by Alexa Davis
“Actually, you just had a stronger team of kids than me,” I said, playing along with the game. “I didn’t have a chance.”
As the kids ran off to lunch, we sat on the grass for a moment to catch our breaths. I enjoyed the ease of silence between us; it didn’t feel like we needed to fill every second with chatter. We had a comfort there that I hadn’t felt before. It was nice, and it made me miss having someone. It’d been so long and I’d been so busy that I hadn’t thought about it, but now I could see that there was something there that I needed.
“You know, your money is going to build a playground,” she eventually told me in a quiet, considered tone of voice. “They’re going to buy up that bit of land there to put in swings and a slide and stuff. It’ll be going to staff, too, and necessary equipment. I just think it’s cool that you’re buying the children something substantial. Something you can see and know you contributed.”
My emotions danced about in my stomach when she turned to grin at me. “It’s something I’d love to do if I could afford it.” She paused for a second, and I remained silent, too. There was more coming, I just knew it, and I wanted to know what.
“Kyle and I were foster kids.” Whoa, that was heavier than I expected. I didn’t know what to think about that. “We actually stayed here for a while, so I know exactly how much this will mean.”
“Only a while?” This was my chance to tell her that I’d grown up here, too, but for some reason the words never quite came.
“We were shipped about a lot,” she sighed. “I don’t know why. I guess because we wanted to stick together, maybe. Or maybe we were just in an awkward place in the system. It isn’t always great.” I knew that all too well, yet still, I didn’t say anything. “So, yeah.” She shrugged, her face heating up a bit. “I guess I just want to say that you’ve done an awesome thing.”
“Thank you.” I smiled brightly at her. “That’s always nice to hear.”
Why couldn’t I just say it? Why was I keeping it all inside? This was someone that I knew would understand, this was someone who’d been through it to, yet still I kept it in. I was acting far more like Michael than ever before, and I couldn’t seem to stop.
“Anyway, you’d better go.” Lila stood up and brushed herself down, drawing my attention to her legs, making my heart jump. “Mia wants you to eat some carrot concoction she’s making you.” She patted me on the arm in a friendly gesture, but it sent goosebumps racing up and down me. “So, good luck with that one.”
“Aren’t you staying?” I wasn’t ready for her to go just yet; we were having such an awesome time. “Don’t you want carrot... whatever it is?”
“God, no,” she chuckled loudly. “Plus, I’ve got an afternoon of song writing with Kyle planned. I can’t be late for that.”
I almost reached over to hug her, but managed to restrain myself at the last moment. We were supposed to be busy colleagues – she was about to potentially work for me – I couldn’t start getting all touchy feeling with her. Not while I was trying so desperately to keep the line clear. “Oh, well, that’s a shame. It’s been nice to hang out with you, anyway. The contract will be with you by Monday, so after that call me to arrange dinner.”
I wanted to ask her to come alone to dinner, not because I didn’t like Kyle, but just because I liked Lila so damn much.
“That sounds great, thank you.”
Happiness burned through me as I watched her walk away. She left me feeling amazing. In fact, I watched her for so long that I almost forgot we had met up for a reason. “Hey!” I called loudly after her, causing her to spin around and look at me once more. “Didn’t you have something you wanted to talk about?”
“Oh...” Her eyes went everywhere, almost as if she was looking to see if anyone was around. “Um, you know what? Never mind. We can talk about it next week.”
I didn’t want to let her go. I wanted to grab her to demand what she wanted to tell me, just because I was so damn curious. But I didn’t. If that was what she wanted, then I had to respect that. I would have to try and be patient, and just wait.
There was one thing for sure: she wasn’t going to be off my mind for one minute until we saw one another again.
Chapter 12 – Lila (Monday)
A stuffiness filled my lungs as I rolled over to wake up, one that immediately left me uncomfortable and ill at ease. I squeezed my eyes even tighter shut before I opened them, trying to work out what the issue was, why I felt so bad. It quickly became clear.
