On Thursday evening, I was sitting in, having planned ahead of time to take another long drive- since I needed more and more these days- my car in the parking lot of the school, waiting for Keira to come out of the gym after her practice was over. Ever since our separation three weeks before, watching her from a distance had become a routine. I remembered when I used to drive to her house late at night, just to see the light from her bedroom window, how every moment meant something special. Now, while I was restricted on the outside, looking out for her felt like a job, another part of the mission. A part that hurt.
It was already dark out and rain was pouring down on the roof of my Bugatti Veyron. With the music turned up as loud as my stereo would allow, I waited and watched the exit door for over an hour. Eventually, the other varsity basketball girls started leaving, but of course, Keira was the last one. When she finally came out, I was past being ready to leave and my hand was already on the gear shifter, my foot pressing the break into the floorboard. But something made me stop… Something wasn’t right… Countless years of looking over my shoulder might have made me a bit paranoid every once and again, but I had always erred on the side of caution. Without thinking, I scanned the parking lot around me… There. In the shadow of Keira’s Wrangler, a figure was leaning against the car’s trunk door. I could see it was clearly male and clearly not human.
My fear had become a reality. Keira was being targeted, and she was in danger. The facts that we were no longer together and that I had been keeping my distance were completely irrelevant. I got out of my car and sprinted to her, stopping once she was safe, hardly noticing the downpour. She was surprised, naturally- so surprised that she dropped her gym bag- but now, with her protected behind me, my attention was focused on the Watcher. He hadn’t moved either closer or farther away from Keira while I had positioned myself between them. We were twenty feet from her Wrangler. “What do you want?”
A voice that I instantly recognized replied, “Some answers. That’s all.” Ira moved out of his relaxed pose against the Jeep. He was dressed in dark jeans, a white t-shirt, and some sneakers; he could have passed for an average teenager as long as he kept his shaggy brown hair positioned exactly as it was. Ira came a few steps closer in purposeful strides and continued talking over the rain, “I heard some things from Amir and so I came to the source for more information, Angel of Light. You know how I love to learn new things. And right now I want to know what’s so special about the girl- why you have been watching her. This whole situation intrigues me. Is there something I’m missing?” The answer, A conscience, came to mind, but I didn’t bother. He continued, “I came here for you to explain these things because not knowing is simply killing me.”
“Killing you, huh? Then I think I’ll keep my secrets, Watchful.” This was the Watcher whose very name meant what he was as well as his gift. Ira watched everything. With the information he gathered, he used to plot against his opposition. He could be thought of as the Azra of the other side, only Ira’s sight is evil, invasive, and unwelcome. “I’ll admit I’m surprised to find that you’re one of Amir’s new lackeys.” I told him. “What? He grew tired of swaying Nephilim with real talent and decided to settle for more of you like Arien- that ancient flunky of his who’s so irritatingly slippery?”
“Now now Uriel. I didn’t come here to exchange verbal blows.” Ira reached up and swept away some of the brown hair that had been barely covering one of his eyes. I heard Keira gasp behind me. In contrast to the blue one, the eye that now observed us was completely white. No matter how many times I came close to it, that eye always unnerved me. I recognized what he was doing, but with Keira there, I couldn’t defend myself from the violation I knew was taking place even though all I could feel was a slight tingling in the space behind my own eyes and the numbing, paralyzing effect on the rest of my body.
A slow smile spread across Ira’s face. He knew. “So, you and this human? I didn’t believe it when Amir told me, but now I must. Arien was too far away to support Amir’s accusation the other week when you were here with her, but now…” His voice was laced with mockery. Momentarily forgetting himself, Ira let his rough bangs fall into their previous shield, and I could feel my hands clenching into the fists they had strained for moments before.
Ira had only used his power once on me, a long time ago, and that was before I had known his talent. To gain insight and see glimpses of truth about what or who you look upon is not a power that I had ever willingly yielded to- until now. He went on, “You of all people, Uriel. I would have never fathomed that you, of all the Nephilim of the Light, would grow attached to a human.”
