“Do you want to know what I’m doing today?” he continues, as if there isn’t tension between us so thick you could cut it and watch it bleed. “I’m meeting with several informants. Likely, one of them works for the GMP. I just have to decide if it’s worth killing them all to make sure I get the right one.”
I have no idea what the hell to say to that, so I say nothing.
“Some queen you are,” Kali snorts, but I ignore her. At least the guys know I’m hallucinating now. That should go over well.
“What’s your point?” I ask, wondering if he expects some sort of reaction out of me.
“My point is,” Oscar tells me, his smirk as lascivious and wanton as I’ve ever seen on another human being. “You asked for me, so you’ve got me.”
“What the hell does that mean?” I ask as he drops his mug off in the sink and proceeds to ignore me. “Oh, don’t talk in circles around us,” I mimic, referencing the first day of school, when we all sat in the library together. “We really don’t like them.”
“You’re mine, Bernadette,” Oscar says, giving me the saddest smile I’ve ever seen on another human being. When he comes out of the kitchen and passes by me, I’m still standing there in total shock. He brushes a gentle but menacing kiss against my forehead. “I’m so unbelievably sorry about that.”
Oscar stands up straight and heads for the staircase, leaving me to gape at his retreating back.
The boys are so busy that it feels like I barely see them. Even Oscar, having proclaimed me as ‘his’ the other day, is gone most of the time. I get it. Between Pamela, the cops, this new gang, and Victor’s mother, we are in some deep fucking shit.
“I feel useless,” Aaron tells me as we sit on the couch, watching the girls play with their new virtual reality headsets. They cost five hundred bucks a piece, but Aaron ordered them anyway. It was worth it just to see their expressions on Christmas morning. Also, it’s a good way to sneak in a private chat while still spending time together; they can barely hear us.
“Same,” I repeat back, fingers feeling for the wound on my side. It’s not much more than a crusty ridge now, but it’ll be a while before I’m back to my usual self. Even longer for Aaron. At least I get to have my stitches removed before school starts again on Monday. I glance his way and find him watching the girls with a strange expression on his face. “What? What’s wrong?”
“Well,” he starts, exhaling and then reaching the fingers of his good hand up to his hair. He massages his wavy chestnut hair for a minute, and my heart thumps strangely. It’s not fair that his tattooed bicep should ripple while he does it. I bite my lower lip. Being stuck here alone all day with just us and the girls means it’s difficult to find time alone with Aaron. I’m still not ‘supposed’ to fuck anybody, but that doesn’t mean I’ve been perfect. After all, Vic isn’t going to leave his wife alone on a cold night. “The GMP isn’t like the Charter Crew, Bernie. I think we can handle it, but I don’t know for sure.” He sighs again and then turns his beautiful eyes to mine. I can see spring green from here, forest green, gold. I wet my lips. “That’s why I want to send the girls to Oak River.”
I just stare back at him.
“Excuse me?” I ask, my brows raised high. Oak River is the elementary school cousin of Oak Valley Preparatory Academy. It’s expensive as shit, elitist as hell, and full of spoiled rotten little shits who deserve to have their silver spoons shoved down their throats. “Are you kidding me?”
It’s also a boarding school, by the way. Same as the high school where Donald Asher tried to roofie me and have his friends rape my comatose body. I’d rather my sister went to Prescott High, to be honest with you.
Aaron smiles, but it’s a wry one. He knew I would have this reaction.
“It’s safe,” he tells me, but I just give him a look.
“Right. Safe enough that we broke in and you cut Don’s balls off. Sorry if that’s not enough of a reassurance for me.” He lifts his brows as he glances over at the girls. All three of them flailing around as they play some sort of dance game, vibing off of music we can’t hear. But I’m right, and he knows it: Oak River is adjacent to Oak Valley. The dorms share the same common areas, so older siblings can look out for their younger ones, or so I’ve heard via the gossip circuit.
“True. Which is why Oak Valley quadrupled their security. They have live monitoring of all their cameras, and private militia with guns.” Aaron gives me another look, like he’s already apologizing for what he’s about to say next. “I brought this up to Vic, and he likes the idea.”
