by Emily Forbes
‘My indiscretion!’
‘I know I’m not the first doctor on staff who’s welcomed you into his bed and I’m obviously not the last.’ He shrugged. ‘Who do you think is going to look like the victim?’
Ellie wanted to slap him. How dare he threaten her? She clenched her fist and stiffened her arm, forcing it to stay by her side. Slapping Rob wouldn’t help matters—he’d probably charge her with assault. ‘Don’t worry, no one’s going to hear anything from me,’ she seethed, before turning on her heel and storming off. She was furious, she needed her morning tea break, she needed a chance to get outside into the fresh air to clear her head.
She was amazed, again, at how badly she’d misjudged Rob’s personality. What bothered her, though, was what her misjudgement said about her. Was she really such a bad judge of character or had he kept the real Rob very well hidden?
She was still upset about his comments at lunchtime and on several occasions she almost mentioned something to James before she caught herself. She wasn’t confident that Rob’s threats were empty ones and she didn’t want to chance her luck. It would be just her misfortune that he’d meant every word he’d spoken.
But the following day Ellie still couldn’t help but replay the conversation in her mind and it bothered her just as much. She and James both had the day off and he was making her lunch at his house. She was hugely excited because she was finally getting to see where he lived but Rob’s threats were overshadowing the occasion and making it difficult for her to fully enjoy the moment.
‘You’re very quiet. Are you okay?’ he said as drove her from the farmers’ market, where they’d shopped for ingredients for lunch, to his house.
She was tempted to tell him about Rob. She wished she could discuss it with him, wished she could ask his opinion. She knew if someone else knew about Rob’s threats then it would be that much harder for him to get rid of her if he ever felt like it. But she was more afraid that Rob would carry through with his threat regardless so she kept silent.
‘Yes, yes, I’m fine. Just imagining what your house looks like,’ she lied. She forced herself to smile and tried to push thoughts of Rob to the back of her mind. She didn’t want unpleasant thoughts to spoil her day any longer.
‘Imagine no more, this is it,’ James said as he pushed a button and a garage door began to open.
The house was not at all what she had expected. It was a narrow, modern, two-storey building. The garage door and front door were polished wood but the house itself was rendered brick.
James parked his Jeep and lifted a large cardboard box out of the boot. Piled into the box were a selection of mushrooms, a huge loaf of bread, cheeses, pâté, olive oil, fresh pasta and a lime and coconut pie he’d selected at the market. Ellie had been amazed at the amount of produce he’d bought but he’d just told her she’d understand why when she saw the state of his fridge and pantry.
She carried her purchase, a bunch of irises, and followed him out of the garage to the front door. James put the box down to open the door, letting Ellie enter the house first. The hallway was narrow and a few paces inside a staircase, with stainless-steel railings and steps in the same polished wood as the front door, led to the floor above.
‘Head up the stairs,’ he told her. ‘The living areas are up there.’
Ellie followed his instructions and as she reached the top of the stairs the narrow confines of the house gave way to a magnificent open-plan living area with the most amazing harbour views. It was sensational.
‘Wow.’ The view led her to the front of the room where glass bifold doors opened onto a balcony. Still carrying the flowers, she went to stand by the doors. ‘The view is incredible.’
James had put the box onto the kitchen counter and was standing beside her. ‘I guess it is.’
‘You guess! I can’t believe you stay at the hospital instead of coming home to this. Don’t you miss it?’
James shrugged. ‘I leave home when it’s dark and usually get back when it’s dark too so I don’t get to see the view that often.’
‘Can we eat lunch out here?’ Ellie looked around, searching for a table. There was a barbecue and a small outdoor setting on the balcony but although there was space inside for a dining table there wasn’t one. There was a leather modular lounge, a flat-screen television, a bookcase and a few stools at the kitchen counter but that was it for furniture. It looked like they’d have to eat outside unless James planned on having them perch on the kitchen stools. Ellie knew the minimalistic look was the latest trend but she always thought houses looked a bit better with a bit of clutter. It gave them personality, made them looked loved.
