My door opened and in came chaos. Lindsey and Kelly were laughing and joking, as if they were two school girls that had just been asked out to the prom.
“They called! Both of us got calls!” Lindsey said in a yelping high voice.
“Do you even know which one was which?” I asked.
“Leigh. You saw how freaking hot those guys are. You think it matters? I’d take any… or all.”
“Well, I suppose you’re right. Just as long as you keep them both focused on you. I am planning a little rewrite of the magic script, but just in case they feel compelled to do something crazy, you two need to stop them. I don’t care how you do it.”
“Great! So let’s talk about this script. I want to set up some future dates with a roofer. So don’t make it turn out badly for us.” Lindsey’s desperation was showing.
“Yes! Me, too. Let’s write some steam, Leigh!” Kelly was nearly panting.
“Easy now, ladies, this has to be done very carefully. Almost anything can be taken very literally, and that is exactly how I got into this predicament to begin with.”
I sat down at my desk and Luna joined me. Kelly and Lindsey looked over my shoulders as I turned on my monitor. “Now, here is the original piece where I was writing about Harry the werewolf and his evil woman. Harry’s fate will be my Dad’s fate, just as the woman’s fate will be my Mother’s. The werewolf hunters are already set to be played by the roofers. We’ll start here, right before Harry is grabbed and tied up.
“If someone has to get tied up, can it be that roofer with the tattoos? I have some thoughts about that.” Kelly spoke with sincerity as she chewed on one of her nails. Lindsey and I looked at her in disbelief.
“No! The idea is to prevent an erotic encounter, not create a BDSM dungeon in my parents’ family room.”
Lindsey was a little more helpful. “OK, write it so that we are all there at Harry’s with our dates. God, I love saying that. With our dates. Anyway, so we all mingle about, and enjoy a good meal. The guys will be so focused on us they won’t be able to pay attention to your parents.”
“Good. Then, we can have Harry and his lady be totally and happily focused on each other. I really hope that I can change their fates, I just don’t know if it will work. So please, at any sign of craziness, we all have to jump into action and clear the boys out of there. Just in case, I want to write in some silly, yet urgent reason for the boys to leave a little early.”
“I got it. Just write in the guys were so happy to spend time with Lindsey and me that they begged to take us out for the evening, or something.”
“Sounds good.”
I tapped away on my keyboard and out came a couple of new paragraphs.
Beatrice had carefully set up her trap for Harry, but suddenly she felt something in her heart change. There was no way she could go through with any plan that would torment or hurt Harry. She realized that he was her mate. Her one true love. Harry felt the same way about her. The plans would change. She couldn’t stop the werewolf hunters from coming over, so she decided that she would not disclose to them what Harry really was.
Meanwhile, the wolf hunters decided that perhaps they didn’t want to go to Beatrice’s lair alone and they brought along their beautiful girlfriends for company. The wolf hunters, Derek and Luke, were enamored with their new girlfriends and couldn’t think of anything other than the women by their sides. What had once been planned as a trap by Beatrice to torture and humiliate the werewolf had become a friendly gathering and a time to celebrate newfound love.
“You know, I think that is probably going to be good enough. What do you think?” I looked back over my shoulders. Kelly and Lindsey nodded in agreement. With the new script in place and the backing of friends, I felt at ease about my parents’ party.
The following morning went by without a hitch. Hunter arrived on time and was once again dressed smartly. Kelly and Lindsey both called to say they were on their way with their rooftop escorts.
Our little caravan met up on the freeway and we headed for Skokie. We arrived at my parents’ house by mid-afternoon.
I was happy to see my parents when we arrived. They were standing in the drive way as we pulled in. My Mother, as always, was dressed smartly in a light blue dress and matching blue heels. She wore her favorite white pearls with the matching earrings and bracelet. Her hairstyle had been unchanged since Ronald Reagan was president. There is not one time from my childhood that I can remember my Mom ever experimenting with her hair or her wardrobe. My Dad was wearing his typical embarrassing cookout clothing. Plaid shorts, a white button down shirt, and black dress shoes. Black dress shoes! His white socks were pulled to the maximum stretch level, nearly covering his pale bony knees. Ahhh… What can I say? It was good to see them.
