Ryan: And now I’m picturing you in a cheerleading outfit. That ass. Spanks. Short skirt… I might ruin another pair of pants.
When he sends me an emoji of an eggplant with water drops beside it, my cackle is loud. He makes my stomach hurt. I lean my head back, laughing as I shake my head. He is impossible, but I absolutely love it.
Before I can text him back, Amelia falls onto the ledge beside me, shaking her head. “I want to go home.”
I lean into her, letting my phone fall between us. “Sorry. You don’t have to stay. I can do it by myself.”
She shakes her head, though. She blows a stray hair out of her eyes and then looks over at me. “I’m good. So, since we can finally breathe, I was surprised I didn’t see Ryan this morning.”
I try to hold back my smile. “Yeah, he left last night.”
“Oh? I thought he was staying the night?”
“Yeah, well…” I pause, and the giggle that leaves my lips doesn’t sound like me. But all I can think about is how he walked, wide-legged, holding the crotch of his pants out as he left. “He had to go change his pants.”
Amelia looks at me, her eyes scrutinizing mine. She must realize what I’m saying because her lips curl in disgust. “Ew, that’s gross.”
I didn’t think so. I thought it was kind of hot. “You asked.”
“You know, I thought I could handle hearing about you and Ryan together. I don’t think I can,” she decides, and I pucker my lips out at her.
“But who am I supposed to talk to, then?”
“Ugh,” she groans. “Why can’t you have other friends?”
“You monopolize me.”
“I do,” she agrees. “Okay, fine. So things went well?”
I sigh dreamily. “Things were absolutely amazing.”
“Okay, come out of the orgasm cloud and focus,” she teases, and I grin. “Did y’all get it done?”
I shake my head. “No, just fooling around.”
“Oh. Well, that’s a good start.”
It was a great start, but I want so much more. I bite my lip. I wanted to ask Ryan last night, but I had already embarrassed myself enough. I still can’t believe I said “oh” when I saw his dick. It was just so massive. I didn’t expect it to be so big or so hard. I felt like it was staring at me, beckoning to me, and the first thing that came to my mind was oh. I’m sure that little word did wonders for his ego. “So, I have a question.”
“Okay, hold on.” She closes her eyes. “Think of Justin Timberlake. No, Ryan Reynolds. No, mmm, Vaughn Johansson…mmm,” she moans, and I scrunch up my face.
“Huh?”
She peeks over to me with one eye. “I’m thinking of Vaughn Johansson, superhot hockey player with these eyes and this jaw. Rawr.”
I’m completely confused. “Why?”
“So that when you ask me this question, I don’t see my brother.”
“Oh, that’s smart.”
“Thank you. Proceed,” she says, waving her hand with a little contented grin on her face.
I laugh. “Do you want me to give you a few moments?”
She laughs. “Nope, I’d want a few hours with this fantasy, so go ahead and ask.”
Hours? Jeez.
I roll my eyes. “So how do I go about giving him a blow job?”
When she gags, I give her a dry look. “Fantasy gone. All I see is you on your knees in front of my brother. Ew. Double ew.”
“Are you done?” I ask, annoyed, and she shakes her head.
“Unfortunately not, but here we are.”
I feel stupid. “Really.”
She looks put out, but she brought this on herself. “You just take his cock and put it in your mouth.”
I continue to chew on my lip. “But then what?”
She gags once more. “Okay, Sof, I can’t tell you my tricks ’cause Ryan will know you asked me, and then it will ruin it for y’all. So my advice is to ask him.”
My eyes widen. “Huh? Ask him?”
“Yeah, get on your knees, put that ass in the air, and asks him how he wants you to suck him.”
My jaw drops. “That works?”
“Oh yeah, all day, every day. Dudes love it. That’s how I learned.”
I cock my head to the side. “Really?”
“Yeah, I was tired of not knowing how, so I dropped down between Drew’s legs and I said, tell me what to do. He ate that shit up and was coming within a minute.”
My eyes widen. “What did you do with the stuff?”
Holding my gaze, she waggles her brows at me. “You swallow it.”
Now I’m gagging. “It’s all sticky!”
“Yup, and not very tasty. Either that, or let him come all over your tits.”
I reach up, holding my nonexistent chest. “I don’t have any!”
She gives me an annoyed look. “Sofia, you have tits.”
“Ew.”
“Freaked out?”
“Yup,” I answer, and she smiles. “But I just want to do it all already.”
“I was the same way. I lost my virginity, gave head, and got eaten out all in the same day with Drew.”
“In one sitting?”
She laughs. “No! Gosh, you’re silly. Throughout the day. His parents were out of town, and we went at it all day.”
She looks away, her jaw taut, and I have that feeling again that something is going on. “Was it fun?”
“Yeah, it was,” she answers, moving her fingers into her apron. “Sometimes I miss doing it with him.”
“You do?”
“Yeah.”
