Once I barged through the second floor’s door and turned to face the hallway, the first thing I saw was the one person I had been impatiently waiting to get to all morning, ever since he slipped out of my bed. Uriel was wearing that radiant smile that seemed to have been reserved for after I said yes to our engagement. My body started floating toward him without needing a command from my brain. He started walking toward me as well, but before either of us could touch, Odeda popped up in between us.
“Keira,” she squealed, almost an exact duplicate of the ones I had made into my pillow but with one difference- she made it loudly and in the middle of the crowded hallway. Heads turned but I wasn’t thinking about them for long. Pretty soon I was thinking Ow, ow ow ow, ouch! because Odeda was squeezing me too tightly in another of her over-excited hugs.
“In pain,” I forced through my grimacing lips.
“Right, I forgot.” She loosened her hold and I was able to wind my numb arms around her shoulders, reciprocating her hug. “We’re going to be sisters!” she squealed again.
Before I could say anything back, I felt another arm encircle me from the side, its owner’s booming laughter giving his identity away. Zev had supposedly walked over to us while I’d been distractedly wincing, and now he was joining our hug. I couldn’t suppress a surprised gasp when he lifted both Odeda and me into the air and held us there for several seconds. Not at all a suspiciously inhuman show of strength, I thought sarcastically. Then again, he is pretty burly.
At this higher vantage point, I could see Dagan bobbing up and down a few feet from us. He gave me a thumbs up and I grinned in response. Azra was also visible, standing beside Uriel. As courtly and calm as ever, the guild’s leader smiled and looked with quiet approval of me and familial amusement as Zev sat an uncharacteristically ruffled Odeda and an unbalanced me down.
Uriel was at my side with a hand on my elbow before I could sway embarrassingly around the hallway like a drunken fool. “I guess you told them,” I inferred.
“I hope that’s alright. I couldn’t keep the good news to myself any longer than the time it took me to drive home.”
“Of course it’s alright,” I barely got out before Odeda was in front of me once more.
“I’d demand to see the ring, but I was told there isn’t one yet.” The little blond Nephilim looked disapprovingly at Uriel.
“Well Odeda,” I started. “There can’t really be a ring right now because no one’s supposed to know- aside from the family of course- and a ring on the third finger of my left hand would kind of give it away, don’t you think?”
“What’s wrong with giving it away?” Then she lowered her voice conspiratorially when she said, “Are you ashamed of marrying Uriel because I would totally understand if you are.” Then she smiled at her perfect blond brother innocently.
Uriel rolled his eyes. I told her, “No, I’m just too young right now.”
“Juliet Capulet got married at thirteen,” Odeda stated as evidence to the contrary.
“Juliet wasn’t real,” I pointed out. “And besides, this isn’t the sixteenth century; there are laws about marriage before eighteen.” Not to mention I would never go for Romeo. I honestly never understood why he was considered so great.
Odeda waved away my reasoning. “Laws shmaws. You need a ring.”
“No, I don’t.” I looked at Uriel. “No ring.”
“Not yet,” he agreed.
I looked back at my future sister-in-law. “And no announcements, Odeda. Our classmates cannot know about this.”
“Fine, but once the battle’s over, the whole family’s going out to celebrate.”
And just like that, my good mood sank down into melancholy insubordination. The battle- an event that I was dreading even more than my Coming Out Ceremony- was to occur within a few days between the best family I had ever known and one of the best friends I had ever had.
The eight o’clock bell rang and we all went to our homerooms. For the rest of the day, I didn’t speak to any of them other than to repeat that I wanted the battle to never happen, that Elly wasn’t bad, or that if they insisted on going to confront her, then I should be there as well. The responses I received were the same from the evening before. Zev was going to wait to hear from the eagles that afternoon and then the guild was going to make their plans more specific.
After school let out and I flunked a Spanish test I had forgotten about until a few minutes before class, Uriel invited me to come over after my practice to wait with the family for the news. I told him I couldn’t and then walked into the gym before he was able say anything else.
All throughout practice, I worked myself up over how no one was listening to me about Elly. My coach had to practically force me to stay still during after-practice stretches. As I was walking out of the gym, Zev was entering for the guy’s turn to be on the court. “Come on, Zev,” I pleaded for the umpteenth time. “I just have to talk to her before you start trying to destroy my friend.”
“She was my friend too, Keira. But she’s not the same person we knew from before. Elly chose Amir and his sect.”
“I have to be at that battle Zev.”
A whistle blew behind my back and Zev looked over me toward its blower. “A battle’s no place for you, Keira.” He looked back at me again and grinned wryly, making me want to punch him. “Silly mortal, battles are for Nephilim. I gotta go.” He patted my shoulder twice and ran off to start warm-ups.
I drove home, going fifteen over the speed limit, on purpose, and then I boxed out my frustrations. Guess whose faces I was picturing while I punched and kicked the bag?... Okay, no, not their faces. But I was punching Uriel’s words… and Zev’s: Silly mortal, battles are for Nephilim. What the hell was that? Like I couldn’t take care of myself?
