by Alexa Davis
“In your home town. Where everyone knows you and your family, and probably your history, because there’s nothing people love more than to gossip about other people’s troubles, or their flaws.”
I promised her that I would be very careful and not brag about an infiltration that any self-respecting thirteen-year-old could do. Fortunately, just as she opened her mouth to tell me exactly what she thought, Danny and Rachel burst in the front door and she was distracted with more introductions.
Danny gave her a huge hug and invited us both, formally, to an enormous family dinner that Mom and her personal manager, Patricia, were planning as he and Rachel left that morning. She stared at me, wide-eyed, and I shrugged. Big family meant big family dinners. At least by the time she was sitting at the table she’d know almost everyone else there.
We took off in Rachel’s Escalade, which had been a birthday present from Danny, and I thought back to what George had said about money. If Danny had spent money like that for a vehicle, then Dad probably had started riding him about the family investments. Poor Danny. I was once again reminded why being the youngest was not such a bad position in the family. I wanted none of that responsibility.
“Nice wheels Rachel,” I commented, “What did that cost you in sanity with Dad?” I added with a chuckle.
Rachel groaned. “He’s still going on about it, even after I proved that my wages as the race vet for Texas Tango alone would have covered it.”
I choked back a laugh. “Aw, man, I’m sorry. It really is a great vehicle, and knowing the Hargraves, you’ll have it for many, many years to come.”
Danny sighed and nodded. “Dad’s getting on, Jackson. He’s taking things slower, and he’s forgetting more ever week, it seems. I know you’ve seen it.”
C.J. held my hand and gave it a quick squeeze. I knew she’d gone through things with her grandmother as she got older, I just hadn’t expected that my dad would ever start to get old.
“Yeah. I’ve seen it. But, I’m grateful that they have you guys to watch out for them and make sure the ranch still runs smooth.” I leaned forward, “C.J.’s an Okie, but she’s never been a farm girl. We need to get her on a horse.”
Danny nodded and Rachel laughed gleefully.
“That’s awesome. We’ll go for a ride, just us girls. How about it, C.J.?”
C.J. grimaced and sighed. “If you can handle a noob looking silly up on a horse, I’m game. I mean, I’ve sat on a few of them for photo shoots, how much harder can staying up there be?”
“That’s the spirit!” Danny chimed in. You’ll be a cowgirl before you know it.”
Brunch at the cafe was more fun than I thought it would be. Off the ranch, Danny was more relaxed and happy than I’d seen him in a long time. I watched years drop off his face as he sat and laughed with his arm around his pretty, young wife. I’d forgotten that Rachel wasn’t much older than we were, and already a successful veterinarian by her own right.
I didn’t say it out loud, but Danny was worn out from being the one responsible for the lives and wellbeing of so many ranch hands and family members, and the livestock and race horses, even the wild mustangs were in his care. I grew a new appreciation for all the unseen things my oldest brother did to keep the rest of us safe and happy. I was glad it wasn’t up to me, but maybe the little things I’d done around the ranch and the help I’d given him with his accounting and inventory programs helped a little. I made a mental note to check in with him when we got to the ranch, feeling guilty for walking away without checking on him.
The ranch might not be my dream, but it was my home, and I knew as well as anyone how difficult it was to keep that place going. I saw C.J. watching me, watching my brother. Her face was closed off, and I smiled at her. “No worries, good-looking,” I thought to myself, “I’m not going native on you.” But, I was going to see what I could do to help Danny, once I was done with Tuck.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Carina
The more of Jackson’s family I met, the more I envied his life. His brothers were generous and seemed happy to see me there with their brother, even though they were wary of the way we’d met and how fast they thought we were moving. I laughed to myself. I had friends who had met, married, and divorced in the amount of time I’d known Jackson. I had no intention of going that route.
