Author’s Note
I decided to write a book that sheds light on suicide and what a tragedy it truly is, as it and mental health alike are a taboo subject in our society. I believe that people have a bad habit of showing interest in something-or someone-when it is too late. We have to have each other’s backs; we have to look out for each other and protect each other.
If you see that someone around you may be acting differently, please talk to them. Ask them if they’re alright, or if something is bothering them. Even just asking someone how their day has been could impact that person in some small way. Sometimes, all we might need is a friend to be there for us. So please, be that friend. If you think that someone might be acting differently, please be brave, and step up.
Talk to an adult that you trust; you can talk to your parents, your school principal, your favorite teacher, etc. If you think that it might be more serious, then please, trust your instincts, don’t ignore the signs. Whatever you do, look out for each other. We have to.
While writing You’re Not Worthless, I took a lot of thought into the plot of the novel. I didn’t want to romanticize suicide. In fact, I did everything I could to do the exact opposite. Suicide should never be romanticized, so when writing about suicide, I decided to create a main character who would be able to identify the idea that suicide is romanticized, however, it shouldn’t be. I felt like Kalani becoming a psychologist was very natural; she faced a real hardship in her life, and luckily, she received the help that she needed. I think that it was very fitting for Kalani to want to do the same for others.
Because suicide is so serious, I didn’t want to write a book with characters who refused to take a stand. Right towards the end, Ms. Jones decided to do as Kalani’s mother asked, and review the security camera footage. However, I didn’t want Ms. Jones to review the security camera footage just because Kalani attempted to commit suicide. I wanted Ms. Jones to do the right thing, so I wrote about Ms. Jones reviewing the footage just before the suicide attempt.
Kalani’s mother also took a stand at one point, after calling a meeting with Kalani’s school principal. Elena Young decided that the photo shopped pictures were crossing the line, so she took a stand for her daughter, when asking the principle to do something about the situation. Lucas was a very difficult character to create. I wanted him to be the friend that Kalani needed, and in a way, he was. But Lucas, despite fighting with Kalani over the gun, didn’t do enough.
Yes, he told an adult about Jazmine Davis pushing Kalani down the stairs, and yes, he was there for Kalani countless times-including every time she stayed in the hospital. But Lucas should have told an adult about the fact that Kalani was cutting herself far before her family found out. He should have told someone as soon as he found out about the cuts.
Lucas knew that Kalani was being bullied, both at school, and online. Lucas should have told every adult that he knew about the bullying, and he should have done it before the escalation of the situation. I created this type of character because every situation is different, and in some situations, you may not quite know what to do. Lucas is torn between obeying Kalani’s wishes, or betraying them. But after the escalation of the situation, Lucas decides that enough is enough, and he realizes that he should have said something a long time ago.
At some point in this story, every character steps up to help Kalani; Mia and Amelia are brutally honest after the suicide attempt, telling Kalani that she needs to talk about what’s going on. Of course, Kalani’s transformation is the most important. I wanted to create a character that took a stand; I didn’t want my main character to just become another victim to bullying, self-harming, and suicide. I wanted my main character to attempt to make a difference. Kalani becoming an ambassador and speech advocate for suicide awareness is very fitting.
She realizes that society needs to care more about the people around them, so that’s exactly what she becomes; she becomes the person who cares. The goal with this story, was to make sure that each character learned a lesson from dealing with depression, suicidal thoughts, attempts, and self-harming. Another goal was to make sure that the suicide attempt was not romanticized. Suicide should never be romanticized. Please remember, suicide is not a beautiful tragedy, or poetic in any way, shape or form.
Resources
Though this is entirely a work of fiction, the characters within these pages are living through real life experiences that a multitude of people face every second of every day. The resources below may be helpful to you, or someone you know. Please check on your friends/loved ones, you never know what someone may be going through. Trust your instincts, know the signs. You bringing the topic of suicide up is not planting the idea in anyone’s head. Remember to love each other, love yourself, be kind, and always know you’re not worthless.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
suicidepreventionlifeline.org
1-800-273-8255
PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center
pacer.org/bullying/resources
Society for Adolescent Health and Medicine
adolescenthealth.org
Mindfulness for Teens
mindfulnessforteens.com
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