by K Carr
Thirty minutes later he was locking the front door behind him and hurrying towards his car. Another forty minutes and he was opening up his place of business. Connor huffed in annoyance as he flicked the main lights on. Yesterday he had told one of his employees, Yuri, to sort out the mess in the display area of the large space. Why was it still a mess? Heading towards the back offices, Connor tossed his keys and wallet into his desk then pulled on the branded overalls he and all his employees wore. If Jen still worked here that mess out front would’ve never happened. There were his two main go to guys, Ben and Edward – Eddie as he preferred to be called. They were certified plumbers like himself and dependable. Whatever he asked of them, they would do. Now multiply that by 100 and you had the perfect example of the sway his wife held over their employees. The rest of his workforce consisted of Martin, Angela, Owen and Yuri. Yuri had only been working for the business for the past 13 months. He had started right before Connor’s whole world had exploded, and remained uncertain around a boss he didn’t really know. Connor could acknowledge his warm interaction with his staff had plummeted this year. They understood, but it was less than ideal. Connor still got his hands dirty, still went out on jobs with them; but for the past year he had spent more time in the office than out of it. Jen had simply stopped coming into work after Cory’s death. Not once had he asked if she planned on returning to their business. A part of him had been afraid to ask back then. Fearful that if she verbalized her intention never to return it would herald the end of something…everything.
And here he was. Everything had fallen apart anyway.
Connor turned on his computer and started to flick through some paperwork as he waited for it to boot up. The security feeds were the first things to pop up on his screens, which he quickly minimized; then came the business system linking all the other computers throughout the warehouse. He glanced around the office. When had it become such a dismal place? Everything appeared the same, surprisingly the large potted plant Jen insisted on keeping in the corner behind the desk continued to flourish. Who was watering it? He couldn’t remember when last he had watered the damn thing.
“Angela,” he muttered out loud. It had to be her, but Edward had a thing for gardening, maybe it was him. Realizing he was letting himself lose focus, Connor finally sat down behind the desk. “Right, let’s see what we have on today.”
He was fifteen minutes into scheduling pending jobs when his personal phone vibrated on the table. His initial quick glance was followed by a much closer look as he reluctantly picked the phone up.
“Hey, man,” he answered. “What’s up?”
“Hey,” Gareth replied, he sounded slightly shocked. “Er, I’m good. How about you? How are you doing?” An embarrassed half-laugh came from him. “Shit. I wasn’t expecting you to answer.”
Connor did the same sort of half-laugh. “Yeah, things have been,” he cleared his throat. “Busy, I guess.”
“I did leave a few messages,” Gareth pointed out.
“Yeah,” Connor felt bad. Gareth was one of his oldest friends, had been the best man at his wedding. And Connor had been avoiding his calls for the past few months. He couldn’t remember when last they’d hung out. “Sorry, man. Things are,”
“Busy.” Gareth accepted Connor’s pathetic excuse like the good friend he was. “Yeah, I get it. How did it go?”
Connor immediately knew what Gareth was referring to. “As expected. I don’t know, man. It was,” He snorted derisively. “Unpleasant. I got to see Meggie though so that was good.”
“Yeah,” Gareth mused. “Erm, and Jen? How are things with her?”
“The same.” Connor grumbled.
“I can’t believe it’s already been a year,” Gareth sighed. “Shit. But you’re alright? You’re hanging in there, right?”
“Yeah,” Connor lied. “Yeah, of course. I’m just trying to get my head around a few things. Look, I’m sorry I haven’t been returning your calls-”
“It’s fine,” Gareth cut him off. “You don’t have to explain. I get it. I just wanted to touch base and, you know, check up on you.”
Connor felt worse. “How about you? What have you been up to? Are you still seeing Amanda?”
Gareth guffawed. “Damn. Has it been that long since we last spoke? Mandy and I broke up like four months ago. Damn.”
“Shit,” Connor muttered. “Sorry. What happened? Things seemed to be going alright for you two.”
