by Abby Weeks
And this place, this forest, was her home, her territory.
She reached out with her mind and could feel the thoughts of the four brothers, even if they weren’t aware of her. She realized this was something she could do as a female, read them without them knowing she was there. When they communicated with her, they did it openly. She could do it secretly.
They were a mess of lusts and desires. Each in his own unique way was craving her body and trying to deal with it in the best way he knew how.
Tucker, the youngest, was running along the bank of a stream, going so fast he could hardly think straight. He was covering miles and miles and was far distant from the cabin, deep in the territory of neighboring wolf packs. She could tell all of this just by directing her thoughts to him. The cold air was flying around him as he pounded along the bank. It was unwise for him to be so far into enemy territory, but in his state he did not care. It would also take a very bold alpha wolf to challenge him when he was in such a frenzy of sexual desire. He’d kill any attacker with a single, swift motion of his jaws.
Hardy was far to the west, high up in the upper reaches of the Granite Mountains overlooking the valley. He was on a jagged clifftop, looking down over the valley and everything in it. He had the sensibilities of a passionate lover, Aisha could feel it. If he’d been a human, he might have been writing her a poem. As it was, the valley was his poem and he looked down on it, completely motionless, gazing at the horizon as if it might provide him with some answer to his yearning.
When she shifted her thoughts to Packer, she was suddenly struck with a raging emotion of pure violence. Packer was fighting the wolves. He was surrounded by their corpses. Their blood stained his teeth, the taste of it fresh on his tongue. Another wolf leapt at him—he caught it in his powerful jaw and violently jerked his head left and right, breaking the spine of the attacker. Then he dropped it to the ground and howled. Aisha was shocked when she realized what she’d just seen. She had to hold on to the rail of the porch for support. Packer had so much aggression, so much rage, she never would have guessed it.
And then there was Logan. He was close to the town, sniffing the air, looking for someone. He rounded the fence, careful to stay out of view of the guard tower. He was definitely looking for someone. Who was he looking for? And then Aisha saw Ma Hetty sitting on a log in a clearing, as if she was waiting for him.
Logan shifted into his human form and approached Ma Hetty, completely naked. Aisha saw Ma Hetty through his eyes. The woman appraised him openly, not at all embarrassed by Logan’s naked body.
“Ma Hetty,” Logan said to her.
He walked up to her and kissed her on the forehead.
“I was wondering how long it would be before you came to talk to me,” Ma Hetty said to him.
He sighed. “What’s going on?” he said. “What’s happening? I thought all our females were dead. I thought you and me and my brothers were the last of our kind.”
“So did I,” Ma Hetty said.
“I thought we’d never have a chance to mate with anyone.”
Ma Hetty nodded. “Life sometimes gives surprises,” she said. “Our job is not to see them coming, but to seize them when they do come.”
“And how?” Logan said. “How are we to seize this? None of us have the first clue about mating rituals. We never thought it would apply to us. We never prepared for it.”
“I know,” Ma Hetty said. “I know you didn’t see this coming. Neither did I.”
“I thought we’d be killing wolves and living lives of loneliness till the end of our days.”
Ma Hetty smiled at him. “Thank the moon, thank the gods, thank the earth itself for the gift you have been given.”
“The gift?”
“Aisha. She’s a gift.”
Logan nodded. “I know that,” he said.
There was so much emotion in his voice that it surprised Aisha. She’d never imagined someone as powerful as Logan feeling anything so intensely.
“We’ll have to perform the mating ritual,” Logan said.
“Yes you will.”
“But we don’t know how.”
“Don’t worry about that. The ritual is the responsibility of the handmaiden.”
“But how will she know? She didn’t even know she was a handmaiden till now.”
“She’ll know,” Ma Hetty said, and then Aisha watched as Ma Hetty looked up toward the moon.
Suddenly, Aisha realized that Ma Hetty could sense her presence. Ma Hetty knew that Aisha was listening in on Logan’s thoughts. As a seer, Ma Hetty hadn’t lost any of her abilities. She could do everything that Aisha could do, and she could do them with more power and insight than Aisha could even imagine. Ma Hetty spoke mentally directly to Aisha.
“You’re going to need me, child,” was what Ma Hetty said, then she broke the connection.
*
Chapter 33
THE EMOTIONS OF THE BROTHERS flooded Aisha’s senses that night. She couldn’t bear it. They couldn’t bear it either. They were in knots of frustration and overwhelming desire for her. It was clouding their judgment. At one point she tasted blood in her mouth and realized it wasn’t the blood of wolves, it was the blood of shifters. It was the brothers. They were fighting. Somewhere out in the forest they were battling each other, fighting with such violence and aggression that it shocked her. She’d never known brothers could want to kill each other like that. These were brothers who loved each other. They’d grown up caring for and protecting each other in ways that few brothers ever knew. Everything they did was for each other. They hunted for each other, protected each other, and loved each other. And now they were fighting so violently that someone might die. And it was over her. It was her fault. They were fighting because of the emotions and desires that she’d unleashed within them.
