by Jamie Begley
Winter came down the stairs from the upper floor, approaching her and Rachel. The wife of Viper, the club president, looked pretty in a blue maxi dress that showed off her slim figure.
Willa always felt huge and graceless when she was near the other woman. Not only did she outweigh Winter by over eighty pounds, but her own five-foot-eight height made Winter seem even more diminutive.
She was angry at herself for her envy of other women that went to the extent of constantly trying to reinvent her own appearance. Her hair had gone through several color changes recently from blonde to different shades of red to finally admitting defeat and returning to her plain brown hair color. Her makeover attempts hadn’t stopped at hair, either. Trying to transform her large body into their dainty sizes had been another failed attempt.
“How are you coping with the children?” Winter questioned, her friendly gaze making Willa feel even guiltier for yearning to be as attractive as they were to the men who filled the motorcycle club.
Willa couldn’t explain to herself why she felt that way, though. The Lord knew she wouldn’t be able to handle the attention from the alarmingly lethal-looking bikers.
“It’s been a transition for them,” Willa admitted carefully, not revealing how difficult it had been to go from living a solitary life to one filled with tantrums and broken china, some of which didn’t stem from the toddlers she was caring for until a relative could be located. The older children were proving to be the bigger challenge.
“I’m sure it has been,” Winter said sympathetically.
Willa glanced away from Winter’s astute gaze. The school had notified her two days ago that, unless Sissy quit missing school so often, she would be moved to the alternative school where Winter was the principal as well as a member of the committee that placed problematic children in the school. As a result, Winter was probably more knowledgeable about Sissy’s academic failings than Willa was as her foster parent. However, she didn’t say anything about the child in front of Rachel, which Willa was grateful for.
The problem was that Willa had never had any idea Sissy hadn’t been in school. Although she had dropped her off each day with Leanne at the high school, the girl had been sneaking out and skipping. Leanne had known, yet hadn’t told on her sister.
When Willa had confronted Sissy, the girl had gone upstairs to her room, locking Willa out, and now Willa was at a loss on how to deal with the girl.
“Cash needs some help. Excuse me.” Rachel left, going to her husband’s side as he haphazardly stacked baby presents on the bar.
“Any advice on how to deal with Sissy would be appreciated. I’m ashamed to admit I’m not handling her very well,” Willa confessed to Winter as soon as Rachel moved away.
“Be patient. If you like, I could try to talk to her,” Winter offered.
“I’ll take any help I can get. I’m afraid, if she gets into anymore trouble, Child Services will reconsider my ability to foster the children. The sheriff and the state are trying to find Georgia and Lewis’s half-brother. As soon as they find him, I won’t have to be so worried about having them broken apart.” That fear had been keeping her awake at night.
“Don’t worry; I’m sure it won’t be much longer.” Winter touched her arm, and Willa instinctively drew away.
“Hi, Willa.” Evie and King stopped as they passed through the crowded room.
“Hello,” Willa responded, suddenly becoming aware the women in the group were trying to make her feel comfortable. It wasn’t going to happen with Dean—or Lucky, as everyone was calling him now—in the room. She forced herself to keep her eyes averted from where he was standing, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt like the rest of the men except King, who wore his usual slacks and dress shirt.
“Your cakes are selling well at the restaurant, Willa. We need to talk about increasing our order.” King was one of the few men who had the power to get under her guard and make her feel relaxed.
“I can’t. I can hardly keep up with the orders I have now.” Willa bit her lip, not wanting to disappoint her most lucrative customer.
“You could take the diner off your list. I could buy what you’re selling them,” King offered with a suave smile that had Willa considering the option for a brief second.
Willa shook her head regretfully. “That wouldn’t be fair. I’ve sold my cakes and pies to them for years.”
“I would pay you more,” King tempted.
Willa could definitely understand how he had managed to steal his wife Evie away from the men of The Last Riders.
