15
Three days went by, and Ronnie still hadn't read through the messages that Amy had sent her. She wanted to, but the idea of seeing what Amy had to say absolutely terrified her.
She sat anxiously at the nurses station, tapping her fingers and jiggling her feet as she waited impatiently for the last two hours of her shift to go by. The moment she got off she was going to make the call－she was going to tell Amy how crazy she was about her, and how much she wanted to be with her.
Ronnie started to type in one of her patients charts when she felt a buzz in her pocket. She looked around for any of her supervisors before pulling her phone out, her heart pounding.
The buzzing ended up only being a weather notification. Ronnie stared at her screen for a moment, hitting random buttons until she got to her messages icon. She opened her conversations and took a deep breath before biting the bullet and reading all of the unread messages from Amy. At least this way, she knew at least partially what Amy was thinking about their night together.
[Received: 03/12/2020. 04:23. From: Amy] when did you go home last night? I don't remember walking you out.
[Received: 03/12/2020. 07:48. From: Amy] I guess I fell back asleep. Seriously, though, when did you leave? The last thing I remember is watching a movie with you.
[Received: 03/12/2020. 07:52. From: Amy] (image received)
[Received: 03/12/2020. 07:53. From: Amy] You left your socks here, silly goose. I'll throw them in my laundry.
[Received: 03/12/2020. 08:05. From: Amy] How much did we drink last night? My head feels like there are Legos being bounced off it, and I haven't even picked up Tommy or Morrie yet.
[Received: 03/12/2020. 10:10. From: Amy] Are you asleep again? I miss you, Ronnie. Wake up!
Missed call: 11:27
[Received: 03/12/2020. 12:16. From: Amy] . . . Oh, my God. I just realized why you aren't answering me.
[Received: 03/12/2020. 12:21. From: Amy] We had sex last night, didn't we.
[Received: 03/12/2020. 14:46. From: Amy] I'm so sorry, Ronnie. You were upset about Kenny, and you were vulnerable, and I took advantage of the situation. I never should have kissed you like that.
[Received: 03/12/2020: 16:19. From: Amy] Not that I didn't want to kiss you, because I did, but because I shouldn't have done anything when you weren't sober enough to consent. I shouldn't have asked you to go upstairs with me. I'm so, so sorry.
Missed call: 17:23
Missed call: 18:40
Missed call: 19:00
[Received: 03/12/2020. 19:02. From: Amy] Can you answer the phone, please? I need to know what we are going to be okay.
[Received: 03/12/2020. 20:59. From: Amy] I understand if this changes things between us. You don't want me back, that's completely okay. I just want you in my life. I am more than fine with just being friends, but you're my best friend, Ronnie. Please call me back.
[Received: 03/12/2020. 22:17. From: Amy] I won't act on my feelings again, Ronnie, I promise, and I'm so sorry if I made you feel like you had to kiss me or like you had to sleep with me. I never wanted to make you feel like that.
[Received: 03/12/2020. 23:55. From: Amy] I'm here, whatever you need. I'll see you around, Ronnie.
“Finally reading those messages, huh?”
Ronnie jumped, looking up to see Laci standing next to her. She put her hand on her chest and breathed in and out to catch her breath before handing Laci her phone. “She sent me more messages after you went home.”
Laci took the phone and started going through the messages, her eyes widening as she read through to the end. “Whoa.”
“Yeah.” Ronnie took her phone back. She leaned her side against the counter, chewing on her thumbnail nervously. “I'm going to go for it. I really, really like her.”
“Then call her!”
“I'm going to, after work." She moved on from her thumbnail to the rest of her nails. “Should I text her back, let her know I'm going to call? Or should I go over there?” Her breathing quickened. “Laci, I don't know what to do.”
“Sweetie, breathe. Calm down.” She put her hand on Ronnie's shoulder and took a few deep breaths to show Ronnie what to do. “I think you two need to talk in person, but I would call her when you're on your way so she doesn't panic when you just show up. You want things to be as easy as possible on the two of you.”
