Here I'll Stay

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Here I'll Stay Page 3

by Dominique Laura


  “Thanks. Again.” My hands twisted in front of me. “Bye.”

  I turned to walk away, and by walk, I mean run. I was definitely, quite literally, going to run away.

  “Wait.” His voice halted my step.

  “Yes?” I didn’t turn around. I convinced myself there was no reason to. Not even for one last glimpse. I couldn’t do that to myself. My body was already half tempted to jump on top of him, wrap my limbs all around him, and never let go.

  “Will I see you around?” He asked, almost timidly.

  How did a girl respond to that? I wasn’t an expert in this department. I wasn’t good at talking, especially to guys. So, I settled on the first thing that came to mind.

  “Don’t you always?” I replied not-so-coolly, before taking off on another run.

  This was why I loved running. It was distracting. I mean, I almost choked myself to sleep and was saved by a devastatingly beautiful boy. But he was practically related to Satan himself. Believe me, I knew how ridiculous that sounded but his cousin was an evil spawn—he always had been and I would never stop saying that—and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was one, too.

  I rolled my eyes at my own ridiculousness. I needed to stop overthinking things.

  They say home is where your heart is, but I didn’t know where my home was, which meant that most of the time my heart was lost. I didn’t know what to make of that. I knew this was part of growing up and part of transitioning into adulthood. I had watched it in movies and read about it in books. There was always a dark period before the heroine found her place in the world. I just didn’t know how long my dark period would last. I wanted to be sure, I wanted to be brave and, most of all, I wanted to be strong. But how could I do that when I was struggling to find my own way? Only time would tell. At least that’s what all the articles I had read online said. The internet had all the answers, right? I only hoped this one was right. I just wished I knew exactly how much time needed to pass because the feeling in my chest, the one that tightened at the thought of college and leaving family—no matter how hurtful they were—was almost too much to bear.

  “Honey,” my mom said as she walked into my room. “Could you please do the dishes once you’re fully awake?”

  I stretched my arms above my head. “Sure thing. I’ll do them in a bit.”

  “Thank you.” She played on her phone for a few moments, replying to messages, I assumed. “Also, I don’t want you to upset your father. You know how he gets.”

  “Me? Upset him? Are you serious?” I sat up straight, now fully awake.

  “Daysie, he’s your father.” She scolded.

  “He sure doesn’t act like it,” I growled.

  “Watch your tone, young lady.”

  “Why? You going to hit me too?”

  “Don’t test me, Daysie, I’m not in the mood.”

  I huffed. “You’re never in the mood. You’re never even here.”

  “I have a job that needs me.”

  “What about your family?” I threw an arm out to emphasize my point. “We need you too. Dad’s going off the rails again. He’s angrier than ever and you just turn your head and go to your job like there aren’t things at home you could be helping with too.”

  Her eyes remained trained on the phone in her hand. “I don’t know what you want me to say, but I don’t have time for this. I have a meeting in an hour that I can’t be late for, so do the dishes and respect your father, that’s all I ask of you.”

  She left my room without another word or glance in my direction.

  I wanted to scream.

  I wanted to kick.

  I wanted to make her understand that I couldn’t do this much longer. I wasn’t sure I had the strength to.

  Well, decision made. Once I did the dishes and respected my dad, or more appropriately ignored him, I was going to have some much-needed girl time with my two best friends. And forget about Brenton.

  Brenton who? My inner voice questioned in support.

  I was already halfway there.

  Two days was enough to forget someone, right? That’s how long it had been since my last run. I desperately needed another.

  “What exactly are you doing right now?”

  “What do you mean?” Sarah asked from her position on the ground, the chalk in her hand gently sliding against the pavement.

  “Why are you writing on the sidewalk?”

  “You’ll see.”

  “I’m not sure I want to.”

  She rolled her eyes, focusing on whatever it was she was doing. Her boyfriend, Corey, was giddy as he mimicked her movements several feet away.

  I turned to Maci and asked, “Mace, I thought we were going to have girl time.”

  “We are.” Sarah responded for her, turning toward me with a smile. “Plus Corey.”

  “I basically count as a girl,” he said, all too happy with that fact.

  “Can’t argue with that,” Maci joked.

  “Hey!” He fake argued, forcing Maci and I to laugh.

  “Be nice to my boyfriend,” Sarah said. “Also, you two could help.”

  “I would if you would tell me what we were doing.” I glanced at Maci. “I’m guessing Mace doesn’t want to do anything because she’s too busy daydreaming about her new boy toy.”

  “You have a new one?” Sarah asked, still focused on the pavement. It looked like she and Corey were drawing squares on top of another.

  “Not necessarily new. I’ve had him before.”

  “Of course, you have. Who is it?”

  “Brenton.”

  My heart stopped. There was no way I heard her correctly. I needed to get a grip and my heart needed to start beating again soon because there was no reason for me to react like a jealous girlfriend, I hardly knew the guy. In fact, I didn’t know him at all.

  It was silent, too silent, then all at once they laughed. All three of them. Even Corey found it funny.

