by Lee Kilraine
Thank goodness they finally arrived back at Kaz’s. She needed to head to bed and forget this craziness. Sleep it off. Ignore it. And focus a bit harder on helping Kaz get another date in the hopes he’d stop being such a temptation to her.
“Well, that was fun.” Mira kicked off her shoes and gave an exaggerated yawn. “Gosh, I’m tired. I think I’ll call it a night. Good night, Kaz.”
“Oh, sure. ’Night.”
She left him standing by the front door with a frown wrinkling his brow.
It wasn’t that she was trying to be rude, but if they did their normal routine of drinking a cup of herbal tea in the kitchen together she was going to jump him. Not a good idea. At all. Even though a big part of her—well, all her female parts—wanted to head right back into the kitchen and make the idea of virtual sex totally unnecessary.
Closing herself into her room with a sigh, she showered and brushed her teeth while she ran all the reasons getting involved with Kaz was a very bad idea. As always, at the top of her list was her bad judgment.
Her history with men had her second-guessing herself. Even if Vi’s theory were true that she’d been subconsciously picking the wrong men, that track record had left its mark on her heart to the point where she was confused about what she wanted, let alone what she needed.
Throwing on the oversize T-shirt she slept in, she slipped between the sheets of her bed and commanded her brain to cease and desist. Lying on her back, eyes closed, she began counting herself to sleep. When she arrived at 329 she gave up.
She tried the relaxation technique Kaz had used, placing herself on a warm, sandy beach and letting the ocean waves work their way up her muscles. But instead of helping her relax, each lap of the water had her aroused body tingling.
It didn’t help that she still had Kaz’s voice in her head . . . Arousal. Orgasm. Release. Satisfaction. Pleasure. Every nerve ending tingled. Blood rushed and heat surged like a volcano bubbling toward eruption. Like a nuclear reactor before meltdown. Like something had to give or she’d go crazy.
Too late. Because she pushed back her covers and did the craziest, stupidest thing she could do. She went looking for arousal, orgasm, release, satisfaction, and pleasure. That’s right. She went to Kaz’s room.
Chapter Eighteen
Kaz lay stretched out on his bed wide awake and fully aroused. So maybe asking Mira to attend the panel discussion with him hadn’t been a wise choice. It was one thing to discuss sex in a room full of people. That he could handle. But discuss sex with Mira after everything they’d already shared and his growing fascination with her? He should have known it was a bad idea before he’d issued the invitation.
Sex was almost all he could think about on the thirty-minute car ride home. Mira had talked about the sex and romance panel for almost the whole time, her excitement palpable and infectious. But with his eyes on the road in the dark of his truck, her smoky voice had played up and down his spine and had him on edge. A very thin edge. He’d been close to pulling his truck over to the side of the road to offer her a demonstration of each and every step in the sexual arousal process.
The panel discussion on sex and romance was only part of it. The sad fact was, he’d enjoyed walking around the conference with her too. Normally he left after a panel appearance or a short autograph signing, but it was fun seeing the gaming world through her fresh, new-gamer eyes.
Yes, he really liked Mira. And if he wasn’t sexually attracted to her, it wouldn’t be a problem. But he was, and that was the last thing a woman in her situation needed. Her world had been rocked and she had yet to get her feet on a stable footing. She needed his help, not his hard-on.
Recovery from what she was going though was going to be a long journey, and he could see how unwanted advances from him would only add to the emotional load she was carrying. That meant the hot, sexy, smart, adorable woman was off-limits. He could deal with his out-of-control arousal on his own and then get serious about finding a new lady in his life. Maybe this wasn’t even about Mira. Maybe he’d neglected his love life for too long while he’d been caught up in work. Sure. This would solve itself once he got back into dating.
That was the plan. And to ensure that he stuck to that plan, he swore he wouldn’t leave his room tonight. Not even a run to the kitchen. Nope. He had excellent self-control and if he drew that line in the sand, he’d get through tonight.