Maria came into my fitness room four times in two hours to tell me that Uriel was on the phone asking for me. After I told her that even though we weren’t in a real fight, I still didn’t want to talk to him that night, she stopped offering the telephone.
Jerry heated up leftovers for me at eight o’clock and then joined Maria and me for a movie that we watched in complete silence while Mother and Dad worked in their home offices.
Tuesday morning, I was informed that the eagles had reported that the same four immortals had been at the same spot as before so that meant the guild was absolutely going to battle. Great. I was also told the battle was to take place the day after next so they were all leaving Thursday morning to get there around mid-day. Doubly fan-freaking-tastic.
I might have been being a little too stubborn when I shunned Uriel and his family for the rest of the day, but I didn’t really care. How could they not understand that fighting Elly was horrible? She was temporarily misguided. That didn’t mean they had to threaten to hurt her!
Wednesday, I walked up to Uriel before homeroom and reminded him firmly, “You swore you would let me decide what I can do and handle. And I decide that I can handle going to talk to Elly before all hell breaks loose.”
Uriel looked on me wearily. “I meant about all things but Nephilim business. You don’t know much about Chaos, and that night when Ira confronted me in the parking lot is nothing compared to what Amir is capable of… That expression you used- before all hell breaks loose- is closer to reality than you know. I’m sorry, Keira, but you’re staying here.”
♀ ♀ ♀ ♀ ♀
As you can guess, my mood did not improve for the rest of the day. I refused to say goodbye to any of my adopted siblings or my angel and instead dodged them all somehow and went straight to basketball once school let out. It didn’t help my mood any when my coach uncharacteristically decided to cut our practice short that day, leaving me with energy to burn and anger to vent. So instead of going to hang out at the family’s house for a few hours, like I would have done any other week, I drove home and immediately changed into a bathing suit and grabbed a towel and a pair of goggles.
After two hours of swimming in every method I knew how an
d taking a couple laps doing each, I stepped out of my indoor pool prune-y from head to toe, starving, and blessedly dog-tired. I was requested to join Mother and Father for super, so I took a five-minute shower and drug myself into the dining room. After a disapproving looking-over by my mother at my sweats and t-shirt and a few questions about school and basketball from Dad, the meal passed relatively wordlessly.
Long sigh- home sweet home.
Surprisingly enough, I didn’t have any nightmares that night about the people I love murdering each other. Maybe it was the swimming fatigue.
♀ ♀ ♀ ♀ ♀
Thursday morning, I woke up to my senses. I’d lost them over the previous couple of days, but that morning, I found them there on my pillow the second I woke up- maybe even the second before. And what I found was that I had been suppressing fear, and that that fear had never lessened or evaporated while I was busy ignoring my vibrating cell phone or ducking out of the high school doors as soon as the three o’clock bell rang or telling Maria that no, I did not want to talk to Uriel, because the truth is that my fear had been storing itself up, deep in my gut, waiting for the worst moment to surface.
I wasn’t used to feeling fear; I wasn’t used to feeling anything before he came into my life. And ever since he walked in, I felt so many things. But never fear, at least not this forcibly before. Now, I was afraid for him, afraid for my feelings- which is what he is; he’s my feelings. Without Uriel, I don’t feel anything. I can’t be truly angry unless it’s because of him; I can’t be truly happy unless it’s because of him. He was the source of my most powerful feelings.
He was my feelings.
And that morning, my feelings was setting off with his family to engage in a misguided battle. Why had I been so stupid and stubborn that I hadn’t even said goodbye, be safe? Just because I didn’t agree with the reason for the battle didn’t mean I wanted any of the family to get hurt in it.
I snatched my cell off the bedside table and speed-dialed the family’s house.
One ring… Two… Three… Four… And then I heard Odeda sounding inappropriately cheerful as she told me to leave a message after the beep.
I hung up immediately and indulged in what I already knew would be a vain attempt to get to Uriel- I called his cell phone number. I listened to the infinite rings as I rushed out of bed and started ripping a uniform from a hanger in my closet. Of course, there was no answer on the other end of the phone and I impatiently listened to a pre-set voice tell me to leave a message. “Call me, please,” was all I said before hanging up.
After I jerked on my clothes, found some shoes and a jacket, raked a toothbrush over my teeth and a hairbrush through my hair, I grabbed my backpack, got in my Wrangler, and raced to school. No answer at the house meant he wasn’t there, but maybe, just maybe, he would come to school and offer some kind of note to excuse all five absences. When I crashed into the front doors of the high school building, the receptionist at the front desk gave me a severe look. I ran up to her and gasped to know if Uriel Gray or anyone else had been there with a leave of absence note that morning.
“Yes,” she answered sharply. “He brought by a note twenty minutes ago. Now get to class; the late bell is about to sound.”
I obeyed and made my way to homeroom in a state of disbelief. Uriel was gone off to battle the creeper and there wasn’t anything I could do about it. How was that fair? I’d missed him by twenty minutes. That wasn’t fair either. It’s not my fault my brain had chosen to start working properly at the last minute- aka that morning- and made me later than I could have been because I had to take all of that precious time to sort through my mental gunk.