  “Dude, you should have seen the look on your face!” Mace said, her voice shaking from her laughter.

  “I don’t understand,” I said, glaring at them.

  “He isn’t my boy toy.” Maci laughed. “I haven’t even talked to him, in like, two years.”

  “Oh.”

  “Do you like him?” Sarah asked, addressing me.

  “Like who?” I played stupid.

  “Who else?”

  “I don’t really know him.” I shrugged.

  “This is girl time, remember.” All three of them were scolding me.

  “Fine. I don’t really know him but,” I took a deep breath. “If I did, I would more than likely like him.”

  “I effing knew it, dude,” Maci said.

  “There’s nothing to know. This is purely a hypothetical-type situation.”

  “Sure it is.” She smirked.

  “Okay, we’re all set.” Sarah stood and clapped her hands together. “Let’s do this.”

  “Again, I repeat, what are we doing, exactly?” I eyed the squares they had drawn.

  “We are playing hopscotch!”

  Maci and I shared a look. I stared at Corey, who seemed equally as enthused as his girlfriend. It was like Mace and I were on a double date with a pair of five-year-olds. This was going to be interesting.

  After an hour of hopping and scotching, we were on our way home. Luckily the heat had subsided, leaving a cool breeze in its wake because this walk would have been the death of me. Of all of us, I was sure. Winter needed to start feeling like winter and not summer.

  “I honestly didn’t think I even remembered how to hop!” My voice was full of enthusiasm. Genuine enthusiasm. These people brought out the best in me.

  “I seriously thought my ankle was going to fall off or something!” Maci exclaimed, dramatically grabbing her ankle while trying to walk.

  “If you aren’t careful it might fall off now,” Corey said, eyeing her warily as she continued to try and grip her ankle while walking. She stopped and stared at him, sticking her tongue out
.

  “I’m really happy we did this together,” Sarah said. “Whoever said we couldn’t be kids and adults at the same time obviously didn’t know what they were talking about.”

  “Here, here.” We all raised our hands in unison. We did it one drunken night when someone had made a funny, true comment and it had held up ever since.

  Maci and I subtly walked ahead of Corey and Sarah to give them some privacy. I surely didn’t want to witness their love and affection for each other. It was exhausting, and it made my heart ache at the reminder of what I didn’t have, of what I never would have.

  “You know where we should go right now?” Maci piped.

  “The jungle?” I asked with wide eyes.

  “I wish. But seriously, we should go get some ice cream. I could really go for some right now.”

  “Sure. I have some at home,” I said.

  “I was thinking we should go to that place we went to the other day,” Sarah added.

  “You can’t be serious.” My eyes narrowed. I knew what she was getting at and I didn’t want to be a part of it.

  “I’m dead serious,” Maci said with a smirk.

  “Then you can go in by yourself because I’m definitely not going to be a part of that madness again.”

  “Oh yes, you are.” Sarah challenged.

  “I seriously hate you, you know.”

  “Yeah, I know.” Maci fluttered her lashes and laughed.

  “To the ice cream shop we go!” Corey piped from behind us.

  “Yay!” I said with as much false enthusiasm as I could muster.

  If luck was on my side, which it usually wasn’t, then the boy with the pretty blue eyes and deep dimple wouldn’t be working tonight.

  Please, luck, be on my side.

  Luck, the devious little thing, was out to get me. I was sure of it. As soon as we walked into the ice cream parlor, I knew. Maci had a shit-eating grin on her face, Sarah and Corey were in la la land, and I was avoiding looking at the front of the store like Godzilla was hiding up there or something.

  “You should definitely look now, Day,” Mace bumped her side into mine.

  “Screw you. I’m not looking anywhere.” I grumbled.

  “I dare you.” She challenged.

  “What are we in fifth grade?” I raised an eyebrow.

  “Fine.” She rolled her eyes then stared straight into mine. “I double dog dare you.”

  “Damn.” She knew she had me there. I mustered up some courage by taking a long, deep breath. “Fine.”

  I let my eyes skim toward the front of the store.

  Still no sign of him.

  They skimmed over the ice cream flavors and the faces of the people serving them from behind.

  Still no sign.

  I took a deep breath. I might have been in the clear after all.

  Wrong.

  My eyes widened as they took him in. He was standing behind the register, showing off his perfect white teeth and sharing his dimple with the customers standing in front of him.

  The very attractive customers, might I add. It was obvious the group of girls had their flirting game on because one let her finger graze his wrist when she took the change he handed back to her.

  My eyes narrowed. Didn’t the chase exist anymore? Obviously not.

  I noticed his smile change to something more polite and the grip on my chest loosened. He watched the girls walk toward the exit, which just so happened to be where we were standing since it was also the entrance.

  I sidestepped, allowing the girls to pass but my eyes never left Brenton. That’s when I felt my phone buzz in my hand. I answered it quickly, too grateful for the distraction to notice who was calling.

  “Hello?” I rushed out.

  “Don’t be pissed but we totally just left you in the shop by yourself.”

  The voice on the other end was Maci’s but what the hell was she talking about?

  “What?” I asked, confused.