Ronnie nodded and took a deep breath, sliding her phone back in her pocket. She started to work on her files again, but before she could, she was interrupted when her supervisor, Dominick, walked up to the nurses station with a distressed look on his face.
Laci leaned against the counter, her brow furrowed and her arms crossed. Dominick was always the picture of serenity, even when things were chaotic in the ward. “What's wrong, Dominick?”
Dominick ran his hand through his thinning sandy hair and sighed. “We are going to have a rough several days ahead of us, ladies. There was a major bus crash at that elementary school a few blocks away from here, Archway, and all of our intensive care units are filled to the brim. Several of the children have been moved to trauma surgery, a few to the TSU, and the remainder are getting transferred to us. We are getting the ones that are strong enough not to need constant care, but not strong enough to only be checked on three or four times a day.” He took a deep breath. “We are going to be working around the clock to make sure that these kids stay okay.”
Laci pulled her hair up into a ponytail and pushed back her bangs. “How many kids are we looking at?”
“All-together? Seventy-eight, plus more than a dozen adults who were injured on the scene.” At the shocked looks on Ronnie and Laci's faces, he nodded and pursed his lips grimly. “There will be thirty-three children in our care. Seven children were killed during the accident, and nearly two dozen are going to be discharged by the end of the night.”
Ronnie shook her head, dropping her pen at the numbers. “Oh, my God. What happened?”
Dominick put his fists on the counter and stretched until his face was parallel to the floor, holding the pose until his back popped. He straightened and stood up. “One of the drivers had just put his bus into drive when he had a seizure and pressed his foot down on the gas. He slammed into another bus, which slammed into another, which slammed into another. It was a domino effect of buses.”
Ronnie let out a breath and shook her head. Bus crashes were scary when just one vehicle was involved, but a whole line of them? “Which patients are getting moved up here? Do they all have the similar injuries, or is there a little bit of everything?”
“Its a hodgepodge of destruction. Head wounds, concussions, a couple of collapsed lungs . . . one kid even lost a hand,” Dominick said, counting off on his fingers before drumming his fingers on the counter. “For now, we will put the children two to a room and group them by how much care they need. We will get everyone moved around and settled down once we know more information.” He glanced down at his beeper when it let out a shrill shriek. “It looks like some of the kids are coming up now.”
Dominick turned and started to walk quickly down the hallway, his shoes squeaking against the floor and his dark-blue scrubs a blur. Laci and Ronnie looked at each other before following him, their steps nearly as quick as his.
The duo had just reached the end of the hall when the first group of children were wheeled off the elevator, their parents close behind. Ronnie watched them pile off and took in the extent of the children's injuries before freezing in place.
There, stepping out of the elevator, was Ronnie's sister. Natasha was looking as prim and proper as ever in a crisp white shirt, a black pencil skirt, and a pair of bright-red stilettos, her purse dangling from her arm and her phone pressed against her ear. She was following two transport aids with a look of panic on her face. When she saw Ronnie, she glanced at Miles' tiny body before rushing down the hall and grabbing her sister by the hand.
“Ronnie, you have to help Miles,” Natasha pleaded, pulling her sister towards the transport aids and t
urning off her phone. “He was in a bus accident, and one of his lungs collapsed. Ella and Josephine are with the nanny, but she has to leave in less than two hours so I need you to fix Miles right away so I don't have to bring the girls up here. I need you to make sure that he gets his own room, too, I don't think want anyone else's germs contaminating my little boy－”
“Miles is going to have to share a room. We have way too many children in critical care coming up here to accommodate single rooms for every one of them.” Ronnie shook her hand out of Natasha's grip. “We'll do everything we can to help him, but its not going to instantaneous, Natasha. It's going to take several days for Miles to be well enough to go home.“ She put her hands behind her back as Natasha tried to grab at her again. “I can't treat him, but I promise that he's in great hands.”
