A thumping sound, low and foreboding, broke through the cadence of her heavy breathing. She stopped, turning left and right, in order to locate the source.
It was high in the air, which meant one thing. She hunkered down and finally spotted the helicopter making a sweep of the hills.
“Shit,” she said, having nowhere to hide if the chopper decided to use its spotlight to search for people just like her. Had somebody seen her start her climb? Had they called the police? As the helicopter got closer, a jolt of fear raced through her. She was breaking the law, and if she got caught, she could lose her job.
On her knees, still trying to catch her breath, she stared at the ground, listening to the thwacking of the rotor blades. After a minute or two, she looked up. They appeared to be on a general search because, if they’d had a specific target, they’d be flying a lot lower.
Finally, the helicopter tilted to its left and made a plunging arc, heading back down toward Hollywood. Still, she waited a few minutes, unwilling to press her luck too soon.
From somewhere else a ways away, the brush made a thrashing sound. There were many deer in the area, and she hoped that’s what it was. Otherwise, she might be coming face-to-face with a bobcat.
She started to move again but the terrain had gotten much steeper. She was bent over, using her hands to scramble up and dropping to her knees when gravity was winning.
The screech of a hawk startled her, and she got her flashlight back out of her pocket, just in case. She wasn’t worried that the hawk would come swooping down on her head, but she wanted to be ready in case she accidentally met any rodents or small animals that the hawk was looking for.
Finally, she was able to stand upright and found a small animal-made trail. She followed it, gaining more altitude, and after the next ten minutes, she stopped. Towering above her was the one thing she’d seen almost every day of her life but had never gotten close to or touched.
Nine immense structures, forty-five feet tall, spelled out the word HOLLYWOOD in white, corrugated steel.
She hiked up the last hundred feet, reaching the letter D. Stepping behind the sign, she stopped to let her lungs calm down again.
The view was spectacular. Hollywood, and Los Angeles beyond that, spread out in a beautiful pattern of twinkling lights and lines of white and red cars on the streets and boulevards.
But she wasn’t on this joyride to sightsee. She made her way past the letters as quietly as she could, careful to avoid the small, silhouetted rectangles that perched on the top of some of the letters. Those had to be security cameras.
Just under the first L, she found her. Sarah sat huddled against the steel posts holding up the letter. Her head was down on her knees, her arms wrapped around her legs. She didn’t turn toward her as Chris stepped up.
She knelt and realized she was asleep. “Sarah.”
Slowly, Sarah raised her head and looked at her.
“Chris,” she said slowly, “What are you doing here?”
Looking up to the sky, she said, “It’s a full moon.”
“Come here.” Sarah took Chris’s hand.
When she sat down next to her, Chris said, “That was a hell of a climb.”
“You came up from the front?”
“Yeah. Why?”
Sarah pointed behind her at a faint outline of a fence about fifty feet away. “All you have to do is take the trail that starts at Beachwood Drive and come around the back side of Mt. Lee. Then you can climb over the fence.”
“Shit.” Chris held her hands up. “I could have saved myself the loss of blood.”
Sarah took her hands in her own. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah. I just needed to see you. You weren’t answering your phone and I got worried.”
“I think it’s sitting at my house. I haven’t had it for days.”
Chris held on tight. “I am so sorry about Momo.”
Even in the dark, Chris could see Sarah’s face. It was drawn and her eyes were puffy from crying.
“I feel so lost without her. She was my sanity.” Tears came and glimmered at the corners of her eyes. “They said she went in her sleep. I’m grateful for that.”
“I’m glad you’re okay. When I couldn’t reach you, I didn’t know what to do.”
“I kind of went blank. I drove over to my parents’ house after they called. They acted like the maid had just quit. They were pissed at the inconvenience of dealing with her.” Sarah laughed, but the sound was tinged with sarcasm. “It didn’t take them three seconds to start talking about how to redecorate her room.”
“Jesus.”
“I pretty much blew a gasket and told them all to go to hell and that I would make all the arrangements for her service and burial. I’ve been staying there pretty much since she died because I didn’t want them to have anything to do with it.”
“I’m so sorry, Sarah.”
She lowered her head. “I know.” Her voice had become so small.
“And I’m sorry about the last night I saw you.”
She looked up at her. “I know that, too.”
“I was stupid. And I’ve known for a long time that drinking when I get anxious or insecure is the worst thing I can do.” She took a deep breath. She wouldn’t be hiding behind a bottle any more. “I said really horrible things to you.”
“It hurt.”
“Sarah, please believe me when I say it’s been the worst regret of my life.”
“You’re not that far off the truth, though.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m aware of my own self-fulfilling prophecy. I haven’t been such a good person, and I know it’s because I grew up under my parents’ roof. They did everything but write on a Post-it Note that I was no good.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“They made it clear more times than I can count that I wasn’t the apple of their eye. Maybe if I’d turned into an apple martini…”
“And when I got drunk, it hit home, didn’t it?” Making that connection slammed into Chris’s chest, almost doubling her over in pain.
