“I can assure you, Lillia, she’s not the same person as the girl you told me about.”
After chatting for another twenty minutes, I start yawning, and I tell Avery I’m going to go to bed.
“Oh, before you go. Lennon asked me to marry him.” She squeals. I hear Lennon shouting in the background, something about telling me together.
“Oh my God! Congratulations!” I’m genuinely happy for them.
“You’re bridesmaid, of course. I’ll send you the details soon.”
I laugh at how much she’s going to drive everyone insane over this wedding. “I love you guys!” I shout, and hang up, leaving them to their little lovers’ tiff.
Climbing into bed, I switch the TV on and start watching trash TV when my cell rings again. This time it’s my big cousin, Abbie. “Hey.”
“Hey, Lil.” She sounds chirpy. “I’m in New York just now and I wondered if you wanted to meet for coffee tomorrow?”
“Of course.” I beam. It’s been years since we’ve had any time together just me and her. Growing up, I looked up to her. She’s like my big sister and we’re the only girls in a family full of boys so we stuck together a lot. Then she disappeared for almost a year. Abbie’s husband was killed by a stalker co-worker and Abbie hit her head so hard she thought she killed him.
“Great. Meet you at ten a.m. at Sarabeth’s East?”
“Yes. I’ll see you then.” I grin, excited to meet up with her. We hang up and I fall into a peaceful sleep.
Seeing Abigail sitting looking over the menu, I practically run to her.
“Oh my God. It’s so good to see you!” My voice cracks a little as I throw my arms around her neck.
“You too.” She pulls back from my choking hug.
While we wait for our food and coffee, Abigail begins questioning me.
“So, how're things with you?” She holds her hand up before I open my mouth. “And before you even think of lying, just remember who you’re talking to.”
I slump back with a heavy sigh. “I miss him.” Tears form, stinging my eyes. “I miss him so much. I don’t know how to move on with my life.”
Reaching across the table, she squeezes my hand. “Why did you leave then?”
“Because he doesn’t love me.” I shrug. “I mean, he wrote me a note. But those are just words. They don’t mean anything without actions to go with them.” I shake my head, sniffling. “His actions showed the opposite.”
“Maybe he was scared, Lillia. Lennon told me he has some anger issues that stem from childhood. Maybe he needs a good, positive thing in his life to make him see that he loves you, and to show you that he does.” She tilts her head at me, making sure I’m listening to her.
“Maybe. But I just don’t want to feel all this hurt anymore, Abbie.” A tear drops off my chin.
“I know, and I have a feeling it will get better. It won’t right away, but it will get better and you won’t hurt anymore.”
I nod. Our food arrives and shuts down all talk of men for the rest of the afternoon, and we enjoy a girly day of shopping and catch-ups.
“We need to do this more often. Let’s not leave it too long next time.” We hug each other goodbye.
One Year Later
I can’t believe I’ve been in New York for a year already. I’ve come to work early to catch Josh; I need to ask him a huge favor. Standing in the staff kitchen, I wait on Josh.
“Hey, Lillia. You’re in early,” Daniel says, sounding surprised. “Had I known you were coming in early I would have given you a ride.”
“It’s okay. I had to stop off to pick up some bagels.” I hold up a brown paper bag with Josh’s favorite breakfast; at least I hope it’s still his favorite.
“Okay, well, I’ll see you tonight. Darcy’s making chilli for dinner.”
Smiling at him, I say goodbye, grab my coffee, and go in search of Josh.
“Good morning, Josh.” I smile at him, placing the brown bag and coffee in front of him as he switches on his computer.
“Good morning, Slip.” When he looks up, he flops back on his chair, narrowing his eyes into thin lines, and rubs his jaw. “What’s going on?”
“What? Can’t a girl buy her best friend a bagel filled with sour cream, cheese, and chives in the morning?”
“It’s not my birthday so what do you want?”
“Fine.” I let out a big breath. “I need you to come to Lennon and Avery’s wedding as my plus one.”
He lets out a laugh. “No. I’m going as a singleton.” He takes the bagel out of the bag and brings it to his mouth.
“Please, Josh.”
“No, Lillia.”