“It isn’t about the money,” Willa refused. “If I have any openings during the week, I can make a few extra desserts. We can do it on a week by week basis.”
King grinned. “I’ll take what I can get.”
Evie leaned against her husband’s side. “Isn’t that the truth?”
Willa blushed from witnessing the sexually heated look between them. Thankfully, Shade brought Lily into the room at that moment, providing a welcome distraction.
Whenever she saw Shade and Lily together, it brought a lump to her throat. She was fortunate to have seen several extremely happy marriages in her own family, but what Lily and Shade shared was beyond explanation. Their love was a gift. It was special. It also reinforced her own sense of loneliness.
She had thought she would have been married by now with a couple of children, not alone and taking care of five children who belonged to two people who had made her childhood and adulthood miserable.
She had originally taken in the children as her penance for taking the life of Lewis, the father of the three younger children and the guardian of Leanne and Sissy, his sister Georgia’s children, but it had evolved into her having a genuine care for all of them.
Willa stayed toward the back of the crowd as Lily began to open her presents while Shade held his small son in his arms. The harsh, azure-eyed man was smiling down at his wife indulgently.
Unable to keep watching without feeling envious, Willa moved to the large table set up with drinks where Bliss, an attractive blonde, was watching with a pained expression she was unable to disguise. Willa could sympathize with her. She constantly wanted what she couldn’t have. Every night, she prayed to be a better person, but so far, her prayers had gone unanswered.
Willa took a bottled water, moving to stand next to Bliss so no one would overhear. “I brought you some of the peanut butter candy you like. I hid it in the kitchen cabinet by the back door.”
Bliss looked at her in surprise. “You brought it for me?”
Willa nodded. “I remembered how much you like it. Did you use the last batch to bribe Rider?”
“Yes. He fixed the garbage disposal and cleaned the gutters.” Bliss laughed.
“I made you a double batch. You can keep it for yourself or share.”
“No one will take it from me. Everyone’s pissed off at me because I said something I shouldn’t,” she blurted out, surprising Willa with the confidence since the club usually kept all their relationships private.
Willa watched the sensual woman who was staring unhappily at Shade and Lily. “Did you tell them you’re sorry?” She didn’t have to ask if it was Lily she had offended. Everyone loved the soft-spoken woman and would rally around her if they thought she was hurt. The party surrounding them was proof of their love for her.
Bliss gave a bitter laugh. “It’s not the first time I’ve put my foot in my mouth, and the club is getting tired of me saying I’m sorry. They don’t believe I mean it when I keep doing the same stupid shit.”
“Then prove them wrong,” Willa said gently. “Do you really think Lily and Beth are capable of holding a grudge?”
Bliss stared back at her, startled. “You know what happened?”
Willa smiled wryly. “No, they don’t confide in me, but I overheard you at the hospital telling Jewell they’ll never forgive you.” At Bliss’s worried expression, Willa attempted to soothe her fears. Since The Las
t Riders made it a point to keep their business private, and Bliss was already in trouble with the club, Willa wouldn’t want them to think she was gossiping. “I only heard that before I went in to see Lily. I don’t make a habit of snooping.” Bliss relaxed at her words. “Go talk to Lily. Avoiding her isn’t going to make it easier.” Willa gave Bliss a small nudge in Lily’s direction. “By the way, she loves the peanut butter candy, too. She was constantly asking for it when she was pregnant, but because she was eating so many cupcakes, Shade drew the line at the candy.”
“That’s why you made a double batch? So I could bribe Lily into forgiving me?”
“I made enough for the whole clubhouse to forgive you.” Willa smiled, unconsciously showing her dimples.
Bliss gave her a strange look before heading toward the kitchen where she had stashed the candy for her.
Willa noticed Lily had sat down on one of the large couches next to Beth, who wasn’t looking well. She walked toward them so she could talk to them then make her escape from the torture of being in such a large crowd.