“Walk away,” I demanded through barred teeth. Ira was up to something, and although Keira had remained silent and still, I knew what the affects of coming into close contact with a Watcher are that usually afflict humans. Especially one as pure as her. That much evil when used in close proximity isn’t physically good for mortals. “You have obtained your answers. Now leave.”
“No.” His voice was smooth, almost happy, as he took a few more steps closer. Keeping alert for another attempt to reveal his eye, I regressed an equal distance to Ira’s, moving closer to Keira. As long as I still had breath left in me, he wasn’t getting near her. “Now that I know why you’re here, I feel it is my duty as a being of Chaos to ruin your enjoyment.” He came forward again. “I’m going to hurt you now, Angel of Light. And then, maybe, I’ll take your little mortal back to my friends, and they can have some fun with her.”
All the defensive tactics to be used were no longer possible to recollect. In a second, I lunged for Ira, but he had known that his last comment would get me to attack so he quickly dodged me. Expedited by my rage, I was on him before he could move again- although Ira’s a Nephilim the same as me, he’s no match for my physical power. One solid punch to his throat sent him sprawling back at least ten yards. While he scrapped across the pavement, Ira wheezed for the breath I had just knocked out of him. I would have finished him off then, but I was distracted. I heard Keira draw a sharp gasp and my first thought and concern was that I had missed something and she had been hurt in some way. I turned to her, and while I found that she had simply been reacting to the suddenness of the clash, Ira got up and slipped away. No doubt to inform the other Watchers of what had occurred and to get them prepared for battle. Ira was of no importance to me; he had always been a bombastic talker and never a good enough fighter to back his words up.
I returned my attention to Keira. She seemed to be in shock, and I couldn’t really blame her. It’s one thing to hear about something; it’s another to actually come face to face with evil using its power that close. “Are you alright?” I asked as her knees buckled. I caught and sat her down on the curb. She looked unusually pale as her eyelids closed against the images I imagined she was remembering.
Keira drew a deep, calming breath, opened her eyes to look into mine, and said steadily, “Yeah. I’m okay now.”
She never stopped surprising me. She was fine after encountering a Watcher in action for the first time. How? But she did seem to be at least physically well. She wasn’t shaking- that was good. Keira’s eyes were unfalteringly gazing into mine. Her brown hair was soaked and clinging to the sides of her face. I had a sudden and almost overwhelming urge to wipe it back, to feel her skin on mine. After almost three weeks of not being close to her, I felt my defenses weakening at our impulsive nearness.
I had to get out of there. I stood up and said in the practiced mechanical tone that I now always used with Keira, “Well, okay then. Go straight home from here. Don’t stop anywhere. He won’t come back tonight. Now that you’re safe…” I started off toward my car. I had been planning on taking a long and pointless drive that night, but maybe I’d just drive a little while until I’d gotten rid of these feelings and then go home and catch up on some overdue sleep. Of course, sleep had become hard to come by of late without unhelpful dreams intruding.
After I’d taken six steps away, K
eira shot up to her feet and started following me. “You can’t be serious!” She shouted at my back. After weeks of not speaking to me, her pent up anger seemed to be suddenly unleashed.
I stopped and slowly turned around. My short but intense conflict with Ira had put me in a mood that wasn’t up for a conflict with Keira right then. “What?” I sighed.
“You’re just going to walk away? After that? After the way you’ve been treating me!?! What’s your problem!?!”
“Keira,” I didn’t feel like getting worked up over this. The white, burning anger that had been summoned by the thought of Ira so much as touching her had been slaked when he scrapped across the parking lot and ran away with his tail between his legs. I was ready, or trying to be, to go back to not feeling anything. “You’re safe, and that’s all that matters.” I turned to leave again, but she kept on.
“No! That is not all that matters. I want an explanation!”
I stopped walking. “For what?”
