by Alexa Davis
Still, I didn’t want to give in. I didn’t want to crumble just yet. I didn’t usually cave to pressure, and I certainly wasn’t prepared for this to be the first time. I was down, struggling under the intensity of this situation, but just like I always did, I would dig down deep within myself and find some strength. How hard could it be?
I stood up, desperately searching for some determination. If writing wasn’t working for me right now, then I needed to hunt for inspiration instead. I had to find something to get the juices flowing, and considering I was desperate to see Xander anyway, this was the perfect excuse.
I grabbed my cell phone and hit dial before I could talk myself out of it. I needed to see him, to give me some ideas of what to write about. Since I had absolutely nothing yet, I couldn’t see any harm in spending time with my muse.
“Hello?” he answered sleepily. I glanced frantically at my clock, realizing that I must have woken him up.
“Oh, God, Xander, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize the time! I’ll call you back later.”
“No, no.” I could hear the smile in his tone. “No, I want to talk to you. What’s going on?”
“Would you like to hang out today?” I felt so embarrassed. What the hell was wrong with me? Why didn’t I think before I acted? “If you aren’t too busy?”
“Oh, well, I have a meeting today, but I would love to take you out for dinner later.” I adored the way that he seemed to want to spend time with me. I’d never been needed before, I’d never felt so desired, and I was absolutely addicted to that feeling. I found Xander absolutely intoxicating.
“That sounds amazing, thank you.” I glanced toward my wardrobe, wondering what I could wear if Xander took me out again. It might be somewhere just as fancy as that Italian place, and I needed to be dressed right. There was no way I could wear what he had sent me again, much as I was just looking for an excuse to wear it. It’d be humiliating to be seen in it by him again. “I would love that.”
“Okay, I’ll pick you up at eight.”
As we hung up the phone, I started to panic. I didn’t have anything suitable to wear, I just knew it. I didn’t have to get something as fancy as the red dress because there was no way in hell that I could afford it, but I would feel much better in something a little dressier than the crappy old stuff I already owned.
It was crazy, absolutely insane, but I wanted to go shopping again. I felt excited by the idea, rather than purely terrified by the prospect of spending some money. Now that we were out of the red and had some cash to spare, I wanted to treat myself. Maybe this was me losing sight of where I’d come from, maybe I was already teetering into diva territory, but I wanted to look good for Xander.
I was going to have to beg with my brother again. Kyle was going to hate me.
“Kyle?” I said cautiously as I stepped back into his bedroom, waking him up again. “You know that you’re the best brother in the whole entire world, right?”
“What do you want?” It didn’t take a genius to work out that I was after something. He narrowed his eyes, but luckily, I couldn’t see any genuine anger there.
“I want you to come out with me today. I know you hate it, but I’d love for you to come shopping?” I was asking a lot. I knew that he wouldn’t want to, but he was such an awesome brother that I had the feeling he’d do it anyway. He was just that good to me. “I have a date with Xander later, and... Well, you know how much I’ve been struggling with the new song.” I felt bad about using a guilt trip and blaming it on the writing, but hopefully, it would work.
“Ugh, do I have to?” he pleaded with me. “I mean, you know that I will, but... do I have to?”
I cocked my head and gave him puppy dog eyes. I needed him. I didn’t want to do this alone. “Please?”
“Fine, just give me a bit to get dressed and we’ll go.” He shifted his way out of bed, being amazing as always.
“I love you.” I kissed the top of his head. “You’re the best brother ever.”
***
I wasn’t lying when I told Kyle that he was amazing. He was. He stuck by me all day, without complaining for even a second. He sat with me in the nail salon, chatting happily with me. He waited outside the changing rooms while I tried on a million things. And, he didn’t mention money even once.
He was amazing. I knew what I had in him, I was acutely aware how lucky I was, and I wanted him to know it.
“You’re so awesome,” I told him happily as we got back to our apartment. “You have no idea how grateful I am. I couldn’t have found an outfit nearly as good without you.”