By the end of homeroom, I decided I was going to Glade Valley whether I had to screech my tires in my escape from the school’s parking lot or just sign out without a reason. There was no way I could leave things the way they were and leave Elly with that monster. I walked out of homeroom and toward the hall to the front desk, but stopped after taking a few steps.
“Uriel?” I asked, not trusting my eyes.
“Are you talking to me now?”
There was no way in a million years I wouldn’t recognize that voice, and wishful thinking could not duplicate it that perfectly.
I closed the space between us and, ignoring PDA rules, threw my arms around my angel’s neck. “I’m so sorry! I should have never left yesterday without seeing you! I was angry and stubborn and not thinking straight at all. I can’t believe you’re still here. When I woke up this morning I was so scared that something was going to happen to you.”
“Everything will be fine, I promise,” Uriel said by my ear.
“Miss Fairchild. Mr. Gray. Separate this instant,” Mr. Pollard instructed with his head poking out of the door to his classroom.
We let go of each other, but didn’t really move apart.
“Where are the others?” I asked.
“Waiting in the car. They send their wishes that you will stop needlessly worrying.”
“So am I totally blowing this out of proportion or are you all understating everything because it’s your “job” and you’re just used to danger?”
Uriel hesitated but then said, “Both. But mostly you are blowing the situation out of proportion.”
“Of course I am,” I muttered as the bell rang, indicating first period had begun and everyone was suppose to be in their classes.
“I’ll let you get back to your day,” Uriel said as he fit his palm to my cheek. “I will see you later tonight after everything’s taken care of. We can go out wherever you like.”
“And I’m supposed to go through seven hours of school, two more of practice, and however many more at home waiting to see if you’re coming back?”
“Out of proportion, Keira,” he reminded me. “All will be well, you’ll see. But I really do have to be going. We have a few last minute preparations to make.”
Uriel kissed me and told me he loved me as he moved to walk away like he was going off for a short vacation with his family instead of a battle.
Oh my goodness. My mind started reeling. What if something happens?
“Uriel, no,” I choked out.
Tears started coming unbidden. I tried to collect myself, but every time I closed my eyes, I saw a horrific image behind them. And the more deep breaths I attempted, the more jagged my exhale sounded.
My angel had turned at his name and walked back to me in the empty hallway. My tears poured over when Uriel pulled me to him and held me once more. “I can’t image… what if… damn it.” I cried into his chest for a few moments before I actually remembered that this was not my usual behavior. Why do these tears keep coming? What’s wrong with me? “I never used to cry in front of people,” I admitted as my breathing became even. “I never wanted anyone, especially you, to think I’m weak. But I can’t help it right now.”
Uriel stroked my hair and told me, “There is nothing about you that is weak in my eyes. You’re one of the strongest people I know. And remember,” he added, “I know Odeda, and she can beat anyone in an arm wrestle.”
I laughed once through my silent tears. “Right.”
“There’s nothing wrong with crying, Keira,” he told me softly.
“The only time I used to cry was when I was alone in my room, the door was locked, there was a box of Kleenex by my bed that was waiting for me, and there was a really sad movie playing on my television. But now…”
Uriel chuckled; it was a glum laugh.
I pulled back to wipe my tears away and to look at him. There was a single tear falling down his glowing cheek.
“I love you,” I told him.
“I don’t know why.”
“You don’t know?” I asked once my face was clear of tears. “Well then clearly you have some sort of memory loss or brain damage- I don’t think you can battle anybody if you have brain damage or memory loss-”
“Keira-”
I kept on babbling because I didn’t know what else to do. “Maybe
we should take you to a doctor and run lots of time-consuming tests to see what’s wrong with-”
“Keira,” Uriel said more firmly.
I stopped then.
He stated, “Everything will be fine.” I nodded, not seeing at all how everything could be fine but maybe if I acted like it would, then somehow he’d be right. “I love you and I will come back to you.” That part I had to believe or else the world would crumble beneath my feet. “I have to go. I’ll see you later tonight, love.”
I was stuck in mind and body as Uriel kissed me one more time on my forehead, told me another quick I love you, and turned around to walk out of the building.
How could he do that? How could he walk away from me and toward some kind of horrible battle that I still couldn’t seem to wrap my mind around? He didn’t even look back. Once he disappeared and there wasn’t a golden wave of his hair still visible, I lost it.
I started to run after him. I had to tell him not to go, that I wouldn’t let him, that he had to stay with me because it was bad enough when I thought he didn’t want me anymore but I could still see him every day at school, but if something happened and he never came back, I didn’t think I was strong enough to survive such a blow. In fact, I was pretty fricken positive I’d fade away into complete nothingness without him.
I only ran a couple of steps before URIEL materialized a few paces in front of me with a bam, a pow, and a flash. I’d forgotten about him saying he’d be around to watch over me. He stood there, all tall and holy looking with his stone-cold gray eyes peering right into mine. I knew he had been told to stop me but I couldn’t be stopped. I was Keira Fairchild, and Fairchilds don’t let obstacles stand in their way. So I attempted to side-step the intimidating being while still running. He took one stride over and blocked my way again, but I was in full motion and ran right into him. I would have fallen backward if URIEL hadn’t caught my arms and held me upright.
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