“Are you in control?” he asked, and I wanted to kick him in the balls. He had to know I couldn’t actually answer.
I attempted to glare, unsure if it worked until his lips turned into a smirk. “There you are. I’m going to remove the magic binding you, but if you try to go anywhere, Mosi will be back to lock you down again.”
Mosi? I really needed to know more about that fae. And, again? Why had he even done it in the first place?
Finn placed one hand on my chest and the other on my forehead. His light fae power flooded through my veins, burning me from the inside out. We might have been two opposites, but instead of trying to move away from the scorching feeling his power ignited within me, my body craved to be closer to it.
When he was done and removed the hand from my head, the other remained on my chest and our eyes locked. Emotions rose to the surface. New emotions that were conflicting as I remembered that he’d taken me away from the fight at the castle that I had so badly wanted to end with the king’s death.
Regardless of that, as I took in the charcoal bleeding through his eyes, the darkness that still swelled inside him, and the passion pouring off him in waves, I wanted him more than ever before.
I waited for a snarky comment from my inner voice, but nothing came. It was silent, and not because I was pushing it down.
Wherever my inner darkness had gone, it took away my ability to ignore the attraction I’d always known was between me and Finn. Gods, I wanted him badly, maybe needed him more than ever, but I also didn’t at the same time. The inner turmoil was almost enough to make me wish for death as an easy escape.
His hand moved from my chest to my face, fingers stroking my cheek as he leaned in closer. “How are you feeling?” he asked as I sat up.
“You had no right to force me away from that fight,” I said instead of answering his question. I wanted to be angry at him, but based on the warmth that was building inside me, I seemed to be breathing heavy for two different reasons.
“You were going to die, and I couldn’t let that happen.”
My hands gripped his shirt, bringing him closer and trying to remind him why his choice had been wrong for the Finn I thought I knew. “But he has your sister.”
“I know, and if he’s smart, the king will leave her alive in order to negotiate her life with us. As much as it killed me to leave her behind, I can’t save her without you, and you weren’t going to make it past the next wave of guards that were headed for us.”
I wanted to remind him that even if King Zephyr left Ivy alive, she wouldn’t remain unscathed. He could torture her while leaving her in good enough condition to taunt us. Ivy wouldn’t be the same sister he once knew if we got her back alive.
All of those thoughts were lost to me, though, as Finn inched closer. I breathed in his heady scent of light magic. It was like warm spring air after the rain. The realization that I’d never wanted someone as much as I wanted him in that moment slammed into me.
There was a small part of me—one that had nothing to do with my inner darkness—that knew I should be questioning my actions, but I was growing tired of fighting all the damn time. I just needed to get Finn Barlow out of my system and then I could worry about what came next. With my wounds mostly healed and the block lifted, I regained control.
I could only think of one thing I wanted most in that moment.
Using my grip still on Finn’s shirt, I jerked him close enough to press my lips to his as he cradled the back of my head with his hands. His chest rumbled as I pushed closer and soaked in everything that he was. The goodness inside him that normally repulsed me was suddenly burning a fire within me instead.
I began pulling at his clothes, no longer wanting any layers between us as he did the same to mine, causing me to realize I was no longer in the bodysuit I’d been wearing before. I was covered in a soft white cotton dress—something that seemed so pure and out of place against my skin.
As I continued with frantic movements, Finn paused. His hands wrapped around mine that had been unbuttoning his pants.
“Lucinda, I think—”
I yanked my hand from his grip and pressed it over his mouth. “Finn, we’ve fought whatever this is for long enough. I almost died, and it would be really great if you didn’t make me think too much about that.”
He grinned under my hold and gently pulled my fingers back. “That’s not where I was going, but I’m glad to know you weren’t unaffected before.”
Gods, if he only knew, but I’d never admit the feelings he stirred within me out loud.
He resumed pulling the dress over my head as I got his pants unbuttoned.
By the time we were both naked, I was acting on pure passion. I wasn’t overthinking what it could mean to have sex with him. I refused to consider the consequences of allowing him in intimately or the reasons my body wanted him so thoroughly in that moment.
With cool grass beneath me, I lay back and let my indigo hair fan out at the sides. I openly appraised everything Finn had on display as he inched closer. Gods, why had I ever fought against the emotions he enticed within me before?
He leaned over me onto his elbows, his muscled arms blocking me in as his thumbs stroked against my outer shoulders. Forcing my eyes from his, I let them wander down his delectable, tanned chest. I lifted a hand, letting my fingers trail down his stomach. Muscles rippled beneath my feather-light touches until my hand wrapped around the silky-smooth skin of his hard length. He growled in response, causing warmth to pool at my center. I was more than ready for him.
Finn shifted his weight, leaning on one arm while the other snaked between us and ended my exploring. With his free hand, he pinned both of mine on the grass behind my head as he sank into me in one fluid motion. I sucked in a breath as my whole world turned upside down and magic poured from me.
The darkest parts of me finally flared to life again, putting up a feeble fight against what was happening. I’d known there was something different about Finn the moment I saw him, but I’d always assumed it was the dark magic in him that called to me.