As his mouth nearly closes around the bagel, I snatch it back from him and turn to walk away. “Fine. No bagel for you.” I raise my chin defiantly.
“What are you going to do with it?” He sniggers. “You’re allergic to sour cream.”
Damn, he’s right. I stomp my foot a little. “I’ll give it to Mr. Franks.” I turn and stick my tongue out like a little girl, making him chuckle at my childish behavior. Time to beg.
“Please, Josh. I need you to do me this one favor.”I’ve been begging him for the past half hour of our lunch break to come as my plus one to Lennon and Avery’s wedding but he’s still not having it. I might as well be on my knees pulling at his pants leg. Hell, I’d suck his dick if that’s what it would take. You know, if he didn’t swing for the other team. I’m that desperate.
He throws his head back and lets out a big laugh while stirring his coffee. Picking up his coffee cup, he turns, looking at me, his blue eyes sparkling with amusement. He shakes his head. “No, Lillia. I’m not going to be some pawn in your little game of jealousy.”
My mouth pops open and I place my hand on my heart, feigning shock. “I…” I clear my throat and gather my thoughts. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I fold my arms over my chest.
“Please. Give me some credit,” he scoffs, opening a magazine. “Did you forget I’ve known you since we were five years old?” He peeks up at me with a raised eyebrow. “Why else would you ask your friend to be your date?” He makes quotation marks when he says the word date. “To a family wedding. Not just any wedding, but your twin brother’s wedding.” He stares at me. “So, come on. Which is it? Proving to your parents and other family members you won’t end up an old spinster surrounded by cats and fantasizing about all these hot billionaire fictional characters in the books you read?” He narrows his eyes at me. “No, that’s not it. Your parents aren’t shallow.” He taps his index finger on his chin. “I got it. There’s a guy back home you still hold a candle for and you want to make him see what he’s let go and make him jealous.”
My eyes widen at the last statement. I turn quickly to avoid his penetrating gaze and to hide my embarrassment.
“None of the above.” I lie through my teeth.
“If you stir that coffee anymore, you’ll cut a hole in the bottom.” He chuckles.
“Please, Josh! I’m begging you here.” I turn on the puppy eyes that usually get me my own way. “I’ll introduce you to my cousin Hugh, who I know you’ve been Facebook stalking since you saw a picture of him in my apartment.” I see a glimmer of light shine in his eyes at the mere mention of Hugh.
“Fine.” He sighs. Running towards him, I throw my arms around him and give him a crushing squeeze. “Yeah, yeah. Your cousin better be hung like a fucking stallion!”
I scrunch up my nose. “Ew. How would I know?”
“So, tell me about this boy who has you tied up in knots.” He lifts his coffee cup to his lips and sips.
I look at my watch. “Oh, look at the time. Better get Mr. Franks his coffee.” I lift his cup.
Josh narrows his eyes. “You can’t get away on the plane, Lillia,” Josh calls when I run out. The last thing I want to think about is Tristan.
The rest of the week flies by Josh and I are at Boston Airport, waiting on our luggage. I told him everything that went on with Tri
stan and me.
“Wow. Sounds like a complete fuck up and a game of push and pull on both parts.” He shakes his head.
“I told him how I felt, Josh. The ball was in his court,” I snap. How is any of this my fault?
“Lil. I love you like a sister. I’ve known you almost my whole life, but for a smart girl, you’re stupid.” He shakes his head a little.
“You’re calling me stupid?” I cross my arms over my chest.
“Yeah. Yeah, I am.” He snorts, laughing at me. “Tristan tried to talk to you and tell you how he felt. You chose some guy, who is a complete ass, by the way, instead of hearing him out. Sounds to me you didn’t want to listen.” He reaches down and lifts our cases. I stare at him, shocked. “Lillia, don’t look at me like that. I’m just looking at it from an outsider’s view.” He sighs. I’m hurt he’s taking the side of a guy he’s never met over someone he’s known all his life.
“I waited years for him to tell me. Let him play me, and use me over and over again. I wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine.”