Ellie then realised she was still carrying the flowers. ‘Do you have a vase I can put these in?’
‘You can check the kitchen cupboards while I pour us a glass of wine if you like.’
Ellie opened several cupboards, surprised to find most of them were only half-full. The cupboard above the fridge, which was where she would keep vases, was empty. The alcove for the fridge was huge and she had to stand on tiptoe to open the cupboard, although the fridge in place was only a small bar fridge. James opened the fridge as Ellie continued a fruitless search for a vase. He removed a bottle of wine and Ellie could see that, apart from wine and beer, there wasn’t much else in there. If that was his only fridge, she could understand why he’d bought so much at the market.
She finally gave up looking for a vase when she found a jug. She filled it with water and decided it would do.
The lack of possessions made her wonder if James hadn’t lived here long. Maybe he was still unpacking. ‘Have you just moved in?’ she asked as she put the jug of irises onto the bench and took the glass of wine he handed her.
‘No, I’ve lived here for a few years but I’m thinking of selling.’
She wondered why he hadn’t bothered buying furniture but she supposed he had his reasons. ‘How can you bear to move away from the views?’
‘There are plenty of views around Sydney if you can afford them. This was convenient when I worked at the Royal North Shore but driving across the harbour is a hassle, even with the tunnel. I want to be closer to Eastern Beaches.’
Ellie pulled out a kitchen stool and swivelled it so she could see both the view and James, where he stood beginning preparations for their lunch. ‘But where’s all your furniture?’ Her gaze travelled around the room again. Everything was in neutral shades, stone, latte and white, and even the modern sofa was in neutral, stone leather, plain and simple without any decorative cushions to give it some added colour. Even some aqua- or maybe lime-coloured cushions on the sofa would give the room a lift, she thought.
The tiled floor was clean but cold; there was one small, white rug in front of the sofa but no coffee table. Several of the walls were blank, their clean expanses broken only by empty hooks, hooks that must have remained after the paintings had been removed. There were a few photos scattered around and some childish artworks in primary colours covered one section of the wall but even these were arranged haphazardly. ‘Have you “decluttered” to put in on the market?’ she asked.
‘My ex took half of everything.’
‘Ex? When?’ Ellie wondered how long James had been living in this sterile atmosphere. She couldn’t imagine living like this for more than a couple of weeks. Had he been in a relationship very recently?
‘A few months ago,’ he said as he put a platter of cheese, pâté and biscuits in front of her. ‘When I called off the wedding she decided she deserved some compensation and she took it in the form of the furniture.’
Ellie nearly choked on her wine. ‘You were engaged?’ Hadn’t he told her he was never getting married? An ex-girlfriend she’d expected but an ex-fiancée was a bit of a surprise.
‘Is she going to get half the house too?’ Was that why he was selling?
‘No. I was lucky.’ He shrugged. ‘She could have argued that after being engaged for two years she was entitled to more. I was happy to g
ive her the furniture in exchange for my independence.’
Forget the furniture, Ellie thought. What was the point of a two-year engagement? Surely the idea of an engagement was to get married. ‘Two years! Who has a two-year engagement?’ she asked.
‘Not many people,’ he admitted.
‘What happened?’ Ellie hoped he wouldn’t mind talking about it. After all, he’d brought up the topic.
‘I’m not sure. We were both really busy at work, she’s a doctor too, and I guess I thought we had plenty of time. There was no hurry. But as our friends who got engaged after us started getting married before us she started to get into the whole wedding frenzy. And when she wanted to set a date I realised I just couldn’t do it.’
‘What do you mean, you couldn’t do it?’