At the center of the fight was Packer. He was fighting the other three. Aisha hadn’t been connected to them when the fight started. She didn’t know who’d made the first move. But she knew what was happening now. Packer was attacking his brothers. He’d jumped Logan. He was telling Logan that he had the greatest right to mate with Aisha because he’d been the one to see her first. Logan wasn’t accepting it. He said it was up to the handmaiden to decide which of them she wanted. Packer bit Logan on the neck, and Hardy and Tucker had jumped Packer and pulled him off his older brother. It was a horrible scene. Aisha was in tears as she watched, telepathically, the violent scene unfold.
“Stop it,” she cried, “stop it.” The brothers heard her in their minds, and they howled at the sky in agony as they pined for her.
She had to do something. They were going to kill each other if she let this situation go on much longer. She’d unsettled their lives. They’d thought they were alone. Now there was a female. And while there were many things in the world that these four brothers had been happy to share, she wondered if the chance to mate with a female pushed the limit of that instinct. How could four males share a female? It wasn’t possible.
*
Chapter 34
AISHA HAD TO SIT DOWN to clear her head. She was in tears knowing the brothers were fighting over her. She understood it. Of course she understood it. It was a terrible situation and they couldn’t bear it. But there was nothing she could do about it.
She grasped for ideas for how to deal with the situation, and she knew that the only person who could help her with this predicament was Ma Hetty. She’d never felt anything as intensely as she’d felt the mental connection that Ma Hetty had formed with her. It had been like merging her mind completely with that of the older woman. Ma Hetty had occupied Aisha’s mind so completely. Aisha knew instinctually that Ma Hetty had read every thought Aisha had. There was no room for secrets, no room for concealing anything. If there was a thought in Aisha’s head, Ma Hetty had read it. And she knew too that with time and effort, Aisha’s own shifter instincts would one day allow her to do what Ma Hetty could do. She would one day have the same abilities, the same powers, tha
t the older woman exhibited.
I need to speak to her, Aisha thought to herself. She knew it with absolute certainty. She needed to speak to Ma Hetty. There was no way she could figure out what was required of her without the seer’s guidance.
The night was cold and dark, and if it wasn’t for the light of the full moon, Aisha wouldn’t have been able to see anything at all. She didn’t want to venture out into the forest, not in the dark, not alone, but she couldn’t wait any longer. She couldn’t hold back. The four brothers were out there, roving the wilds, completely overcome with frustration and angst, and it was her fault. They wanted her. They needed her. They craved her body. And she was causing them pain. She knew it.
She looked out at the darkness of the forest that surrounded her. She refused to reach out mentally to the brothers. She was aware of how to do it. She could reach out and watch them in secret, or she could make herself known to them and talk to them, but this was something she wanted to do by herself. It was something she was going to do for them. They’d done so much for her already—they’d rescued her from the village and brought her to this safe place, and they’d asked nothing from her in return. It was time for her to offer them something in return.
She also knew she could reach out to Ma Hetty at any time. Her link with Ma Hetty was different from what she had with the brothers. She couldn’t hide from Ma Hetty. Everything she thought and did was an open book to the seer. The link was more intimate, and more intense. Aisha had never felt anything like it in her life. Having grown up without a mother, she’d always craved something, and now she was beginning to realize what that had been. She was beginning to realize what the link between a mother and young child must feel like. It made her want to cry.
*
Chapter 35
AISHA DIDN’T WASTE A SINGLE MOMENT. She wrapped herself in the warmest fur garments the brothers had given her and left the house long before dawn. She could still sense the distant presence of the brothers high up in the mountains.
She reached out to Ma Hetty and somehow knew exactly in which direction she had to head to reach the village. She tried to listen to her shifter instincts, and it made the forest more manageable for her. Before, she’d have laughed out loud if anyone had told her she’d be making her way through an Alaskan forest at night, alone. Now, it felt almost natural. She felt agile and capable as she ran between the trees, ducking branches that a normal person wouldn’t even have been able to see. She never felt cold. She was immune to it now. She wasn’t scared either. She knew exactly what was in the forest around her. The small mammals in the undergrowth, the deer in the valley, the bats in the trees, all of them were known to her. She knew there were no wolves within many miles. Even though she was alone in the forest, she was so aware of her surroundings that she felt almost completely safe. It was an incredible feeling.
*
Chapter 36
SHE SMELLED THE SMOKE OF the village long before she could make out the lights above the trees. She was surprised at how pungent the village smelled now. She’d spent just a few short days with the brothers, and already she was feeling as if the human village was a foreign place to her. She could tell the difference between the scent of a shifter and the scent of the humans now. The humans smelled sweeter, but there was a sickliness to the sweetness. The rawer, shifter scent was more wholesome to her, more healthy. Mixed in with the human scent was the smell of gasoline and smoke, burning rubber and wood, and something completely new to her, the scent of dog.
None of it smelled bad to her exactly, but it was foreign, like the smells of another country to a traveler, and it surprised her. It took her off guard. She hadn’t yet fully accepted all that had happened to her over the past few weeks. She wasn’t used to thinking of herself as something different from normal people. Now, as she drew closer to the human village, she realized that nothing would ever be the same for her again. There would be no going back. She was a shifter, an animal, or a half animal, and humans were foreigners to her now.
