by Toni Aleo
“I’ll wait forever for you.”
He presses his hand to his heart, his eyes closing as he shakes his head. “Don’t.”
“I will,” I promise once more. “Forever, I’ll wait. I love you.”
He’s speechless, his eyes wide as I turn, knowing damn well I will.
I fucking will.
Chapter Forty-Three
Ryan
My heart still hasn’t stopped pounding in my chest.
Pretty sure I’ve busted a few ribs from its aggressive beating.
But then, watching Sofia have the best meet of her collegiate career, and knowing her mom was here to see it, it’s worth it. I wanted to surprise her, and I think I did just that. But what I didn’t expect was for her to surprise me.
I love you.
Oh God, those words are on repeat in my head. Her eyes full of tears, her lip quivering as she wrapped herself around me. The way she said it, with such passion, such promise, will forever be seared on my brain. Fuck, it was perfect. And the joy and the love it filled me with were almost too much to bear. Except, now I don’t know what to think.
My whole family sits in my mom’s kitchen, including Uncle Shea and my cousins who just got back from Posey’s game. One of Sofia’s hands is in mine while she holds her mom’s hand with the other. Her mom isn’t what I expected. I expected some frail person who was losing a battle with a disease, but Valeria Castilleja is not that. She’s so full of life. She’s very skinny, which Sofia complains is because of the meds her mom is on, but even with that, she’s beautiful. Her eyes are like Sofia’s, a bright hazel, while her hair is a mess of dark curls that she has up in a bright-pink clip. Her face is round, and her lips are thin. She has wrinkles along the side of her mouth and eyes, but she’s as sharp as a tack. You’d never know she is fighting MS, which I think gives Sofia some comfort.
“I think that one judge was stuck-up—9.995. Really? What was the .005 she took off for?”
My mom laughs, we all do, but she says, “I said the same thing! Didn’t I, Elli?”
“Yes, it was bullshit.”
“I thought it was a ten for sure,” I say, and Sofia sends me a sweet grin that, if I weren’t sitting, would knock me on my ass.
“I probably didn’t point my toes on my layouts or something small.”
“Bullshit,” Elli complains again, and we all laugh.
“Ah, I tell you, you should have seen my bella at the finals back when she was ten. She was stunning, the best out there. She gave all these sixteen-year-old girls a run for their money. She looked as if she was flying. It was magnificent to witness.”
Sofia smiles proudly as she shakes her head in dismay. “I fell off the beam.”
“And still got a 9.6. The difficulty of the skill, eh, bella?”
“A back full,” she says shyly, and Amelia’s mouth drops.
“Shut up.”
Sofia shrugs. “Yeah, I fell. I was so mad.”
“At ten! I think the hardest thing I did was a damn cartwheel.”
My mom smiles. “And she fell on those all the time.”
“Thanks, Mom,” Amelia jokes, and everyone laughs.
“Ah, yes, it was crazy, and she would have landed it—”
“But I popped my hip out,” Sofia supplies, but as I look around the room, everyone is gawking at them. “It really wasn’t that big of a deal.”
“Guys, the skill she is talking about is what she does in her beam routine now, the twist out of a back handspring,” Amelia adds.
Oh shit. “You did that at ten?” I ask, my eyes widening, and she shrugs.
“I told you, I didn’t leave the gym.”
Ms. Castilleja nods. “Never. From age three until eighteen, she only slept at my house. She had no downtime.”
“How was that for you?” my mom asks. “Did you miss her?”
“Constantly, but she wanted to go to the Olympics, and I believe in her.”
Sofia leans into her, pressing her chin to her mom’s shoulder. “I blew that, though.”
“No,” Ms. Castilleja says, shaking her head. “Your body failed. Your mind was very much an Olympian.”
Sofia scoffs as she looks over at me, a small smile on her face. I reach over, moving a piece of hair out of her eyes. “Have you guys seen the video of her doing the skill that broke her knee?”
“Oh, Mom, no. Don’t show that. It’s awful.”
I’m already up and out of my seat. “No, I wanna see it.”