“But in doing so, you almost got him kicked out of school.” He stops, turning to me and placing his hand gently on my shoulder. I look down. “Look, Lillia. You tasted his medicine and you hated it. You should have given him a taste of your medicine. The sweet, kind medicine. You were living in the moment, I get it. I’ve done it in the past myself. But think how it made you feel and think how it made Tristan feel seeing you with that Jared guy. With all his issues, you had to have known it would tip him over the edge.” He’s right. I know he’s right. I sigh heavily.
“When did you become so wise?” I narrow my eyes into slits, wondering what the hell happened to the Josh I left seven years ago.
“I grew up. Had a few heartbreaks on the way.” He winks, kissing my head.
“Oh my God.” I hear Avery squeal. I turn to see her barreling through the crowded airport, heading straight for me. She crashes into me, crushing me. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I can’t breathe.” I pat her back. “You’ll be a bridesmaid down if you don’t let me go.”
“Yeah, Avery. Let my sister go.” Lennon comes up behind her. She lets me go and claps eyes on Josh standing beside me. “Hey, sis.” Lennon kisses my cheek.
“Aren’t you going to introduce us?” Avery nudges me, still looking at Josh. Had she not be already engaged to my brother, I think she would go after Josh. She’s barking up the wrong tree.
“Sorry. Josh, this is Avery, the annoying best friend I was telling you about. Avery, this is Josh.” Josh holds out his hand, giving her his best panty-melting smile. She melts into a puddle on the floor. She takes it and smiles back at him, looking at him shyly. Josh turns up the charm by kissing her hand. Avery risks a look at Lennon, who just chuckles, shaking his head.
“Come on. Mom and Dad are waiting.” Lennon takes my case and my carry-on bag.
“So, Josh. What do you do? How did you and Lillia meet? Are you dating? Lillia never tells me anything anymore.” Avery throws a million questions at him.
I see the mischievous glint in his eyes. “I work in the same place as Lillia; that’s where we met.” He looks at me and winks. Smiling, I shake my head in disbelief that Avery is actually buying into all this. “The copy room if I remember correctly, right, babe?” He pinches my ass. My eyes bug out of their sockets and I fix him with a shocked expression.
“New York agrees with you, you little hussy,” Avery smirks. I roll my eyes at her. I already told her I was bringing an old friend from San Francisco to the wedding, I just dodged the questions about whether we were dating.
“When I saw Lillia, my heart went aflutter,” Josh places his hand over his heart, looking to the heavens above with an exaggerated sigh. “I knew I had to have her from the moment she flashed those beautiful green eyes at me, and I wanted those legs wrapped around my waist as I…”
“Joshua Lincoln, is that you?” Mom interrupts him going further. He turns his head slightly and locks eyes with Mom, who’s smiling widely at him. It’s like she’s been reunited with her long lost son. “My, how you’ve grown.” She hugs him.
“Mrs. Kennedy.” He grins at her. “You look stunning as ever.”
She hits him playfully on the chest. “Please. I’ve known you since you were in diapers. We’re past the formalities.”
Avery frowns, confused by this whole thing.
“Babe, we grew up together in San Francisco.” Lennon laughs, placing our bags in the trunk of the car. Avery glares at Josh who looks sheepishly at her and smiles apologetically.
“I told you about Josh loads of times, Av.” I giggle at her.
“Ugh.” Avery groans, throwing her arms in the air. “Are you two at least dating?”
“Nope.” Josh shakes his head. “I bat for the other team.” He winks at her.
“Shame. You two look cute together.” Avery shrugs one shoulder.
“Lillia, sweetheart.” Mom calls me to her with a beaming smile. “Will you be staying at our house?” The hopeful look in her eyes makes it difficult to say no. It’s not that I don’t want to stay there, it’s that the memories that live under that roof and in my bedroom make it difficult to relax. When Mom called me last night to get my flight details, I hadn’t decided if I was staying in a hotel or not.
“Yes, Debbie. We’ll be staying.” Josh slings his arm around my shoulder.
“Fantastic.” She claps her hands and we all pile in the cars and drive home.
