Following at a greater distance, she was thankful she had a full tank of gas. It wasn’t until he pulled into the hamburger place that she relaxed. Through the windshield of her car, she used the small pair of binoculars she kept in her console to watch them during their meal. Bile had bubbled in her throat as she watched the two of them laugh together with such ease.
The miniature golf had all but turned her stomach. She had watched Clay grab Dana’s backside, saw her immediate surprise and then witnessed their hug. She also saw the ball hit the windmill and head directly back toward them. Linda’s eyes slid half shut when their embrace lasted, watching as the two of them laughed. Linda decided Clay could do all these little mundane things with Dana, for when they were eventually together, she’d have better ways to spend his time.
Something caught his attention in the parking lot as they approached the car. He tried to dismiss it, but a strange feeling kept coming back, like he was being watched. Or maybe they were being watched because of Dana. Either way, he didn’t like the feeling. Making a mental note, he would be more alert for a few days, just to make sure. Maybe it was a good thing that Dana was going to Florida for a week.
Chapter Eleven
Pulling the seat belt tight across her, Dana saw the clock on the dashboard. It was past ten. She had no idea. Where had the evening gone? Clay took the long way home, the back roads more conducive to her mood. Hitting the cruise control once out of the town limits, he glanced at Dana. She was watching the sky and the stars as they drove.
Dana didn’t feel obligated to talk when she was with Clay. That was one of the nice things about being with him, a compatible silence eased around them. When she had been dating, she always felt it her responsibility to keep the conversation going. With Clay, she didn’t feel the need. Crossing back over the county line, she finally did speak.
“Clay, I had a good time tonight, thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I had a good time too.” He took her hand in his, holding it gently between them. “When does your flight leave?”
“Nine a.m.”
“Need a ride to the airport?”
“Thanks, no. I’ve arranged a car service to pick me up. I have to leave before six.”
“How long will you be gone?”
“A week. Nine days tops.”
Clay pulled his hand from hers, shut off the cruise control and drove manually the rest of the way to her house, both his hands on the wheel. “What’s the job?”
“Print ad, a cosmetics layout.” She started to laugh. “I’m sure they’ll be thrilled when my face breaks out from all the grease I ate tonight.”
He laughed at her tone, knew it was a joke. Dana was always a bit self-deprecating, and thankfully she wasn’t obsessed with her weight the way some would be. “Want company?”
Dana wasn’t sure if she heard him right. “Excuse me?”
“I asked if you wanted company.”
“When?” Dana felt she was on shaky ground here, just what was he asking?
“Florida.”
“No.” She straightened in her seat. “I mean, I won’t have much down time. They wanted me for two weeks to do the shoot. I told them one week was all I could spare. I can’t be distracted, especially after changing their schedule.”
“All right.”
“I’ll be back in time for the town meeting. How about I take you to dinner after it’s over? Either I’ll have my permits or a major headache, want to take a chance?”
“With you, always.” He was turning off the road into the private driveway of her family home. Pulling to the side, he killed the engine just inside the stone gateway.
Sitting in the open car, staring up at the stars, Dana wanted him to make a move, wondered if he was waiting for her to make it. Instead, he finally released his seat belt, shifting in his seat to look.
“You’re so beautiful, Dana. I wonder if you ever realize that.”
“Clay, it’s just good genes and bone structure. Luck of the draw, remember?”
“I remember.”
“My mother, she was beautiful, so graceful and kind.”
“You’re very much like her, you know.”
“Am I? Sometimes it’s hard to remember her. I have glimpses of memories. Mostly I remember her from her pictures.”
“She’d be proud of you, Dana. Of all you’ve done, what you’re doing with the mansion.”
“I often wondered if she had lived, how my life would have been different.”
“Can’t second-guess it, kid. If my mother hadn’t gotten up the courage to leave my father, if she hadn’t met old Holly…” Dana had her arms around his neck, pulling him close.