“Me too!” Amelia gushes as she, Shelli, and Posey come over to Ms. Castilleja. She pulls out her phone, and it takes her a few moments of clicking before a video of a younger Sofia fills the screen.
“Ah, yes, here it is,” Ms. Castilleja says just as Sofia comes on the screen, a few inches shorter than now, with her hair in a tight bun on her head.
“My name is Sofia Castilleja. I am fourteen years old, and this is a double back tuck with a triple twist.”
The camera pans out, and Sofia takes off across the purple floor. She does some cartwheel, getting so much air, and it’s badass, until she hits the floor. Her leg goes one way and her knee another.
We all cry out in distress.
“Oh, that was gnarly!” Posey yells, shaking her head. “I don’t know how you came back from that.”
“I knew I wanted to be a gymnast,” Sofia answers simply as I sit back down, her hand finding mine once more. “I had goals.”
“Yes, she is so very ambitious. Her coach was completely against her coming here, but she came anyway. She knows what she wants, and she doesn’t back down.”
Isn’t that the damn truth? I drink in Sofia’s profile as a little smile pulls at her lips. She turns, her eyes burning into mine. “Some people love that about me.”
“I do,” I say softly, and Amelia gags.
“Get a room.”
Ms. Castilleja laughs as she reaches over Sofia to me, cupping my face. “Ah, leave him alone. He’s a doll.”
“He is pretty great,” Sofia says, but her mom isn’t done squeezing my face.
“He calls me and tells me, ‘I’m Ryan Justice. I’m dating your daughter, and I want you to come to Tennessee so I can surprise Sofia and meet you in person. Will you let me bring you here?’ So polite and kind.”
Sofia’s eyes burn into mine. “Really?”
“Yeah, I wanted to make sure it was okay.”
“You’re the best.” Her words knock me hard in the chest.
Her mom laughs. “He is,” she agrees. “You’ve raised a good boy, Mrs. Justice.”
“We sure do love him around here. And I’ve told you since we left Nevada, call me Grace.”
Ms. Castilleja waves her off. “Ah, yes, Grace, sorry. You’re too kind to me. All of you, so kind.”
“We’re so glad to have you. Sofia talks about you all the time. It’s so nice to put a face with the stories,” Mom says, patting her free hand.
“Yes, right? I feel the same. She talks and talks about Amelia, Shelli, Shea, and Elli. Wait, did you two put your names together for hers?”
Shea smiles proudly as Elli rolls her eyes. “Yup, pretty proud of that.”
Sofia’s mom nods, pointing at Shea with a grin on her face. “Clever. I like it.”
Shelli rolls her eyes, but we all laugh. Ms. Castilleja looks to Sofia, a wide smile on her weathered face. “No wonder you’re happy here.”
Her fingers tighten in mine. “Yeah, I’m pretty lucky.”
“No, we’re lucky,” Mom says, smiling. “We love her dearly.”
“Ah, that’s wonderful. I worry,” she says before leaning in and kissing Sofia’s face. Before she backs away, she presses her finger to the pendant I got Sofia for Christmas. “My God, this is stunning in person.”
Sofia takes it between her fingers. “It’s the most amazing thing ever.”
“It is,” Ms. Castilleja says before winking at me. “You did good.”
I smile proudly, even though all I did was ask my mom
for it, but I do love it. Before I can comment, though, Amelia asks, “Do you have any more videos of Sofia?”
Ms. Castilleja laughs out loud, reaching for her phone once more. “Yes, Amelia, love. Come here. I’ll show you everything I have.”
Everyone gathers around Ms. Castilleja except Sofia and me. She is looking at her mom, and I’m looking at her, admiring every single detail of her gorgeous face. “Mom, when do you have to leave?”
“I head out Monday. Yes, Ryan?”
I nod as they both look at me. “Yeah, at three,”
“Oh darn. You’ll miss Ryan’s birthday. It’s Tuesday.”
Her mom looks at me with her brow furrowed. When she nods, she’s grinning at me as she says, “I’ll cook for you this weekend.”