“I miss Ryan,” I admit, and she grins. “I just want to do it with him. Get it done. I want him.”
She tries not to gag, but I know she wants to. “Aw, you’re so cute, all infatuated with him and stuff,” she teases.
I sigh loudly. “It’s more than that. He’s a wonderful guy.”
“For sure. It all seems so raw at first. This need to just be with them and consume them. Believe me, I know,” she says softly, and then she shrugs. “I don’t think you ever forget that feeling. I sure didn’t.”
I watch her for a moment, and she looks so sad. Something is seriously going on. “I don’t want to forget it,” I say, and she wraps her arms around me, hugging me tightly. “Is that wrong?”
“Not at all, but like I said, be careful. You have to remember his big break is coming. I can feel it.”
Her eyes are serious, and I nod. I assume she’s speaking of the NHL, and that bums me out. “I know.”
“Good.”
I hold her gaze. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
She rolls her eyes, letting her arms drop as she leans back. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s something,”
She toes the ground with her sneaker, tucking her hands into her apron once more a
s she chews on her lips. “I’ve been talking to Drew again.”
I knew that, but I play dumb. “Oh?”
“Yeah, and he wants me to come see him for winter break.”
“He does? Are you going to go?”
“I think so, which is why I’m working, ’cause I know my mom won’t pay for me to go. She wasn’t a fan of Drew.”
“Oh. Why? She seems to love everyone.”
“He wanted me to go with him, and she wanted me to stay here.”
“Oh,” I say softly, and she shrugs, annoyance coming off her in waves.
“Yeah, I don’t know. I’m gonna talk to Shelli about it.”
I’m confused. “What do you mean?”
She lets out a long sigh. “You tell Ryan any of this, and I’ll never talk to you again,” she warns.
I hold my hands up. “Never.”
Her foot taps the ground and she looks very nervous, but that isn’t Amelia. “He wants me to move to Philly with him. He just got a spot on the Flyers, and he wants me there with him. He wants to marry me.”
I gasp in a sharp breath, my eyes widening. “No way.”
“Yeah, I know it’s stupid. But I still love him, and a part of me wants to do it—”
“But you have a full ride here! The team, me… You can’t go, Amelia. Not yet, at least.”
“But I love him,” she stresses. “What you’re feeling right now with Ryan, that’s what I’ve felt since I met Drew. He is so important to me. I really do love him.”
“And if he loved you, he’d want you to achieve your dreams. It’s your dream to be here, competing and getting a great education, right?”
She shrugs, noncommittal. “Yeah, but I don’t want to lose him.”
My heart is pounding in my chest. I don’t know what she is thinking. This is her career, her goals. Giving it up for a guy is ludicrous. I couldn’t do that, but then I know damn well Ryan would never ask me to. I’m with her mom; I don’t like this Drew guy.
“I don’t know. I told you, I have to talk to Shelli. And then there is my mom and Ryan. They’re gonna freak if I decide to do it.”
“Which you shouldn’t,” I remind her, and she looks over at me. “If he loved you, he wouldn’t ask you to.”
“He’s there, though. He wants to be with me.”
“But you’re here, doing big things.”
She shrugs. “There is no reason to get upset. I don’t know if I’ll do it.”
“Well, I vote no,” I say definitively. I realize I don’t have a horse in this race, but this is insane to me. Surely, Shelli can talk some sense in her. They all seem pretty driven, and I don’t see this going well for Amelia.
I exhale heavily just as my phone sounds with a text message. I hold it up, and soon my annoyance is gone and a grin is on my face.
Ryan: I just wanted to tell you, I’ve been thinking about you nonstop. I think it’s awesome you’re working, even though you don’t have to, to get your mom here. You amaze me. I also think you’re pretty damn beautiful.
Breathless. He leaves me completely breathless.
Me: I can’t with you.
Ryan: Good, that’s what I wanted.
Ryan: But I’m taking a nap, so don’t text me back.
I snort, ignoring the looks from Amelia. I want to tell Ryan so bad, and I know he’d agree with me, but I promised I wouldn’t say anything.
So I won’t.
Me: Fine, but one thing.
Ryan: Yeah?
Me: What would you say if I said I think I just want to get it over with?
Ryan: ???
Me: I think we should just have sex and get my virginity out of the way.
Ryan: Well, there goes my nap.
He makes my day.
Most of all, I adore him even more because I know damn well he’d never ask me to leave my dreams behind to follow him.
And I’d never ask him.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Ryan
I’m starting to think this girl is out to kill me.
Sofia wasn’t sent to take me to oblivion with those sweet eyes and quick tongue. Nope, she was sent to push me into an early grave due to sexual frustration.
Sofia: I think we should just have sex and get my virginity out of the way.
She couldn’t say that last night before she had me coming in my pants?
I sit up in my bed.
Me: Okay, whoa. Pump those brakes, Sofia.
