by Bianca D’Arc
She was perplexed by the concept. “How can there be five Alphas in one Clan?”
Bob actually smiled, confusing her further. “Oh, there’s a lot more than just the five of us. We’re all cougars, but there are Alphas for every group of shifters under our banner. The Redstone Clan is probably the largest in North America. It takes all five of us just to keep the business running and the Clan matters sorted out. The four younger brothers act as Grif’s deputies in different aspects of running both the Clan and the business.”
“You’re one of those Redstones?” Serena’s eyes widened. She’d just realized the kind cougar she was unaccountably attracted to was in essence, shifter royalty. Or the next thing to it.
She was totally out of her depth. Panicked, she stood. Fight or flight had set in, and she’d never been one to fight back much. She wanted to run away, but the man who’d been so relaxed a moment ago was now standing in front of her, his hands on her shoulders.
“It’s okay, Serena. I’ve got you. You’re all right.”
How did he know to say those things? How had he guessed she needed comfort and reassurance?
She looked up at him, knowing he’d see the confused fear in her gaze. “Why are you being so nice to me? I’m nothing. Not worthy of an Alpha’s notice. Especially not an Alpha of your standing. This is a mistake. I have to go.” The whispered words were torn from her heart as she tried again to flee, but he held her still with just a simple pressure on her shoulders. Not hurting. Not really holding. Just asking wordlessly for her to stay. Overriding the fear to some extent. At least enough to allow her to stay for a few more minutes.
“You are the most worthy female I have ever met. The most worthy of my respect and regard. The most worthy of my concern and protection. The Mother of All wasn’t making a mistake when She allowed our paths to cross, kitten. I believe that with all my heart. I hope someday soon, you will too.”
Chapter Three
The fear in her eyes brought out all of Bob’s protective instincts, and they were considerable. Being Alpha meant protecting the weak and helping those who needed help. It was important to him to get to the bottom of her problem and put an end to it, but he sensed he’d have to tread carefully with the skittish female.
The fact that she had wanted him to put on the swim trunks was odd. Most shifters were comfortable with nudity. It was a fact of life when you had to get naked to shapeshift.
Something had made this little female uncomfortable with skin. What he didn’t know was the extent of her problem. Was it just males that she objected to seeing in the buff? Just Alpha males? Someone who might pose a physical threat?
The thought made his blood run cold. If some sick bastard had hurt this little wildcat, he was going to answer to Bob sooner rather than later.
But she’d also refused to shapeshift in front of him and chosen to meet him tonight in her human form, fully dressed. Maybe it wasn’t just male nudity she was uncomfortable with. Still, it was damned odd and very worrying. Bob did his best not to let his anger show.
She had said something about not having always lived among shifters. He needed to know more about that, but he sensed she would run if he started to interrogate her about her past. He had to tread lightly and figure out why a beautiful little bobcat was so uncomfortable in her own human skin.
“Why don’t you sit back down and we’ll talk. We can eat the rest of those delicious pastries. My Clan is far away and I’m a guest here, just like you. We’re equal, here in this forest, next to this pond. Just two cats, enjoying the evening breeze.” He tried his best to sweet talk her into calming down and sticking around. He’d stopped her headlong flight away from him, but he had to coax her to choose to stay.
She looked like she was softening as some of the panic left her gaze. He cupped her shoulders, stroking gently. He wasn’t holding her. Not really. His touch wasn’t meant to confine or restrict, but rather to comfort. She seemed to understand the difference, which was definitely a step in the right direction.
“You’re an Alpha. You’re a Redstone Alpha. Even my Clan up in the mountains knew about the Redstones,” she whispered.
“I’m a Redstone and I’m an Alpha, but that doesn’t mean much here.” He looked around the dark forest. “All I see here is you and me. A girl and a guy. A box of pastries. A moonlit night. And a pond full of tasty fish.”
