Never Say Never

by Tina Leonard

  “It doesn’t help that we have another winter storm rolling in,” Dustin told her. “Are you sure you don’t want to get out before the roads get icy?”

  Jill stood and crossed to the window. Looking at the landscape, she said, “I’m just as happy to stay indoors where it’s warm.”

  And safe. It was unspoken, but Jill was right. None of them had been able to relax, Maxine’s unfortunate visit having added to the air of tension. He cleared his throat.

  “Jill, I’m sure you heard some of what was said between Maxine Copeland and me this morning.”

  “Mostly Maxine,” she murmured, not looking at him.

  “I don’t want you to worry about anything where she’s concerned. She is a very confused and unhappy person who wants everyone around her to be miserable, too.”

  She met his gaze. “You’re not letting me go?”

  “I’m too much of an ass for that, remember? Way too selfish,” he assured her. “You’re the only housekeeper who will stay on with us, anyway.”

  Although she smiled slightly, he could tell Maxine’s words had found their mark. He wanted to reassure Jill, but if he said what he really wanted to, he risked stirring up the uneasiness between them. She had to have heard Marsh call her a bed warmer. The last thing he wanted her to think was that he hoped she would become that.

  “I’m going to speak to Mother, then I’ll be off to get the chicken,” he said gruffly. “Let me know if there’s anything you want from the grocery store since we’re looking for bad weather.”

  “All right.” Their gazes touched, and as crystal blue eyes met dark ones, a flash of wary communication passed between them. She’d ceased packing her suitcase for the moment, but he sensed she hadn’t enjoyed the day’s events. For Jill to cry, her feelings had to have been pretty hurt. Reluctantly, he turned in the doorway, uncertain as to what to say.

  Then he swiveled around. “Jill, you can leave the ranch any time the job gets to be too much for you. Your bonus is assured whether or not you stay the entire year. You can call it combat pay or whatever you like, but you damn well deserve it. You have nerves of steel and a determined stubbornness that I’ve never seen in a woman other than my mother. You fit in this family, and we’d miss you like hell if you left.”

  Those lips had parted again, those eyes had widened as far as they could go, all having an unnerving effect on him. Dustin turned and slammed the door behind him, figuring he’d probably made a huge jackass out of himself for sure this time.

  But if saying his piece would keep the lady in his home, then he’d gladly accept the label of jackass.

  Astonishment flowed through Jill at Dustin’s words. His support was warming. The fact he was standing behind her despite Marsh’s and Maxine’s misgivings was wonderful. But the best part was that now she knew Dustin at least respected her.

  Of course, men respected some women, and then other women they wanted. She sighed and emptied the suitcase before pushing it back into the closet. The fact that she fell into the former category was a good sign, she supposed. It meant she wouldn’t have to hunt for another job right before Christmas. That would be so disheartening.

  Carl obviously had not respected her or he wouldn’t have punched such serious holes in their relationship. A little respect between her and Dustin was probably the best she could have hoped for anyway.

  It was better than him seeing her as a convenient bed warmer.

  Or was it? She had been too mortified to tell him that she and Carl had never once shared a bed; His opinion on lovemaking was that a couple only entered the marriage bed once they had paid their dues at the altar. She let out her breath in a disdainful puff of air. Oh, she wasn’t pregnant—and fortunate that was, because it would have been such a disaster.

  The truth was, this time, she definitely might consider becoming the object of a man’s desire. If that man was Dustin.

  However, as with Carl, that seemed unlikely. Dustin had too much on his mind, had too many winds from the past buffeting him for him to be recklessly nursing a passion for his housekeeper.

  She sighed, knowing in her heart it was for the best, but wishing things could be different all the same.

  Dustin returned with the fried chicken and trimmings and set it on the kitchen counter. No one had come downstairs, so he shrugged out of his jacket and hung it in the hall closet. Maybe confession made a man hungry because since he’d told Jill how he felt, he had been starving. If the rest of the crew didn’t get downstairs soon to get their dinner, he’d eat the entire bucket.