I just stare back at Aaron like he’s lost his damn mind.
“You’re kidding me, right? These are not Vic’s sisters; they’re ours. He doesn’t get to choose where they go.” Aaron looks at me sadly for a moment, and I groan. Family, right. He sort of does get a say in this, doesn’t he?
“I’m not saying we have to make a decision now,” he continues, reaching out to take my hand with his good one. As I stare back at him, it finally hits me: if Aaron hadn’t saved himself, would I be dead? How close were the other boys? Did they let Aaron have that moment? It seemed like they were just minutes behind him, but was that minutes too late?
“Would I have died?” I ask as he blinks at me, and then turns away. When Aaron withdraws his hand from mine and slides it over his face, I feel like I already have my answer. “Did Kali almost best us?”
“No,” Aaron says with a small shake of his head, glancing back at me with his beautiful mouth pursed slightly. “You did.”
We just stare at each other for a moment as those words sink in.
But he’s right, isn’t he?
It isn’t Havoc that’s fucking up: it’s me.
And I’m supposed to be the queen.
I stand up from the couch and Aaron lets me go, taking over babysitting duty so I can step outside to have a cigarette.
“I can’t believe we have to go back to school in a few days,” a dark voice says from above me. I pause and step out onto the lawn, turning around to find Callum on the roof. He’s sitting on the edge, legs hanging over the side. He’s got a cigarette in his hand, and he smiles at me as I raise a brow in his direction. I have no idea how he got up there; he hasn’t been home all day. Neither Aaron nor I saw him come into the house. “That’s why I’m chain-smoking,” he explains, lifting up a nearly full ashtray in explanation. “Because I hate math.”
“That’s why, huh?” I ask, and he nods, putting out his cigarette and then leaping down from the fucking roof like it’s nothing. Cal lands in a crouch on the grass and then stands up in a stretch, lifting his arms above his head. His hoodie lifts up just enough that I can see a bit of his flat tummy. My own belly stirs with desire, and I place a palm over it. “I’m smoking because it just occurred to me that if Aaron hadn’t saved his own life, I might be dead.”
Callum just stares at me for a moment and then tucks his hands into his hoodie pocket.
“Mm,” he says, walking in a circle around me for a moment. “No, I don’t think so. I had a clear shot.” Cal pauses next to me, looking down at me with those beautiful blue eyes of his. He isn’t smiling anymore. “But it was close. Too close, Bernie.”
“Aaron says it wasn’t Kali who almost got one-up on us,” I start, choking on the words. For the first time ever, it’s occurred to me that maybe I don’t belong here. Maybe, as Oscar keeps saying, I’m the crack in the perfection that is Havoc. “It was me.”
Cal considers this a moment, reaching over to steal my cigarette. He takes a drag while he thinks about my words.
“You should follow Vic’s orders,” he concedes after several minutes of silence. That’s an interesting thing to note, how long Callum actually thinks before he speaks. That’s a rare fucking trait right there. “And you should really stop punishing yourself.” He hands what’s left of the cigarette back as I try to blink away Kali’s image, standing in the corner of the yard and sneering at me. That’s what she is, a punishment. A dark gift
to myself.
“You have dirt under your nails,” I say instead. It’d be almost impossible for anyone else to notice; nobody gets this close to Cal in public. Besides, they’re painted blue, as always. But I can see it, with him standing just inches away from me.
“So I do,” he remarks, checking his fingernails and then lifting his eyes to mine. “Sorry, I spent the afternoon digging.”
“For Oscar’s informant?” I ask, because I didn’t miss the single speck of blood on the white of Oscar’s button-down last night. He most definitely killed somebody yesterday. And yet, when faced with one of my worst enemies, I hesitated.
Callum nods briefly, and then smiles again, reaching out a hand and putting it on the top of my head. When Victor does that, it feels patronizing. Somehow, it’s okay when Cal does it.
“Yep. One of our girls is fucking an officer in the GMP.” Cal stops for a second and frowns. “Was, I mean. She was fucking him.” He pats me on the head and then drops his hand to his side. “Her information was good though. Really good. The GMP is actively attempting to move into our turf.”