Silence. There was no music. Kyle wasn’t playing the piano for me to wake up to.
I practically fell out of bed and staggered into the living room, feeling like I was sleep deprived, despite the fact that I’d had a good eight hours of rest. I’d been feeling good ever since my day with Xander, despite the fact that I never got to discuss my personal fears about being thrust into the limelight. But now that was all gone, and my brother was the one to blame.
“What’s going on?” I groaned, the second I saw him. He was sitting there at his piano, just not playing it. He’d been playing all day every day ever since the fundraiser, so not having him do so affected me deeper than I’d expected it to. “Why is it so quiet around here?”
Still, he didn’t answer me. His eyes seemed to be so zoned in on whatever he was looking at that he hadn’t even realized I was there. Intrigued, I moved around to put my nose in his business.
“What are you doing?”
Finally, he noticed me, and judging by his pissed off expression, he wasn’t totally happy about my being there. “I’m trying to read, here.”
“What?” I insisted. “What can be so important that you’d totally ignore me like that?”
“The contract.”
Shit, of course. It was Monday, Xander had told me we’d have the contract, and he hadn’t been wrong! “But it’s too early, isn’t it?” I didn’t usually lie in bed that long, but it was possible.
“I guess it was biked over.” His expression was grave, not giving anything away. This was the most important moment ever – the best thing that could potentially ever happen to us. Why is he being so secretive? “Crazy, huh?”
“So?” I sat beside him on the piano bench, even though I knew he hated it. “What does it say? Should we be celebrating or looking for a new job?”
I was trying my best to keep my tone light, but he could probably hear my heart hammering in my chest, totally giving me away. I had so much riding on this, I was getting my hopes up and planning a future, and now I was about to discover whether it was going to happen. “Come on, is it good news?”
He tapped his fingers antagonizingly on his chin, sending a gnawing sensation bulldozing through my body. “Actually, I think it is good. I’m shocked, but I think this is actually good for us.”
“You do?” I gasped, gripping onto his arm in utter joy. “You do?”
“I mean, I didn’t see Xander as the sort of pushy guy who’d undercut his acts, but you never know, do you? He had to get rich somehow.”
“So, what are you saying?” I couldn’t truly celebrate, not until I knew one hundred percent for sure. I was on edge, freaking out. “Are you saying this is something we should go for?”
“I don’t want to say that we definitely should – we need to have a meeting with Xander first – but on paper, it all looks good.”
Oh, my God, oh, my God. It took all that I had not to leap off my seat in excitement. “Well, we have the dinner to set up, don’t we? Can’t we talk about it then?”
Kyle didn’t look happy about that. In fact, his face was twisting up in knots. Was he pulling out of this now, even though things looked so good? Was it all too much for him? Could he not see that all the potential in this overshadowed all the bad stuff? I was scared, too, but I was more than willing to move past that.
“Actually, do you think you could do dinner on your own?” he asked sheepishly. “I don’t like big fancy places.”
“It might not be fancy.” This was
his insecurities raging – the thought that he wasn’t good enough for good things. I wanted to jump in and convince him otherwise, but I had a lot of it, too. I just wasn’t thinking about it while going through all of this.
“It will be, and honestly, you’re much better at the talking stuff than I am.”
“But you know the contract details.” Now I was scared. He had me utterly freaked out, and I wasn’t sure if I could do it, after all. “You’re much better at that sort of thing than me.”
“Look, if I just coach you on this, if I give you all the questions to ask, then you’ll be okay, won’t you?” I shot him a look, totally unconvinced that could work. “Okay, well, why don’t you just do dinner and set up an official meeting afterward?”
“Okay,” I gasped, nodding slowly. “Okay, yeah, I can do this.”