“Well, you better make the best of this date,” he insisted, with a mock severity. “I want this song to be the best damn thing that you’ve ever written.”
“Oh, it will be.” I was filled with positivity once more, convinced that I could write the best song ever. After all, I had amazing source material. Xander made me feel the kinds of things that I wanted to write about. I just needed to find a way to get the words in the right order. Once I got going, this would be easy. “Trust me, this is going to be the best song in the world.”
And lucky me, I got to have the best date in the world beforehand. I just hoped the outfit would be enough. It was only a swing skirt and an off the shoulder top, and it didn’t flatter my shape nearly as much as the designer dress did, but it would be good enough. I’d find a confidence in it somehow.
Nothing was going to get in the way of tonight.
Chapter 21 – Xander (Friday)
Just as I squirted the last spray of aftershave, my cell phone blasted out loudly. For one horrifying moment, I feared it was going to be Lila canceling at the last minute, so I found myself quite relieved to see Michael’s name on the screen.
“Everything all right?” It was very possible that I sounded distracted; after all, I was examining my reflection in the mirror as I spoke. My mind was only on the night that lay ahead... But then again, Lila had been pretty much all that I could think about from the very first moment that I’d met her.
“Yeah, I’ve just been looking over the numbers.” His harassed tone was enough to draw me back in. I didn’t like to get bad news, and this certainly didn’t feel like it was about to be a positive conversation. “I met with the accountant, as you know. And, well, things aren’t looking good.”
“What do you mean?” I chuckled awkwardly. This had to be wrong. We were doing all right. As far as I was aware, we’d been on an even keel for a very long time.
“I mean that if we don’t start getting some hit albums out soon, we’re going to have to make some cutbacks. And, I don’t just mean here and there – I’m talking big, serious cutbacks.”
Relief flooded through me. It was fine! He was simply freaking out and overreacting to something that wouldn’t be an issue for very long. But I didn’t want to keep the record company afloat with my billions from my first company. I had already invested enough and the company needed to start making money on it’s own. “Well, I wouldn’t worry too much about that. Lila and Kyle will be ready soon...”
“We can’t just rely on them,” he cut me off sharply. “I know that you think they’re gonna do well, and I agree with you there, but I’m warning you now that it won’t be enough.”
I couldn’t deal with his hissy fit right now. I had too much else to deal with. I felt utterly convinced that I could have this all sorted out in an instant, but I wasn’t prepared to sacrifice my time with Lila for that. It could wait for now; it didn’t need my attention on a Friday evening. Much as I always put the business first, this was one time where I needed to take a rain check.
“Okay,” I told Michael gravely. “I see what you’re saying, and I will definitely take a look at things when I’m in the studio.”
“You don’t want me to bring anything over to you now?” He sounded incredulous, which was maybe understandable. Under normal circumstances, I probably would.
“I have plans.”
Please don’t ask me what...
For the love of God, don’t ask me what...
“What are you doing?”
He’d warned me off Lila. I didn’t want to confess that I was seeing her, especially not when the conversation was already so tense, but I didn’t want to outright lie, either. “Oh, just out. So, I’ll see you soon, all right?” I hung up quickly, like the coward that I was. I just didn’t want to be thinking about work and possible cutbacks, not when I was about to go out with a woman who worked for me.
This was exactly why mixing business with pleasure was a terrible idea. But, it was far too late to be worrying about that now.
But the worry didn’t leave my mind on the drive over. I couldn’t think about anything else.
If the album created by Lila and Kyle wasn’t the instant success I assumed it would be, was it going to be a case of “last in, first out?” It was my company, I had the last say, but I always took the advice of others. I had business sense and my own idea about how I wanted to run things, but I wasn’t too proud to admit that I didn’t always get it right.
I just hoped this wasn’t another of those times.