“What does any of that have to do with Ophelia and Trinity?” I ask, choking on that bitch’s name as it slithers out of my mouth. Trinity Jade. Jesus Christ, what a pretentious fucking name.
“Dunno,” Cal says, shaking his head. “But we’ll figure it out. We always do.” He studies me for a moment and then looks up at the sky. “It’s about to get dark.” I shiver when he says that, can’t help myself. Hearing Callum Park say the word dark in that deep, husky voice of his activates every primal instinct I have, from survival to fucking and everything in-between. “Do you want to play a game?”
“What sort of game?” I ask warily, looking back at him.
“A game of shadows,” he tells me, stepping back. “You hide, and I try to find you.” There must be something on my face that gives away what I’m thinking because he throws his head back in laughter. “Oh, Bernie, don’t look so scared. You’re the one person I would never hurt.” He drops his head back down and then reaches out to push some hair back from my face. “You said you wanted to learn to creep in the shadows, right?”
“I did, but I wasn’t aware it was going to be a game of hide-and-seek.” I think about the cemetery and Neil’s mocking voice and that horrible “Tiptoe Through the Tulips with Me” song. I take another drag on my cigarette and put it down. “But okay. Yes. Teach me.”
“Let’s make a wager: you manage to hide for fifteen seconds and I’ll give you something nice.” He flips his hood back, and I have to hold in a small gasp at the beauty of his hair. It really is the color of sunshine and spun gold; I wish I saw it more often.
“Nice, how?” I query, shaking out my hands. “Oral sex? That’s Hael’s favorite thing to bet.”
“Even better than that,” Cal says, pulling a pack of gum from his hoodie pocket. He unwraps a single stick and folds it into his mouth. “Now,” he puts his hands on either of my shoulders and leans in close to my face, smelling like mint and sweet things. The scent is completely at odds with his aura, this dangerous swirl of smoke and long-buried bones. “You run; you hide. I’m going to count to sixty in my head.”
Callum releases me, and I feel this surge of adrenaline take over that I didn’t expect. It feels like a serious PTSD reaction to the idea of hide-and-seek, one of Neil’s favorite games to play with me and Penelope as children. I almost choke as I turn and sprint into the yard, around the corner of the house and toward the old playhouse. It’s been here for years, slowly rotting away.
Hiding inside the house seems too obvious, but there’s a space underneath it that I know I can crawl into, a hole dug by Aaron’s first and only dog. I remember her, actually, this beautiful golden retriever that his father took to a bar one night and ended up trading in exchange for some of his debt. Nobody ever bothered to fill the hole in, so here it is: big enough to hide a body.
I hit the dirt on my knees and shimmy underneath, cursing under my breath at the pulling in my side. I cannot fucking wait to get these stitches out.
As soon as I’m under, I do my best to control my breathing. It seems impossible though, with the adrenaline making my heart pound like a heard of galloping horses. You can do this, I tell myself, but then I glance over and see Kali’s rotten face in the darkness. My breath catches, and I almost scream.
“Hide-and-seek?” she mocks. “How fitting. One of your worst nightmares, and you’re using it as a game.”
But I’m not.
I trust Cal’s instincts. If he thinks he can teach me to move the way he does by playing children’s games, then I’ll do it.
A hand clamps on my ankle and drags me from the hole as I do my best to swallow a scream. Callum releases me as soon as I’m free of the playhouse, standing up as I roll onto my back and stare up at him.
He smiles.
“You made too much noise running over here. Slow and steady wins the race, Bernie.” Cal nods at me again, pushing up the sleeves of his hoodie to reveal his tattoos. The desperate ballerina on his arm stays slumped over, mourning a dream that will never come true. “Try again.”
Callum turns away, and I stand up. This time, I take his advice into account and move as slowly and quietly down the cement walkway as I can. Since I’m moving more slowly, I can’t cover as much ground, settling for crouching behind a trellis covered in winter-dead roses, as black as a corpse’s fingers and in desperate need of trimming.
