by Julia Goda
“I think you are one lucky kid. This is heaven!” And it was. I would have loved to have a room like this in my house.
“More heaven than coffee and cookies and chocolate?” Tommy smirked at me teasingly.
“Well…nothing is more heavenly than coffee and cookies and chocolate, but just saying if you ever need to bribe me again…” I let that sentence hang and winked at him, which gave me a short boyish laugh as reward.
I kept looking around the room and noticed a number of photographs placed in the bookshelves. At closer inspection I realized they were photos of family and friends. Tommy in all stages of his life with either his dad or Betty or Pete or all three of them. There were a couple of pictures of a woman holding a small baby. I walked over to take a closer look.
“That’s my mother. I don’t know why dad keeps her pictures up.” His voice sounded sad and a little guarded. I could tell that his mother was not something he liked to talk about, but I could also sense that he was trying to downplay his emotions. He had a mother who had left him when he was a baby, who didn’t care enough to fight for him. Yes, he had a great dad and loving grandparents, but he was still a kid who had been abandoned by his mother, and I could relate to what that felt like. I walked over to where he was still standing in the middle of the room and put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Tommy,” I whispered. His eyes flashed to mine and the sadness in them made my breath hitch. “You know, if you ever need someone to talk to about anything, I’m a pretty good listener.” He swallowed and gave me a small nod before he averted his eyes and straightened his shoulders, getting a handle on his emotions. I squeezed his shoulder, then let go, and changed the subject.
“You gonna show me that awesome game room of yours you were bragging about? Maybe challenge me to a race or a game of pool?” Tommy smiled up at me in gratitude for changing the subject before he walked around me towards the stairs while saying, “I’m still trying to get the hang of pool and I don’t like racing games, but we can play World of Warcraft. There’s a new version coming out next month, so for now we’ll have to make do with Warlords of Draenor. It’s awesome! Have you ever played it?” I had no idea what he was talking about, but was willing to give it a try. “Nope, I haven’t, but I’m all game if you are.” That earned me another grin.
Tommy and I were deep into the alternate universe of Draenor. It was all very confusing to me with its demons and clans and dungeons and raids, but I tried to pay close attention to what Tommy was doing on the screen while he tried to explain to me what was going on and who was who and what was what when Cal came downstairs informing us that dinner was ready.
“Oh, thank God,” I mumbled under my breath after Tommy had dropped his controller on the couch and was sprinting up the stairs. Apparently, he was hungry again. “Not a fan?” Cal came over to where I was sitting on the couch and grabbed my hand to pull me up into his body. I dropped my controller and leaned my forehead against his chest. “That game is confusing as hell. I think I’m getting old,” I whined. Cal chuckled.
“It’s not you. If you want to understand World of Warcraft, you have to start at the beginning, not at the end.” I gave him a look that communicated that there was no chance in hell I would start at the first version and play my way through the end of number five to be up to speed. Seemed like he understood me perfectly, because what he did in response was kiss my forehead and mumble, “Never mind. Let’s go eat.” Excellent idea.
I grabbed my half-finished beer from the table and let Cal lead me upstairs to the kitchen, where the table was set for the three of us.
The scent that assaulted me upon entering the kitchen made my mouth water. I loved Mexican food, but could never quite succeed in getting a handle on cooking it myself to my satisfaction. Going by the delicious smell and look of what was laid out for us, Cal knew exactly what he was doing in the kitchen.
“That smells great!” I complimented Cal enthusiastically and headed towards the table.
Tommy was already sitting down and loading up his first taco when Cal and I made it to the table. I surveyed all the goodness and started building my own beef taco with fresh peppers, black beans, tomatoes, cilantro, cheese and lots of sour cream and guacamole. When I took my first bite, my eyes bugged out at the sensation of all the flavours exploding on my tongue.
Yes, Cal definitely knew what he was doing in the kitchen.
I leaned my head back, closed my eyes and let out a deep and satisfied groan, that’s how delicious it was. At the feeling of my neck prickling, telling me that I had eyes on me, I tipped my chin back down to face Cal, as he was the one I suspected was watching me. The look in his eyes made me stop chewing abruptly. Just like earlier in the kitchen, his eyes were hungry and he was staring at me.
Though this time I wasn’t confused.
Not in the slightest.
I could read his expression without any doubt as to its meaning.
He was looking at me like he wanted to eat me, which was probably exactly what he intended to do. His promise of ‘Later’ became clear now and my body started tingling all over. I had to close my eyes as to not be overwhelmed by the shiver that was threatening to run through my body.
“Baby,” Cal called. There it was again.
Baby.
This time in a growly voice that made my body tighten in anticipation.
I opened my eyes and looked back at him, held captive by his eyes.
“You gotta tune it down. Have some mercy,” he growled.
“Okay,” I quickly answered.
Cal roamed his eyes over my face, then grinned his sexy grin at me and started digging into his own food, while saying, “Told you my tacos would blow your mind.” He was absolutely right. His tacos were mind blowing. No, not mind blowing. They were mind blasting.