“The truth? Yes. But it wasn’t a surprise. It’s true that I don’t have a career. And it’s true that my parents support me. So when you said those things, they didn’t surprise me. It made sense, actually.”
“What made sense?”
“That you would see me that way. It’s because I have no identity. I don’t know who I am.”
“What I said, I said because I was afraid. I lashed out at you because you were different. I never meant for you to think you were a nobody or that you weren’t important. You are. And I see that, Sarah. You are someone special, and I see you for the incredible woman you are.”
“That night, when I left your house,” Sarah said, “I decided I had to stop seeing you. You were right about me, and I wasn’t going to live up to your standards.”
“My standards are fucked up. I don’t want to see the world the way I have been.” Chris’s heart surged and an overwhelming burst of desire overcame her. “There’s no excuse for what I said to you, but I can tell you that I did it because I was afraid. And then I couldn’t find you and all these questions came. What do you do when you think you’ve found the perfect woman for you? What do you do when all you can think about is her—how she is, what she’s doing right now, and whether she’s smiling that intoxicating smile? What do you do when you can’t seem to breathe without her?”
She turned to look out over the nighttime panorama that stretched below them. Her throat constricted and she just let the tears come. She was ashamed of her behavior and the hurt she’d caused Sarah. And she realized that not only did she have to cut the strict bindings she’d tightened around her life, but she had to burn them to ashes.
Chris wiped the tears from her eyes and looked back at Sarah. “I’ve never met anyone as out there, as brave and fearless enough to live out loud and break the rules as you.”
“How could you want someone who’s so unlike you?
I don’t have anything to offer.”
“You can’t believe that.”
“You don’t know everything about me.”
“Sarah,” Chris said, unsure how to tell her. There’d be time to say everything about that night, but for now, she kept it brief. “I found Natalie. I was desperate to see you. She told me about the kidnapping.”
Sarah nodded knowingly. She raised her head, looking skyward, and then sniffed as if she’d sadly abandoned the onset of a laugh. “When I was a little girl, I wanted the fairy tale. I wasn’t sure what that was, but it had to be the exact opposite of what I saw between my parents. And then my world changed.
“Strangers took me when I was playing out in front of my house. They covered my head and drove for a long time. I remember after they finally got me out of the car, they dragged me inside some house. All I remember was the smell of trash and cigarettes. They tied me up in a room and told me they’d kill me if I screamed.
“The first night I was there, I got out of the ropes and they caught me climbing out a window. There was one big guy who beat me up. He kept yelling and smacking my face. My nose hurt so badly and was all bloody. When he finally stopped, he shoved a gun just under my cheek and told me he’d blow my head off if I tried anything again.
“By then I was so scared, I wouldn’t even ask to use the bathroom. I sat there wondering when my parents would come get me and take me home. After the big guy beat me up the first night, a shorter guy started coming in to bring me food and stuff, but the big guy would come in a few times a day and point the gun at me, just to make sure I didn’t try to escape again. The shorter guy seemed to be pissed that the big guy hit me, but I knew the big guy was in charge.
“As time went on, I thought they’d get sick of waiting. Every time the door would open, I’d start to shake because I knew they’d point the gun at me one last time and kill me. But do you know what the worst part about the whole thing was? Did Natalie tell you my father didn’t believe I was actually kidnapped and waited two weeks to have me rescued?”
Chris slowly nodded.
“Well, that wasn’t the worst part. The shorter guy, the one that brought me food, came to check on me every few hours. He’d come in the room and ask if I was okay. If I needed water, he’d bring it. He checked my nose when it bled and gave me paper towels. Every day, he’d say, ‘Are you okay?’” She began to cry again. “My parents never did that.” A small snort came from Sarah as she shook her head. “They never tucked me in. Never asked me if I was okay. So when I finally got home, I didn’t want to be there. I sometimes wished I was still a hostage instead of being at home because at least that one kidnapper actually gave a shit.”
“Oh, Sarah, I didn’t know.”
“No one knows. I never even told Natalie that part.” She shuddered as she inhaled. “I was invisible to them. I lost who I was. I didn’t care about anything after that. I did whatever I wanted and said whatever I wanted. They expected me to go to college and that’s why I didn’t go. They wanted a debutante and I turned into a hellion. Along the way, I became so good at rebelling just to rebel that I never figured out what I wanted to do and who I really was.
“And then I met you,” Sarah said as she looked out over the city. “In past relationships, I found myself settling because I was comfortable. I wanted more than that. I wanted that one person who understands and sees my soul. The one who gives me those butterflies with just a glance, the one who gives me goose bumps with a touch. And when she holds me, any separation between us just blends into an unbreakable closeness, like we’re one. I wanted you with the deepest parts of my being. I found all of that with you. But I was afraid you wouldn’t want me because of who I am.” Sarah turned to Chris. “Do you remember when I told you that I’ve experienced the worst and that nothing scares me anymore? I was wrong. Only one thing frightens me. And that’s losing you.”
“Sarah, I see who you are, and you’re every bit as wonderful and beautiful as I could ever wish for,” Chris said. “When we first met, I was scared because my own fucked-up rules didn’t have room for someone as unique as you. I was afraid that being with you would affect me in a way I couldn’t control. And the fact is, it did. But that’s the kind of control I want to lose. I’m falling in love with you and I don’t want to fight it.”