This fae will ruin who we’ve become. Don’t let him, the voice sneered.
I should have stopped what was happening. I should have listened, but I didn’t. The connection that was forming between Finn and me was more powerful than my stubbornness. Stronger than my hate of feeling emotions that made me vulnerable.
My arms shook as our magic intertwined.
You’re going to regret this, Lucinda. Stop it now! the voice shouted, but there was no more power behind its words.
Finn’s silver eyes turned to charcoal as my magic hovered above his chest. His grip on me tightened as my shaking slowed.
This is your last chance, the voice growled, yet sounded weaker.
My hands moved to Finn’s shoulders. I was going to push him off of me. I was going to stop the bond that was building. My intentions were clear. The voice had finally gotten through my sex-induced haze.
When my nails dug into Finn’s skin, he rolled us until I was on top. “I won’t force you, but you need to know that I accept you, Lucinda. All of you.”
All I had to do was push up onto my feet and there would be no bond between me and Finn. Just one simple movement and I would keep my freedom. Except I couldn’t bring myself to do it. The call of the bond was soothing and powerful. There was a strength within it that calmed my heart in a way I’d never felt before.
Lucinda, no! my inner voice screamed, but it changed nothing for me.
As I locked gazes with Finn, I decided to accept the challenge fate had thrown my way. I might regret it later, but bonds could be broken, and curiosity got the better of me as I let my instincts take over.
Mine, a voice sounded in my mind that wasn’t the one I was used to. Instead of fighting against the singular word that held enough power to ruin me, I found myself drawn to it and repeating the same.
Mine, I agreed, and Finn’s chest rumbled as we both came together and lay tangled around ea
ch other.
Minutes passed before he rose up and stroked my cheek. “I had no idea that we would…”
“Bond? Yeah, bit of a shocker there,” I replied, already wondering if I’d made the right choice as the sex fog began to lift.
A commitment like this wasn’t something the normal me would be okay with, but there was a euphoria in me that had never been there before, and I couldn’t deny it was a nice change.
Comfortable silence settled between us as I pretended that we were just two fae on a beach. Nothing more, nothing less.
“Is this really what you wanted?” he asked hesitantly.
‘No’ was at the tip of my tongue as I rolled over to face him. I wouldn’t lie to Finn. It served no purpose. He knew who I was, and if he’d been telling the truth before about accepting all of me, then he wouldn’t appreciate anything less than the truth.
“It wasn’t what I wanted, but it happened, and I can see this being a benefit,” I said, even if my inner voice had yelled otherwise.
Finn turned toward me with a smile on his face. “Thank you for not lying.”
“What about you? You’re now tied to me, and I haven’t changed, Finn. I’m still going to do whatever it takes to end King Zephyr, and I won’t let anyone get in the way of that. Not even what happened today.”
My chest constricted at the thought of hurting him, and I wanted to smack myself. Though, I wasn’t sure if that was for pretending I couldn’t compromise or for caring so much. I knew I had more obstacles in front of me now, but maybe Finn really could understand my side of things with the bond in place. It would sure as hell make me want to punch him less.
He leaned closer to me again, his fingers reaching to play with the ends of my hair. “I’ve learned to accept you for who you are already. Mosi helped me to see the other side of things. Once I did, he made me promise to keep you alive, no matter the cost. Though, I had no idea this would happen if I succeeded.”
I moved away from him, sitting up straighter, still naked and uncaring. “What do you mean?”
“Mosi came to me the night before we all went to the castle together. He can see pieces of the future and interferes when he can. He is actually the reason why I went to find you in the first place. During our last meeting, I was so angry with you. Mosi painted things in a way that I could understand your perspective, and the irritation lifted.”
“What about keeping me alive?” I asked, more curious how that played into our situation.
“He told me you were our only chance at saving Ivy. I had to choose your life over hers, which was a lot easier to do when I could understand your actions more.”
A fae who could see the future? I’d never heard of such a thing, but he also had feathered wings like me. As much as I didn’t want to believe it, I knew I couldn’t deny the possibility. There was too much unknown about fae like us.
“Tell me everything Mosi said to you before the fight,” I demanded as Finn reached for his pants and tossed me the cotton dress. I could have magicked myself some regular clothes, but it was hot as hell under the sun on this island. The dress didn’t sound so bad for the time being.
“He said there would be a battle and I’d have to choose between you and Ivy. That in order to save my sister, I’d have to stand by your side and do things I normally wouldn’t, like kill other fae without asking questions first.”
My mind flashed back first to the battle at the farm and then to the castle when Finn had arrived and began attacking the guards like a madman. Finn’s statement might have given some women doubts about his choices, but not me. He’d been up front since the beginning that he needed to save his sister, and I wouldn’t hold his actions against him.
“Well, you certainly had no problem acclimating to that. And here I thought it was because I’d rubbed off on you,” I said with a grin.
He stood and finished getting dressed. When his face reappeared after his shirt was on, he fought a grin. “I think it was a little of both. Like I said, I didn’t choose to accept my feelings after I found out about saving Ivy. I chose you first. Mosi is smart like that.”