“For all of the things that you never explained! For why you’ve been treating me like I have the plague or something! I thought everything was going great- or at least as great as things could be with you dodging half of my questions. But when I finally found out about your secret and what you hadn’t told me, you just stopped being there… You stopped being there, Uriel.” She was almost in tears. “I tried to wait and let you come to me, but you never did.” It was breaking my heart to see her so upset, but she simply couldn’t understand everything. And I couldn’t find the words to try to explain.
Her mood seemed to revert back to anger at my silence. Her tone was accusatory. “You shut down and became less of yourself. Why couldn’t you deal with things? Why didn’t you give me a chance to wrap my head around the circumstances? To accept the situation?”
“Because how can you accept the situation?” My fatigue was wearing off and all the carefully contained emotions that I had kept under lock and key for the last three weeks were struggling to be set free, to be unleashed as well and allowed to collide with Keira’s. “You found out what I am in spite of my best efforts! If I had had it my way, you wouldn’t have ever known. We could have gone on being happy if you hadn’t found out and been exposed around me.”
“Could have!? Why can’t I know everything and us still be happy?” She stopped yelling and compulsorily calmed herself again. “I always knew there was something you weren’t telling me. Now that I know about it, we can be honest with each other.”
She had no idea what she was saying. My anger remained intact but it was joined by hopeless incredulity. “Happy? How can you be happy with me now that you know?”
Keira shook her head. I thought she finally understood she had the wrong idea. But I was mistaken. “Now that I know you fight demons? It’s a bit frightening, but it’s what you do, so who am I to complain?”
This was getting ridiculous. I had to make her see. This had gone on long enough, and if she wasn’t comprehending, then I’d just have to spell it out for her. “Yes, I fight demons, but I also am a demon!” Now I was the only one yelling. “My father was Shamsiêl! One of the most powerful Watchers who came to Earth at the very beginning of time! Half of me is spawned from one of the evilest beings ever to exist! Do you understand now!?!”
She was silent for a lifetime. She just looked at me, and I saw that she was processing what I had said. “Okay. Your father was pure evil?” I nodded. “But you’re not,” she stated.
“Half,” I clarified. I had never told anyone those things. They either already knew or I just never talked about it. It’s not the sort of thing you bring up in casual conversation. Hey, why don’t we discuss lineage. I’ll go first. My daddy’s one of the biggest and worst damned souls that ever walked the earth. What’s your story? I don’t think so.
That was definitely something I had never wanted Keira to know about me.
“Just because your father was evil doesn’t mean you are.” Keira stepped toward me.
“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” She shook her head again and took another step. I let out an exasperated sigh. “Listen Keira. It’s better that you know because now you can understand that I’m no good for you. You’d always be in danger with me.”
“Maybe. But you took care of that guy with the one eye pretty well tonight,” she said lightly. Another step.
I was getting frustrated again. “No, Keira! Danger not only from the Watchers but from me as well! Do you remember what Amir said to your friend Elly that day? He told her to trust him. He used the exact words that I’ve asked of you over and over. How can you not see that I am half of what he is and that I can easily hurt others just like he does?”
“You’d never hurt anyone innocent,” she smiled. Sometimes, like then, I had to remind myself that she was only sixteen and didn’t know the extent of the evil in this world. Keira thought that good always triumphed over evil. Her naivety was part of her charm, but it was also dangerous. Life isn’t a movie. She needed an awakening. A rude one if necessary.
“I could hurt you,” I told her, lowering my voice, being dead serious.
“No,” she remained calm.
“I could, Keira. So easily.” By now, she was standing close enough to touch. I reached out and stretched my hand around her neck, pressing slightly. The rain could have possibly given her an advantage if I was mortal. A human hand could be somewhat slippery on a wet neck. But I’m not human. And she couldn’t run from me even if she tried.