I wasn’t convinced, not for a second, but I knew it was the only way forward. If Kyle was set on not going to dinner, then I didn’t think there was much hope of me convincing him otherwise. And even if I did get him to tag along, his discomfort would be so obvious there wouldn’t be any getting past it. Plus, I’d just spent most of the day with Xander on Saturday and it hadn’t been difficult. Okay, so that was in a volunteering setting, whereas this would be dangerously date-like, but I was an adult. I could handle this. Just because I was going out to eat with a handsome rich man didn’t mean I had to fall apart.
“Great.” Kyle looked so grateful that I kinda felt bad for even assuming that he’d want to come. “I appreciate it, sis. You’re such a star. I’m about to head out this morning to look up some new music. Did you want to come with me?”
Much as I did, I also had the phone call with Xander to deal with, and I felt like that was something best done alone. The apartment wasn’t often empty, and I had to take advantage of that.
“Actually, I don’t feel one hundred percent.” It wasn’t a total lie, I had woken up feeling crappy. I’d blamed it on the lack of music, but now that I thought about it, it could possibly be more than that. I let out a fake cough to highlight my point, but somehow that ended up turning into a real one. “I might just stay here.”
“Okay. I hope you aren’t getting sick.” Kyle gave me a concerned look as he stood up. “This would be the worst time to get the flu. Get some rest, and try to be better soon, okay?”
As he left, I coughed a little more, having started something. I hoped that I hadn’t wished a cold on myself by lying about being sick.
No, that isn’t possible. I shook that thought from my mind and grabbed hold of my cell phone and looked at Xander’s number. All I needed to do was call him and thank him for the contract. I had to mention dinner and get the ball rolling.
But what if he was mad that I was the only one coming? What if he wanted Kyle to be there? It was obvious that he was the one who knew what he was doing and that I’d only just dipped into the music world.
But if I allowed myself to forget all about that and focused on how awesome Xander was to hang around with on Saturday instead, it didn’t seem so difficult. I might have felt a little intimidated to start with, but he had quickly put me at ease. It wasn’t long before I felt totally relaxed. I even forgot that he was about to be my boss; it just didn’t factor into my consideration. He was friendly, sweet, and a whole lot of fun.
Okay... I took in a few deep breaths of air, convincing myself that I could do it. Then, I called him.
My heart raced as the phone rang, but there was a smile playing on my lips, too. I was looking forward to this. It could be a whole lot of fun.
“Hello?” I could hear all the noise from the studio, which made me feel terrible. I should’ve known that he’d be at work. I probably should have just waited until later. “Everything okay, Lila?”
As he spoke my name, my insides flip flopped. He had my number stored now, that had to be a good sign. It meant that I was on the way up.
“Oh, hi. Yeah, everything’s fine.” I was falling apart, stammering like an idiot. “I just wanted to let you know that the contract arrived okay.” Oh, God, what am I saying? He knows that!
“Everything look good? Has Kyle had a chance to read it?” The warmth in his tone made me even happier. Something about him cut me right down to my core.
“Yeah, all looks good. Thank you.” My mind was blank. Why can’t I think of any of the things I want to say? “I just wanted to speak to you about dinner.”
“Oh, yes, of course; would you be willing to go tomorrow night?”
Oh God, this is all happening too quickly. I felt like it was spinning out of control. “Yes, but Kyle...” Suddenly, a spark of inspiration hit. “Kyle has an appointment then, but I can come?”
Please don’t reschedule! I closed my eyes and prayed. This could all work out fine as long as Kyle just agreed to continue with the plan as I needed it to be. Please, just say yes!
“That’s fine. In fact, to celebrate, I’m going to send you over a nice dress. I’ll make a reservation now.” As he went over the plans, something shifted deep inside me. I felt odd. This was way more than I’d expected, and I didn’t know how to handle it.
Was this normal? Was this standard for a record deal? Did guys always do this to woo the women they wanted on their record labels? Or was there something more here?
I didn’t want to read into things that weren’t there, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. My brain was taking charge of the situation, thinking things that I probably shouldn’t.
“Okay, that sounds nice.” I tried to keep my cool, but there was a definite edge to my voice.