Rachel and Daniel offered to have me ride back to the ranch with them and spend the day there, but I was a little nervous to be there with his parents without him to run interference. Jackson jumped in before I could respond. If I went with him to Tucker’s office, Jackson had a good reason to be there. I hid my sigh of relief behind my mimosa.
Austin was nothing like I thought it would be. I’d thought we were heading into the Sahara, a vast empty desert, with craggy chasms and tumbleweeds. Instead, it was green and lush, with a wide stream running through the park across from the little restaurant where we sat outside and ate under the shade of a large umbrella. I didn’t want to admit I was so wrong in my expectations, but when Rachel started talking about the live music scene in their downtown, and a whole street that was a party almost every night, weekend or weekday, I couldn’t wait to spend more time there.
“Jackson, I really like Austin.” I whispered to him when Danny and Rachel were talking to each other about their other plans. “I want to come back here when this is all done.” He looked at me and smiled, but didn’t answer. I looked all around me, trying to figure out why on earth he would want to be anywhere else, even if that’s where Stanford was, or where I was. I felt connected to the place, like there was something special waiting for me around every corner.
“I can see you thinking,” Jackson said, poking me in the side and breaking the spell. “What’s on your mind?”
“Do we have time to just see Austin? Walk around, drive around, I don’t know how big it is, but can I see more of it before we go?”
Rachel’s eyes widened. “Sugar, how about you and me, tomorrow, go on an adventure. These are my stomping grounds, and I can show you the best shops, the best restaurants, everything.”
I nodded and glanced at Jackson.
“Hey, you don’t need my permission. I’ll just go over the bookkeeping program I was writing for Danny and make sure it’s doing its job. You girls have fun.”
“Oh, it’s a date!” Rachel clapped her hands. “I can’t wait. If you don’t mind, I’ll bring a friend, too. We don’t see as much of each other anymore, but she’s so much fun to spend money with.”
Danny groaned and Jackson rolled his eyes. “If it gets too bad, we can buy an extra suitcase for your finds,” he reminded me. I was ecstatic. The only thing that would’ve made Austin better was if Shelby and Nick were there too.
We took our time with brunch and ate far too much, but the others agreed that it was best just to pack it all in and not eat again until supper, because it was going to be more food than I’d ever seen on one table, and there were going to be hurt feelings if the matriarch and her housekeeper didn’t feel like I’d eaten enough to have enjoyed it.
Danny and Rachel took us back to George’s house, and we said goodbye after Rachel and I exchanged numbers. Jackson wanted to talk to Tucker, but after how much we’d eaten, he suggested a stroll through the park so I could look around, and he could stop feeling like he was about to deliver a food baby.
We wandered along the paths that crossed the stream, and watched people out biking, people dressed for business jobs eating their lunches on park benches, and others running the paths with their dogs, or playing with their children in the grass. Rachel had said Austin was a party town, but it seemed that there was something for every kind of person here.
“I could stream from a city like this,” I sighed. “I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around how California grabbed you, when we’re not on the beach. I mean, beach beats everything else. But, wow, this place is really, really lovely.”
Jackson laughed and rubbed his neck. “Yeah, I always liked town.
The ranch, for all those thousands of acres, always seemed too confined for me. When I was at school, I was involved with everything. The studying came easy, so I had lots of free time for fun, or trouble.”
I chuckled at him. “I bet you did.” There was a question I wanted to ask, but was afraid it would pick a fight. I didn’t plan on ever asking it, but in true C.J. style, I blurted it out during another perfect moment to ruin. “How were you single when we met? There’s nothing about you that’s given me that ‘aha’ moment as to why you were available to even start talking to me.” I held my breath.
“I had been seeing someone, but I never had a girlfriend I wanted to bring around the ranch, so when summer came, I always split with them.”
“Every year?”
“Pretty much, yeah. Far as my family is concerned, you’re my first girlfriend.”
“Well, no wonder they’re all acting like you’ve gone off the deep end. Thanks a lot for nothing,” I groused. He put his arms around me and kissed my cheek, when I wouldn’t let him kiss my mouth.