“Do you really feel that way?”
“I do. I know you want to finally believe in someone, and I want to be the one. So, if you’ll take a chance with me, I’ll give you the fairy tale.”
Sarah looked at her the way she had when they’d last made love. They kissed for the first time in what felt like years. Sarah’s soft lips touched hers, and Chris swore she felt the angels blessing her with divine redemption.
Sarah pulled away and tenderly wiped Chris’s lip with her thumb. “You remembered what I said about coming up here.”
“I think I’ve remembered everything you’ve said.” She reached up with one hand and held her face. It was the most beautiful sight she could ever take in.
Sarah reached up to her shirtsleeve, pulling it up to reveal her tattoo. “Do you remember what this says?”
“Even in hell,” Chris said, her heart feeling full, “angels can find you.”
“You did.”
She kissed her, tasting the possibility of forever. “I don’t know if we’re going to get down the hill without being arrested for trespassing, but I’d like to take you home and make love to you.”
“I’ve coerced you into coming over to the dark side.”
“Sometimes love is more important than following the rules.”
“I’ll remind you that you said that when I have another urge to sing karaoke on a rooftop.”
“Don’t be surprised if I hand you the microphone.”
“I love you, Chris Bergstrom.”
“And I love you, Sarah Pullman.”
Chris stood and helped Sarah up. They took one last look out over the Los Angeles skyline. The fires had all been quashed, and the hills were starting their journey back to renewal and restoration. All things were possible in the City of Angels.
About the Author
Lisa Girolami has been in the entertainment industry since 1979. She holds a BA in fine art and an MS in psychology and is a licensed MFT specializing in LGBT clients. Previous jobs included ten years as a production executive in the motion picture industry and another two decades producing and designing theme parks for Disney and Universal Studios. She is now a director and senior producer with Walt Disney Imagineering.
Writing has been a passion for her since she wrote and illustrated her first comic books at the restless age of six. Her imagination usually gets the best of her, and plotting her next novel during boring corporate meetings keeps her from going stir-crazy. She currently lives in Long Beach, California.
Praise for Lisa Girolami
Love on Location is “an explosive and romantic story set in the world of movies.”—Divadirect.co.uk
“The women of Run to Me are multi-dimensional and the running metaphor is well placed throughout this tale. Girolami has given us an entertaining story that makes us think—about relationships, about running away, and about what we want to run to in our lives.”—Just About Write
Jane Doe “is one of those quiet books that ends up getting under your skin. The story flowed with the ease of a slow-moving river. All in all a well-written story with an unusual setting, and well worth the read.”—Lambda Literary Foundation
“Jane Doe is a lovely, easy to read romance that left me with a smile on my face.”—Just About Write
In The Pleasure Set “Girolami has done a wonderful job portraying the wealthy dilettantes along with the complex characters of Laney and Sandrine. Her villain is a great combination of brains and ruthlessness. Of course, the sex scenes are fabulous. This novel is a great blend of sex, romance, and mystery, and the cover…is perfect.”—Just About Write
Books Available From Bold Strokes Books
The Heat
of Angels by Lisa Girolami. Fires burn in more than one place in Los Angeles. (978-1-62639-042-3)
Season of the Wolf by Robin Summers. Two women running from their pasts are thrust together by an unimaginable evil. Can they overcome the horrors that haunt them in time to save each other? (978-1-62639-043-0)
Desperate Measures by P. J. Trebelhorn. Homicide detective Kay Griffith and contractor Brenda Jansen meet amidst turmoil neither of them is aware of until murder suspect Tommy Rayne makes his move to exact revenge on Kay. (978-1-62639-044-7)
The Magic Hunt by L.L. Raand. With her Pack being hunted by human extremists and beset by enemies masquerading as friends, can Sylvan protect them and her mate, or will she succumb to the feral rage that threatens to turn her rogue, destroying them all? A Midnight Hunters novel. (978-1-62639-045-4)
Wingspan by Karis Walsh. Wildlife biologist Bailey Chase is content to live at the wild bird sanctuary she has created on Washington’s Olympic Peninsula until she is lured beyond the safety of isolation by architect Kendall Pearson. (978-1-60282-983-1)
Night Bound by Winter Pennington. Kass struggles to keep her head, her heart, and her relationships in order. She’s still having a difficult time accepting being an Alpha female—but her wolf is certain of what she wants and she’s intent on securing her power. (978-1-60282-984-8)
The Blush Factor by Gun Brooke. Ice-cold business tycoon Eleanor Ashcroft only cares about the three Ps—Power, Profit, and Prosperity—until young Addison Garr makes her doubt both that and the state of her frostbitten heart. (978-1-60282-985-5)
Slash and Burn by Valerie Bronwen. The murder of a roundly despised author at an LGBT writers’ conference in New Orleans turns Winter Lovelace’s relaxing weekend hobnobbing with her peers into a nightmare of suspense—especially when her ex turns up. (978-1-60282-986-2)
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