As I thundered up the stairs and knocked on Lila’s apartment door, I did my best to keep my expression neutral. I didn’t want her to notice that things weren’t right. I didn’t need her to start asking questions. I had the horrible feeling I wouldn’t be able to keep it all inside.
“Wow.” Everything vanished the second she opened the door. “You look beautiful.”
She blushed and glanced down at the floor, clearly shy under my scrutinizing gaze, but I couldn’t stop myself from looking at her all the same. She was dressed far more casually than the last time I took her out, which was probably because I’d spent a ridiculous fortune on her last time, but she still looked just as good. Maybe even better because a lot of her personality was shining through.
“Thank you,” she replied quietly. “You don’t look so bad, yourself.”
I leaned across to see her brother hovering behind her, awkwardly, as if he didn’t quite know where to place himself. “Hi, Kyle, how’s it going?”
“Yeah, yeah, all right.” He was so shy, that was acutely obvious to me now. I had spotted it at first, which was why I wasn’t surprised to find him so quiet, but now that I knew him a little better, it was written right across his face. “How are you?”
“I’m good thanks, looking forward to working with you again.” A cold, acute point of guilt stabbed into my heart as I said those words. Even though I wasn’t being dishonest, I had no idea what was going to happen next, so it felt that way all the same. “Anyway, Lila, shall we go?”
She linked her arm in mine and grinned up at me with her eyes shining gleefully. I did my best to match her expression but knew it didn’t quite meet my eyes.
I was going to have to shake that off if I wanted us to have an amazing night.
By the time I pulled the car up outside the restaurant I’d chosen for the night, I felt a little better. Lila was so intoxicating and managed to draw every inch of my attention on her. If she was even slightly less fascinating, I might have had to call the whole thing off!
“Right, here we are...” My voice trailed off as I glanced at the Mexican place in front of me. It was another place I went to regularly, so I didn’t ever have to book a table, but tonight it appeared to be jammed. “Oh, no.” My heart sank when my eyes fell upon a sign that said the place was closed for a private party.
The whole night was ruined. I had no idea what we could do now.
“Oh, never mind.” Lila grinned brightly. “Maybe we could go somewhere else.” I felt like she could tell from my expression that I wasn’t totally comfortable with that idea. For some reason, I had my heart set on there, and I wasn’t sure that anything else could be the same. “Or maybe we could go back to your place. I could cook you something there.”
Ooh. I had to admit that idea sparked my interest. Having Lila totally to myself, without anyone else in the room was appealing. “Yeah, okay, I could go for that plan!” I nodded, a warm happiness filling me up again. “Let’s do it.”
As I flicked the engine back on, I felt good. Maybe we could turn this back around, after all!
***
“Wow, this place is incredible,” Lila gasped, leaning forward to get a better view of my home.
Most people assumed that I lived in a huge mansion, which wasn’t the case. I didn’t care about size. I just wanted a bit of privacy, which wasn’t easy to find in New York. However, I’d achieved it by purchasing a property just outside of the city centre. “You have such a lovely home!”
“Thank you.” I slid out of the seat and went around to her side to open her door. “Come on, let me show you inside.”
“Well, I hope your kitchen is well stocked if I’m going to cook for you.” She weaved her fingers through mine as she spoke, and I felt that buzzing electricity racing through me again. “It’s going to be fun to cook without knocking everything over with my elbows as I go.”
“Your apartment’s nice,” I told her, a little lamely, since that wasn’t strictly the case. “You’ve done well with it.”
She chuckled happily, not even bothering to dignify that comment with a response, and allowed me to show her inside. As we moved seamlessly through the rooms, she tickled me with her adorable comments. I wasn’t so set in my ways that I didn’t appreciate what I had, so I could see where she was coming from with her remarks.
As we reached my bedroom, I felt a weird sexual fission floating between us. There was an unspoken conversation between us, like we were both wondering where this night was headed. To be honest, if Lila hadn’t spoken out at that moment, I wasn’t sure what would’ve happened.