As I eventually hung up the phone, my head was spinning. I wanted to get online to research whether this was the sort of thing that normally happened so I knew where I stood, but I didn’t. I didn’t quite want to ruin the magic of the image in my mind.
I could see Xander and I having the most amazing time ever, getting to know one another, enjoying each other’s company. Of course, I’d have to do my best to keep my mind on business; that was what we were there to discuss, of course. But somehow, in my mind, I looked glamorous, more beautiful than ever before, and Xander was falling in love with me...
Luckily, my fantasy was interrupted by another round of coughing. I might not even make it if I got too sick. Then none of this would be an issue. I wouldn’t even have to worry about overstepping any boundaries – I’d be in bed, instead.
Chapter 13 – Xander (Tuesday)
Excitement buzzed through me as I got ready for my date with Lila. No, not date, dinner. Business dinner.
I needed to keep reminding myself of that if I was going to get through it with my dignity intact. As I finished doing up my tie and examined my professional appearance in the mirror, I realized that while I looked the part, I didn’t totally feel it.
For one thing, I probably should’ve invited Michael along. But as soon as Lila had mentioned that her brother couldn’t make it, I decided to keep the dinner a secret. I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to spend time alone with her, however hard I tried. I knew that nothing could ever happen, but still I wanted to get to know her better.
Plus, I still felt like we had some unfinished business from Saturday, and I wanted to know more.
As my driver honked outside, I checked my watch and smiled. When I spoke to Lila on the phone yesterday, I suggested the earliest time possible, but it still felt like I’d been waiting forever. It was time to go, and I couldn’t wait.
I knew Lila’s address. I’d had one of my employees bike over the contract to her, after all. But I didn’t realize what a bad neighborhood she lived in until the car started to weave in and out of some very sketchy-looking lanes. The driver even locked the door as we got to what could only be described as a terribly deprived area. Of course, I knew she and Kyle didn’t have a lot of money, but this was bad.
They had come out of foster care and into poverty. If I hadn’t gotten an inheritance, that could’ve been me. The reality check hit me hard in the face.
But then all that vanished as the car pulled up outside her apartment, and I saw her standing in the doorway in the gorgeous, long red dress I’d sent over to her.
I knew it was risky to make such a bold move, one that made the entire evening feel like a date, but as I saw her, I knew I’d done the right thing. She looked incredible, absolutely wonderful, and also like she’d fit right in with the restaurant I’d picked for us. Maybe it was an oversight to go for such a fancy Italian place, but when I’d booked the table, I’d been thinking only about impressing her.
Lila didn’t belong on the sidewalk in that dress. She should’ve been on the pages of a fashion magazine.
“Hey.” I leaned out of the window with a big, beaming smile on my face. “You look wonderful.” She smiled awkwardly, unsure of how to take my compliment, so I instantly changed tactics. “Come on, get in.”
She swayed in a way that was probably more seductive than she intended and slid into the seat next to me. As the driver took off, I kept glancing at her out of the corner of my eye, unable to drag my gaze away. She honestly looked stunning: natural and made up all at once, much prettier than anyone I’d ever spent time with before. And the best part was she didn’t even know it.
This was going to be harder than I’d first thought.
“So, where are we going tonight?” Lila asked me with a wobble in her voice. “I mean, I’m very dressed up – thank you for that by the way.”
“Oh, it’s fine; you look lovely.” We were being awkward around each other, as neither of us knew exactly what to do. “Nice.”
“I’ll make sure to send it back to you after I’ve had it cleaned.”
“No, don’t do that!” I insisted. “I got it for you. I want you to keep it.” It would probably be the most expensive thing she owned, and in a weird way, I kinda liked that. It meant she’d think of me every time she looked at it, which she’d probably do quite often.
Before we could get into any kind of debate about that, the driver stopped the car and let us out at the restaurant. Lila gasped as she slid out onto the street and looked up at where we were about to eat, but I tried not to get too worked up about that. She’d love it inside, wouldn’t she?