“Kaz?” The soft tap on his bedroom door threw a wrench the size of Alaska into that plan.
Do not go open that door. That was the new plan. Don’t open it. Don’t even respond. She’ll think you’re—
The door opened and Mira stepped into the room. “Hey, Kaz, you still up?”
Oh, he was up all right. “Hmm.”
“Oh good.”
Not good. Not good at all. He kept his gaze on the ceiling and focused on the ripples of moonlight that slipped around the swaying tree branches and in through his open windows. The cicadas and frogs of summer were joined in a night symphony he usually found soothing. Tonight it was a rousing crescendo. An erotic magnum opus that matched the pulse of the blood through his veins.
If he stayed quiet, she might think he’d drifted to sleep and back on out. He cleared his mind and focused on a meditation technique.
You’re at the edge of the ocean. Hear the sound of the waves as they lap gently at your feet only to recede in soft waves.
“Kaz, I’ve been thinking about arousal . . .” Her light footsteps moved her to the foot of his bed.
Each wave brings the warm water further up his body.
“Pleasure . . .”
To his calves.
“Satisfaction.”
His thighs.
“Orgasm . . .”
His hips . . . God, yes, his hips.
“Release . . .”
He couldn’t have sat up faster. “Are you saying what I think you are? Because I can think of at least a thousand different reasons why this is a bad idea.”
Mira stood next to his bed in a soft T-shirt that clung to her figure in all the right places. She looked like a beautiful marble statue in the moonlight until she moved, stepping right next to him.
“I thought so too, but then I decided to look at this logically.”
“Logically?”
“We’re both sane adults.”
Debatable at this point, at least in his case. “Sane adults. Check. Go on.”
“Neither one of us has had sex—actual sex, you know, in real life—in a while. I mean, if sex were rain, I’d have to say I’ve been living in drought conditions for a year.”
Okay, well, maybe not a year, but not that far off. “Sex drought. Check.”
“I think you can give me pleasure. And I think I can do the same for you. No strings. No commitment. Simply a one-time thing.”
“One time? That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
He was in total agreement that they could give each other pleasure, but he knew in his gut what was between them wasn’t going to be satisfied in one quick fuck. What he felt for her was bigger than that. Needier than that. Possibly even greedier than that. He grabbed at her offer anyway.
But on the off chance this was their only time together, he was going to savor it . . . slowly.
“You’ll need to lose the shirt.” He leaned back against his headboard, the sheet falling low on his hips, and took her in with his eyes, every luscious curve of her.
Inching the T-shirt up her thighs and then her softly rounded hips, she teased him exquisitely. Her teeth caught at her bottom lip as she paused, whetting his appetite for more, before she slipped it up over her breasts and off.
She was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Like a Rubens painting come to life. He let his gaze roam over her from her bare, pink-tipped toes up her long legs, generous curves and to her face. His gaze connected with hers and held, letting her see the fierce passion she stirred in him. “I’m not sure I can take it, but keep going. Those barely there panties too.”
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Sliding her hands down her hips, she tucked her thumbs into the narrow strips and pushed them down until she was able to step out of them.
“Oh, sweet Mira, you are more than I imagined.” He threw the sheet to the side and stood up next to the bed. His body had been hard since before she’d opened the door. It was obvious she turned him on. “Because we’re only planning this one time, if it’s all right with you, I’m going to take my time.”
She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth before sighing. “Sure. Take all the time you want.”
“Oh I will.” His eyes held hers as he took her hand in his. Brushing his thumb across her palm and back again before lifting her hand to his mouth. He scraped his teeth on the pulse point of her wrist and then a soft bite on the base of her palm and the soft pad of her thumb. “I don’t like to rush. We might be here a while.”
He placed a kiss on the palm of her hand, then sucked her finger into the warmth of his mouth.
“Dios.” Mira’s eyes fluttered closed and her knees gave out.