“It fizzled out,” Gareth huffed. “I don’t know. We were both in different places in our lives. Shit happens.”
“Yeah,” Connor agreed gruffly. “Shit does happen.”
Gareth, perhaps realizing how it sounded, rushed to say, “I mean, it’s nothing like, it’s no big deal in the grand scheme of things – fuck. You know what I mean. There are bigger problems,” He exhaled down the line. “Sorry, man.”
“Gareth, it’s fine.” Connor assured him. This was a perfect example of why he’d been ignoring the calls, and not just from Gareth; if it wasn’t work or his girls, he didn’t want to know. The awkwardness, he couldn’t get used to it. The actual change in the way people – family, friends, employees, acquaintances – interacted with him was jarring.
But he was changed. He had been forever changed. Everything had fallen apart anyway.
“No,” Gareth said. “No, that was thoughtless of me. You’ve got more important things to deal with,” his voice trailed off, then he asked, sounding almost embarrassed, “So Jen is still staying at her mom’s place?”
“Yep.” The clipped one word answer was warning enough this was a touchy subject.
“And, uh,” Gareth hesitated for a second. “What’s happening with that?”
“Nothing,” Connor turned half his attention back to the computer screen in front of him. “She’s at her mom’s with Meggie, and I’m at home.”
“For how long?” Gareth asked impatiently. “I mean, she had already moved out when last we saw each other and as I said before that was months ago-”
“She wants a divorce,” Connor stated emptily. “That’s what’s happening.”
“Damn.” Gareth muttered. “Sorry, man. I thought,” he didn’t complete his sentence.
“Yeah,” Connor uttered bitterly. “That’s where we’re at right now.”
“Weren’t you doing the counselling thing?”
“Yeah, no she stopped going ages ago,” he admitted. He was surprised at the question and tried to remember when he had told Gareth about the counselling. It must have been in the early aftermath of Cory’s death. “No, she’s pretty much made her mind up.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah,” Connor agreed. “It is.”
“Look,” Gareth’s tone changed to a more upbeat one. “The reason I called was to talk about your birthday,”
Connor could detect the strained undertone throughout his friend’s words, the forced cheerfulness which he knew was for his benefit.
Gareth continued, “I’m going to be away with work the week of, so I was thinking maybe we could go out for a few drinks the week before, you know, like the old days. Are you planning anything? I’m free the week before, even the week after,” He coughed lightly. “It’ll be good to meet up.”
“I appreciate the offer,” Connor began, and he did, but he wasn’t sure he would be the best type of company on a one-to-one basis. “But I’ve got so much on my plate at the moment,”
“Come on, man,” Gareth huffed with a bark of laughter. “Don’t make me beg. It’s just a few drinks,” he stopped abruptly and cleared his throat.
Connor wondered if Gareth was remembering the times he had tried to drown his grief with alcohol. “Can I get back to you on that? Actually, I’m supposed to be arranging a little get together at the house on the day itself, the Saturday. Meggie wants me to have a party, you know what she’s like with birthday parties.” A swell of regret built inside him. Would he get a chance to see her before his birthday? “Anyway, will you be back by th
en?”
“I’ll be travelling back on the Saturday,” Gareth said with disappointment. “Won’t get in until early hours Sunday morning. If the party is still going on by then, I’ll come straight from the airport-”
Connor laughed out loud. A real gut twinging laugh which he hadn’t experienced in a while, and made all the more enjoyable because it was unexpected. “Gareth, my man, we’re not twenty-one anymore! Who parties until the wee hours of the morning anymore?”
“Hey,” Gareth chuckled. “I still get down. The rising sun meets me walking out the club-”
“Ha,” Another short bark of laughter. “Yeah, right. Who can afford going out in the city anymore? Cab fare alone is ridiculous,”
“Hey,” Gareth started snickering. “Hey, you remember the time we bailed out that taxi on 7th Avenue-” He snorted. “And your friend – the dude you used to climb with back in college – shit, what was his name?”
