‘They made me listen.’ He shook his head in disgust and fell silent, as though gathering the courage to speak of these things, or just giving himself time to absorb the memories that telling her all about it was stirring up.
When he spoke again his voice was thick with emotion and she felt a tugging of sympathy, reminded herself not to, but couldn’t help it.
‘They fed the sound into my cell. I heard you crying sometimes, heard you begging them not to make you do it and I heard you screaming when they hurt you, broke my heart, hearing that. I heard the shit you’d give ‘em too, just for the hell of it.’ He grinned at her, apparently amused by this.
‘Got one helluva nasty little mouth on you for such a pretty little girl.’
Alecia felt herself blushing and countered the reaction by aiming a scowl at him to show she wouldn’t be charmed so easily and she held her tongue, he wanted a response and she chose to punish him with silence. His smile faded and he went back to telling his story.
‘Mostly I just heard the Clone. Cursing, yelling, trying to fight them even though he knew it was pointless, then screaming. I think I got his fucking screams etched into my goddamned brain. I hear him when I sleep, I hear him when I’m awake...’
It was clearly difficult for him to be telling her this, but she refused to allow the stab of sympathy she felt to offer him a free pass.
She wanted to know these things, hell, she needed to know them. It was only fair that she fully understand what was going on and if that meant a little discomfort for everyone else then tough shit.
‘You think I don’t hear that too? You think it’s worse for you having to have listened to it? Poor baby. Try being the one who did it. Worse still, try being the one who had it done to them, you think you’re worse off than Beriael or me because they made you listen?’ She shook her head disgustedly.
‘Go on.’
She maybe sounded harsher than she meant to, but this was a lot for her to digest and she was having trouble keeping control of herself. She didn’t want to hurt anybody but she had to admit she was fairly tempted right now to just take her frustration out on anyone close enough to be convenient.
Amato nodded, it was infuriating that he was being so understanding with her when she couldn’t find the same empathy to excuse him, she almost wanted him to be mean to her, hit her, yell at her, something to make her feel that her feelings right now were justified, that she was right to think he was a jerk. Instead he just sat there and spoke calmly to her.
‘They kept me there because they wanted me to know that I was next. Beriael was becoming useless to them, they did a shitload of tests on him but it’s only one body type, one man, and they wanted a wider scale to go on. They can destroy the Clones, did you know that?’
Leci blinked, not sure she’d heard correctly.
‘Wait... What? They can be killed and like... not come back?’
She leaned forwards, her curiosity getting the better of her, pushing aside her anger.
‘Yeah.’ Amato nodded. ‘The technology they put inside of ‘em, it kinda wires itself into their systems, after a while it becomes a part of them, sort of... The muscle and nerves and all the other shit on the inside, it’ll grow around the implant, absorb it. Can’t be taken out but each implant is controlled externally too.’
He caught her look of confusion and rephrased.
‘They can control it from the outside, sort of like how radios work. They can switch ‘em off.’
Leci gaped.
She had the feeling she was doing too much of that lately but the last day had been sort of a shocking one for her, so long as she didn’t make a habit of sitting with her mouth hanging open she was sure she could let it slide for now.
‘They just... turn em off? Like with a switch?’
‘Not exactly, but pretty much, yeah. It kills the Clone instantly, because the original died a long time ago and what’s running is only running because of the implant. The problem with it is that it’s new technology and it’s not reliable, only works if the Clone has been brought to the off switch so to speak. There’s hardly any range on it at all. The more distance we put between them and us, the less chance there is our Clones buddies are gonna drop dead on us.’
Leci wondered if it might not be such a bad thing if they did, but she didn’t say this out loud.
‘The plan would’ve been for Beriael to be put out of his misery before much longer, and then for me to take his place.’
‘But you’re not a Clone.’
‘No, not yet. I don’t think that was all too far away in the future though. They were just enjoying torturing me with the suspense, kept me waiting longer to let me think about what they were gonna do. Bastards.’
He spat the last word out with such loathing it made her afraid. He was the image of calm and collected serenity on the outside but she suspected he was holding back a lot of rage.
There was one thing she was still uncertain of.
‘Why were you on the wrong side of the cell door? You must’ve done something pretty bad to end up there.’
He shrugged, looking away again and she was instantly alert and suspicious to his avoidance.
‘Don’t have to do much in there really. They don’t trust anyone and they don’t want their secrets leaking out, one small foot wrong and you’re either dead, or might as well be.’
She shook her head slowly, watching him.
‘That doesn’t answer my question though, what did you do?’
He met her eyes steadily and when he answered there was an authoritative quality to his tone that she decided she didn’t want to argue with.
‘What I did isn’t important right now. All that matters is that you know I’m on your side. You’re not in any danger with me Alecia, I’m going to keep you safe.’
Gazes locked, they stared at one another in silence. He was almost challenging her to carry on pushing the subject and she was debating what he might do if she did. She had mistaken his earlier apprehension for fear, it occurred to her now that he was not afraid of her at all. He was wary of her, he knew what she was capable of, but he was not afraid of her and he was very much in control of the situation.
She allowed herself to accept this, wasn’t it what she had been wanting? Waiting for?