As I slipped the dress over my head, I knew I couldn’t argue with him. The order in which Finn made his choices did help me to believe he wasn’t using me only to save his sister.
Finn stepped closer and reached for me. “All of my choices have been mine alone. If you walked away from ending the king and saving Ivy, I still wouldn’t regret what happened today. A part of me already knew there was something special about you. I fought against it, because you…” Finn grimaced, unable to find the right words.
“Because I’m me, and who I am goes against everything you believe in. It’s okay, Finn. I don’t expect us to pretend anything has changed about our views just because fate decided we should be bonded. We are who we are, and you don’t have to agree with everything that I am. The bond shouldn’t force either of us to be someone different.”
Finn gently pushed the wild strands of my hair back behind my ear before speaking. “You were raised by horrid fae, but the things they made you do don’t have to dictate who you are. The Lucinda I see now is one who took a screwed-up situation and used it to help other people.”
I snorted and glanced at the water in front of us, needing space from his intense gaze. “For a price. I didn’t do it out of the kindness of my heart.”
He sighed, then softly forced my gaze back to his. “Not always, but the times you did, even if you didn’t realize it, count for something.”
A power pulsed around us, and I itched to wrap my body around him again. Slowly, the gap between us closed as the air sizzled and I grabbed on to his biceps. “Finn…”
“I know.”
The emotions were overpowering. I was drowning in them, and that scared the shit out of me. My heart pounded in my chest as I squeezed tighter and he brought his forehead to mine. “It’s going to be okay, Lucy.”
I didn’t quite believe him but chose to focus on what had happened while I was unconscious instead.
“Where are we, and why was I magically restrained when I woke up?” I asked, glancing around again.
In front of me was only ocean for as far as the eye could see, and behind us was nothing more than a tropical forest. The sun warmed my skin from above, and I inhaled the scent of saltwater once more, this time also sensing magic. Lots of it.
“We’re still in the fae realm, but on an island Mosi has had hidden for many years. He brought a witch here that concealed its location. Only supernaturals that Mosi personally allows can enter.”
“And why was I restrained?” I asked again since he seemed to be avoiding the question.
He shrugged sheepishly. “Well, your darkness took over the first time you woke up. According to your verbal threats, it wasn’t pleased that I’d taken you from the castle and left the sword behind.”
“Did I do something besides sling verbal threats?” Hopefully I hadn’t killed anyone or done something that would bring us more trouble.
He hesitated again, but I glared hard enough that he finally spoke. “You… No, not you. It tried to kill me, but we restrained you before you could do any harm. Do you sense whatever that darkness is now? Mosi’s mate tried to help you, but she wasn’t sure how well it worked.”
I stopped and pulled away from Finn, staring into his eyes that held no blame toward me. He was too good, and that irritated me. Accepting the bond had happened in a heat of passion, but as minutes ticked by, the doubts started to slither in.
“I think it’s time I had a better introduction to this mysterious fae that seems to know more about me than I’m comfortable with. Along with his mate,” I replied once I had my wits about me again.
He grabbed my hand. “I think they’d like that.”
I rolled my eyes. I didn’t care if anyone liked it or not. These fae had some explaining to do, and I wasn’t leaving this island until they told me a hell of a lot more about whatever was going on. I was beginning to believe there wa
s more at stake than just saving Finn’s sister and killing the demons of my past.
Someone was leaving out the details, and I wasn’t okay with that.
Chapter 3
Instead of teleporting to wherever Mosi was, Finn insisted we walk. I tried to take in our surroundings as we traveled through the trees, but my mind was reeling. Even though I could hear the monkeys, birds, and insects, I could think of nothing other than bonding with Finn.
It was the worst possible scenario. Now that I wasn’t in a sex-induced haze, the doubts were nonstop. I could have stopped it. I knew what was happening, and, while all seemed fine in the moment, I was anything but fine.
From what I knew about bonds, we never would have become bonded if we hadn’t had sex. The only thing that kept me from really losing my shit was that I knew there was a way to break it. I couldn’t remember how it was done. All that mattered was that I was confident it was possible to make the connection go away.
Holy shit, I was bonded.
And not to just any fae. A light one with a strong moral compass. One who not too long ago looked at me with disgust for my actions. Sure, he was beginning to understand me and see my views, but would he expect me to do the same? I knew I should, but could I?
Bonds and emotions made all kinds of people do stupid shit. Neva had been saying I was changing, that I wasn’t who I thought I was. Was I becoming someone else just by being around Finn? Having a man dictate my life was my biggest fear after being freed from King Zephyr. Had I somehow just ended up in a similar situation? I’d die before I let Finn control me.
Logically, I knew he was nothing like the king, but Finn now had influence over my actions through the bond. My heart would urge me to make decisions with his interests at the forefront of my choices, but what about my mind? What about the inner me? The inner me who’d been silenced somehow and was no longer able to make me see reason. Well, my version of it anyway.
A new terror rose within me. Even though the voice had become annoying and demanding, it was part of me. The darkness had kept me sane in the early months of being on my own, and I wanted it back.
Dark Fae Freed (Broken Court Book 2) Page 2