by Julia Goda
“You’re gonna snap my control,” he said, his voice strained now.
I kept glaring.
“Ivey,” a warning. His hand was coming up towards my face again, and I took a step back, still glaring.
“That counter is not gonna save you.” Another warning.
Thankfully, I was saved by the bell so to speak, when the door opened. I could see Cal clench his teeth in annoyance. I smiled at him smugly. Big mistake. The heat was back in full force, this time mixed with determination.
Oh shit.
Now what had I done?
I escaped his eyes by quickly walking over and seeing to my customer. This took a while. Ruth was one of my old biddies, who had come in for a chat about the latest book she had finished. She was really old, my guess, in her late eighties, but believe it or not, she was into romance novels big time, not the fluffy ones either—steamy romances with gruff and hot cowboys were her favourite. When I teased her about it once, she gave me the stare and deadpanned, “My dear, I’ve been a widow for more than a decade. Doesn’t mean I don’t have certain needs. Gonna have to wait until I meet my Herb again, but until then this has to do.” I had been speechless. Who would have thought that eighty-year-old grannies still had ‘certain needs’ and were open about sharing that information? Something to look forward to, I guess.
Our conversation apparently took too long for the boys to wait out, so they got ready to leave after about fifteen minutes. Looking over Ruth’s shoulder, I could see Cal approaching. When my eyes didn’t come back to her, Ruth stopped speaking and turned around.
“Young man, it’s not polite to interrupt a discussion,” she seemed disgruntled. “Wait your turn,” she finished, then turned back around to facing me and resumed talking. Cal completely ignored her and came to stand at my side, pulling me towards him with one hand at my hip. He then brushed his lips against my temple softly and said, “Later, babe,” then let me go and walked out the door.
I stood there, dumbfounded.
“See you finally got yourself a man,” Ruth mumbled under her breath happily. “A hot one.”
“He isn’t my man.”
“Looked like it to me. Judging by his manner, he considers you his woman.”
“That’s ridiculous. He can consider all he wants. That doesn’t mean that’s what’s actually happening.”
Ruth harrumphed. “My dear, if I had a man like that pursue me, I would definitely not run the other way. Take the advise from an old biddy like me and tap that.”
“Ruth!” I exclaimed, appalled.
“What?” she asked innocently.
“I can’t believe you just advised me to tap Cal Bennett!”
“Why not? Perfectly fine man.”
“That’s not what I meant. I can’t believe you would advise me to tap any man.”
“Told you, dear, I am old, but I am still a woman,” she said, then dove back into telling me all about the hot cowboy from her last romance novel.
*****
This was getting ridiculous. For nine years I had hardly seen Cal in town at all, and now it felt like he was everywhere. He was at the diner when I got my lunch, at Lola’s when I got my daily morning fix—where he insisted on paying for my coffee—, at the grocery store, even at the damn post office. And he always stared at me with those hot eyes of his, no matter what I was doing. I could be waiting in line somewhere and he would walk in, just look at me or come over and ask me how my day was going. Or I could be standing on the sidewalk talking to somebody and he would stop and stand beside me, joining the conversation for a few minutes, then give me a warm smile and a kiss on my temple or forehead and leave with a “Later, babe”. I couldn’t escape him. Those little touches and sometimes warm, sometimes heated, sometimes amused looks were driving me absolutely insane. Okay, they did turn my insides to mush as well, but I decided to focus on the first. I even tried and switched it up and went for lunch at different times, but he was always there. It was almost as if he knew when I would be there. Like a freakin’ clairvoyant-pain-in-my-ass.
I was sitting in Macy’s passenger seat on our way to the park with the kids when I shared this with her.
“Really, Mace, it’s weird. It’s like he knows exactly where I will be at any given time of the day. What, does he have people spying on me and reporting in? Noting all my comings and goings on a flipping huge white board in his office? Or you think he’s psychic or something?”