Catching her against his chest, he kissed her. A slow, deep kiss. His lips hard against hers. And he needed a taste so he slid his tongue along her lips before dipping in to absorb her sweetness. She tasted of sunshine and honey.
He moved them to the bed, where they lay side by side and let his hand glide up her hip and waist to her arm. “When the focus is in each moment, each touch, each caress is complete in itself.”
They lay face-to-face, his arms around her, his eyes looking into hers, connecting them beyond skin deep. He paused his breath to synch it with hers, until her breath became his. In. Out. Connecting deep. Mira shuddered in his arms.
With every touch and stroke of her body he gave pleasure but also took pleasure in touching. Her heat and silk. Her softness.
He touched every part of her body and offered his own up in return. They each gave and received.
“Kaz, I need—” Her hands grasped at his arms, pulling him closer.
“I know. Hang on.” And he cupped her breast in his hand, bending his head down to suck her peaked nipple into his mouth.
“That . . . I need that.” She moaned her pleasure, pushing her hips against his hard shaft so that he had to suck in a breath.
Her head jerked up to his, her eyes taking in his face, and she smiled, reaching down her hand to wrap around his shaft. Squeezing firmly, she ran her hand up and down until he thought he’d explode. He closed his eyes and slowed his breath.
Finding the now, living on that edge of the moment, he pulled himself under control. And then he began anew. His hands caressing down her soft abdomen to her heat while he sipped his lips up her neck.
“Oh, yes, Kaz, yes.” She opened her legs for him.
He slid a finger into her and she gasped and shivered under him. Finding her most sensitive places, he caressed with his fingers and hands, his lips and tongue. He worshipped her until she demanded more.
“Now.”
Reaching for the foil packet in his nightstand, he slid the condom on and then rolled over until Mira was on top. He relinquished control.
“No. I want to be on the bottom.”
He searched her eyes with his and then his lips slid into a wicked grin. Oh he was more than happy to accommodate her wishes. More than happy.
Flipping her under him in one move, he positioned his shaft at her opening. “Now?”
“Please, yes.”
Sliding into her, his breath rushed from his lungs as her heat surrounded him and it felt like coming home. It only took the touch of her lips on his neck to shatter that peace. He pulled back enough to keep the connection of their eyes and moved in and out, as slowly as he could stand, exquisitely slow, drawing out the pleasure. Her hands clenched his forearms as she begged him to go faster.
He slowed it down. A slow stoke in and then out where he paused on the edge of space until he plunged back.
Wrapping her arms around his neck, she tried to force him to go faster by hooking one leg around his hips. But he only took that as an opportunity to slide his finger gently over her clitoris as he stroked to his own driving rhythm.
Joining their palms on either side of Mira’s head, fingers linked, he felt her heartbeat against his as their eyes took each other in. His lungs were about to burst with the slow-building suspense. They lay on the edge of the precipice . . . quivering, touching, needing.
Her breath hitched. She moaned her pleasure and slid up and over into the sublime.
A few more strokes and he found release, a shuddering, soul-shaking release.
Chapter Nineteen
Kaz pulled away from his house the next morning as the sun was rising. Mira was still asleep, but he needed to put some space between the two of them and maybe get some advice. Their night together had been damn amazing. Even so, he knew he’d made a big mistake. A big enough mistake to talk with one of his brothers about it. Now all he had to do was figure out which brother he wanted to talk to.
Not Paxton. Half the time Paxton was just as clueless as he was about women.
Quinn was always a voice of reason, except he’d been in love with Delaney since he was a freshman in high school so his point of reference was a bit skewed.
Sijan was wrapping up the filming of his latest action-adventure film in London, so he was unavailable. Besides, with women throwing themselves at him since he’d made it in Hollywood, he might not have advice that fit his situation.
Which left Tynan. He drove to his brother’s house and, luckily, had timed it right because Lu was dishing up breakfast. They invited him to join them and he went over the details of his predicament over hash casserole and coffee.