I’ve not fully settled into a crouch before Callum appears beside me, like a demon summoned from the lengthening shadows of early evening. This time, I do jump, but he just laughs at me.
“You took too long,” he tells me, licking the edge of his pink mouth. “Again.”
I stand up and dart from the bushes as fast as I can, slowing down only when I near my next hiding spot: the house. Cal never said I couldn’t hide in here.
When I slip inside and Aaron sees me, I put a finger to my lips, winking to let him know it’s nothing serious. He raises a brow but stays where he is, settled on the couch with the girls flailing around in their VR headsets in front of him.
I tiptoe down the hall, slip into the master bedroom, and hide behind the open door. If the sliders in here hadn’t been locked, I’d have gone in that way.
Closing my eyes, I try to guess if it’s been a minute or not.
I have no idea, so I start to count down from fifteen, just to see if I can make it that long.
Fifteen, fourteen, thirteen …
The door slams closed, and I open my eyes to see Cal standing in front of me in the dark.
“What gave me away this time?” I ask, my voice soft, almost tentative.
“I could smell you,” he whispers back, putting his palms on the wall on either side of my head. “Like peaches and leather. But you did better this time.” He leans close and breathes me in. “I have the advantage here, since I know your scent so well.”
“Creepy,” I whisper, but when he drops his mouth to mine and kisses me like he’s absorbing my very essence, I know that I don’t care. He might be a scary motherfucker, but he’s here for me. He can’t dance anymore; there is only me, only Bernadette.
Callum pushes his body up against mine, pinning me to the wall with his lean form. My hands slide up under his hoodie and t-shirt, finding the planes and valleys of his lower abs. They contract at my touch, and he sucks in a sharp breath.
“Do I still get the prize?” I whisper and Cal chuckles, pulling away from me just enough to talk.
“No.” He grabs my arm and leads me toward the bed, leaning in to put his lips near my ear. “But you can have something else.”
He pushes me down on the mattress and then crouches on the floor, sliding one of my boots off and then the other. He takes his time, too, setting them aside before removing my socks and pressing his thumbs into the arch of one foot.
It feels so damn good that I throw my head back with a throaty moan.
“This is my punishment
for losing?” I whisper, not wanting Aaron or the girls to hear. Likely, they’ll be in virtual reality land for a while, but I’m not risking it. “A foot massage?”
“Punishment?” Cal queries back, his voice as husky as mine. “Whoever said you were being punished? You just didn’t win the prize—this time. But that’s okay: we’ll play again.” He lifts up from the floor like his body is weightless, like moving it around costs him nothing, takes no effort at all.
It’s a lie; we both know he’s in constant pain.
Cal grabs me by the hips and pulls me toward the edge of the mattress, unbuttoning my jeans and pulling down the zipper while he maintains eye contact. I don’t ask what, exactly, it is that we’re doing now. It seems pretty obvious.
That is, until I try to sit up and undo Cal’s pants and he pushes my hands away.
“No,” he repeats, while still smiling. “And don’t give me that look. I’m not Oscar; I like being touched. But this is still a lesson. You’re going to learn how to be quiet.” He pulls my jeans down, leaving my panties in place.
Cal crouches back down and pushes my knees apart, dropping his mouth to my inner thigh. He doesn’t touch me with his lips however, choosing to breathe against my skin and make me shiver instead. It’s near torture as he trails his fingertips along my thigh, tapping, tickling, but refusing to take it any further, even as my hips buck in response.
My panties are already soaked through; I can feel them.
“Cal,” I breathe, trying to guide his face, but he just laughs at me, the sound a near physical sensation as his breath flutters against the sensitive flesh of my upper thigh.
“Patience, Bernadette,” he chastises, finally granting me a single kiss to the inside of my knee. My entire body breaks out in goose bumps. “Yet another skill you need to learn.” He continues moving those perfect lips down my leg, kissing me gently on the calf, the foot. His thumbs knead my arch again, working some of the tension from my right foot.
I try to be patient like he’s asked, but it isn’t easy.
Anarchy at Prescott High Page 20