“Please, in about thirty seconds, you’re going to stop being mad at me, and start gloating about how you’re the only one good enough to take home to the parents.”
I shoved him off me and punched him in the arm, making him wince. “Next step, is not boasting about how well you know me, even if you’re right.” I took the arm he offered and rubbed the spot where I’d hit him. “Got you good, didn’t I?”
“Yes, Carina, you certainly did.” Something in the way he said my name told me we weren’t talking about the same thing, but I let it go. I had managed not to ruin our moment together, and I gave myself a mental pat on the back for learning when to stop picking at things that didn’t matter. However, there was lots of time for me to still blow it, and remembering that, made my gut clench and my throat dry.
Suddenly, the sunlight didn’t seem quite so bright, and the symphony of laughter and conversations in the park seemed cacophonous and out of tune. I took Jackson’s arm and let him lead me back to his truck. All around me was a world I had never thought existed where weird people and art and individuality was celebrated and no one blinked when they saw someone who was different or creative, they just incorporated them into the whole. Jackson had worked so hard to get away from it, I wondered if he was with me, or if I was an easy excuse for leaving.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Jackson
C.J. had gone from being as happy as I’d ever seen her, including after her big win, to sad and closed off. It had to have been something I said. Tucker’s office was only a few blocks away, but with the doom clouds that had suddenly appeared on my horizon, I decided to drive in case she wasn’t up to meeting any more family.
We stopped at the front desk for our “visitor” tags and the security guy called up to tell Tuck we were there. Matt had been the front desk security since before Tucker was employed by his firm, so when he looked C.J. over on the sly and gave me the thumbs up, I just chuckled and nodded my head. My girlfriend looked a little better than she had, but the light had vanished from her eyes and I could see her jaw working as it clenched and unclenched.
I took her hand and kissed her knuckles as we waited for Tuck to appear through the elevator doors. Suddenly, there was a hand on my shoulder, and I jumped a foot off the floor in fright. Eyes wide in panic, I glanced over at C.J., who was pursing her lips to keep from laughing, with one hand over her heart.
“Damn you Tuck!” I cursed at him, trying to get my bearings. C.J. stood off to one side, tears in the corners of her eyes. I figured if they weren’t because she was sad, I could forgive Tuck for scaring the ever-living hell out of me, and I wrapped him in a bear hug.
“You must be C.J.,” he said, holding out a hand to her. She reached out and he captured her hand between his own and bent over it as though he was going to kiss it.
“It’s nice to meet you, Tucker. Jackson has told me so much about you,” she replied, looking at him quizzically until he released her hand.
“So, other than getting to meet your girl before the big family shindig, to what do I owe the pleasure, Bro?” I motioned him to one side of the foyer and C.J. followed, and we sat in the oversized armchairs by a table covered in magazines.
“Danny’s worried about some trouble you’ve been having, and wanted me to see if there was anything I could do to give you some leverage with Carl,” I started.
Tucker sighed and looked at the floor between his knees. “I don’t want your help Jackson. I have to handle this on my own,” he said. “I mean, who’s the older brother here? You going to break into Equifax and give me perfect credit, too?”
“Don’t be stupid. Perfect credit would, in and of itself, raise flags.” He arched his eyebrows at me. “I was asked to come offer my assistance. I was just going to look at a few emails and see if there was any information that would be useful to you. We want to help you, Tucker. You’re our brother, and you don’t deserve this.”
C.J. sat across from us, arms folded in front of her. She looked unhappy again, and Tucker hadn’t missed it.
“What do you think about his, C.J.?”
“I hate it.”
I stared at her, mouth gaping. “I don’t mind him playing at hacking to help people protect themselves from real hackers, but I don’t want him going to jail. I see all of you together, and I’m so mad I could cry. Who risks everything that Jackson has for a high?”
“I don’t think I’m going to get a high off some email espionage,” I argued.
