Ruck would’ve dashed forward if he could’ve gotten through the shield of magic. He still tried, punching at the barrier between us.
There was no going back now. I’d done it. Ryker was stuck and he knew it. But then again, so was I. The magic would contain us in this circle alone until one of us was dead. Death wasn’t the hardest part. Getting to that point was going to be worse. I’d taken plenty of beatings in my life, and none of them were fond memories. Hopefully he’d be merciful and do it quickly.
I could see Ryker’s jaw tense; his whole body tensed. His magic was off the charts, and none of it felt even a little bit good.
He stood and stared as if he were contemplating murder, and he didn’t look so sad right now. I hoped he didn’t drag it out.
“I know you’re upset, but if you could make it quick?”
He narrowed his eyes, as if he didn’t know what I was talking about.
I looked at the dirt at my feet, because it was easier than looking at his accusing eyes. “And also, I know you like my crew. If you could send them away with some supplies after I’m dead? I know I don’t have a right to ask, but it’s really rough out there—”
“You’re not dying. I’m not letting you die.”
My gaze shot up. “What? I thought this was to the death?”
“That’s what you get for listening to stories. When I win, you will stay and help me until I let you die.” He was furious, and his magic was ricocheting all over our magical enclosure.
There was no way I was going to win, and now I couldn’t even die. What the hell had I just done?
He was waiting for me to speak, probably expecting my terms. I couldn’t waste my terms, just in case. “If I win, you force my people away from you. I’ll still hold to my bargain, but not with any of them around.”
He nodded, and now there was nothing left to do but hope for a swell of magic to come save me. I had to win. Had to. How was I going to do that? I had punched him before. That was at least a place to start.
We separated, both of us feeling out the perimeters of our magical arena.
I took one step toward him, and my feet were yanked forward until I slammed onto my back, the wind immediately knocked from my lungs. I was still trying to get my chest to inflate fully when he was standing over me.
“Concede.”
No. I said the word, but nothing came out.
He kneeled beside me. “You can’t win. You won’t even put on a good show.” Ryker looked to the sidelines, where Ruck stood, before turning his attention back to me. “But you knew you’d lose. Didn’t you?” He stood. “Concede.”
“No.” This time the word came out. I jumped to my feet, the anger sending my magic into a rage. He was right. I was going to lose, but I was going to get one good shot off before I did. Just one shot for Sinsy, who never should’ve been with us. I shoved my magic at him, and it bounced. It slammed back into me, and I landed in a crash a foot away.
Damn, that had been rough. Maybe I was stronger than I thought.
I tried to get off the ground and found I was pinned there by an invisible force weighing down on my legs and arms.
“Are you done yet?” he asked as he stepped closer.
I tried to shove up again and couldn’t. I struggled against the invisible bonds, and knew I must’ve looked pathetic to all. I’d been ready to lose, but not like this. I pushed with everything I had and then felt the magic churning up higher. That strange feeling was building. I looked at Ryker, and he looked as uncomfortable as I was feeling. If I could wait him out, he’d crack.
I couldn’t.
“I concede.” All the magic instantly disappeared. That was all it took to get me to quit. Pathetic.
I got to my feet, a bit worse off than when I’d started but not as bad as I’d expected.
Ryker walked over and stopped a few inches away. “You force my hand like that again and the payment will be worse.”
Worse than indentured servitude for life? Not sure how that was possible. And why was it that he was the mad one, again?
I walked over to Ruck. “I’m not as strong as you guys think. You’re walking to your death.” I could see the doubt finally shining in Ruck’s eyes.
He shrugged. “Then we’ll die together.”
Then he walked away from me, too.
Chapter 28
We’d walked all day and Ryker was suspiciously quiet, especially toward me. I hadn’t tried to speak to him either, though. I hadn’t spoken to anyone.