“Malcolm,” Connor supplied the information with a chuckle.
“Yeah, yeah,” Gareth sounded as if he was physically nodding with his words. “He was there and his coat got snagged on the door-”
“Man,” Connor started laughing again. “I didn’t even know he had fallen behind when we ditched the cab! Spent all our cash on drinks that night,”
“I lost my wallet in the first place we went to,”
“Yeah, right, uh huh” Connor drawled in amusement. “Still peddling that old story on how you conveniently lost your wallet.”
“I did,” Gareth insisted between his chuckles. “It was traumatic. Remember I had met that girl at the first bar we had been to, and she wrote her number down on a piece of paper because my phone was dead and her friend had disappeared with hers. I put the paper in my wallet and I lost the freaking thing.”
Connor sniggered. “I can’t believe this. Come on, man. You know that was a fake number. Come on. Don’t do this to yourself. Her friend disappeared with her phone? Yeah. I think not. It was absolutely a fake number.”
“I’m telling you,” Gareth persisted. “She was into me. We were meant to get married and I lost her number. She was the one.”
“Oh, alright then,” Connor patronized him. “I feel for you.”
“Thank you,” Gareth kept the joke going. “My search for her will continue. Who knows one day we might meet again.”
“You’re full of shit.” Connor surmised with another brief chuckle.
“Because I’m friends with you,” Gareth retorted. “But seriously, it’s been too long, pencil me in whenever and I’ll be there.”
Connor nodded to himself as he verbalized his commitment. “Will do, Gareth. I’ll definitely call you when you get back, maybe we’ll catch a game at the sports bar. Shit. It’s been ages since we’ve been there.”
“Cool. I’m going to hold you to that.” Gareth warned before they said their goodbyes and ended the call.
The smile on his face lingered for a few moments. Chatting to Gareth had improved his overall mood slightly. He really should be a better friend. Connor knew he was lucky, most men relied on their significant others to hold that space in their lives. Singlehandedly carrying the mantle of confidante, counsellor, helpmate...the list went on. He used to be the same, depending on Jen to be everything and more when it came to personal relationships. It was unsettling, realizing exactly how much his world revolved around her. This was what those reports his mother teased his father were about. How the majority of men, later on in life, were completely socially inept without their wives. Connor could definitely understand the process of it happening over the years.
“Get it together, man,” he told himself out loud. Turning back to his work, he spent another half an hour checking and logging any changes in their supplies before coming to an abrupt stop.
Lawyer. He needed to call his lawyer. It had been one of the things on his mind this morning. Shit! Snatching up the office handset, Connor dialled his lawyer’s number.
“Hello, Mr Walters,” he started anxiously. “Roy, it’s me, Connor. I am so sorry I didn’t get back to you earlier-”
“It’s alright,” Roy cut him off curtly. “I know things are,” There was a slight pause. “Difficult for you right now. What I wanted to discuss with you was the issue of who gets to be the custodial parent.”
“Ok,” Connor murmured. He wasn’t offended by Roy’s curt tone, his lawyer was a busy man.
“Look, I’m not going to beat around the bush here, Connor. We’ll stand a better chance of getting joint custody if you agree with your wife becoming the custodial parent-”
“But will-”
“Connor,” Roy interrupted him again. “We don’t want this before the courts. Ok?”
“Ok,” Connor agreed. “But-”
“I’m not going to lie to you, Connor. I told you from the start, it’s best if we get your soon to be ex-wife on side. Yes, we all say the courts will take into consideration the wishes of the child, but let’s be serious here. The minor involved isn’t that old, the courts will consider the wishes of a twelve year old more than the wishes of an eight year old.”
“Seven,” Connor corrected. “She’s not eight yet, and her name is Megan, not ‘the minor’.”