“Phfft. That’s silly, Ivey,” Macy responded, keeping her eyes fixed on the road.
“How else does he do it then?” I was grumbling, crossing my arms over my chest, and looking out the side window, so I didn’t see Macy biting her lip in an effort to control her amusement.
“I don’t know. What I do know is that Larry and I warned you that he wouldn’t give up. You say he’s behaving like you’re a couple. To him you probably already are,” there was laughter in her voice and I turned my head to look at her.
“You think this is funny?” I asked, exasperated.
“Oh yeah. I think it’s hilarious,” her shoulders were now shaking. I narrowed my eyes at her. “Mace,” I said in a low voice, “you promised.”
Macy stopped laughing to give me a sideways glance. “No, I didn’t. I said I understood why you are scared. I also said that you deserve to be loved and adored by a man. I want that for you, so I am not helping you avoid Cal, but am enjoying the show instead.”
“Great,” I grumbled under my breath. “So much for your best friend having your back. Just remember, payback is a bitch.”
“What’s a bitch, auntie Ivey?” This came from Lucy who had been silently sitting in the backseat, probably eavesdropping. That little devil. I made big eyes at Macy, asking for help. She ignored me.
“Um…a bitch is a female dog, wolf, fox, or otter,” I explained. There, that should do it. Give her the boring facts in the hopes she will drop it. No such luck. This was Lucy after all.
“What’s female?” Lucy asked.
“A girl.”
“So girl dogs, wolves, and foxes are called bitch?”
“Yes. And girl otters.”
“Huh.”
I gave Macy another look. Her shoulders were shaking again, but she kept her eyes straight ahead. We arrived at the park and unloaded the children from the SUV. Lucy and Conner ran ahead and were already climbing up the structure, when Macy and I arrived with Noah.
“Auntie Ivey, look at me!” Lucy screamed at me from across the park, hanging on the monkey bars.
“I see, honey, you’re doing great!” I shouted back.
Noah was pulling me towards the swing. I lifted him up and pushed him for a while. He was such a laid back little guy. Conner came running over to us, demanding I push him as well.
“Veevee push!” he shouted at me.
“Please?”
“Pease push!” God he was cute.
“All right little man,” I lifted him up to put him on the swing but instead held him up and blew a raspberry on his stomach, making him squeal and kick. After the third time he screeched “Unke, unke!” So I let up and put him on the swing. I was giving the boys pushes and telling them to pump their legs when I heard someone shout, “Heads up!”
I looked up to see a football coming straight at me. I ducked my head just in time instead of catching it, probably looking like a complete dork. When I looked up again to see who almost killed me, I saw none other than Cal jogging towards me. He was grinning big.
Oh my God! You have got to be kidding me!
“What are you doing here?” I snapped at him before he had reached me.
“Hello to you, too,” was his reply.
“Cal—,” that was all I could get out, because right then he pulled me into him by my waist and kissed my temple. I was so shocked at this that my body locked, but I couldn’t prevent the slight shiver of my body when his lips touched me. His knowing amusement showed in his eyes when he looked down at me.
“What! Are you
stalking me?” I decided to get angry, since being angry was easier than dealing with my body’s betrayal.
“No. Just lucky. Tommy and I have been here for the past twenty minutes tossing a ball.”
I was so sure! I kept glaring at him. He started chuckling.
“Who are you?” I looked down to see Lucy had joined us and was standing next to me.
“I’m Cal. Who are you?”
“Lucy.”
“Hey, Ivey,” Tommy had walked over and stopped beside his dad.
“Hey, Tommy,” I was still glaring at his dad, which Tommy apparently found funny, because he also started chuckling. I transferred my glare to him, which made his smile grow bigger, which made me narrow my eyes further, which made him and his dad laugh. What was it with these guys?
“Picked your puppy,” Cal said after he controlled his laughter.
I glared back at him and put my hands at my hips, leaning in.
“I told you I didn’t need a puppy,” I snapped.