Natasha curled her upper lip and scrunched her nose. “Why can't you treat him? I don't want some random nurse coming in and touching my son. How do I know they're clean?”
It took all of Ronnie's patience not to put her entitled sister in her place. “We can't treat family, Natasha. It's against policy.” She looked over Natasha's shoulder to see Laci waving her down. “I have to go, but someone will be with you shortly, promise.”
Ronnie reached down and squeezed Natasha's hand before stepping around her and walking over to the rest of the nurses. She stood by Laci, crossing her arms and rocking back on her heels.
Laci glanced down the hall before leaning toward Ronnie. “Your sister is so much hotter in person than she is in pictures,” she whispered, fanning herself and gaping.
Ronnie rolled her eyes. “She's a bitch who thinks we treat the lowest of the low. Wonder how she feels now that it's her son that needs our help.”
Laci opened her mouth to respond, but before she could say anything, Dominick cleared his throat and waved his clipboard for silence. “Okay, everyone, listen up. The kids are starting to get moved so I'll make it quick－its going to be crazy around here until these kids recover. A few of you will be doubling up with your normal patients, and the rest of you will be helping me and the other supervisors with the overflow. I just want to say before we start that I know each of you will do your best to make sure each and every one of these kids are okay. I don't want you to burn out because of the stress ahead. If you need to take a few extra minutes between patients, that is more than fine. Just remember, moments like this is why all of you are nurses.”
Dominick glanced down at his clipboard before listing off the assignments, sending Laci to treat the collapsed lungs, and Ronnie to man the internal bleeding rooms. Once he had told everyone where to go, he smiled at them. “I believe in all of you. Now get to work.”
Ronnie shook her head and looked over at Laci, holding out her fist for Laci to bump. “Good luck.”
“Yeah, you, too.”
Laci went down the hall in the direction they had come from, and Ronnie went the other direction to where two young boys were being wheeled into a room. They looked like they were ten or eleven, and were proudly showing their bruises off to one another. There were three girls getting wheeled into another room across the hall, and before Ronnie could take note of the girls' appearances, two more beds were rolled into the hallway.
Ronnie took a deep breath and went into the first room.
Time to get to work.
16
It took three weeks, but eventually all the chaos calmed down enough that Ronnie could take a breath. She scribbled her signature on her last patient's chart before yawning, closing her eyes and covering her mouth with the sleeve of her jacket. She made her way over to the nurses station, dropping her clipboards to the counter and collapsing in a chair next to Laci.
“All of my patients are gone,” Ronnie said, kicking her feet out in front of her and popping her back along the top of the chair.
Laci's put her own pen down and pushed her charts away, making a face at Ronnie before rubbing her eyes. “I still have one to go before I can leave.” She glanced down at her watch, letting out a groan at the time. “It'll be at least two more hours before I get out of here. God, I can't wait to get home and sleep for, like, five days.”
Ronnie nodded. “I know the feeling. I'm going to pass out so hard tonight.”
“Bethany said she's making dinner before she comes in tonight so if you want to swing by my apartment before you go home and grab a bite to eat, feel free to do so.” She flushed at the mention of her girlfriend. “She's making some kind of pasta dish, so there is going to be plenty if you want to take enough for a few days. Then you won't have to cook.” She picked up her pen and began to work again.
Ronnie shook her head. She was already hungry, but she had more important things to do. After three weeks of no contact, she was going crazy over not seeing or hearing from Amy, especially with how they were in each other's pockets before they slept together. “Thanks for the offer, but I have some things I need to do. I, uhm, I still need to go talk to Amy and let her know how I feel.”
Laci's eyes widened. For a moment, the only sound in the hallway was the sound of her pen clattering to the desk before she exclaimed, “You still haven't talked to her?! I thought you were going to call her, let her know that everything was okay!”