He wasn’t Xavian, Xavian was dead, but Amato was here and he was strong, confident and wanted to look after her. She could see no reason to refuse the offer. Being alone was something she had never been very good at and survival alone after such a long time incarcerated would be almost impossible for her. She knew she could never fit in with people again but nevertheless here was one offering to accept her for who she was, knowing the worst of her nasty little secrets and accepting it. If he so desperately wanted to protect the reasons for him ending up where he had done, so badly wanted to keep that secret for himself, then let him, she was certain he was being honest about what mattered. Dropping the matter might injure her pride somewhat but pushing it would hurt more. She wasn’t a stupid girl and she knew when to let something die.
Chapter 11
The sound of footsteps broke the silence and both Alecia and Amato looked up in startled surprise to the entrance of the shelter as the two Clones entered and moved into the small area. Beriael’s attention was fixed on Alecia but he spoke to Amato, Leci shifted her gaze away uncomfortably and toyed with a loose thread on the blanket.
‘It’s dark out, we haven’t seen or heard a thing all day. You were supposed to let us know when she woke up.’
‘We had some things to clear up first. You guys wanting to get some rest?’
Amato stood, preparing to take over the watch, but Beriael shook his head.
‘No point, I reckon we’re safe for now, and the four of us have got plenty left to get out in the open.’
He was still watching Leci, though she refused to look up at him she could feel the heavy weight of his stare. Amato moved to sit beside her and the two Clones seated themselves on the oppo
site bunk, Beriael leaning back against the wall and the woman half sitting, half laying, with her upper body draped across his lap.
Leci supposed it must be nice for them, being together again, they had been apart for at least the time that she and Beriael had been ‘working’ together, perhaps much longer before that.
‘Why don’t we start with names?’ Amato suggested. ‘That way I can stop calling you Firebug and Clones huh? I’m Amato, Amato Benelli.’ He looked at Alecia, who took his cue.
‘Alecia, but people used to call me Leci and I guess it kinda stuck, Leci Walker.’
It was unsettling that the whole time Beriael had continued to stare at her, she could feel his hatred and she had to make an effort to stop herself from squirming visibly under his scrutiny. Having a name for her seemed to make him more angry somehow, as though he felt she didn’t deserve to be humanised after the things she had done to him.
‘Beriael Zagan, and you know this is my wife, Morgan.’
‘Bits.’ The woman added with a smile, Leci looked at her, head tilted, perplexed with a light frown across her face.
‘Bits of what?’
Morgan laughed, it wasn’t a mean sound, it was light and amused and something in it took a little of the tension from the air.
‘No, Bits is just what I’m called, Bitsy, kind of a nickname, cos I’m small I guess.’
Beriael smiled and ruffled his wife’s hair and a portion of his rage seemed magically dissipated, his attention and therefore his anger no longer directed towards Alecia, she found it suddenly easier to breathe and silently thanked Bitsy for giving him something to distract him from his tormentor.
‘You’re welcome.’
‘Um.. Huh?’ Leci blinked, frowned, she glanced to Amato who also looked confused. Beriael wet his lips with his tongue and smiled knowingly.
Morgan pulled herself up from his lap and sat cross legged, directly across from Leci and facing her.
‘There’s something the two of you should know about me.’
She paused a moment, Leci assumed for the purpose of increasing the suspense, Amato gestured impatiently for her to go on.
‘Alecia is not the only one of us who has a gift. A talent, mutation if you want to call it that.’ She paused again briefly.
‘I’m a Telepath.’
Again, Alecia found herself unattractively sat with her jaw hanging open. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Amato lean forward, his eyes narrowed as he studied the other woman curiously.
‘A Telepath... You can read our thoughts? All of them?’ He asked.
Bitsy shook her head.
‘No, not all of them, it’s a limited ability. I can read your conscious thought, I can’t dig any deeper, uncover any secrets, not unless you’re thinking about them when I decide to tune in that is...’
Something about the way she was looking at Amato aroused Leci’s interest. Had the woman been spying on the two of them earlier, when they had been talking, did she know the truth about whatever it was that he had chosen to hold back as unimportant? Heard more than had been said aloud?
‘I mostly pick up on emotions.’ Morgan continued. ‘I don’t spy, not usually anyways.’ She looked at Alecia quickly who felt herself flush.
‘I can feel what you’re feeling if it’s strong, it radiates from you like a beacon and I can access thoughts through that. I don’t go randomly hopping into people’s minds, I don’t trespass unless I feel somebody hurting and I think I can help. You’ve no need to worry about your privacy being breached. I suppose it’s more of an empathic gift than a telepathic one.’
She was watching Leci but her expression was soft, she smiled and the other girl found herself able to smile back, reassured and comforted by the gentle nature of the other woman. There was nothing threatening about her, she carried a relaxed and comforting air that seemed to make everyone around her feel more at ease, she seemed to have some uncanny ability to diffuse tension, she was pleasant, Leci instantly liked her.
‘Back there at the prison, Leci, you were afraid.’
‘We all were.’ Alecia shrugged, her defences rising again, the smile fading quickly, ok, maybe she didn’t like her all that much.