The small crowd gathered on the driveway and after brief introductions, we all went into the somewhat tackily landscaped back yard. My parents loved lawn sculptures. The kind that were made out of poured cement and carefully arranged throughout the yard. Then, they were unceremoniously crapped on by every bird in the neighborhood.
All in all, things went great. My Dad ran the grill with Hunter as his assistant. The girls were busy getting to actually know their new friends. I was talking to my mother. The world was right again. As the afternoon wore on, my parents seemed to be getting a little cozy with each other and I patted myself on the back. It seems like being a witch is OK, once you get the hang of it.
Hunter and I took a walk through the yard. He commented, “So, is this like a pet cemetery or something?”
“No, my Dad owns a cement company and one of the things they make are these lawn ornaments. Angels, frogs, turtles, and fairies. When I was little, I would have nightmares after looking out here in the moonlight. They still creep me out.”
“What’s up with those monkeys? I’ve heard of the see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil monkeys, but what happened there?” Hunter pointed to a cement log with three monkeys squatting along the top of it. Each cement monkey had a huge set of balls hanging below them and a very noticeable erection.
“Ha! It was from the shop. My Dad brought it home. I guess the guy that made it was quitting his job and thought it was funny. Just another thing that left scars on my young mind.”
We walked back over to the gathering and I noticed my parents were missing. I led Hunter into the kitchen. He took me by the hands and looked me in the eye. For a minute I thought he might kiss me, until we heard a very odd sound. It was like a muffled sound coming from a person trying to talk with a mouth full of food.
We looked across the room and saw my Dad. He was on the other side of the kitchen island, leaning against it. His back was toward us and he didn’t notice we were in the room.
“Dad? Are you OK? What’s that noise?”
His head spun around and he had a shocked and embarrassed look on his face. My mother came up from behind the island. Her lipstick was smeared and her hair was tossed into disarray. Then I noticed it. Her blue dress had several gobs of thick, nasty, white stuff spattered on the front. You guessed it, love potion.
I stood there with my mouth hanging open as my mother very casually took a napkin and wiped her mouth off. “Hi, Leigh. Sorry, we didn’t know you were in the kitchen.” Some of the sticky liquid was on her chin. I started to gag. I turned away so that I wouldn’t throw up.
“Oh. My. God.”
“Leigh, your mother was just helping to tie my shoes!”
“Dad! You are wearing slip on shoes!”
I took Hunter by the hand and we walked briskly right out of the kitchen. “I’m sorry you had to see that, Hunter. I sure as hell hope that little blue dress makes it to the cleaner or the landfill.”
“Ha! Well, I know one thing. I’m not about to accept a cigar from your Dad anytime soon!"
Hunter took me home and before we parted, he had to tell me something. “Leigh, like I said, I’m going into the Police Academy. I would like it very much if we could hang out a couple
of times, at least until then. I’m not expecting anything, you know. I just thought it would be nice to spend some more time with you.”
“I agree! Just so you know, I’m not dating anyone, or just out of a relationship, or any of that. Tell you what, we’ll hang out, and I’ll be there when you graduate at the top of your class to cheer for you. Then… we can go from there. Until then, I count today as our second date. I’m looking forward to a third.” I winked at him and now that I had thrown my cards on the table about how I felt, I hoped our third date would rise to another level, just a bit.
It’s good to be a witch. I’ve got the rest of summer ahead of me before I have to go back to teaching. I’ve got some crazy friends, parents that were in lust if not love, and a cat that has finally decided it’s not all that bad to live with me. And best of all, the prospect of a great boyfriend. One that could actually measure up to my book boyfriends. Life is good.