During the rest of dinner the three of us chatted about everything and nothing and laughed about Tommy’s stories on how the girls in his class were making gooey eyes at him and following him around. It was too funny. Already, it was clear to see that Tommy would be the king of high school and could pick and choose whoever he wanted to date. What shocked me a little was the fact that at eleven years old he already had a good head on his shoulders when it came to girls. “Gonna keep my eyes open for a good one. There aren’t that many out there, so I gotta start looking now.” He didn't mean this in a demeaning or condescending way, but more like he knew what he wanted and would make sure he would get it in the end. It seemed to me like Cal was doing a fantastic job of raising a respectful son who would turn into a good man. That made the warm and gushy feeling in my stomach return.
Cal
It felt good to have Ivey in his house. She looked comfortable here and he had liked hearing her voice when she was talking to Tommy on their tour while he was cooking their dinner.
Like a family.
Until that moment, he hadn’t realized that he longed to give Tommy a family, that he wanted a woman to complete their family of two. But having Ivey here in his house and seeing how Tommy reacted to her, solidified his already firm plans for their future in his mind. She fit in with them perfectly, belonged with them. And he was going to make damn sure that she would stay exactly where she belonged.
Tommy was on board. He loved Ivey. He also knew when his dad was serious about something and he supported him in making Ivey a part of their lives. Now all he had to do was convince her that this was where she belonged.
With them.
In their house.
Or in hers.
He knew it wouldn’t be easy, knew that he was going to have to fight a lot of battles to prove himself to her, but he also knew that, contrary to Grant’s warning that day, Ivey was definitely worth the effort. She was worth any fight and frustration and time it would take him to crack her wide open and give herself to him completely.
And that’s what he wanted.
All of her.
And in return he would give her all of him.
He would settl
e for nothing less.
She was going to keep holding back from him to protect herself. He understood that compulsion, though he still had no clue what exactly had happened to her other than that she had been hurt emotionally, that someone had screwed her over royally. But how and by whom and to what extent he was still waiting to find out.
Bane hadn’t gotten back to him yet with that information. It had only been a day and he had said to give him a week, but Cal was already getting impatient. He needed to know what he was dealing with. It was crucial in his effort to break through to her. He could tell that if he didn’t take on her demons right away, prove to her that she had nothing to fear from him, she would never believe that they had a future together, would never open up to him enough to work on and believe in that future with him.
He wanted it all.
And by all he meant everything.
The whole nine yards.
She was going to be his wife and Tommy’s mother and would give him beautiful babies. It might seem crazy and impulsive that, after hooking up with women for ten years, he was a hundred percent sure that Ivey was the one after only one date, but he could feel it in his gut. Had been feeling it in his gut, but had been to pansy assed and stubborn to go after her. Thank God he had finally gotten his head out of his ass and claimed her as his. Still, he was annoyed with himself that he had wasted nine years of both their lives and was now impatient to make up for it.
He would show her that she could trust him. She already did, but didn’t trust her own judgment enough to feel safe in that trust. He could see caution in her eyes and he needed that gone. Starting tonight, he would show her and he would stop at nothing to prove to her that they were the real deal. That there was no other option for them but to go all the way. Together. He just had to be careful to not push her too hard too fast, and make her run in the opposite direction.
So he would be patient. Show her who he was and what kind of life they would have. Let her get used to him so that she wanted, no, needed that life with him.
Chapter Fourteen
Safe
Ivey
Feeling safe.
I had never really known what it felt like to be safe.
It was something that I had never really experienced.
Being able to rely on someone to keep you safe and protected, no matter what, to keep you away from danger, from harm, was a concept that was foreign to me.
To have someone who cares about you.
Someone who thinks you are important.
Someone who cherishes you.
Who makes you laugh.
Who respects you.
Who wants you exactly for who you are.
It’s a scary thought to trust someone enough to do all of that and do it because they want to. They do it not because they feel obligated to, but because they want to protect you, because keeping you close and safe is part of who they are.
Because it comes natural to them.
Because you mean something to them.
Because you being safe is important to them.
Because you are important to them.
Because they need you to feel safe and protected.
To feel safe and comfortable enough to be you.
The you you want to be.
To be free.
Yeah, it’s a scary thought.
Chapter Fifteen
Giving In
Ivey
We were all sitting in the living room around the fireplace. I was on my third beer and snuggled into one end of the couch with both my feet up—and yes, the couch was just as cozy and comfy as it had looked when I first laid eyes on it. Cal was sitting at the other end with one knee angled up on the seat, his arm thrown wide over the back so he was facing me. Tommy was lying on the thick carpet, leaning on one elbow, supporting his head with his hand. It was slowly getting dark outside now, which gave the living room a dusky glow that made it all the more comfortable. I hadn’t been relaxed like this in male company in a long time, which wasn’t surprising, since I hadn’t let my guard down in solely male company in almost ten years, so the questions that started took me off guard.