He shrugged. ‘Our relationship had lost all the spark it’d ever had. And when we realised that, I realised I didn’t want to fix it. I was concentrating on my career, expecting our relationship to take care of itself, and when that wasn’t the case I realised I didn’t really care enough to change. I didn’t want to commit. I didn’t want to make more of an effort. When I thought about it honestly I couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life with her. I realised I didn’t love her and I knew that if we got married we’d end up divorced.’
‘Why on earth did you get engaged in the first place, then?’
‘I don’t know.’ He paused for a moment, as though trying to remember his reasons. ‘She moved in and it seemed like the next step in our relationship.’ He paused, as if trying to remember just what had gone wrong. ‘I think all relationships go the same way. They start off as all consuming and you can’t possibly expect that to last. That’s why I’m not planning on getting married. I nearly made the mistake once and only a fool makes the same mistake twice. Marriage isn’t for me.’
Ellie tried to put a positive spin on his revelation.
He was single, he was gorgeous and whether or not he thought he was marriage material was of no consequence to her. In fact, it was perfect. He was just what she needed to restore her confidence in herself and in men. He was honest and sexy and into her. He made her feel beautiful and, after Rob’s deceptions had destroyed her confidence, James’s attention was helping to restore it.
It didn’t matter to her whether he intended to get married or not, he was only in her life temporarily. She was trying to live in the moment. She didn’t need to waste time imagining a future with him. He’d made it perfectly clear where he stood on that issue, so all she needed to do was enjoy him. She knew the rules. She could handle this.
‘How are things with you and James?’ Jess asked as she and Ellie climbed into Adam’s car. Adam was overseas again after a brief visit home and they were borrowing his car as it was the only one at their disposal and they needed to get to their wine-appreciation class. This was the fourth class in the programme but they’d missed the second because Jess had had a clash with her shifts and the third one as Ellie had gone out with James. ‘I assume it’s all going well seeing as I’ve hardly seen you for a few weeks.’
‘It hasn’t been that long, has it?’ Ellie replied as Jess turned out of Hill Street and headed towards Bondi.
But Ellie knew Jess had a valid point. In the weeks since James had first kissed her, in the weeks since they’d first slept together, she knew she’d been swept up in the excitement of a new relationship. It was her way. It was all-consuming. When she was with James he was all she could think about and when she wasn’t with him he was still all she was thinking about. It was only through sheer force of will and habit that she was able to stay focussed at work but when he was on the ward with her, when she was surrounded by their bubble, it was terribly difficult.
‘Is he going to meet us at the Stat Bar later?’
Ellie shook her head. ‘I don’t think so. He’s having dinner with his mother.’
Jess gave her a sidelong glance. ‘Is that why you can make it to the class tonight?’
Between work and James she hadn’t had a lot of time for her friends. She knew she’d been neglecting them but she wasn’t strong enough to deny herself the pleasure that was James so whenever he was available she was with him.
‘Yep, sorry.’ Jess was right: if James had been free Ellie probably would have ditched the class in his favour.
‘Don’t apologise. I’m guessing the sex must be good: he’s certainly keeping you occupied.’
Ellie laughed. ‘The sex is fantastic but it’s about more than that. I feel like we belong together. Like I belong with him.’
‘And you didn’t feel like that with Rob?’ Jess asked as she flicked the car headlights on.
‘Not really. I never really knew where I was with Rob. I never knew when I would see him and it was all very secretive. I thought it was just his reserved English nature and I thought it was sweet that he wanted to keep me to himself but there was always part of Rob that he kept locked up and now I know why. Obviously there was a lot of stuff he was hiding but with James everything just feels open and honest.’
‘So he doesn’t have a wife and kids stashed somewhere?’
‘Not that I could see,’ Ellie replied. The ex-fiancée didn’t count, there was no need to mention her. ‘We talk about everything.’ They spent almost as much time talking as they did making love and she felt they had no secrets.
‘So he knows you want to get married and have babies?’
‘Okay, so there are a few things he doesn’t know about me but they’re irrelevant.’