I still couldn’t believe Sinsy was gone. I kept expecting to look over and see her walking beside me. After an hour of looking over my shoulder, I decided to pretend she hadn’t come, that she was back at the Valley, safe and sound. Then I’d glance over at Ruck and see the mourning in his eyes, the sadness that was weighing him down, and there was no forgetting.
I still wanted to scream and rant and rave, but I was done being idiotic. I wouldn’t call for any more duels. As it was, I’d already made my situation so much worse. I’d called for the duel, telling myself it was for Ruck, but I’d been looking for an outlet for my rage over Sinsy.
I hadn’t expected such a steep loss. I hadn’t expected much of anything. I hadn’t thought it through enough to get to expectations.
Now I was supposed to stay with Ryker forever? The only thing that kept me sane was knowing he didn’t really want me to stay forever. I drove him crazy. We drove each other crazy. He’d rescind it somehow.
By the time we made camp for the night, I didn’t want to think of anyone or anything. Not Sinsy or my new deal, or if I’d live long enough to get stuck with Ryker.
I tossed down my sack as Ryker asked, “Who wants to get the wood tonight?”
“I’ll go get it.”
“Ruck, go get us some wood,” Ryker said.
Ruck looked at Ryker, then me, then Ryker again. “Okay,” he said, and shook his head as he walked off.
I followed him. I’d get wood too if I wanted. I followed Ruck around the perimeter of the camp, close enough that they’d hear us scream if we needed backup but far enough they wouldn’t hear us talk.
He stopped walking, and I did too. “You okay?” he asked, and I knew this wasn’t about Ryker.
I shrugged. “Okay” was a bit of a leap. “You?”
He shrugged. I nodded. At least we were on the same page. Neither of us wanted to talk about Sinsy. She wasn’t the first person we’d lost. Not even close. But she was turning out to be one of the hardest.
I walked along and was picking up my third stick, looking for some other topic than Sinsy to think of.
“I don’t know why he’s the one who’s so angry. I’m the one all banged up.”
Ruck stared at me as if dumbfounded by what I’d said. “You know how you hate people forcing you to do what they want? Guess what? No one else likes it either.”
I froze. “Are you mad at me? I can’t handle you being mad at me too.” It wasn’t an overreaction, either. I had my limits for what I could deal with within a day.
“I was only mad for about an hour. I’m over it. I can’t speak for the others, though.”
That was the best thing about Ruck. He wasn’t into grudges.
“Here, can you take these back with you?” I asked, handing him the wood I’d collected.
“Where you going?”
“I need to see if I can find an apology out here somewhere.”
“I hope you find a really big, hulking one,” he said as he turned to head back.
I walked back into camp an hour later. I knew everyone saw me walk in and then head toward Ryker. The closer I got to him, the more they tried to ignore us both. By the time I was standing beside where he was pushing the fire around, everyone else was as far as they could get from us, without actually leaving the safety of the fire.
He didn’t acknowledge me as I stood beside him. I got it. I might’ve been a little out of line. But geez, he saw me standing here. He had to have some clue I was looking to m
ake peace.
It took a few minutes of stalling before I held out my hand out, palm up, with three wort mushrooms offered up.
He glanced down at my hand, then met my eyes briefly, before continuing to ignore my presence. After I’d seen the chill in them, I wasn’t so upset about him looking the other way.
“If you rub these on the burned skin, it should be healed by tomorrow. Or it does with natural burns, anyway.” It was a trick I’d learned from Loretta. I didn’t know what it would do to the burns he must’ve gotten pulling me out of the Brim River.
“I don’t need them.”
He’d been exposed twice as long as I had, and my legs hadn’t stopped stinging yet. But he wasn’t going to take them, probably because they had come from me.
“I reacted badly.” I wasn’t going to add to Sinsy’s death. He knew what had happened, and I couldn’t guarantee I wouldn’t go crazy again if I had to delve into that gaping wound. “I’m sorry.”