“So, Ivey, where are you from?” Tommy asked me casually. He didn’t mean anything by it, couldn’t know that he might potentially open a can of worms, but his simple question made me tense in apprehension of what questions might follow. I tried to keep my calm and reply casually, but Cal wasn’t fooled by my act and had gotten alert. He was watching me closely, probably waiting for another episode he’d have to save me from.
“I was born in Chicago,” I told Tommy.
“Did you go to school there?” he kept asking.
“No, I went to school in Boston. BU to be exact.”
“What did you go to school for?”
“I studied Literature and Creative Writing.”
“So you have a degree in books?” He grinned at me, trying to tease me now, and I had to force a smile to my face.
“No, I never finished my degree.” This was heading in an even more uncomfortable direction now. He was going to ask me why, and I had no idea how to answer that question without giving too much away. I was right.
“How come?” I took a deep breath and kept the information to a minimum without being rude when I said in a quiet voice, “Things didn’t work out for me that well in Boston and I needed a change. So I left during my senior year and came here.” I could feel Cal’s eyes on me, but I kept my gaze on Tommy, knowing he wasn’t done interrogating me and trying desperately not to let Cal see how uncomfortable I was getting. Tommy was just like his father. Like a dog with a bone I knew he wouldn’t let go until my answers satisfied his curiosity.
“So your family lives in Chicago?” I didn’t see that one coming. I thought he would keep asking about the whys and hows of my unsuccessful college career, about what made me come to Cedar Creek, something I could be evasive enough about. But questions about my family had my body go stiff. But since I didn’t want to lie to Tommy, I settled for telling him truth, but kept it to the basics, as basic as I was able to make them.
“My mother died during my freshman year of college and my nana died one year later. As far as I know my father still lives in Chicago, but we don’t talk, so I’m not sure.” Please don’t ask about my father, please don’t ask about my father, I chanted in my head.
“Do you have any siblings?” I shook my head.
“So you’re all alone?” Tommy asked incredulously. I had to smile at his obvious concern for me. He was such a good kid.
“No, I’m not all alone. I’ve got friends. But if you mean do I have any family, then the answer would be no. But it’s okay, Tommy. I’ve got good friends who take good care of me and I’ve got my bookstore to keep me busy.” His eyes had narrowed on me, then moved to his dad and narrowed further before they settled back on me.
“I don’t like you being alone. Good thing we’re getting you a puppy. Dogs are like family,” his voice sounded grumpy now, which made me smile at him.
“Thank you, Tommy. You’re a good kid. Thanks for being worried about me, but I promise you I’m okay,” I tried to reassure him. Tommy didn’t seem to be convinced, though, since he kept his narrowed eyes on me. He was looking at me just like his grandma had when I had told her I was okay, right before she had laid me out. I braced for that but was saved by Cal.
“Bud, time for bed. It’s a school night.” Tommy didn’t take his eyes off of me for a few more seconds, but then looked at his dad and complied, “Okay, dad.” He said goodnight on his way to his room, then disappeared behind the door. I looked at Cal to see his eyes still on me, still alert and braced again. Good thing I did, too, because without preamble he dived right in.
Cal
“Someone hurt you.” A statement, not a question. Ivey tensed but said nothing.
“Someone hit you.”
There. Something. A flicker of pain. But still she said nothing, just kept her eyes locked on his. The image of someone
hitting her that flashed before his eyes gutted him, but he pushed through that and kept going.
“Someone beat you.” She closed her eyes in defeat, then slowly nodded.
“More than once,” he gritted through clenched teeth, keeping a loose hold on his control, which he knew was essential in this moment to make her open up to him.
Another nod, then a stray tear ran down her cheek, gutting him even further.
Someone had beat his woman.
More than once.
It didn’t matter that it had happened before she had been his woman, before he had even known she existed. The rage that seared through him took his breath away. He wanted to hunt that asshole down and give him a taste of his own medicine.
And he would, but not right now.
Right now he had to take care of Ivey. She was his first priority.
So he swallowed down his fury to deal with later and whispered, “Open your eyes, sweetheart.” She did. Slowly and hesitantly, but she finally gave him her eyes. The fake calmness that she had tried to keep in place when she had answered Tommy’s questions was now gone. In its place were pain, sadness, and wariness. Wariness about his reaction, he guessed.
Cal’s hand came up to touch the side of her face. She flinched. His chest tightened at that reflexive reaction, but he didn’t lower his hand. She was strung tight, but he moved slowly and didn’t stop until he gently cupped her face and pulled her towards him. Another tear escaped and ran down her cheek. Cal saw it and caught it with a swipe of his thumb, then looked deep into her eyes.
“Baby,” he whispered in a hoarse voice, his pain for what had been done to her evident as he kept stroking her cheekbone. Sadness turned into determination when he declared quietly but firmly, “I would never hurt you like that. No man should ever lay a hand on a woman in anger. If anyone ever tries to hurt you again, I will rip their fucking throat out. You are mine now and I protect what’s mine. You are safe with me, but you know that, baby, don’t you?”