Roy sighed loudly then apologized. “I’m sorry, you’re right. Look, I want to help you, Connor. The divorce proceedings should be easy, your wife isn’t being unreasonable from a financial stance; and I just think it’s best if we hash out a custody agreement without having to involve a judge. Right now, your wife is the primary caretaker-”
“Because she left me and took our daughter,” Connor blurted out unhappily.
“Be that as it may,” Roy tried to edge past this issue. “When the custody application is made, and trust me, I’m certain your wife’s lawyer is going to do that soon,” Roy paused again, this time to stress the severity of the situation. Not that Connor needed it pointing out, he was fully fucking aware of how serious this whole thing was. Clearing his throat, Roy continued. “The thing is, whoever has physical custody of the child when the application is made,” He cleared his throat once more. “Sometimes that’s viewed as an advantage in the courts.”
“What?” Connor partially snarled. “So because Jen has Meggie you’re saying if this goes to court, if we don’t sort out an agreement and it goes to a judge at family court; I’m going to lose custody? I’m going to lose my daughter?”
“No,” Roy rushed to appease him. “No. I’m not saying that. Right now there’s no custody order and technically either one of you can have her-”
“But Jen’s got her,” Connor spat angrily. Damn it. Why was she doing this to their family when all he wanted was to fix them? She was fucking ripping them apart while he wanted nothing more than to fix them.
“That’s why I want to come to an agreement with her and her lawyer without this case going before the courts,” Roy made an uncomfortable sound down the line. “Look, your situation – the past incident,” Roy broke off before saying in a neutral voice, “The circumstances of your son’s death isn’t going to play well in the family courts, Connor. It was a terrible accident, but he was under your care at the time it happened. As distasteful and morally bankrupt as this sounds, your wife’s lawyer can and most probably will use this against you. I want us to get an out-of-court agreement. I do not want us to fight this out before a judge. You don’t want that, Connor, I swear that’s the last thing we want.”
“What do you want me to do?” Connor asked with resignation. Dread swamped him and deep down he feared they were all just going through the motions. His fate had already been set. He was going to lose everything which mattered to him. Technically, he already had.
“Get your wife on side,” Roy stated.
“And how the fuck am I supposed to do that?” Connor exploded down the line. “You’ve witnessed how things are between us-”
“I don’t care how you do it,” Roy’s interruption was akin to being doused with freezing water. “If you want to kee
p custody of your daughter, you’ll find a way.” He fell silent, giving Connor a chance to let his words sink in, then resumed speaking. “I’m going to try and arrange a sit down with your wife’s attorney, see if there’s any leeway in her desire for sole custody. I’m going to do my best for you, Connor, but I need you to work on your wife from your end. Get. Her. On. Side.”
Connor exhaled loudly and tried to focus on what mattered. Being a father to Megan was the most important goal right now. The state of his marriage and his burning desire to fix it would have to take a backseat – fuck, Jen had started divorce proceedings. They were in the middle of a divorce and here he was still thinking about trying to fix things? He needed to get out of the delusional world he inhabited and focus on saving what he realistically could; his parental relationship with his daughter.
“I’m having a birthday party,” Connor advised. “In a few weeks. I’ll try to improve things between her and me.”
“You do that,” Roy encouraged. “Make sure everyone sees you’re trying-”
“I am trying,” Connor was suddenly incensed. What the fuck was up with his lawyer? “What the hell does that mean, Roy?”
“I know, Connor.” Roy tried to smooth things over, obviously picking up on Connor’s anger. “I’m just thinking of worst case scenarios and ensuring we have a large number of people willing to stand in your corner and testify how much better it is to have you in Megan’s life. Look, just do your best to get your wife on side, at least to a place where she’s open to discussing a fair custody agreement. Right now she’s only interested in sole custody. I’ll send you some paperwork I need you to sign concerning the divorce proceedings. We’re only in the initial stages of all of this so I’m hoping we can get an informal custody agreement sorted before we finalize your divorce.”