  “We left you. Now go talk to that hunk of a boy and enjoy his company.”

  “What are you talking about?” I looked around the shop but my friends were nowhere in sight. I didn’t even notice them leave and for some reason that bothered me.

  “We knew you needed a little push and this is our way of giving it to you,” she said. I didn’t like how excited she sounded and I knew that if she were standing in front of me that she would have the biggest smile on her face.

  “This is seriously messed up.” I looked back toward the register but someone else was standing in his place. “Seriously, what kind of push is this? It’s definitely more of a shove.”

  “Whatever it is, you needed it.”

  “I didn’t need a thing.”

  “If there was ever a thing you did need, this would be it.”

  “You all suck, you know that?”

  “I do. But we suck in the best way possible, so I’m happy with it.”

  “Ugh, whatever.” I grumbled.

  “Has he noticed you yet?”

  I sighed. “Yes, unfortunately he has.”

  “Well is he still noticing you?” Excitement filled her tone. I hated it.

  “No.”

  “Are you sure about that?”

  “Yes.”

  “Really?” She challenged.

  “No.”

  I turned to leave the shop when a body bumped into me, or maybe I was the one who bumped into the body. Either way, somebody bumped into somebody. I gripped the shoulder of the person, an apology ready on my lips, when my eyes caught sight of a dimple. Luck sure was cruel sometimes.

  “I have to go.”

  “Give me the details later, sweets.”

  I hung up the phone and slid it into my pocket, my eyes never leaving the dimple above me. He was about a foot taller than me, so I was able to admire him from afar, and by afar, I mean below. I just hoped he wouldn’t notice me from down here. At least he wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for the fact that my hand was still gripping his shoulder. When would I learn?

  “Daysie.” It wasn’t a question. Gosh, why did I like the way my name sounded coming from his mouth?

  I nodded. It was all I could do.

  Oh, and grip his shoulder because I was definitely still doing that.

  “You weren’t just leaving, were you?” He asked, hopeful of my answer.

  “No of course not.” I let out a nervous laugh, my whole body shaking with... Fear? Anxiety? All I knew is that he was the most handsome guy to ever talk to me without being a jerk and I didn’t know how to respond to that.

  “Good because I just got on lunch and I’d like to hang out.”

  “Hang out?”

  “Yeah. With you.”

  “With me?” I squeaked.

  “Yes.” He nodded, his eyes somehow twinkling as he did. It must have been the lighting. “With you.”

  “Why?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Why would you want to hang out with me when your cousin is such an asshole?” I asked, an edge to my voice.

  Perfect timing, Day. Way to go.

  “My cousin has nothing to do with me?” It came out as a question. He couldn’t be that delusional.

  “You share the same genetics.” I accused.

  “Right.” His brow furrowed. “But not the same mind, or heart. I wouldn’t treat you the way he does.”

  “I don’t understand.” I shook my head.

  “You don’t have to. Just trust me.”

  “Trust you?”

  “I’m not asking for your hand in marriage. All I’m asking for is a hang out.”

  “Fine.” I conceded. The boy had a point.

  “That was easier than I thought it was going to be.” He smiled, and the indention in his right cheek deepened.

  Gosh that dimple really was going to be the death of me.

  “So, this is hanging out?” I leaned back against the plush seat of the booth.

  “Haven’t you ever done this before?” He lean
ed on his forearms, his interest as clear as the blue in his eyes.

  It had only been a few minutes and already I was learning how expressive those almond-shaped eyes were. They were almost as dangerous as that dimple.

  “I haven’t really had the chance,” I admitted.

  “That I don’t believe.”

  I shrugged, a little embarrassed at my admission. “It’s true. I mean, I’ve done plenty of hanging out, just with my best friends. Never really with a guy, you know.”

  He looked almost baffled as he asked, “Why is that?”

  “I guess they’ve never really wanted to. Most just want quick kisses and even quicker goodbyes. I’m the same way though, so I can’t really blame them.”

  “It’s their loss.” He looked me straight in the eyes. “If you’ll believe me on anything, believe me on that.”

  I gulped.

  What were these gigantic things flying around in my stomach? And why weren’t they going away? I needed a grip and a voice, and I needed to find it before he thought I had lost my nerve or something. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but still.

  “Okay,” I said simply.

  Brenton looked pleased.

  Good choice of words, Day. You go, girl! My inner self cheered on.

  “Are your eyes naturally that green?” he asked.

  “Are yours naturally that blue?” I fired back.

  “Good point.” He smirked, a smile playing on his lips. “And since you asked, as a matter of fact they sure are.”

  “So are mine.” My fingers twiddled in my lap. “Although sometimes I forget that they’re green so when people ask or stare I sort of freak out a little but then I remember how uncommon green eyes are, at least around here or at our school or somewhere, I don’t know. Anyway, I don’t feel so awkward. Usually anyway.”

  Stop rambling.

  A low chuckle visibly vibrated through his chest and I swear I felt my heart burst at the visual. But the sound, that was so much better. It was low and manly, and those pesky giant flying things were starting to flutter. I was definitely losing it.

 

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