Ronnie put her hand on the back of her neck, rubbing it nervously. “I, uhm, I meant to, but with all of the insanity over the last few weeks . . . time just got away from me.” She bit her lip, her hunger fading away as the nerves took over and tied her stomach into knots. “I've been passing out as soon as I get home, and with all the overtime we’ve been working . . . ”
Laci raised an eyebrow, and Ronnie sighed. She knew she was just making excuses. She could have called Amy during the twenty minute drive home, or even sent a text during a three-minute bathroom break. She pursed her lips and looked down at the ground, her guilt morphing into shame at what a coward she had been. “I'm going to make things right with her. It's just . . . what if she's changed her mind?” She looked back up. “What if the space was enough for her to realize that sleeping with me was just a drunken mistake?”
“Well, if that's the case, then you deserve to be part of that discussion, too.” She reached out and took Ronnie's hand, squeezing it lightly. “Either way, text me later and let me know how it goes, all right?”
“All right. Do you need anything before I go?”
“No, thank you.”
“I'll see you later,” Ronnie said, giving Laci a tight grin before stuffing her hands in her pockets and going to the employee lounge. The room was empty, but Ronnie still gave a quick glance around before collapsing in one of the chairs. She put her head in her hands and took a deep breath before standing back up and going over to her locker. She made quick work of pulling a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt out of her bag and changed clothes, shoving her scrubs back into her locker and shutting the door.
Ronnie glanced at her phone and shoved it in the front pocket of her purse before pulling it back out and unlocking the screen. She started to pull up Amy's contact information before locking her phone and shoving it back into her purse, keeping her hand wrapped around the plastic case. “Just call her . . . ” she mumbled, chewing on her lip and tapping her thumb against the case rapidly. “What is the worst that could happen?”
She pulled her phone back out and hit the call button . . . only to pull her finger away before the call connected. She groaned again and threw her phone down again, zipping up her purse before talking herself out of it. If Amy didn't know that she was coming, then Amy didn't have a chance to tell her that she didn't want to see her. On the other hand, if Amy wasn't home . . .
Ronnie shook her head. She had made a choice, and she needed to stick with it. If Amy wasn't home, then Ronnie would call her.
Ronnie went down to the parking lot and started to walk towards her car. When she got within viewing distance of the vehicle, she froze, her stomach dropping for a reason that had nothing to do with her nerves. There, leaning against her car, was Kenny, hi
s arms crossed over his stomach and his legs crossed at the ankles. He was looking around and running his fingers through his hair, pulling on his clothes and scuffing his feet.
When Kenny saw Ronnie, he pushed himself off the car and started to walk towards her. Ronnie shook her head and held up a hand, so Kenny nodded and leaned back once again.
He twisted his lips up to the side and shoved his hands in his pockets, his already-messy hair getting crazier as the wind blew it.
Ronnie could feel herself getting annoyed as she got close to Kenny. She rubbed her face and walked over to the car. “What do you want, Kenny?” She unlocked her car and gestured for Kenny to move away from the driver’s side door.
Kenny crossed his arms again and stepped to the side. “I was hoping that we could talk.”
Ronnie shook her head. “You had plenty of time to talk to me before I found you sleeping with her. I would have understood if you told me that you had feelings for someone else. It would have hurt, but I would have understood.” She gave him a pointed look.
Kenny returned her glare, his eyebrows raised. “Just like you told me you’re into Amy?”
Ronnie’s stomach clenched. “That’s different. I'm not in the wrong, here. You're the one who cheated on me.”
Kenny rolled his eyes. “Different, how? Ronnie, it’s the same thing. You were with Amy emotionally, and I was with Carrie physically. Yeah, I should have been honest, but you should have been, too.”
Ronnie sighed and opened the door. “Look, if we are going to have this conversation, get into the car. It’s too cold to stand out here.”
Kenny nodded and walked around to the passenger side. Ronnie hesitated for a moment before getting in. She started the engine and leaned back in her seat, letting the car warm up.
For several minutes, the duo was silent. Eventually, Kenny was the one to break the tension. “What makes how you feel about Amy any different than how I feel about Carrie?”
In Her Hands Page 11