He lifted his hands off her shoulders, taking the chance she would flee, but she remained stationary, looking up at him. He started to breathe again. He still had a chance.
“Why don’t we sit down,” he invited again, gently. “Of all my brothers, I’m the most talkative. Ask anyone. Being cooped up alone in that little cabin is hard on me. I’m a very social cat who feels very much the outsider here in the Lords’ territory.”
She took a deep breath and nodded, resuming her seat with slow, deliberate movements. He sat a short distance away, not wanting to crowd her. He felt like they were making progress.
“It gets better, once they get to know you a bit,” she offered. “When I first got here, I wasn’t sure of my welcome, but everyone here is really nice. The ladies at the Pack house have sort of taken me under their wing—or paw, might be more accurate.” She smiled a little at her own pun and the simple gesture enchanted him.
“I had lunch at the Pack house with Rocky today,” he said, keeping the conversation light and innocuous.
“I know,” she surprised him by saying. “I was baking these…” she offered him the box of pastries again, “…in the kitchen while you were there. The ladies were speculating about who you were and why Rocky had chosen to bring you to the Pack house. He usually takes his meals with his family.”
“I suspect it was to protect his cubs from me—the big, bad stranger.” Bob scowled in a humorous way that made her laugh. He was fast learning he’d do just about anything to hear that sound of joy fall from her too-serious lips.
“I don’t think he meant anything by it. He’s just super protective of his mate. I’ve heard she’s human,” Serena added.
“The giant grizzly fell for a human girl? Well now, that’s interesting. Of course, I’m no one to talk. Three of my brothers have gotten hitched recently and each one found an exceptional woman who wasn’t quite what we expected.”
“Really?” She seemed curious, so he elaborated, hoping to set her more at ease.
“Grif’s mate, Lindsey, was the granddaughter of a Native shaman. She was raised among humans but through some pretty intense magic and a little divine intervention, she became a cougar. According to Grif it surprised the heck out of them both. She’s been learning how to handle her claws for a while now. She’s getting the hang of it, but it’s still kind of fun to watch. She’s like a full-grown kitten, just learning how to walk sometimes.” He chuckled remembering.
He liked Lindsey a lot. Nobody could fill his dead mother’s shoes, of course, but Lindsey was carving out her own place as a new kind of matriarch for the Clan. She had a kind heart and she made Grif happy, which was the main thing. Bob liked seeing his family in good spirits—something that had become difficult for the brothers to achieve since the murder of their mother.
Little by little though, as the older ones found mates, the debilitating sadness was beginning to lift. They’d already gotten justice for their mother. They’d tracked down the killers and made them pay. Now it was just a matter of healing the holes in their hearts where their beloved mother had been. Three of them had found mates in the last year, which Bob counted as a blessing.
“Then Steve managed to find a mate with some pretty amazing powers. She’s part water sprite, though she was raised mostly in the human world. She was unaware of shifters until she met Steve, actually. It’s been fun to see her becoming comfortable with all the magic in our Clan, and in the world in general. She’s a very powerful woman who has no airs about her amazing abilities. And she loves my brother a lot. It’s good to see that kind of bond between them. Gives the rest of us hope.”
Bob smiled and he knew he probably looked wistful. He meant every word.
“And then there’s Mag,” Bob went on. “He just brought a whole new weirdness into the family by mating with a vampiress. It’s not generally known, but it’s not quite the secret it had been. Still, their mating was Goddess-blessed. The priestess and her mate said so. I believe it. I’ve never seen Mag like that with any woman, and it’s obvious Miranda would do anything for him. They have a really strong bond.”
“That sounds both strange and wonderful. I thought cougars as highly ranked as you and your brothers would only mate with other cougars,” Serena said in a quiet voice.