“Wow. I see you’re still obsessed with unicorns and rainbows.” Josh drops his bag on the floor, looking around my room, picking up photos and laughing at them. “I remember this day.” He points at my cord pin board to the ticket stub. “Your Dad was so reluctant to take us to see Avenged Sevenfold. You would think we were asking him to take us to an orgy.” He chuckles. I laugh at the memory and join him in front of my memory board.
“We had some great times, didn’t we?” I sigh, hugging his midsection.
“We had the best times, Lillia. Now we get to make up for those lost years.” He grins down at me and kisses me on the cheek.
We turn to see Aiden standing in my doorway, his eyebrow raised. “Your mom said you were up here.” I release Josh and walk over to Aiden.
“I missed you.” My voice is quiet, and I place my head on his chest.
“Missed you too.” He kisses the top of my head. I can practically feel the inquisition about to begin.
“I’m going to freshen up before dinner.” I guess Josh can feel the questions about to begin too.
When Josh leaves, Aiden doesn’t waste any time. “So, you dating this Josh?”
I hold back the laughter bubbling inside me and turn to start unpacking my back. “No, Aid. Josh is my best friend from San Francisco.” I place my make-up bag on my vanity and catch his eye. “Remember, I told you about him before? He’s the one that got me into all things glitter.”
“Ah, yes.” He nods. I feel like he’s hiding something from me, the way his eyes dart from side to side, looking anywhere but at me.
“What’s going on?” I stand up straight and tilt my head to the side. He starts fidgeting; it’s his tell. Picking at his nails, he tries to change the subject.
“So, there's this photoshoot I need to do tomorrow and I’m a model short. I need someone ASAP.”
“What’s really going on, Aiden?”
Sighing, he walks closer to me, taking my hands in his. “I’m telling you this, not only because I love you like a sister, but because I want you to be prepared.” He takes another deep breath and lets it go. Whatever it is, it must be huge if he’s finding it hard to tell me.
“Aiden, you’re scaring me.” I swallow.
“Tristan is bringing a date to the wedding.” I feel the healing parts of my heart start to crack open once again. Just when I thought I was getting better, I’m right back to square one. Heartbreak knows a weak girl and it latches onto me, breaking mine again and again.
“O
h.” I force a smile on my face, willing the tears away. I refuse to cry anymore over Tristan Hunt. “Well, good for him. He deserves to be happy. If he’s happy, I’m happy.” I try to shake it off. Turning, I continue to unpack my suitcase, taking deep breaths.
“I’m sorry, Lillia. I feel shitty telling you, but I didn’t want you to see it firsthand at the wedding.”
“Don’t feel bad, Aiden. It’s not like we’re an item or ever were. He can bring whomever he likes to the wedding of his best friend.” I shrug. “I’m going to start getting ready. I don’t want Avery pissed at me for being late.” I smile a little.
“You sure you’re going to be okay with this?”
“Aiden, I’ll be fine. I have you and Josh.” I force the smile wider, showing him that I’ll be fine. He nods and hesitates to leave, but eventually does.
I flop down on my bed and let a tear slip from my eye. “Will you? Will you be okay watching him kiss another woman? Wishing it was you he was kissing, his hands all over your body?” Josh asks.
Sitting up, I look at him. He looks good in a suit. He’s standing in front of me, watching me with a sad expression on his face. “I have to be, Josh.” I start playing with the necklace Tristan had gotten me for my twenty-first. I’ve worn it every day since I opened it. Almost a year ago. “He doesn’t love me. If he can love another girl the way I love him then that girl will be the luckiest girl on Earth.” Another tear escapes down my cheek.
“Come here, Slip.” He sits next to me and allows me to cry on his shoulder.
“Oh my God.” Avery runs from the bathroom.
“What?” I jump. My heart rate spikes thinking something happened to her. I turn to see her wide-eyed and breathing heavily. “What is it? Is it your dress? Does it not fit?” I hold her shoulders, asking her question after question, trying to get an answer from her.
“No.” She shakes her head. “I’m getting married in the morning. How did that happen?”
“Um… you said yes?” I raise an eyebrow and lead her over to her bed, holding her hand, and I ask her the question I’m hoping isn’t the reason for her meltdown. “Are you having second thoughts?”
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