  He went to the stairway to shout that dinner was ready. Jill was halfway down, and the hesitant look in her eyes made him swallow his shout. “Dinner’s ready,” he said gruffly.

  “I’ll set out some paper plates and napkins.”

  She followed him into the kitchen, but as he turned to ask her if any of the food should be put on the table, he found her back turned to him. Studiously not looking at him, she said, “I don’t think I’ll put out paper plates and napkins, after all. It will feel more festive if we use the checkered napkins and dinner plates.”

  The woman was avoiding him. He didn’t like it, but maybe once they both sat down to eat, matters would get better. Dustin decided it would be best if he acted helpful by putting out tea glasses and the pitcher.

  “Is Mother coming down?” he asked.

  “I’ll check on her again in a little while. When I heard your truck pull in, I looked in her room and she and Holly were both napping. Joey’s washing his hands so he’ll be down in a second.”

  She fixed a plate for her and one with smaller portions for Joey. The thought of eating with his taciturn housekeeper was starting to kill Dustin’s appetite. It bothered him greatly that the tension between them had increased over the last few hours. Although he knew that kiss in front of the fireplace could never be repeated, he was hoping for some kind of happy medium.

  Still, they had some time now. Perhaps it would stay quiet for a few days around the ranch and give them a chance to let the harsh words and hurt feelings subside a bit. He sat across from the place Jill had taken. She smiled at him, although it wasn’t her typical bright, dazzling smile.

  He missed that smile.

  “Jill…” he began, but the ringing of the phone cut him off. Getting up, he snatched the phone receiver from off the wall. “Yeah?”

  “Dustin, I got your message. What’s up?”

  Since it was only him and Jill in the room, Dustin swiftly relayed the contents of the note. There was a long pause at the other end of the line before Marsh spoke again.

  “That little scrap of paper on my car said all that? Hell, I must be losing it. I hate to think I might have missed that warning. Sadie was obviously worried enough to risk leaving that note. Makes me think Lynch could be much closer than I thought he was.”

  “Me too.” Dustin could hardly bear to think about it.

  “Look, I’m going to send an extra cruiser by tonight, just to be cautious. I expect you all to stay in tonight, all right?”

  “Yeah. With the roads turning bad and then that fun little message, we opted to stay in and eat fried chicken.”

  “Excellent idea. Dustin, I’m sorry as hell about this.”

  “Don’t be. I had started to go inside before some sixth sense told me I should go back and pick up the paper.”

  “Yeah, but it kinda scares me that my sixth sense isn’t working.”

  “Just find that Lynch guy and we’ll forgive you for not being perfect.”

  Marsh sighed. “Hell, I wish I could. No one in the town claims to have seen him. Jill’s description doesn’t seem to match anyone they know. I’ll check the school records office, but I’m betting he didn’t go to school here.”

  “All we need is some outside gang of punks moving in to cause trouble in Lassiter,” Dustin said. “I’m going to have my shotgun loaded for bear, though, just in case.”

  “Check the window and door locks. And, Dustin, if you get th
e slightest bit worried, or Jill does, have the dispatcher contact me immediately. I’ll be out there on the double.”

  “I know you will. Thanks, Marsh.”

  Hanging up the phone, it was all Dustin could do to meet Jill’s gaze. Joey skidded into the kitchen, stopping when he saw his father.

  “Hi, Daddy.”

  Dustin blinked, wondering if the child had always been so reserved with him or if he was just now noticing it. He wasn’t an overly affectionate man, but right now, he felt like pulling his son up to him and hugging him tightly. Jill was watching him with a curious look in her eyes. He reached down slowly and ruffled the hair on his son’s head.

  “Hi, son,” he said.

  Joey jumped onto the plank bench and dug into a dinner roll. Dustin sat next to his son, glancing up to find Jill smiling at him, that big gorgeous smile of hers that he loved.

  “I’m learning,” he told her.

  “Yes, you are.”

  He didn’t want to think about how good her praise felt. Instead, he said, “Well, what should we do this evening since we’re basically housebound?”

  Jill’s delicate brows arched inquiringly.

  “If not for Holly’s sake, then the weather would have us shut in.” Dustin tucked into a big helping of mashed potatoes.