“So what are you saying?” Tynan paused his fork over his food.
“I slept with her.”
“And you’re telling me you’re just friends?” A raised eyebrow showed his doubt about this fact.
“Yes. Absolutely. Just friends.”
“And you’re living under the same roof?” Lu asked, pouring some milk in her coffee mug.
“Temporarily.” Kaz slipped a bite of egg to Ty’s dog, Houdini, who sat patiently next to his chair, working his sad puppy eyes. Before he could blink, DA, the cat, was skidding into position waiting for a table scrap too.
“And you’re telling me it was a one-time deal?” Tynan forked up another bite of casserole.
“Exactly.”
His brother shrugged. “Then I don’t see your problem. I mean, I don’t believe you, but it sounds like it’s over.”
“What part don’t you believe?”
“That you’re just friends and that it was a one-time deal.”
“It has to be. It would be bad for her to be anything more.”
Tynan scratched his neck and stared hard at his brother. “If that’s the case, I recommend you go out on a date with another woman as fast as you can. That way she won’t feel any pressure from you and you’ll move on.”
“That’s what I was thinking myself.” Kaz nodded in agreement, jiggling the keys in his pocket. “That’s what I’ll do. Thanks, Ty.”
After breakfast Lu joined Tynan on the front porch as he watched his brother drive away.
“Sometimes my brilliant brother is an idiot.” He shook his head and wrapped his arm around Lu. “He’s in trouble.”
“This time I have to agree with you. Why didn’t you clue him in?”
“Babe, there are some things a man has to learn by himself.”
“Seriously?”
“I’m afraid so. Especially when it’s going to provide us damn good entertainment to watch him.”
“Tynan Cates, that’s terrible.”
“I know, but you love me anyway.” He pulled her in for a long, hot kiss.
“I do. I really do.”
Looking down into her deep brown eyes, even after two years of being together, the love he felt for her seized his chest and took his breath away. “Enough to marry me?”
“Absolutely. After you talk to
my daddy of course.”
“Already did.” He’d known this moment was coming, enough that last week he’d made the three-hour drive over to Lu’s hometown to ask her father for her hand in marriage. Yes, this was the modern age, but they were both from the South. While everyone knew women were in charge of their lives, it was a romantic Southern tradition they enjoyed clinging to. That was still how they did things down here.
“Is this the official asking?”
“Not yet. This was the testing the waters.” He hadn’t figured out how he’d ask her yet, but now that he knew she was going to say yes, he could stop being nervous.
“Tynan Cates, if you seriously felt like you had to test the waters either I need to show you my deep, abiding love more often.” She stretched up to kiss him. “Or you’re a bigger idiot than your brother.”
* * *
In retrospect, through the clear light of the morning after, Mira allowed that she might have been smarter if she’d let Kaz talk them out of last night. Because he’d been right; there were a thousand different reasons why making love had been a bad idea. It was just that last night she couldn’t think of a single one and today she was being bombarded by them like being caught out in a hailstorm. The saddest part of all? She was still having a hard time regretting last night.
Because last night was everything she’d ever dreamed sex could be. And everything she needed. Almost. The most important things she needed she was pretty sure weren’t in the cards for her. The ability to trust—in her judgment. In a man. In a relationship. In love.
Choose happy.
She had done that last night. Arousal. Orgasm. Release. Satisfaction. Pleasure. Oh my. She’d had all that and more last night with Kaz. So not only did she have the hailstorm of the thousand reasons why last night had been a colossally bad idea, she also had another thought that she couldn’t stop. Like a runaway wild horse, it raced through and stomped over all the others until they were nothing compared to this.
When could they share another night like that again?
No. She knew that would be bad for them both. She’d sold the idea of the two of them making love together as a one-time thing and she needed to stick to her word. In fact, it was her vow that it would be a one-time event that finally had him saying yes.