“Clay, I wonder what would happen if I…if things were different with me.” Kissing his cheek, she pulled back from him, slid up the passenger seat, and swung her legs over the side of the car. Walking around the front to his side, she leaned down, face-to-face with him.
“You have to move on, Clay. So do I.” She gave him one last soft kiss on his lips and then straightened. “Thanks for tonight. For a while, I forgot to be worried.”
“Dana, get in, I’ll drive you up to the house.”
“No, Clay. I’ll walk. See you after next week.” She took a step back from the car adding, “Supper, my treat, after the meeting.” When she didn’t move away, he pulled himself up onto the back of his seat, resting his arms on the rim of the windshield, waiting. He watched Dana deciding something. He was shocked with her question.
“Clay, the blonde in Denver…”
“Denver, how did you know I was there?”
“I saw you. In the airport, I was leaving, and you were arriving with skis”—she drew a breath and finished—“and the blonde.”
“Why didn’t you let me know you were there?” Confusion crossed his face. Dana could read it in the moonlight.
“Somehow I didn’t think the woman draped across you would have appreciated it!” Her tone wasn’t catty, it was resigned.
“The blonde was a mistake. Over before it ever got started. I was trying to prove something to myself.”
“What were you trying to prove, Clay?”
“That I could lead a normal life without you in it.” He looked her straight on. “That was just after Jeff’s wedding, and you’d gone back to Manhattan.”
“Oh.” With that, she climbed the fence in the center of the driveway, wandering along the grassy pasture in the darkness. She knew Clay watched a long time. Finally, she heard his engine start. Seeing the headlights turn on, she raised her arm to wave but didn’t turn back. She knew from the engine noise and change in light he’d turned at the driveway entrance and left.
Walking back to the guesthouse, Dana remembered when she was home for the holidays. Christmas and a New Year’s wedding. How much more romantic could it have been? She had a clear picture of Clay standing beside Jeff, both of them in tuxedos. The sight of them both had taken her breath away. When had it happened, she wondered, as photographs were being taken later? During the ceremony, when the vows were being exchanged, Clay had caught her eye for just a second.
In that flash, her perception had changed. He was what she had been searching for all along. Now that she understood it, she knew she would never look at Clay the same way. During the reception, he had danced with her, pulling her close, her head resting on his shoulder. Dana had closed her eyes, willing the moment never to end. Then he’d dragged her into the closet, dropped to his knees and licked her pussy, using his fingers to punctuate his tongue movements, making her come twice, her body ultimately wilting onto his solid chest for support. They’d kissed, Dana licking her cum from his lips. Then it was over. He left her in the closet with a sly smile.
Sitting on her back patio, she remembered the motorcycle ride he had taken her on the day after Christmas. He had pulled up, just when she thought she would go crazy from boredom. She didn’t have to be talked into his offer. She was mounting the back of the bike before he finished asking her. S
lipping her arms around his waist, she had held on to him. He rode until it was almost dark, returning her to the front steps of her home. They hadn’t talked that day, just rode.
He had come back the afternoon after the wedding. Jeff and Lisa had already left for their honeymoon trip, and Dana was packing for her flight the next morning. They had raided the refrigerator, snacking on leftovers from the party. He never mentioned the closet incident the day before, so she hadn’t either. But she kept waiting for it to get uncomfortable from not talking about his making her wilt in his arms. The afternoon wore on. Dana struggled to keep from jumping in his arms and dragging him to her room. She wanted desperately to convince him to finally fuck her. She didn’t, and he acted as if it had never happened.
“How’s New York treating you, kid?”
“Typical,” she answered, enjoying the last bit of the cream puff she was attacking. “I keep my appointments, try to stay out of trouble, or at least the tabloids,” she joked. “And I’m enjoying my classes.”
“What this time?”
“A side in anthropology,” she mentioned as she headed for glasses while he grabbed the milk container.
“Just a side,” he teased.