“You’re still getting one,” Cal replied amused but firm.
“You’re getting a puppy? Yay!!” Lucy screeched in delight, her hands going up in the air, her little body jumping up and down.
“Yeah, she’s a beauty. Pure breed Chocolate Lab. Ten weeks old. We can pick her up in two weeks,” Tommy informed me, still smiling.
“A bitch! A bitch! Auntie Ivey is getting a bitch!” Lucy was now running towards her mother with her hands still waving above her head in excitement.
“A bitch?” Cal asked, his eyes dancing. I rolled my eyes to the heavens, asking for patience. When I looked back at him I explained, “She heard me use the word bitch and asked what it was, so I explained it to her.”
“Ah. I’m guessing you weren’t talking about a dog?”
My response was to glare at him again, which made him grin. Going back to the topic at hand I said, “Really, Cal, I don’t want a dog.” This was a lie. I wanted a dog. I even thought it was a good idea as a single woman living a little ways up the mountain to have one. I just didn’t want a dog from him.
“Ivey, you’re getting a dog. You’ve got two weeks to get used to the idea and come up with a name,” his voice was firm in the sense that I knew I couldn’t talk him out of it.
“Fine,” I snapped, sounding very ungrateful.
“As I said, baby, keep up the attitude.” He was coming closer toward me, his voice low and sexy, snaking an arm around my waist, and pulling me into his body. Remembering what he had said to me about giving him attitude, I started to panic. Oh no, he was not going to kiss me senseless in a park full of children! What was I saying? He was not going to kiss me senseless anywhere! I had my hands on his chest pushing against him, trying to get free of his hold, but he only tightened his grip around my waist. His eyes were hot on me with a determination that scared me a little. I kept pushing when his other arm came up to hold me gently at the side of my neck. Then he brushed his lips across my cheek, close enough to the corner of my mouth that he slightly brushed the edge of my lips, let me go, and walked to his truck with Tommy right beside him.
I let out the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding, pretended that his soft kiss hadn’t made my stomach flutter, and turned around to see Macy standing close by, her head turned towards Cal’s retrieving back. Then she looked at me and started grinning big. I rolled my eyes at her and stomped away to play with the kids, completely ignoring her snicker.
Chapter Eight
Memories
Ivey
For most people, memories are something to cherish. Something to appreciate. Something to cling to in times of need.
Not for me.
For me, memories are something that has haunted me all my life.
They are something I try to forget.
To bury in the deep recesses of my mind, never to resurface again.
Be it my childhood memories that consisted of my father beating and abusing my mother while making me watch, of getting beaten so many times myself that I had created a rating system from one to ten, with one being just a slap across the face and ten having to find clothes that would cover up all the marks and bruises he had left, of feeling unprotected and abandoned by the two people that were supposed to love me unconditionally.
Of feeling so very alone.
No dance recitals, sleepovers, birthday parties, play dates, and girl scouts for me.
No, for me, there was only pain.
Be it in elementary school where I was too shy to talk to anyone, to look into anyone’s eyes; where I would spend recess sitting by myself under the tree, staring up at the sky, lost in thoughts—or if I was lucky and nobody snatched it away from me, I would be on the swing with my head bent back, my face up to the sky, my long hair touching the ground, eyes closed, pretending I was flying away, disappearing in the clouds, never to be seen again.
Be it my teenage years when instead of enjoying parties with my friends, getting drunk and doing stupid shit, going out on dates and dances, falling in love with my first boyfriend, brought me nothing but humiliation.
Or be it during my college years when I promised myself a fresh start, a new life, a life free of violence and degradation, when I had thought I had finally broken through all the darkness and would be free to be me, fate again taught me a lesson and knocked me back down where I belonged.
So, no good and happy memories for me.
Not until I came to Cedar Creek and met Macy. My happy memories were here, with my friends, my chosen family, my chosen home, and slowly they were starting to outweigh the ones that had came before.