For a short moment that is! I no sooner walked in the door and my cell phone started to buzz wildly. I looked at the caller ID and flipped my phone open.
“Hey girlie, how was the rest of your date? I saw that you and Lindsey made an early escape with your two beef cakes.”
“What did you do to us? Leigh, this isn’t funny. You have to fix the spell. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb seem to have lost all ability to think of anything but Lindsey and me. They don’t even know their names anymore!”
“Oh, come on. It can’t be that bad. So, they are a little fixated on you. You should appreciate it.”
“Leigh! You have no idea. Luke was trying to tattoo my name on his chest with a nail. Thank God I was able to stop him. It’s getting worse! We need you here, now. Help us, please!”
“I’ll be right there.” Like I said, things were looking good. I went to the living room to grab my purse. I stopped dead in my tracks. A large puff of smoke filled the center of the room, but that wasn’t the strangest part. Luna walked out of the cloud of smoke and stood before me with a small scroll in her mouth. She dropped the scroll at my feet and greeted me with a loud “Meooow.”
I picked up the scroll and broke the tiny seal that was placed in the middle. The wax seal was very old fashioned and had the number 1313 in the center. What the hell is this? I thought. I unrolled the scroll and began to read.
Ms. Epstein,
Congratulations on your new found powers. It has come to our attention that you have been practicing witchcraft as a non-union member. The practice of witchcraft is strictly forbidden in the mortal world without proper training and union membership.
You are hereby ordered to cease all magical use of any kind. You are ordered to appear in front of the Union Board immediately.
Please recite the following incantation out loud and you will be transported immediately to Union Headquarters. Please remember to bring a check book with you for any and all union dues along with any fines.
** Transportation Spell
Witches Local 1313, Take me there, Take me now. With ease and grace, This is how.
Seriously,
Esmeralda Jones
Command Secretary
Witches Local 1313
I read the letter twice to make sure I was reading it right! “Seriously?” I pulled my cellphone from my purse and called Kelly. “Hey, you’re going to have to handle things there for a little bit without me.”
“Leigh, you don’t get it! We need you here– NOW! Everything is getting completely out of hand. The first time Lindsey and I were drunk, this time they are cursed. We don’t want to take advantage of them like that. Luke and Derek are hot enough to begin with. I’m not sure Lindsey and I can fend them off when they’re both so sweet and hot. They keep saying everything that a girl would ever want to hear, and their bodies are made for sin. Leigh! They are the PERFECT book boyfriends and we don’t have the strength to say NO! Lindsey and I have talked about this. It’s not that we don’t want a night of amazing headboard banging, screaming like a banshee sex, we’d just rather not take full advantage of these guys when they’re cursed! What if they come out of it and hate us for it? Right now, they don’t even know their own names. It’s like they live only to serve and please us. Did I mention they will do ANYTHING to prove it?”
I didn’t know what to do. I knew that my friends needed me, but apparently I was being summoned by The Witches Local 1313. I’m still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that there is a Witches Union! Who would have thought? I can be pretty certain this is a group of people that I don’t want to piss off, so I better do what I’m told. For now, anyway. . .
“Kelly, I’m sorry. I have an emergency here. I was just summoned, via my cat, to The Witches Local 1313 and before you ask, no… I’m not kidding. I don’t have a choice! I have to go. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
I quickly snapped my phone shut and threw it in my purse. I also double checked to make sure I had my checkbook with me as per the instructions in the letter. I sure as hell hoped this wasn’t going to cost me an arm and a leg. Wait, scratch that thought! I hope it doesn’t cost me a lot of money. The last thing I want is to return home missing a couple of limbs. That would seriously suck!
When I was finally ready, I bent over and picked Luna up. I figured if she had already met the witches, she might as well go with me. Besides, I really didn’t want to do this alone. I took one last deep breath and recited the transportation spell out loud. I should have been expecting the puff of smoke that surrounded me, but I wasn’t. I immediately started choking and coughing before I felt myself being shifted from the comfort of my own home.