“Just classes, really.”
“Who was the guy in the Town and Country article?” He chose to wander away, returning with several sheets of paper towel, handing her one.
“Nobody, really, an arranged date.”
“Arranged, you!”
“It’s easier, really. If I have to go to functions, I’d rather go with someone who knows the agenda. It’s a lot less embarrassing that way.” Her eyes smiled to him.
“What agendas?”
“Whatever it happens to be at the time, for him or me.” She licked the last of the crème from her fingertip. “Want any more of this?” she asked. He only shook his head as she re-covered the plate with the plastic wrap.
“Just who makes these arrangements, kid?”
“Usually my agent with another of her clients needing a little publicity or to promote something.”
“And you don’t mind being…arranged?”
“Really, Clay. You make it sound so sordid. It’s much more relaxed if both he and I know what our jobs are for the evening. I promote what I have to, he promotes what he has to. Actually, I think they do it more to conserve on the limos.”
“Jeez, Dana, how can you joke about it?” Dana stopped and studied him. Maybe he couldn’t understand.
“At least I know I wouldn’t be groped all night. And there’s never that awkward moment when he takes me home. I like not having to make excuses for not inviting someone in.”
“From that perspective, I see your point. But do you ever get to have fun?”
“I had fun with you on the motorcycle. I felt free and alive.” Dana hesitated but smiled at him and added, “I felt much better in the closet during the wedding. There’s something about a man on his knees before me.” Clay looked embarrassed. “You have amazing hands. I’d like to feel them all over me.”
Dana figured she’d gone too far when he walked to the kitchen sink and turned his attention to the outdoor view. “What I’d really like is to feel your cock in my pussy and my ass. I want to know how you’d fuck me, Clay. What your face would look like when you come inside me. What gets you hot, Clay, what do you need to get to the point where you’d fuck my brains out?” His expression was a cross between shock and lust. She was just reaching toward him when the phone rang, interrupting them.
“Answer it,” he’d said, his voice cracking with the words.
“Don’t go away,” she told him reaching for the receiver. She wondered if he’d still be there when the call ended.
They had dropped the conversation when the phone rang, Clay pressing a kiss to her cheek as he left, leaving her to talk to her agent about travel arrangements. The strange feeling had stayed with him for a long time, haunting him. His mind kept flashing her image. Standing in the dark blue velvet dress, with flowers holding her hair back from her face, she had matured, he realized, since the last time he had really looked.
Clay was thankful the phone rang and he didn’t have to answer Dana. What would he have said? All the way over to see her, he’d assumed they’d talk about their moment. Most likely joke it away. However, he wasn’t sure what he’d say if she wanted more. He was willing to give her all of his attention, but she was still living in New York, working and going to college full-time. Where did that leave them as a couple? With a long-distance relationship, because he couldn’t and wouldn’t abandon his business or the farm to chase after her.
No, he decided. He would pass it off as a long, smoldering moment that was satisfied between them. If she had enjoyed it, that would be better all the way around, but he knew he had to give her a graceful way back to her established lifestyle.
Then the phone had rung and he took the punt, leaving the words unspoken. Taking a quick kiss to remember her by and as a goodbye, he left before he got stupid and confessed his undying love for her. Driving home, he cursed himself for running, justifying it was better for both of them. He’d stayed clear of her and the old house the next few times she’d come home, avoiding temptation and any awkward conversations.
Through the three years that had passed, he still remembered her scent, how she jutted her hips forward to take his lips and tongue against her. How tight she was around his fingers. How her brown pussy curls were trimmed close. His body quaked with a chill remembering it now. How many nights had he used that image to jerk off to?
That was years ago. If he thought she had the wisdom of a forty-year-old then, what had she become now? Her face was slightly fuller, her curves filled in a little more. Clay had tried to push it off to the candlelight and romance of the wedding, but deep inside him, he knew. She had grown up. She was a woman now, and he a man, and it bothered the hell out of him.