Chapter Nine
Cal’s Woman
Ivey
The reason that made me fall in love with my house was the beautiful front porch. When Linda, the town realtor, drove me a little ways up the mountain through the woods, coming out at a beautiful clearing with this cute little house on it that had a side porch overlooking the town, I was sold. I could see myself sitting out there in the morning, sipping my coffee, at night after a long day of work, sipping my beer.
Solitude.
Contentment.
I fell in love with it right then and there. I didn’t really care what the inside of the house looked like. I wanted to buy it just for the porch. Lucky for me, the inside was just as gorgeous, if a little outdated, but that was something I could work on. It was perfect. That same morning I made an offer and had the keys in my hand two days later. I was home.
People in town were worried about me up here. Though it really wasn’t that far. Just a five-minute drive up. But a woman all by herself up the mountain in an old farmhouse with nobody close by to come for help was something people weren’t comfortable with. There wasn’t much crime in our town, but during tourist season, which actually was pretty much year round, but peaked in the summer months for hiking and the winter months for skiing—different types of tourists for the different seasons—, there were a lot of strangers around, and people were known to do stupid shit. Especially those rich college kids that came here during ski season and got sloshed every night. But I felt safe. I knew better than most people that even when you were surrounded by people living in a neighbourhood and needed help, that didn’t mean anyone would actually come to help. No, people preferred to ignore something was going on, since if they didn’t, they’d be expected to do something about it.
This was better. Much better. To come up here, you needed to know exactly where you were going. That’s how hidden my little piece of heaven was. I wasn’t worried. If someone wanted to do me harm, they could do that anywhere in the world. And if someone came up here to hurt me, they would do it swiftly. Getting beaten up doesn’t take long. A few minutes tops. Not enough time for anyone to come to my rescue, even if they lived right next door. Cal was right, a dog might be a good idea. Though I wasn’t going to tell him that.
Coffee in my hand, enjoying the view and planning my day, I heard a car coming up my drive. No, not a car. A truck. A big truck.
&n
bsp; What the hell?
A visitor at eight in the morning on a Saturday? Not cool. People who knew me understood that they shouldn’t come knocking before at least nine o’clock, which meant after I’d had my first cup of coffee. I was a zombie and cranky as hell before I had my first coffee. I wasn’t even dressed yet!
I looked down at myself to check. My favourite dusty purple coloured nighty with the grey trim lace around my chest, grey thick wool socks, and a heavy dark grey wool cardigan that was belted loosely around my waist. At least I had shaved last night in the bathtub. My hair was probably a rat’s nest since I hadn’t brushed it yet and went to bed last night with it still being wet. My hair took forever to dry.
So already in a snit over my unwanted company and my state of undress in that unwanted company, I got up from my Adirondack chair and walked around to my front steps, waiting with my arms crossed, which everyone knew was woman code for “What the fuck?”
When the truck came into view and I saw who was behind the wheel, my temper flared. Oh, fuck no! This was not happening! What the hell was he doing here?
I narrowed my eyes when Cal stopped his truck right in front of my steps, which meant right in front of me, and got out. Shit. He was dressed in another pair of really nice jeans, brown boots, a thermal and a plaid shirt that emphasized his nice hard chest.
Instead of getting turned on, I decided to go from being in a snit straight into bitch mode. Hey, a girl can only take so much. Getting a surprise visit from a hot guy early on a Saturday morning when everyone knows you’re not supposed to get dressed and showered before nine o’clock—that’s what Saturdays (and Sundays by the way) are for, everyone knows that— was just too much to take. Acting like a teenage girl in front of said hot guy twice, and then being stalked for a week; being completely confused and irritated by your own reaction that for whatever stupid reason you are unable to control; all that was enough to deal with. Him showing up at my own little piece of heaven, disturbing my peace and quiet on a Saturday morning was too much. And again. I haven’t even had my coffee yet!