  “Was Marsh concerned?” Jill asked with a protective look Joey’s way.

  He knew she was trying not to voice too much in case of upsetting his son. Dustin slid a careful look at Joey before nodding. “He’s going to have extra patrols tonight.” He cleared his throat, wishing he could say more to soothe her but Joey’s presence made it difficult. “We should just be on our guard.”

  Joey glanced up, looking back and forth between the two of them.

  “So,” Jill said, her voice too bright, “perhaps tonight is the night we string popcorn, then, and have hot chocolate in front of the fireplace. We could even practice our Christmas carols.”

  She was determined to keep herself and the rest of the household busy, Dustin realized. He had accounts he could review; in fact, time spent in his office would be beneficial. But he always had put the ranch first. Tonight, when his mind was so tangled with worry, and his family—Jill, too—would try to hide their fear, maybe he’d be better off making popcorn balls. Or whatever it was Jill had suggested to keep their minds off the cold winter storm outside already sending its cold, drafty fingers into the house.

  “Sounds like a plan to me,” he said.

  “Yeah!” Joey agreed. “You…you help me, Daddy?”

  Dustin paused, his fork halfway to his mouth. Slowly, he put the utensil down, turning to Joey. “Yes, son. We’ll do everything together tonight.”

  “Oh, boy!”

  The light in his son’s eyes caused Dustin’s heart to squeeze tight. How could he have missed doing the things with him that made happiness beam from his face like radiant starlight? How had he allowed his own frozen soul to ignore his child’s needs?

  His gaze traveled to his housekeeper, who sat watching him with neither praise nor condemnation in her eyes. If not for Jill’s steady, patient encouragement, he might not have realized what he was doing to Joey—what he was doing to both of them by allowing his fear of losing him to take over.

  He had more to be grateful for this Christmas season than he’d realized.

  Picking his fork up again, Dustin trained his gaze on his plate. He told himself that he was getting sentimental on a night when he needed to be clearly alert to danger. There was no time for him to get all mushy when there might be someone out there waiting for his attention to wander. As it did whenever Jill was around.

  He was about to put a bite of chicken into his mouth when Holly’s sudden piercing wail, markedly different from her usual call for dinner, bolted him from his seat and up the stairs.

  Curtis Lynch stared into the old, peeling mirror in the gas station restroom. Pulling off the cowboy hat he was wearing, he inspected his image. Without his black jacket and gold earring, and sporting this ridiculous flannel shirt and felt hat, he passed for any other shitkicker in town. He looked like a good ol’ boy, just like that big, dumb rancher who was hiding Holly. Thought he was hiding Holly. As if anyone stupid enough to spend his life cleaning up after cows and horses could outsmart Curtis Lynch.

  Oh, he didn’t have a college education. But he’d spent his life growing up on the streets, and learned a hell of a lot more there than he ever did in some wise-ass classroom. Hadn’t he told Sadie that? A hollow laugh rolled out of him. Guess he’d taught her more about life than she’d ever have learned without him. He’d scared her so badly she wouldn’t cause him any trouble now. Her mama and her had hotfooted it out of town, and right smart of them that had been. It would have been a shame to have to slap that old woman around—though he couldn’t deny he would have enjoyed it. But it had all worked out for the best, as usual. Their absence gave him a plenty-nice place to hole up in until he’d accomplished his mission.

  Night was falling, the air becoming thick with snowflakes. That would be bad for visibility, which was very good for him. Putting the cowboy hat back on, Curtis lit a cigarette, craving the nicotine in his system. Leaving the gas station, he headed across the street. The only western shop in town was still open, despite the threatening weather. Another hit of luck for him because he needed one last piece to his costume. One of those heavy winter coats the farmers were always wearing would keep him warm until the right moment to snatch the brat.

  Glancing in the shop window, Curtis eyed the lady with big hair and sloppy clothes working the counter. Some dumb cow-chaser’s even dumber wife. He could steal a coat and be gone without her ever knowing he’d been in the store.

  “Eunice!” Jill cried, hurrying into the room behind Dustin. “Are you all right?”