Sofia bounces in her seat as she looks back at me, an excited look on her face. “My mom is the best cook. It’s, like, the best gift ever.” She then drops her voice as she says, “And she only does it for people she likes.”
I chuckle lightly. “I can’t wait.”
As sounds come from Ms. Castilleja phone and everyone turns their attention back to it, Sofia looks to me once more. “You don’t want to see?”
I shake my head. “Actually, do you think we can sneak away real fast?”
She waggles her brows at me, and I laugh. “I’m sure I can get away for two minutes.”
I smile as she gets up. “We’ll be right back.”
With her hand still in mine, she pulls me up, and we walk out of the room. We head up the stairs, but before we reach my bedroom, I stop her. She looks back at me, a grin growing on her face before she presses her chest to mine. She rises up on her toes, touching her lips to mine, and I slide my hands down to the small of her back, pulling her in closer. I drink from her mouth, enjoying her sweet taste and thick lips against mine.
When she pulls back, she gazes up into my eyes. “I can’t begin to thank you for what you’ve done.”
“You don’t need to.”
“Ryan, you went out of your way—”
“I wanted to. I wanted to make you happy.”
Her smile spreads across her beautiful face, and she says, “Oh, you did. So much so.”
“Then that’s thanks enough,” I say, my lips moving against hers. “Listen—”
“Wait, sorry. Do you think your mom would mind if I stayed the night here too?”
I smile. “Yeah, I already made sure it was okay for us to stay.”
Her eyes light up. “I didn’t want to just expect you to. I’m so glad you asked, though.”
I cuddle her closer to my chest. “Think I’m going to let you sleep in my bed without me?”
“I was hoping not.” She tucks her hands under my chin, and I lean against them.
“Well, you hoped right,” I say, kissing her top lip. “Listen—”
“She looks good, right? I think she looks really good. Maybe moving in with my aunt Tia was a good idea.”
I nod. “For sure. She’s happy.”
“So happy,” she gushes, and I press my forehead to hers. Our eyes lock, and fuck, I love her so much. I sigh deeply, and she eyes me. “What?”
“I wanted to talk to you about what you said at the meet.”
She raises one eyebrow. “Which is?”
“That you loved me.”
Her face breaks into a grin. “Don’t act like that’s shocking news. I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m in love with you.”
“Well, I wanted you to be. And I love you. But I know it isn’t a good idea.”
She gives me a sarcastic look. “Then don’t be so irresistible.”
“I’ll work on that,” I say, my lips quirking at one side.
“You should, especially with you leaving and all. I don’t want to have to come wherever you are and fight off chicks with a hockey stick. I’ll get lessons from Amelia and Posey, mind you.” I snort at that while she grins up at me. “Did you really mean it when you said you loved me from the moment you met me?”
My heart swells in my chest. “I think so, but—”
“But what? What’s wrong with that? That’s perfect.”
“No, Sofia, listen to me. As much as I want this to work if I leave, I don’t think it’s fair to you.”
She lets out a harsh breath, glaring up at me. “This shit again?”
“Yes, listen. Seriously,” I say when she moves out of my arms. “You were a virgin when you met me. Don’t you want to see what it’s like with other guys?”
She scrunches up her face. “No, do you want to be with other girls?”
I scrunch up my face just as much as she did. “Not at all, but I’ve been with girls before you. Can you honestly say you’re fine just being with me?”
“Yeah,” she says with no hesitation at all. “I saved myself for a very long time. Mostly out of fear and a lack of time to get down to business. But there were plenty of times I could have done something before I met you, and I didn’t. I wanted it to be with someone I not only loved but I trusted. That’s you. So I really don’t know why you keep bringing this up.”
“Because there are more guys out there than just me—”
“Not for me,” she says abruptly, her gaze holding mine. “I love you, Ryan James Justice. Only you. I only want you. I only want to be with you. Just you.”
“Sofia—”
“So you need to decide if I’m enough—”
“There is nothing to decide,” I say, running my fingers through my hair. “Fuck, baby, I love you. So much. But I don’t want to expect you to be satisfied with just me. With only seeing each other every once in a while. That’s not fair to you.”