That was one hard word to spit out. I’d never felt this in the wrong before. There seemed to be some sort of correlation between the difficulty of apologizing and the deed. Everyone was always so eager to offer up advice, and yet no one had ever told me that apologies got progressively harder the more you messed up. If they were all so smart, that might’ve been a good one to add.
Ryker didn’t say anything. I’d apologized and nothing? Had I been that bad? Well, he’d saved me and then I’d attacked him. Not my best moment for sure, but Ruck would’ve been laughing with me already.
I waited for another few minutes, thinking he was going to come around.
He didn’t. Apology not accepted. Got it.
I placed the mushrooms in a pile by his feet.
I went over to where my stuff was and tried to pretend that hadn’t happened. It would’ve went much better if Ruck hadn’t stalked me as if I had two shadows. Still, I persevered in silence and hoped he’d take the hint.
I squatted beside my sack, acting busy. He squatted beside me, not taking the hint. He tilted his head farther down, his eyebrows looking like matching question marks.
I’d never been considered an optimist, but I still clung to hope he would let this one rest. For once, he wouldn’t state the obvious.
He handed me a piece of meat, since I’d missed dinner, and then said, “That didn’t look like it went well.”
“Nope, it didn’t.” I took a bite of meat so he wouldn’t expect me to say anything else.
I was the last to wake the next morning, most likely because I’d been the last to fall asleep, the growls of the chewers still fresh in my head and the silence of Ryker accompanying it. It was a far cry from soothing white noise.
“Why are your legs still burned?”
I spun to see Ryker walking toward me, and yanked my pants legs down. “Sometimes it takes longer.” And sometimes you only found enough for one person.
He walked off. He wasn’t exactly sunshine and rainbows, but he was talking to me, so that was an improvement.
Ruck gave me a thumbs-up and a huge smile from where he was folding up his pelt. I smiled back, nowhere near as enthusiastic as he was over Ryker’s first words.
It took another four hours before Ryker spoke to me again. He stopped beside me while I was refilling my water sack in a stream we were passing. “They’re still red and blistered.”
I tugged my pants down again. Was I going to have to search through the forest, find a Tacky Sap Tree, and glue my pants to my ankles? It felt like my legs were being stalked. “It’s still taking some time, I guess.”
“I woke up and my legs were fine.” His tone was flat, even, and more than a tad skeptical.
“Because I couldn’t find any more. Does that make you happy? It’s out. My secret is out. I gave them all to you. It was an apology. It would’ve been a really bad apology if I’d used them all up instead. I messed up. I know I screwed you with the challenge and forced you into something you didn’t want to do, and I’m sorry.” It was quite a tirade of an apology, as if once you greased those apology wheels, they really rolled.
He stood silently while everyone watched, since, as luck would have it, we’d all needed to refill. I knew I had some faults, stubbornness being one. But worse than stubbornness, I was about as prideful as they got, so this was going to be a tough one. I swallowed loudly, knowing everyone was about to hear what I said next.
“I’m bending. This is me bending. I’ll even get on my knees and beg if that’s what you want.” I followed my words with action, ignoring the thick mud. “But please, release me from the promise I made in the duel?”
I saw the lines in his face softening. He wasn’t totally heartless. He was going to release me. He felt bad for me, and I didn’t even care if he pitied me, as long as he released me from my duel promise.
I was so sure that he would. He wanted to. I could see it. When I heard his next words, it felt like he’d taken a knife out and stabbed me.
“I’m not sure if I can.”
“I’m apologizing. I’ll bend as much as you want. Please, Ryker, don’t do this to me. I know I’m partially to blame, but…please?”
He grabbed me under my arms, dragging me to my feet again.
“It’s not my choice. I don’t know if I can.”
I was trapped, worse than I’d ever been in my life, and I’d had some hairy moments. There was no out, no choice of where I wanted to go or live. That was it. I was stuck with him. I knew what happened if you disobeyed a magical vow. You died.