As she moved forward, she felt someone staring at her. Always sensitive to being the center of attention, she glanced to the side and caught Lucky’s eyes on her.
When she had heard the name the other club members called him, she thought the name suited him much better than Pastor Dean. When she had looked at his tall, muscular body and face that held a ruthlessness he kept carefully concealed behind a façade of affable charm, she had never been fooled. Not once. Not from the first moment she had walked into the church several years ago and seen Pastor Saul’s replacement behind the pulpit.
The sun had been shining on his chestnut-colored hair that was slightly longer than most pastors she had ever seen. His hazel eyes had stared at the congregation as if he had known their innermost secrets. Willa had sat, stunned in the pew, feverishly wishing for his sermon to end so she could escape the feelings going through her body that were completely inappropriate to experience during a church service.
Willa hastily dragged her eyes away, concentrating on diverting her thoughts. She had long ago learned not to focus on Lucky, too afraid her expression would reveal her secrets. There was nothing more embarrassing than when a popular man realized the fat chick had a crush on him. She tried to never wish for something she couldn’t have, and he was as unattainable for her as being a size six.
Willa waited patiently for Lily and Beth to notice her, not wanting to interrupt the sisters’ conversation.
Lily saw her first, giving her the gentle smile that never failed to make Willa or anyone else feel as if she was her best friend, even though she knew it wasn’t true.
“Willa, thank you for coming. My cake is amazing. I made Shade take a picture before I let them cut it.” Lily’s sweet voice enfolded her in genuine warmth.
“You’re welcome. I’m glad you’re home,” Willa returned sincerely. Her eyes went to Beth, who winced slightly when she shifted to a more comfortable position on the couch. “Are you all right?” Willa became concerned at Beth’s pallor.
Beth nodded her head. “I’m fine. I must have pulled a muscle,” she answered evasively.
Willa caught the surreptitious look that Lily sent Beth at her answer. The sisters weren’t very good at lying. In fact, they sucked. This was why Willa really didn’t consider herself their friend or anyone else’s, for that matter.
She always fell in one of two groups. One was where they took pity on her, drawing her into their group. The other was where they took advantage of her to get what they wanted. Lily, Beth, Rachel, and Winter were in the former group. They felt sorry for her and tried to include her, but they didn’t consider her a friend enough to really confide in her. They kept her at arm’s length, something someone who didn’t belong to their club couldn’t breach.
Unlike the rest of the town, Willa didn’t want to know their secrets. She simply wanted to be a friend they could trust with their confidences, and know she wouldn’t spread the gossip to the entire town. She was too used to being the object of malicious tongue-wagging to ever bring that down on someone else’s head.
Willa gave them both a strained smile. “I wanted to say hello before I left. I need to leave to pick the kids up from school.” Willa made up the excuse to get herself away from the uncomfortable situation.
“I’m sorry you have to leave so soon. I haven’t opened your present yet—”
“That’s okay. It’s not much. I hope you like it.” Willa started backing away, downplaying the hours she had spent knitting the powder blue baby blanket that was lying unopened by Lily’s side. “Bye, Beth … Lily.” She turned to leave, relieved she could finally escape. The room was becoming more crowded by the moment, filling with even more men.
As she made her way through the crowd, she neared the front door which had been left open from the last bikers entering.
“Why won’t you at least say hi to Willa?” Willa slowed, recognizing Evie’s voice.
“Because I don’t want to give her another reason to feel awkward. She sticks out like a sore thumb in there. Every time I approach her, she runs like hell. I’ll be glad when she gets over her crush on me. It’s damn uncomfortable.”
Willa paled. Rider, who had been coming down the steps, came to a stop when he heard Lucky’s words and saw her eavesdropping.
Humiliation flooded through her. Straightening her shoulders, she continued toward the door and went outside. Evie saw her first, her mouth dropping open. King, who was standing next to her, was able to hide his surprised reaction, but not by much. Lucky glanced over his shoulder to see who they were staring at, and their eyes met.