“Then you need to look in the mirror, because you are as lit as Christmas morning.” She shook her head. “You asked, I answered. It’s not up to me, and I’m not going to go storming off just because you don’t care. But, you should. I have no one. If I died, Shelby would care, and a few people I’ve never even met in person, and then, because they were paying me for entertainment and there’s no one to give them a refund.”
I didn’t know what to say or do, but Tucker reached out and put his hand on her knee. “I’ve already heard from two brothers and two sisters-in-law today, talking about how beautiful, and sweet, and funny you are. You don’t have to have no one. You have us. Hell, it sounded like the guys would trade Jackson for you in a hostage situation.”
I coughed out a laugh and nodded at her when she looked at me. “I’d put my money on that being a true story. Why didn’t you just tell me that before?”
“It’s who you are, Jackson. You’re a hacker, and you’re not a white hat, either. You like the darkest side of grey you can skim across without actually crossing the line,” she asserted. I opened my mouth to argue, and she held up her hand and leaned forward. “If you could, would you use Jameson’s credit card to order two hundred pizzas, sent to a sorority, or make it look like he embezzled from his company for his last vacation?”
I laughed. “Those are pretty good ideas, but Tucker would get mad if he won the fight with such an obvious cheat.”
“It’s my fight to win or lose,” said Tucker. “I’m not sinking to his level, I won’t give him the satisfaction.”
“We can’t stand watching him do this to you anymore,” I told him. “And I feel confident speaking on behalf of the guys who asked me to fly home just to take care of this.”
Tucker looked at C.J., who was carefully ignoring us both. She picked up a magazine and stared down, but didn’t seem to be reading, and never turned the page.
“Go home, Jackson. I’ll see you for dinner.” Tucker stood and C.J. put the magazine down and stood up too. “I have to take care of this my way. But, I will. I’ll tell you all about it when I get there tonight.”
I stammered and grabbed his arm. “If this is going to come to blows, don’t you think I should be there?”
Tucker laughed and smacked at me, shoving me off him. “If I beat the guy up, it won’t be in this building. Go on, get. I’ll see you soon.” He took C.J.’s hand and held it. “It was a real pleasure meeting you, miss C.J.”
He
walked us to my truck, while I tried to think of something else to say. “Don’t, Jackson,” he cut me off when I tried. “I got this. I let it go too long, and I shouldn’t have put my family in a position where they thought they had to protect me.” He turned to C.J., and pulled her into a big hug. “I will see you later, beautiful. Thanks for being honest. You have a lot of integrity. I like that.”
“Thanks for being so nice to me. I’ll see you later,” C.J. replied. We climbed in the truck and I sat quietly, without starting it.
“I don’t want to endanger what we have, C.J.”
“I know you won’t on purpose. But, I don’t think it occurs to you when you’re in that space in your head. All you see is the puzzle, and you can’t help but try to solve it.”
I nodded. “I’m glad you like Austin, it makes me happy to see you enjoying yourself so much.”
“I can’t believe you ever wanted to leave. It feels like home here.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, it does. But, for a long time, it didn’t. Maybe what it was missing, is you.”
She shook her head. “I learned that people are too temporary in life to make them your home,” she replied sadly. “You have to take life one day at a time, and do what’s best for you.”
“That’s an awful bleak outlook for someone who seems so happy all the time.”
“That’s how I stay happy. I don’t depend on somebody else.”
I started the truck and backed out to the road. “Well, you best start learning how to depend on people. Because you’re one of us now, and, as you might have noticed, depending on each other is part of the bargain.”
“I’m not asking…”
“I know you’re not asking. I’m telling you, right now, to knock that shit off. I know I’ll let you down, but I’ll lift you up a whole helluva lot more often. So, take it in stride, sure. But don’t ever think you can’t depend on me and mine to help you, hold you, and be there for you. I’m so mad at you right now for thinking I would ever walk away…” I broke off before I could say too much.