“Okay, maybe you could,” she allowed. “But you won’t.” With her eyes locked onto mine, I amazingly saw no fear in hers. When she reached up, not out of defense but as a caress, my hand lowered helplessly. Reality was inaccessible with her. There was more than one reason why I had stayed away. I felt another sigh escape my lips as I turned from Keira and started back for my car.
She heaved a sigh of her own and started for me again. Persistent mortal. “What is this? A game!?!” Her irritated voice was back up to the volume I hadn’t heard out of her since our first date.
“You just don’t understand.” I kept walking.
Then she asked a question in a tone that made me think she must have thought of it many times before. “What are you afraid of?” she screamed at me.
I jerked to a stop and reared around. “I fear nothing!” I yelled right back.
“Ugh, males’ arrogance still astounds me,” she said, disgusted, as she turned around and took a step away from me.
This was a change. After she had fearlessly looked in my eyes as I pored out my soul and deepest and most definitely darkest secrets, I couldn’t bear to see her go. Maybe this was a game- a game of cat and mouse. But who was which, I couldn’t tell.
At that moment, I realized that I couldn’t lie to myself any more. I reached out, pulled her back, and gently made her face me again. “It’s not my pride,” I explained in a softer tone. I hadn’t told anyone what I was about to tell her, but I had to get it out or it would eat me alive. She had to know. And she had miraculously stayed with me through everything I had said up until then. So I unveiled, “I am afraid, but not of what you think.” She gazed back at me beseechingly; she wanted to understand. So I went on, “I face and conquer pure evil as a way of living, and you come along and in one day you have my heart and soul. You scare me because you are the only being that has the means to truly hurt me. After thousands of years of surviving this world, I began to think I was untouchable, but you have me. You are the only one who makes me feel vulnerable in any way.” She seemed to finally comprehend. She looked up into my eyes and I couldn’t believe what I was seeing; I saw complete acceptance and trust.
“Uriel,” she spoke softly, “you already have me. I’ve already made myself vulnerable to you, and you haven’t done anything but make me happier and happier… well, not including our time apart…” She grinned impishly. “Trust me. Let me in,” she pleaded.
I was so tired of always watching myself and thinking that I knew what was best for h
er- I’ve been wrong about some things before- tired of always keeping her at an arm’s length. Right then, while I was holding Keira in my embrace and looking into those emerald eyes, how could I push her away?
“I’m in love with you.”
Utter Perfection
Chapter 17
Keira
“Uriel, I-” But I wasn’t allowed to finish. With my last word, Uriel had leaned in and was kissing me. He tasted unbelievably sweet. This was what I had waited so long for. The kiss only lasted a second, and I was left aching. “-am in love with you too,” I finished when I could.
To my dismay, Uriel removed his arms from around my waist. “I don’t want to pressure you into anything.”
He was amazing- and not in a good way this time. “Uriel.” He was going to listen to me even if I had to force him. He needed to get it through that thick, beautiful skull of his that I wasn’t walking away this time. “I. Am. In. Love. With. You. I have been for a long time now, and you’re not going to change that.” He fixed me with those irrepressible stormy eyes; he was searching for some lie in my words to come out in my face, but he wouldn’t find any. “Stop fighting me,” I told him. “Stop fighting us.” My left hand lifted and came to rest on his chest. I slid it up him to lightly touch the exposed skin at the base of his neck, remembering the feel of his fingers around mine. I never felt safer than when I was with Uriel- even when we were yelling at each other. With my right hand, I did what I had wanted to do since the first time I’d seen him. I intertwined my fingers in the small, golden curls that ended his now otherwise wavy and soaking wet hair.
Oh, it felt so good to not be careful of what I did around him. He had told me he loved me, and there could be no retraction of such a declaration. He was mine. And I wanted another kiss. I drew a breath as I moved for his lips, but I didn’t have to go very far. Uriel met me halfway, and this time, there was no hesitation. Within seconds, his arms were back around my waist, but this time they were strong in pulling me close to him. His actions from then on were unrestrained and fearless.
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