“Willa…”
She hadn’t believed anything could embarrass the confident man who had a tinge of red beginning to show on his firm jawline.
“I’m leaving. I wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable.” She gave him a fixed stare, determined not to make a bigger fool of herself.
“I didn’t mean…” Lucky ran his hand through his hair that had grown even longer since he had stepped down from the pulpit.
“You meant exactly what you said. If you think I’m attracted to you, you’re wrong, Lucky,” she said. “I would never be attracted to a man like you. The man I would be attracted to would share the same faith and beliefs I have, be kind and considerate to others, and never deliberately hurt someone’s feelings. That man is the one you pretended to be for years, but I knew it wasn’t the real man standing behind the pulpit every Sunday. That’s why I switched churches. My pastor has to be a man I believe in. I never believed in you, and I was right.”
Willa brushed past King with an apologetic glance, leaving the group staring after her in bemusement. She forced herself to go carefully down the long flight of steps to the parking lot when all she wanted to do was run. She felt Lucky’s shocked gaze on her as she got inside her car then pulled slowly out onto the road.
She was humiliated yet proud of herself for giving him a piece of her mind. The arrogant man was used to women catering to him, trying to catch his attention. Well, she was one woman in Treepoint who wasn’t going to make that mistake.
She was so angry she felt like baking him a cake then smashing it in his face. A giggle escaped her as she drove down the road, leaving the clubhouse behind. The image of Lucky with cake all over him gave her a tiny bit of confidence, as did the fact that he now believed he had been mistaken in his assumptions that she was harboring lovelorn feelings for him. Which I don’t, she told herself firmly. No, she wasn’t in love with him at all. However, she was forced to admit to herself—because she was afraid God was privy to her innermost thoughts—that she might have had a few fantasies about the self-assured man. He did fill her dreams late at night when her defenses were down. The longings she kept at bay during the daylight hours couldn’t be suppressed during those long, lonely nights that seemed never-ending until the first streams of daylight would return, and she could bury them once again in ha
rd work, exhausting herself so she could make it through another one.
Her mother had drilled into her mind since infancy to be a virtuous woman. Her mother would not only disapprove of her unwanted attraction to Lucky, whom she’d never met, but if she were still living, she would have heart palpations at the thought of her pure daughter being near the sexually magnetic man. Did people suffer anxiety attacks in Heaven? Willa placed it on her ever-growing mental list of questions she wanted to ask God when they met, hopefully in the far, far future. Lord willing that I meet him, Willa corrected herself. Her feelings for Lucky were putting her everlasting soul in jeopardy.
“God, if you’re listening, I have something to confess. I lied. I kind of do have a crush on the big jerk,” she said out loud, watching for oncoming vehicles in the other lane, afraid she would be punished for telling an even bigger lie. “Okay,” she said, starting her confession over. “I like him a lot.”
* * *
Lucky stood on the front porch, watching until the taillights of Willa’s car could no longer be seen. Reluctantly, he turned to confront a glaring Evie and King.
When Evie’s mouth snapped open, Lucky raised his hand to stop her angry recriminations. “There’s nothing you can say that I’m not saying to myself. I’m aware I came off looking like a dick and hurt Willa’s feelings.”
“You going to fix it?” Evie’s features fueled his regret.
“No. I’m going to leave it alone. I didn’t mean to hurt her, but it’s for the best.” Lucky averted his eyes from King’s discerning gaze.
He smothered his guilt, something he was becoming an expert at. Willa’s infatuation with him needed to be stopped, and he would rather her feel hurt now than prolong the attraction she felt for him.
“When did you become such an ass?” Evie stormed inside the clubhouse, leaving him and King alone.
King leaned against the porch banister, folding his arms across his chest.
“Go ahead and give me shit. I know you’re dying to.” Lucky was aware King had taken a liking to Willa.