So much for life being good!
The following are excerpts from other books by Melanie James. A Valentine’s Surprise (Seasons of Love Series) and Conjuring Darkness (Darkness Series).
Follow along with Leigh and more of her misadventures in Serious Leigh (Book 2 of the Literal Leigh Romance Diaries) Available now, and Hopeful Leigh coming soon!
-Black Paw Publishing
A Valentine’s Surprise
Chapter 1
The day started out much like any other for Officer Adam Jennings. Riding with him in the front seat of his cruiser was his best friend and partner Jake Matthews. Being on patrol with Jake was one of his favorite places to be.
The only path that Adam ever saw for himself was that of a policeman. He liked helping people and this was the best way that he knew how. Sure he had to deal with the lowest of the low, but most of the citizens he interacted with were good people who just got off track every once in a while. He took his job seriously, but he still believed people should be given the benefit of the doubt. He firmly believed that most people tried hard to be good and do their best.
Adam was thankful he didn’t live or work in a city with a high crime rate. He wanted the people in his community to feel safe. Whether they were home with their families, out and about running errands, or enjoying an evening on the town, their safety was important to him.
Adam had never been married, or even close to marriage. The only person he had to think about other than himself was his twenty-two year old sister, Jenny. When their parents died ten years earlier in a horrific car accident, Adam stepped up as a big brother to raise Jenny the best way that he could.
It wasn’t always easy. He was fresh out of the police academy and knew nothing about raising a teenage girl, but he did his best and Jenny seemed to turn out all right. He was beyond grateful that she didn’t rebel too much during her teen years. Adam didn’t have the time or patience to deal with a bunch of teenage drama.
Jenny was a lot like Adam, in the respect that she didn’t date a lot. There were the occasional boyfriends of course, but Adam never had to worry about killing them for hurting his sister.
Adam put the thought of any serious relationships on hold while he was raising Jenny. He didn’t think it would be good for her to become attached to someone he was dating, especially if the relationship wasn’t serious enough to lead to marriage. He tried to set a good e
xample for her. The last thing he wanted was for his romantic exploits to make it back to his baby sister. Just the thought of it made him cringe.
Adam was no angel. He dated, but he did so discretely. He would only go out when he knew that Jenny had plans with her friends. He always made sure that whoever he went home with, knew up front that he would only be spending one night with them. Second dates were out of the question, because he never wanted anyone to get the wrong idea.
Dating had become easier now that Jenny was in college, but he still didn’t find anyone that piqued his interest enough to want to settle down. Most of the women that he met were shallow, rude, and completely obtuse. The woman he would marry would be kind, compassionate, and witty. She would be independent, yet willing to stand beside him as an equal partner. He wasn’t interested in anyone who was looking for a free ride. Women like that were to be avoided like the plague.
It was a quiet morning, as they traveled along their normal route. Adam and Jake had made a few traffic stops, but that was about it. Adam didn’t mind quiet mornings, it meant the citizens of his sleepy town were safe and staying out of trouble. “I think it’s time for our morning coffee stop,” Jake said, breaking the comfortable silence.
“Sounds good,” Adam replied, as they headed to the local convenience store. Adam noticed the empty parking lot, as they slowly exited the car and closed the doors. He took the lead, as he and Jake entered the store. There was nothing normal about what was happening, as Adam stepped inside.
Before he could react to what he saw, he heard a loud BANG and was knocked backward by an excessive force. He felt a burning in his shoulder, chest, and lungs. He yelled out in pain, as he reached for his shoulder.
He was shocked when he pulled his hand back, it was warm, and wet, and covered with blood. The pain took his breath away and he began fighting for air as he collapsed to the floor. Adam heard two more shots ring out. The only thing he could think of was Jake. He prayed that his partner wasn’t hit.
Accidental Leigh (Literal Leigh Romance Diaries Book 1) Page 9