She presses her palm to her chest, and her eyes are fiery. “Let me decide what’s fair, okay? And how dare you say I shouldn’t be satisfied with just you? You’d better be satisfied with just me because that’s all you’re getting if we’re going to do this. I am lucky to be with you, as you are with me, and I fucking want to do this.”
Her face is flushed, but her eyes don’t leave mine. I do the same, my heart slamming in my chest. I don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong. “So you’ll be fine with a long-as-hell-distance relationship?”
“If I get to see you and I get to talk to you daily, yes. I’ll be fine because you make this easy. This love between us, Ryan, it’s amazing. I’m not asking you to marry me. I just want to you to try with me.”
I swallow thickly, shaking my head. “And what if I don’t make it?”
She tilts her head in surprise. “What?”
I look away, inhaling roughly, and I can’t believe I’m about to say this. “If I don’t make it into the NHL, what does that mean for us?”
I can’t bear to look at her. This girl is everything I want. I didn’t plan on throwing it out there, but I need to know. A few seconds pass, and when I look at her, she’s squinting at me.
“If you don’t make it into the NHL? I don’t understand.”
“Will you want to be with me?” I demand, holding my hand out to her. “I’ll be a fucking failure. Some dude who couldn’t even get in the NHL like he thought he would.”
Her eyes narrow further, and she shakes her head in confusion. “Is there a chance you won’t?”
I look away, closing my eyes. “I don’t know. Maybe. I don’t—”
She closes the distance between us, grabbing my face in her hands. “Ryan, yes, I will want to be with you no matter what because you are anything but a failure. You are smart, you are kind, and funny. Your heart is stunning. Ryan, you are my everything. The person who lifts me up after a shit day, the guy I want to share my joy with on a great day, and the only person I want to see when I wake up. I want you to make it into the NHL so, so bad, I do. Because you are absolutely amazing, and you want it so much. But if you don’t, then I won’t lie, I won’t be upset.”
“You won’t? But you’re so ambitious. You have all these plans—can you honestly be with someone who fails?”
“Yes, because
we can make new plans together. Ryan, I’m not in love with you because of your goals or your dreams. I’m in love with you for you and the fact that you have dreams and goals. Don’t you see that?”
I swallow hard as I gaze into her eyes. It’s hard to believe, but her eyes are as clear as a promise. She wants me. Only me. Why? She could have the world, and she’s settling for me? “So it’s not ’cause I’m a sexy hot hockey player?”
Her lips curve as she slowly shakes her head. “No, not at all.”
“You really aren’t a normal girl.”
“You knew that coming into this,” she deadpans.
“I did.” I wrap my arms around her, pressing my nose to hers. “And I wouldn’t change you for anything.”
“Exactly. The same for me. I love you. Only you.”
I close my eyes, pressing our noses together as my heart explodes in my chest. “I love only you too.”
“Good,” she says, and when I open my eyes, she’s staring at me. “So don’t do this again. You hear me? If you make it, we’re doing this. If you don’t, we’re still doing this. I don’t know if you get it or not, but you’re basically stuck with me for as long as you want me.”
“And you want me.”
She nods, her eyes full of all the promise her little body can muster. “Which, for me, is forever.”
“Forever, you say?”
“Forever.”
I slide my fingers into her hair, cupping her by the back of the head. “That’s a really long time,” I say past the emotion that is choking me.
“Actually, it’s nowhere near enough time.”
God, she leaves me speechless.
“I fucking love you, Sofia.” Before she can tell me the same, I take her lips with mine.
As she melts into me and I melt into her, I don’t know what I want for the future.
But as long as she is with me, I’m ready.
Chapter Forty-Four
Sofia
I’m beyond excited that my mom is here for Ryan’s game, especially since we’re winning by four. Ryan even scored a goal. While Amelia says it was a lucky redirect off some guy’s skate, to me, it’s a goal, and I’m pretty giddy over it.