Even now that she was home for good, he still couldn’t bring himself to be honest about his feelings, to be blunt and put the subject out there where she couldn’t just push it away with excuses.
Clay knew they’d be good together in many ways, all the ways it would take to build a life and family together. Now he just had to verbalize his thoughts. He knew Dana wouldn’t broach the subject, especially after all the hints about being an unconventional woman, which he still didn’t really understand. He knew the meaning of the word, just not how she was interpreting it in the context of a sexual relationship between them. He slid his fingers through his hair and shook his head.
Walk away, he told himself, knowing he couldn’t.
Chapter Twelve
They sat around the table on the patio, Jeff to his left, Lisa on his right. Clay’s depressed mood hadn’t been easy to hide, even though he tried. He had picked at the supper Lisa prepared, opting for an extra glass of wine. “I’ll get coffee,” Lisa said, leaving the two old friends alone in the dusky light. Adam fussed in his bassinet, and Clay rose to get him. With the baby nestled against his shoulder, he went back to his seat. Lisa returned with a bottle in hand, ready to take Adam from Clay.
“I got it,” he told her, taking the bottle from her. “You promised me coffee,” he teased.
“Coming up.” He caught the look that passed between the husband and wife, knowing it had something to do with him. Looking to Jeff, he waited while his friend chose the right words.
“Clay, do you love her?” It wasn’t what he expected, but he knew he wouldn’t lie.
“Lisa? Of course, but not the same way you do.”
“Cut the shit, Clay. We both know I’m asking about Dana.” Clay put Adam on his shoulder, patting his back gently, searching for the right words.
“Just remember I’m holding your son.” His joke fell flat. “God help me, Jeff. Yes.” He paused, shifting the baby to give him more of the bottle. “She doesn’t feel the same about me. I’m coming to terms with it. I just need some time.”
“What makes you think she doesn’t love you
, Clay?” Both men were surprised Lisa had snuck up on them in the darkness, the wooden tray she carried filled with cups and the coffeepot. “No really, Clay. I’ve avoided this conversation with you and Jeff since she came home.”
“How long has this been going on?” Jeff sat forward, accepting the cup from his wife.
“Since the christening party, I think,” she added. “Am I right, Clay?”
“Yes and no.” He chose to look at Adam in his arms instead of his two closest friends. “I saw her differently when she came home for your wedding. She didn’t acknowledge it then, so I figured it was best to let it go. She was still so young.”
“Twenty-three is legal for everything,” Lisa added.
“It wasn’t about her being legal.”
“Where was I during all this?”
“Lost in the romance of our wedding, my dearest,” Lisa teased. “Besides, Clay suddenly took to being so busy whenever she came back after that.” She watched as he shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “I’m right, aren’t I?”
“I figured it was best to give her some space. She didn’t come home that often.”
“I can’t believe you never told me and you…” He turned to Lisa. “How could you have kept this from me all this time?”
“Jeff, chill. Nothing has happened. Nothing’s going to. Dana doesn’t feel the same way about me. I won’t push her.”
“You’re wrong, Clay Hollister, dead wrong.” Both men looked to her. Lisa sat back, sipping from her cup. “She’s in love with you, only she doesn’t know how to show it.”
“Lisa, I don’t think this is the time or place to discuss this,” Jeff told her.
“It’s the perfect place and time. We’re supposed to be three good friends, who just happen to be discussing the fourth person we all love. Clay, I went through her letters to me again. I don’t see a pattern.”
“What letters, what pattern? Information now, or I start hitting Clay on general principle.” Jeff stood, scraping his chair along the stone patio.
“Sit, Jeff, hear me out.” Lisa explained about Clay asking for information about Dana’s last boyfriend. She only glanced over the reason, but he was smart enough to fill in the blanks.
Payne, Lillith - His Unconventional Woman (Siren Publishing Classic) Page 14