“Apparently the Mother of All has other ideas.” Bob made a respectful sign toward the heavens. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot, actually. Maybe it’s because our Clan is so diverse. Or maybe it’s because Grif is the Clan Alpha. He mated a cougar—albeit a newly minted one—and the rest of us are more or less free to go where the wind takes us. Or maybe I’m full of it. I have no idea why things have worked out the way they have, but I can’t complain. My brothers are happy. Their mates are happy. The Clan is happy. That’s the important thing.” He shrugged.
“And what would make you happy?” she asked unexpectedly. He looked at her, his eyes narrowing in thought.
“I suppose the same things that make most men happy. A good job—which I already have. A purpose in life. Again, something I’ve got thanks to my family. A loving home life. A mate. That’s something that’s eluded me up ‘til now, but I have high hopes.” He winked at her and loved the way she blushed in response. His little wildcat was shy, but not unresponsive to him. That was a step in the right direction as far as he was concerned. “What about you?”
She paused, seeming to think before she answered. “I just want peace.”
“The peace-of-mind kind of peace, or the world peace kind?” he pushed.
She looked at him, her gaze direct and sincere. “Peace of mind,” she replied with no hesitation, though her voice was soft.
They talked softly there by the small pond, long into the night. Bob had a gentle spirit despite his Alpha nature. Or maybe it was because of his strong nature that he recognized the need to be gentle with her. Whatever it was, the big cougar put her bobcat at ease over the hours that followed.
They talked of inconsequential things as well as important things, in a general way. She told him a little bit about the places she’d lived and where she’d grown up. Bob opened up to her a little more about his family and it was clear to her that he loved his brothers and surviving sister deeply.
“Our mother was murdered not too long ago, so it’s good to see my older brothers overcoming that and finding joy again in their lives, and their new mates.”
He sounded so wistful, the look in his eyes so far away, she felt the need to reach out to him. She touched his hand where it rested on the rock a foot away from her. He hadn’t moved too much closer over the time they’d talked and she’d liked that he’d respected her unspoken boundaries. But now she wanted the small contact. She wanted him to know she felt for him.
“I lost my parents when I was very young,” she admitted in a quiet voice. She seldom shared this painful part of her past with anyone, but she recognized the same loss in his eyes as she still felt in her heart when she thought about the loving bobcat shifters she remembered from her early childhood—so different from what had come after.
Bob accepted her sympathy with a sad smile and turned his hand around, grasping hers lightly. They held hands and watched the water ripple in the pond as fish nibbled at leafy plants near the surface.
“I’m sorry,” he said after a time, and she felt the real meaning behind his simple words. “Losing a parent is an especially difficult pain. It changes you and your life is never quite the same. We lost our dad a long time before our mother was taken from us. That was really hard, but mom was there. We were strong for her and she was always there for us as we took over the running of the Clan and the family business. Grif took the brunt of the responsibility as eldest, but we all helped. And mom was the best matriarch our Clan has ever seen. She grieved for our dad for the rest of her life, but she didn’t let her sorrow take her away from her family or her Clan, and everyone loved her for her dedication and care.”
“She sounds like an amazing woman,” Serena offered. “I’m sorry I’ll never get to meet her. She sounds a lot like I remember my mother being, though I was really too little to remember much. I just remember her warmth and acceptance. And so much love it could fill the world. It did fill my world. Until I was about six years old.” Her thoughts turned dark, remembering when everything had changed.
“What happened?” Bob’s question was direct but oddly, it didn’t feel like he was prying.
It felt more as if he was commiserating. He’d shared his sorrow and it felt right to tell him of her own experience. It had never felt so right to share such personal thoughts with anyone before. Bob was just easy to talk to and he really listened. Just listened and didn’t judge.
“We were on a road trip from the Oregon coast, where we lived, to somewhere east, where I believe my father was from. The roads are very steep in those mountains, and a poorly loaded tractor trailer lost control and hit us. I don’t remember much except the scream of metal and the horrible smell of burning tires and then I was in the air, thrown clear. I landed in the grass and was fine except for some bumps and bruises from when I was thrown from the car. My parents weren’t as lucky. They were stuck inside and couldn’t break free. The car rolled over and over…”
Bob squeezed her hand gently, taking her out of the memory and back to the pond and the quiet forest night. She was grateful for the distraction and smiled her thanks at him. Only then did she realize her face was wet with tears.