  The elderly woman sat up in her bed, rubbing at her eyes as if she was trying hard to awaken. Holly had quieted momentarily when Jill and Dustin had raced into the bedroom, but now she set up another wrenching series of wails.

  “My goodness!” Eunice said, moving her legs off the bed. “Did I miss Holly’s wake-up call?”

  Jill carefully picked up the baby, patting her on the back soothingly. “Maybe she never gave her usual warning cry.” She shot a worried look at Dustin. Was his mother all right, or did he see the same lines of tiredness around Eunice’s eyes that Jill saw?

  “The baby might have been napping so hard she didn’t realize how hungry she was until she woke up. It sounded like she went from zero to sixty in about three seconds,” Dustin said, his tone crisp yet comforting. As if nothing worrisome had happened. Jill realized that both she and Dustin were on edge or they wouldn’t have done those Olympic-style sprints up the stairs.

  “She certainly did.” Eunice rubbed her forehead with a blue-lined hand. “Or I was sleeping extra-hard myself.”

  “I don’t doubt you needed a rest,” Jill told her. “But I agree with Dustin. I’m going to take her downstairs for a bottle. Eunice, if you’re hungry, Dustin brought fried chicken for supper. I can bring some up if you like.”

  Eunice shook her head. “I’ll be down soon. Thank you, Jill.”

  Jill nodded, hurrying down the stairs. The baby was throwing every fiber of her little body into her wailing, and tense as Jill had already been, the crying was tearing at her nerves. Swiftly, she fixed the bottle and sat down on the plank seat, popping the bottle into Holly’s mouth.

  “Ah. Much better.” Looking up with a sigh, Jill straightened when she realized Joey was no longer sitting at the table.

  “Joey? Joey?” she called. She stood with the baby in her arms when she didn’t receive an answer. Telling herself she was worrying too much, she went to the parlor, thinking he might have gone to see the Christmas tree since he knew they were going to string popcorn tonight.

  He wasn’t in there either. Jill hurried to the staircase. “Dustin, is Joey up there?”

  Instantly, the rancher poked his head out into the hall. “No. You
mean he’s not down there?”

  “I can’t find him.” Even though she didn’t think Joey was at risk, the bizarre note and easygoing Marsh’s sudden warning to stay in the house had made her jumpy. “I thought maybe he slipped into Eunice’s room.”

  Dustin crossed the hall and pushed Joey’s bedroom door open. “Son, what are you doing?” Jill heard him say.

  Her knees felt weak with relief. Clutching Holly tight, she went into the parlor and sat down. She heard boots on the stairs but didn’t look up, assuming father and son would go into the kitchen.

  Instead they entered the parlor. “Joey thought Holly might like to hold his favorite bear since she was crying so hard,” Dustin said. Joey held out the stuffed animal, which Jill took with a shaky smile.

  “Thank you, Joey. See, Holly? You have a bear to keep you company now, too.”

  “She…she need him,” Joey said, pointing to the bear. “He be her friend.”

  “That’s very sweet of you, Joey.”

  “Come on, son. Let’s go finish dinner.” Dustin took his son by the arm, gently, and steered him into the kitchen. Jill followed, settling in her original place.

  Dustin sat, pulling open a roll to butter it.

  “Did you tell her about the note?”

  Dustin shook his head. “She’s so worn out and worried that I hate to say anything that will make her feel worse. I think Maxine’s accusation is really leveling her. Now that she’s given us a peek at the kind of cards she intends to play, Mother is trying not to get too worked up about it.”

  “And probably worrying about it more, instead.”

  “I think so.” Dustin sighed. “What a Christmas.”

  “Well, we’ll manage somehow.” Jill got to her feet. “I’m going to get Holly’s basket so I can keep her down here while I clean up the dinner dishes.”

  She headed up the stairs. Peeking into Eunice’s room, she saw her resting comfortably again. Slipping in, she moved Holly to her shoulder and snagged the basket with her free hand. Quietly, she closed the door and went back down the stairs and into the parlor, wanting to light the fire so the room would get warm in time for popcorn stringing.