She stopped when she reached the clearing that Logan and Ma Hetty had been at earlier. She knew Logan was no longer anywhere near the spot. She also knew that Ma Hetty would be waiting for her there. It wasn’t far from the wooden fence that surrounded the village, but there was no risk of any human spotting them there. She also knew that she’d have been able to smell any human who tried to creep up on them.
“Aisha,” Ma Hetty said, smiling at her as she came out of the clearing. “You’ve sure grown up since I saw you last.”
Aisha didn’t know what to say to that. It was true. A lot had changed. She was no longer the naive young girl who’d arrived at the village.
Aisha felt a strong and strange intimacy with Ma Hetty. There was an intense feeling of warmth and love that came from the woman, and the fact that they could merge their minds together, read each other’s thoughts—it meant that normal conversation wasn’t quite as necessary as it ordinarily was. They understood so much without having to say a word.
“Thank you for meeting me,” Aisha said.
“Come closer,” Ma Hetty said. “Come closer, child.”
Aisha walked up to the older woman and then, before she could even think about it, she found that she was embracing her in the most intimate of hugs.
“That’s it,” Ma Hetty said, affectionately rubbing Aisha’s head. “That’s it.”
Aisha tried to hold back her emotions, but she couldn’t help it. Tears were running down her cheeks and she held on to Ma Hetty tighter than she’d ever held anyone in her life. It was such a strange feeling for her. Having grown up an orphan, she hadn’t been prepared for the emotional intensity of this new feeling, this new feeling that she actually belonged.
Ma Hetty had known her mother. Maybe she was even related to her.
“Thank you,” was all Aisha could say as Ma Hetty held her affectionately and kissed her cheeks.
“You’re going to be just fine, child,” Ma Hetty said.
“Am I?” Aisha said, almost embarrassing herself at how needy she felt.
“Of course you are. You’re just overwhelmed.”
“I am overwhelmed,” Aisha cried. “I have no idea what’s going on. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t know what’s supposed to happen next.”
“It will come to you,” Ma Hetty said.
“How can you say that? How will it come to me? What will come to me? Can you feel the anguish that the four brothers are feeling right now? Can you feel their pain? I know you can.”
“Shh,” Ma Hetty said, stroking Aisha’s hair tenderly.
“I’ve tasted the blood in their mouths as they go out to fight wolves in enemy territory. I’ve heard the agony in their howling at the moon. I’m causing them pain.”
“You’re not causing them anything that isn’t completely natural, child. They’re born to feel this way. It’s in their blood. You’ve just given them a reason to feel it.”
Aisha listened carefully to Ma Hetty’s words, even if she didn’t understand them.
“How can you say they’re supposed to feel this way? Do you have any idea what it’s like to cause this much pain?”
“I wish I didn’t,” Ma Hetty said, almost sadly.
Aisha looked at her meaningfully.
“The brothers were happy before I got here. They were healthy. They were united. They lived as one unit, the way brothers are supposed to live.”
“They were shells, Aisha. They were only living a shadow of the full lives they were destined for.”
“What do you mean?”
“The reason the brothers never felt pain like this before was because they weren’t fully alive to their own instincts and emotions. They were dormant. Their mating instincts were dormant.”
“But don’t you see? That’s the problem,” Aisha said. “I can already see it all falling apart. What’s going to happen when I agree to mate with one of them? How are the others going to feel? How are they going to live with the fact
that I’m closer to one than to the others? It will tear them apart.”
“You’ll figure it out, child,” Ma Hetty said.
Aisha looked at the old woman, the deep lines in her face like crevices carved into solid stone. She looked at Ma Hetty as if she’d never seen her before, as if she was looking at her for the first time, and suddenly she realized something new about the older woman. The thought spilled into her mind, directly from Ma Hetty’s. Ma Hetty was smiling and nodding as Aisha felt the full meaning of the thought.
*
Chapter 37
“THAT’S WHY YOU BECAME A SEER, ISN’T IT?” Aisha said. “That why you never chose a mate.”
“Just make sure you don’t make the same mistake I made,” Ma Hetty said.
“You never took a mate at all, because you were afraid of the pain it would cause.”
“Times were very different when I was young,” Ma Hetty said. “There were other females. I wasn’t the last of my kind.”
“But you know what I’m going through, don’t you?”
Ma Hetty nodded sadly. “I’ll tell you my story, and I’ll let you make up your own mind as to the lesson to be learned.”
“Please do,” Aisha said. “I need to hear it.”
“It’s hard to imagine now,” Ma Hetty said with a quiet laugh, “but there was a time when I was as young as you are now. And I was just as beautiful. The males howled and rutted and grieved for me, just as they are for you now.”
“How many of them?” Aisha said.
“Many. But the strongest of all was a pair of brothers. The two of them were so smitten with me that they could think of nothing else, especially during the full moon, like we have tonight. They wanted to mate with me so badly that it consumed them. That’s always the way it’s been with our species, Aisha. There was nothing unusual or unhealthy in it, but to me it was the biggest thing in the world. I felt as if I was torturing the two brothers.”