I pulled out of his grasp and took a few steps away. I felt his hand land on my shoulder, but it didn’t hold me when I kept walking. “I’m fine. Really, I’m fine.”
I started off in the direction we’d been walking, taking the lead so no one could see my face as reality set in. Was I really stuck? He’d said he didn’t know. That didn’t mean there was no possibility.
I’d get out of this. I’d make it out of this entire mess because I had to. I hadn’t gotten this far, survived this long, for this to be how my life turned out.
Chapter 29
I collapsed by the fire, in between Sneak and Burn, after practice. Ryker strode in behind me, as if he could go another ten hours. I wasn’t sure how he could travel all day, practice with me, and still have anything left.
He’d been right, though. Once I’d broken the ward that first time, it had been much easier each time after. A couple of pokes and I was pushing right through. That was great, except I still couldn’t build one.
The fire played with the angles of Ryker’s face as he stood by the fire. “You’ve got to be able to make a ward. Once you get to Bedlam and break theirs, it’ll be like sending up a smoke signal. All the Wyrd Blood in Bedlam are going to sense your magic and come for you. You have to be able to hold them off until I can get to you.” He turned and stopped in front of me, then stared at Burn. “But if she could juice your ward…”
Burn threw his arm around my shoulders. “We do make a good team.”
Burn was right. When we’d made that torch together, it had been pretty potent.
Magic flared out of nowhere and Burn dropped his arm. He shifted away a bit. “Work-wise, I mean.”
It took a second for Ryker’s magic to pull back in as Burn shifted a little further away from me.
“It could work. You too tired to try?” Ryker asked, as if that burst of magic hadn’t happened.
It was getting to be where I expected his magic to be as out of control as mine these days. Although the stress was getting to us all. If everyone else was going to ignore it, though, I wasn’t the one who was going to tell Ryker he was developing a little problem.
I got up and looked at Burn, the ward taking precedence over Ryker’s magical bursts. I did want to get out of Bedlam alive if possible. “Should I grab your arm? How does this work?”
Burn stood up beside me and shoved back the sleeve of his shirt. “Arm is fine.”
Sneak and Ruck backed up, probably thinking of the torch from
our last fight.
Ryker took a step forward but left a solid buffer in between. “Focus on him, like you did when you made the torch.”
I laid my hand on Burn, squeezing firmly. Magic swelled around me and I pushed whatever I had toward him and waited. “Is it up?”
Ryker walked over and slammed a hand against the invisible barrier and then left it there for a few seconds. “It’s not the greatest.” He looked at me. “Can you give him a little more power?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Do you need motivation?” Ryker’s eyebrows rose.
Who knew what he’d come up with to motivate me, but it was surely something I’d want to kill him for. All I knew was the hint aggravated me enough to feel more magic revving.
It worked, and I felt more energy transferring from me to Burn. “I can do it. And just so you know, I’m going to get you back for all these taunts one day.”
Ryker smiled and then slammed a hand into the ward again. “I think it’ll hold, at least long enough for me to come and get you out.”
I dropped his arm, feeling like mine weighed a ton at the moment. Juicing people was as much of a strain as doing the magic yourself.
Ryker walked back to stand in front of the fire, and I could see the wheels still turning.
“It’s normal, by the way,” Burn said. He sank to the ground, dug through his sac and found a piece of dried beef to chew on.
I dropped beside him, using a boulder for a back rest. “The exhaustion?”
“No, but that is too. I meant your emotions controlling your magic to some degree. You get past it, though.”
“What about Ryker’s flares lately?” If he hadn’t gotten complete control, how was I ever going to? When I’d first met him, I thought he had his magic locked down. Maybe no one ever got it completely under control.
“He’s just hitting a rough patch, is all,” Burn said, evading the issue.
Rough patch? The guy leading us was having a rough patch? It was better before Burn had talked. I was walking toward my possible death being led by someone in a rough patch.
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