“Do you mind if I borrow something to wear?” She glanced quickly at me, redness heating up her cheeks. “It’s just that this outfit isn’t as comfortable as I thought it would be. Now that we aren’t out, it doesn’t make sense to torture myself anymore. You know?”
“Oh, of course.” I raced to my wardrobe and handed her the first thing I came across: a t-shirt and some sweatpants. They would be huge on her, but I felt like she’d probably look cute. “Here you go. I’ll leave you to it. Meet me in the kitchen. I’ll see what I can find for us to eat.”
My heart danced in my chest as I made my way back down the stairs. This had turned out so much better than I expected. I couldn’t worry about all that was going on with the studio when I had Lila here. She was all the distraction I could possibly need.
I whistled to myself as I grabbed a pizza from the freezer to throw into the oven. It wasn’t gourmet and there was no way that it’d taste anywhere near as good as what we could’ve had at the restaurant, but that hardly mattered anymore. As long as we had something to eat, that’d be enough.
“You’ve started cooking already?”
I spun on my heels, ready to defend my decision, but my words got totally stuck in my throat. She looked utterly breathtaking in only my t-shirt. She must have decided somewhere along the line that the pants weren’t for her, so her long, luscious legs were teasing me. All I wanted to do was grab them and run my mouth all over them.
To make things even more torturous for me, she wasn’t wearing a bra. I didn’t know if she’d had one on before or not, but now I could see her nipples poking out underneath the material, and there was a definite stirring in my underwear.
She looked absolutely edible, and I needed a taste.
Food was forgotten, the hot oven flew from my mind... All I wanted was her, so I stepped forward purposely to grab her in my arms and press my lips passionately against hers. I needed Lila. I absolutely had to have her right now, and nothing was going to stop me. I pressed her back against the wall, knotting my hands in her hair. Lila didn’t even try to resist. This was exactly what she wanted, too, which made everything so much hotter.
“You look...” I panted into her mouth, but I couldn’t quite express myself. I didn’t even know where to start looking for the words. She l
ooked like a fantasy I didn’t even know I had coming true.
Chapter 22 – Lila (Friday)
Xander’s lips tasted sweet and salty all at once. As his mouth consumed me entirely, I ran my fingers around his back, enjoying the sense of claiming him. I wasn’t totally sure what this thing was between us, and I didn’t want to ask, but I liked feeling that I had any kind of control over him. While we were kissing, while I was taking up every inch of his brain, it was nice to think of him as “mine.”
Eventually, he pulled back to press his forehead against mine, and the look in his eyes was intense. His piercing gaze looked as if he was about to devour me at any given moment, and damn it, I needed that. Xander brought out a side of me that I didn’t even know I had, and I loved it like crazy.
I became so lost in his eyes that I barely noticed his hand running down over my cheek, neck, breast, waist... until he hooked his fingers under my leg and hitched it upright until my foot was pressed up against the ice-cold wall. He nudged my legs open a little with his hip, and he moved in closer until his body was pressed right up against mine. I could feel all of him, every single inch, and I pulsated like crazy for him.
“Do you want to take this up to the bedroom?” he asked me with a slow, lilting tone to his voice. One that had me mesmerized. I shook my head no. There was no way I wanted to move from where we were. This, with his throbbing erection pressed up against me, felt absolutely perfect.
“No, we have to watch dinner,” I teased, but I was rapidly silenced by Xander and his incredible tongue, his teeth lightly nibbling on my lips. He was kissing me like it was his last moment on Earth, and I felt a little bit like that, too.
The whole world had shrunk down to me and him in this moment, and that was all we had.
His fingers trailed up my thigh, growing dangerously closer to where I needed him desperately. In a moment of bravery, when I was upstairs changing into only Xander’s t-shirt, I decided not to wear any underwear, either. Now he was about to discover that, and I wasn’t sure whether it had been my wisest plan.