Sofia: What?
Me: What are you doing? Can we talk on the phone?
Sofia: I’m sitting with Amelia.
Sofia: Okay, never mind. She walked away.
I hit her name and wait only a second for her to answer.
“Hello?” she coos, and my cock jumps to attention.
“Stop that.”
She giggles. “Stop what?”
“Being a sex kitten. You’re killing me.”
More giggles. “I am not.”
“Oh yeah, you are. You tasted the juice, and now it’s all you want.”
She pauses. “I think the juice got on your pants.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose, and then I can’t contain it; I start laughing. Her soft, carefree laugh joins with mine, and fuck, my heart swells for this girl.
“I just wanted to nap.”
“Nap, then,” she says simply. “We can talk later. I’m coming to your game.”
I’m confused. “I thought you had to work.”
“Nope, I want to go.”
She’s not working for my sake? Don’t let that go to your head, Justice. “You sure?”
“Yeah, I’ve worked all day, and I’m coming back tomorrow.”
I struggle with that. I know how much she wants her mom to come visit. “Well, it means a lot to me that you want to come.”
“Of course. I love watching you.”
My voice drops. “Well, we know I love watching you. Breathing, flipping, moaning, you name it, it’s my jam.”
She takes in a deep breath. “So, what do you say? Tonight?”
My body goes tight. “That is not fair.”
“What?”
“You want me to play a game with a hard cock? Don’t say things like that. We don’t need to plan it.”
“I want to do it, get it over with,” she says, and I shake my head.
“First off, we aren’t gonna get it over with. I want this to be special for you.”
She sighs softly. “Ryan, that’s incredibly sweet if we were sixteen. But I’m almost nineteen. It’s time.”
“Actually, there is never a time when it shouldn’t be special. Any dude who wouldn’t make this special for you is a complete douche, and I’ll kick his ass.”
“Um, I thought we were dating.”
“Yeah, we are,” I say, and then slowly I take in a breath. I need to rein in the crazy. “So it’s my job to make this special.”
“Ryan—”
“No. I want to plan it. Flowers, candles, rose petals covering a bed, all that shit.”
She scoffs. “All that shit?”
“Yeah, maybe some chocolate-covered strawberries and loads of condoms. Loads. Like a Costco-size box.”
Her laughter makes everything tight. “Was that how your first time happened?”
I snort. “Fuck no. I was at a party, and I did her in the corner. It was awkward. I missed the hole like three times before I got it right.”
When she starts laughing so hard she can’t breathe, I smile to myself. Wasn’t one of my finest moments, but I was a sixteen-year-old kid with one agenda. Fuck something and do it quick so I wouldn’t be made fun of. I hate that for my sixteen-year-old self now, but back then, it worked.
“You’re lying!”
“Nope. Dead serious,” I say, lying back in my bed and propping my head up on my arm. “It was quick and over before I knew it.”
“So why can’t we do that? Why did you do that to her?”
“Because she was nineteen and had already slept wi
th half the team. I wasn’t special to her, and she wasn’t special to me.”
“Well, that’s depressing.”
“Exactly. Which is why I want more for you.”
She thinks that over, and I can practically see her chewing on her lip. “So, when?”
“I don’t know. We can make a date of going over dates together. I’ll buy you coffee, and I’ll get you off in my truck.”
My lips curve as I’m met with her laughter. “You’re insane.”
I let out a long breath that comes from deep inside me. “But you get it, right?”
“Get what?”
“Why I want to wait?”
“Yeah, I guess. But if you didn’t know I was a virgin—”
“Sofia, I didn’t know you were a virgin when I met you, but I knew I wanted to be with you. That I wanted more than a roll in the sheets with you. Because if it were the other way around, I’d have thrown you on the table after that run and fucked you stupid, even with a bloody leg.”
She takes in a deep breath. “You weren’t playing… You do like it dirty.”
I smirk. “And hard.”
“Oh my.”
I chuckle. “But with you, I want it to be perfect. I want to be gentle, and at the end of it all, I want you always to think of your first time as the best.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, believe me, it’s a struggle being a gentleman, but I’m pretty sure I’d have a line of people who would kick my ass if I weren’t.” I’m answered with a breathy sigh, and I close my eyes, wishing she were here. “Also, I would want this for my sister or my cousins. Don’t tell me if you already know something I don’t want to know.”
She snorts. “Lips sealed.”
“Good.”
“Ryan.”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
My heart clenches in my chest. “Sofia.”
“Yes?”
“You deserve that and more, believe me. I knew that at first glance.”
I can hear her swallow. “Can I see you after the game?”
“There was no other option.”
Her voice drops a bit. “Good. I gotta get back.”
“Okay. I’ll see you tonight.”
“I’ll be the one screaming loudly for number nine.”
My heart does a wild jig in my chest. “And I’ll be the one scoring for you.”
All while falling so fucking hard for her.