So many tears. So many years. The childhood trauma still had the power to make her cry, even after all this time. And what had come after was even worse.
She used her free hand to brush at her cheeks, a little self conscious, but Bob didn’t say anything. He just held her hand and offered his silent support. He was solid in the night. Secure.
At least he made her feel that way. Which was something entirely new in her experience. She hadn’t felt safe in a male’s presence in…well…probably since the accident that had made her an orphan.
“The car exploded and I knew my parents were gone. Rescue crews came and someone picked me up and wrapped a scratchy blanket around me. I think it was a police officer. And then they took me to a hospital, but I wasn’t really hurt. A lady from social services came and they put me with a foster family while they tried to find relatives. All they had was our address on the coast and we didn’t have kin there. I was too little to know details, so when their inquiries failed to find relatives, I ended up in the foster care system. I was raised among humans for several years. After a while, I wasn’t really sure what I remembered about my mother and father being able to turn into bobcats was real. The other kids’ parents didn’t turn into animals and the adults all seemed to think my little make-believe stories were cute, and maybe a little scary. Eventually, I stopped telling them and just accepted that nobody I knew now could change the way I remembered.”
“I’m sorry you had such a tough time of it, kitten.” Bob’s voice was full of compassion and understanding. He was a good listener and she found herself telling him things she never expected to share with anyone else.
“I spent my formative years among humans and learned their ways, but eventually I was discovered and adopted by a couple from the Cascade Clan.”
“That must’ve been quite a change to go from the human world back into our world after so long.”
“Yeah. It was a shock at first. Suddenly, these strange, yet familiar-smelling people—bobcats—were there, adopting me and taking me away to live with them. I thought it was going to be so great, but little by little, it turned kind of ugly. Jack was nothing like I remember my father being. And his mate wasn’t the mot
herly sort at all. I think she hated me from the beginning. The human family I’d lived with had been so much nicer, willing to let me grieve. They’d been supportive even when they thought I was a little weird compared to the human kids.”
She knew Bob had to be surprised by what she’d been through. Most shifters were, when they heard her story. She’d heard it wasn’t really normal for a shifter cub to be raised by humans, even for a little while. Most shifter groups kept track of their children, absorbing them into other shifter families if something happened to their parents.
“Jack always said he thought my time among humans weakened me. And the fact that I was a late bloomer shifting-wise didn’t help.”
“What happened at your first shift?” he asked quietly.
She’d learned since coming here that the first shift was tough for most species of shifters. It also came at different times depending on the level of magic they had. Some—like bear cubs—shifted almost from the very beginning. Most other species didn’t shift for the first time until puberty, or thereabouts.
“I didn’t shift until I was seventeen. My cat had been dying to get out and run for years, but my human side was really confused and scared of what it would mean among the Cascade Clan. Eventually though, the cat would no longer be denied and I shifted all of a sudden. One of the other kids was teasing me and I wanted to run. My bobcat wanted to run too and it let loose, forcing the shift that had been so delayed and…” she trailed off, remembering.
“Let me guess. You ran.” Bob’s dry tone made her chuckle, as he’d no doubt intended, and the mood lightened.
He was good at that. Good at gauging her mood and doing things—little things—to alleviate the more somber times. Even on such short acquaintance, he already knew how to read her.
“My cat tasted freedom and didn’t want to go back. I didn’t either, really. But I had to, eventually. I faced the music and to my surprise, it was the one time that Jack didn’t disapprove of what I’d done. He was actually kind of nice about it and let me off without punishment. I was so green, but after that, my bobcat knew what to do and it helped me through the first few months. When I turned eighteen, Jack wanted me to go to work for the Clan, but that’s a whole other story.”