Bitsy shook her head slightly. ‘Yes, we were, but the rest of us were afraid mostly of getting caught, you felt that fear aswell but a big part of you was afraid of getting away... of what would happen if we did. You’re afraid of me.’ She sounded confused by this, sure that she was right but unsure as to why.
‘Not so much afraid of you...’ Leci answered hesitantly, looking at Beriael.
‘More like, worried about what you’d do when you found out...’ She let the sentence trail unfinished, she had no desire to talk about the things she had done. To her surprise, Bitsy was still smiling.
‘Beriael and I talked a lot while you were sleeping. He’s told me everything.’ Her hand crept into Beriael’s lap where his fists rested, clenched, when she touched him he visibly relaxed and took her small hand in his larger one, stroking the back of it lovingly and he gazed at her with something close to adoration.
Alecia didn’t need to be telepathic to know that they’d not gotten much keeping watch done while they’d been alone out there. She laughed softly and covered her mouth with her hand to hide her grin.
The fact that Morgan wasn’t snarling and launching for her throat told Alecia that even if her husband, understandably, had difficulties accepting that what had been done to him had not been Alecia’s fault, his wife did. Leci got the impression that she would do all in her power to satiate his bitterness towards the girl who had really been just as powerless as he was. She discovered a friend in Bitsy, rather than the enemy she had anticipated, and this feeling warmed her, made her feel excited and pleasantly apprehensive. She had never had a friend, never had anyone to trust other than Xavian, but something told her she was now in the company of the people she would come to rely on more than anything, and that she had finally found her family.
Clearly intrigued, Amato was leaning forwards, his elbows resting on his knees as he studied Bitsy. The knowledge of her ability seemed as new to him as it did to Alecia and she was surprised by this, though she supposed that not every guard in the building knew the intimate details of every prisoner.
‘Why were you locked away with the other Clones?’ He asked the woman.
‘Why weren’t you having tests run on you?’
‘Because none of your kind knew about me.’ She answered levelly, meeting his eyes unflinchingly. Obviously, she knew who he was. Beriael’s lack of response or reaction implied that he was also aware they were holed up with an Official. Amato showed no sign that he was perturbed by their knowledge or by her statement.
If the woman truly had the powers she claimed to have, and there was no reason to doubt her, then she would most certainly have picked up on whatever the others were feeling at the time they had recovered her from the enclosure. She claimed not to use the gift to spy but under extreme circumstances, who wouldn’t?
Leci would have made sure she knew whatever she could about the people she was with, if it had been possible for her to do so surreptitiously and without hampering their escape in any way. It was fortunate that Morgan seemed level headed enough to have absorbed the information she had stolen and filed it away for later assessment, rather than broach the matter whilst they were fleeing for their lives.
‘No one at all knew?’ Amato pressed, disbelieving.
‘Nobody other than Beriael, not even the other Clones. You can’t trust anyone in a place like that. Somebody finds out there’s something different about you and they think it’ll earn them some kind of special treatment if they hand you in to the Officials.’
Amato was nodding, he knew that what she was saying was true, Alecia knew it too. Hell, she’d have been the one to hand over the information if she’d had it, anything at all to make existence in there more bearable. The fact that if anyone had known about Bits’ powers and had betrayed her in shari
ng this knowledge with their captors would undoubtedly have meant the poor woman spent the rest of her life subjected to endless tests and experiments meant nothing. Leci recognised the awfulness of this and felt shame knowing it was the harsh truth, but she made no attempt to deny it to herself. If she could’ve made her own life easier by subjecting somebody else to the suffering she endured, she would not have hesitated.
‘So, what happens now?’ Beriael broke the silence that had fallen with a question that they were probably all wondering. Alecia looked to Amato and felt conflict like she had never known. He had rescued her, rescued them all, without him they would never have found their way out and would either have been killed or recaptured. She knew he felt somehow responsible for her situation, though she didn’t know why, but in feeling this way he wanted to protect her, take care of her, atone for the wrongs he had done. She just didn’t know if she could ever trust a man who had worked for the organisation that had kept her caged like an animal for such a large portion of her life. He had to have known about the atrocities conducted on the subjects, the horrible things they were made to do and the complete lack of humane treatment. He had been a part of her suffering, could she forgive something like that?
She fell back on her earlier assessment; she was alone.
She would trust him until he gave her a reason not to, it was that or try and get by on her own, which just wasn’t an attractive option in the least.
‘I’d say we need to stick together.’ His voice interrupted her thoughts. ‘Unless you two desperately want to go off on your own, I won’t stop you. But I plan on sticking with the Firebug, and staying with me might be the best chance you have of staying alive and free.’
So it was, she found her decision made, he was not going to leave her. Alecia accepted this without question, watched the two Clones, curious as to what they would choose to do. It had to be painful for Beriael to be around her, she was a constant reminder of his suffering, but he would follow his wife and trust her judgement in much the same way that Leci was blindly applying her faith to Amato. If Bitsy deigned that it would be in their best interest to remain in the company of the Firebug and the Prison Guard then he would not argue.
The Condemned Page 9