‘Irrelevant! For as long as I’ve known you, your primary goal has been to get married and have a family. Don’t you think you might be setting yourself up for more heartache if ultimately he doesn’t want the same things as you?’ Jess asked.
‘We’re just having fun. Those things don’t matter.’
‘Since when?’
‘Since I’m trying something different. Remember, I’ve taken your advice. I’m choosing a man because he’s a good man, not because he’d make a good father.’ How could she explain there was no reason to tell him about her plans when he’d made it perfectly clear he never intended to get married? ‘He’s my experiment. I don’t expect that the chemistry we have can last, it’s too fierce. It burns like a supernova. So there’s no need to tell him about my future plans. I expect he’ll be long gone by then.’
Jess turned the car around a corner and veered wide to get past a van that was parked very close to the intersection. ‘Mmm,’ she said as she glanced at Ellie, ‘just make sure you don’t fall in love with him before the attraction extinguishes itself, then.’
Ellie was pretty sure she had things under control. Knowing James didn’t plan on getting married had immediately changed her perception of their relationship. Her heart was safe, she thought. She wasn’t going to fall in love.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw a flash of movement. Someone was running. Running straight towards them. ‘Look out!’ she yelled, but her warning was too late. Too late for them and too late for the jogger.
She heard a thud as the jogger collided with the front left corner of the car before bouncing off the vehicle. Ellie was thrown forward against her seat belt as Jess slammed on the brakes. She saw the man fly backwards and land on the kerb in a tangle of bloodied limbs. Long, lean limbs. Long, lean limbs, olive skin and curly dark hair.
‘Oh, my God. James.’
CHAPTER EIGHT
JESS pulled the car to a stop at the kerb. Out of habit Ellie made the sign of the cross with one hand while she undid her seat belt and threw open the car door with the other. ‘Call an ambulance,’ she said to Jess as she jumped out of the car and slammed the door behind her.
Her heart was in her throat as she darted to the sidewalk. ‘James?’
She knelt down beside him.
The crumpled figure lying on the edge of the road was a boy, not a man.
It wasn’t James. A surge of relief flooded through her even as she acknowledged that this person
was still injured and still needed her help. His right leg was twisted at an awkward angle and he had a dazed expression on his face. He was looking at her but Ellie was certain he wasn’t really seeing her.
She put one hand on his bare arm, making contact, trying to get him to focus. ‘My name is Ellie. I’m a nurse. I think you’ve broken your leg but I need to know if you’re hurt anywhere else.’
There was still no reply but neither was there silence. Ellie could hear music and she realised then that the boy had headphones in his ears and one had fallen out. It was his music she could hear playing.
Was that why he wasn’t responding? Couldn’t he hear her? She reached over and removed the other earphone, letting it hang, just as Jess arrived.
‘Are you all right? I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you until you were right in front of us.’ Jess crouched down beside Ellie as she spoke to the still silent youth.
‘Did you call the ambulance?’ Ellie asked her.
Jess nodded. ‘They’re on their way.’
‘Do you think there’s a blanket in the car? We need to keep him warm.’ He was wearing a thin singlet and shorts, running clothes, and Ellie knew his body temperature would drop quickly with the combination of the cool evening air and the shock. Jess returned to the car to see what she could find.
Maybe shock was the reason he wasn’t talking. She kept trying to elicit a response. ‘Can you tell me your name?’
‘Harry.’
Finally she was getting somewhere. ‘Okay, Harry, other than your leg, can you tell me if anything else hurts? Can you move your fingers for me?’
Harry opened and closed his fists.
Maybe simple questions were the way to go. ‘What about moving your elbows?’
He turned his head to look at her and Ellie had another flash of recognition. There was definitely something about him that reminded her of James. They had similar colouring and the same lean frames but it was more than that. Maybe the angle of his jaw or the way he held his head was familiar but she couldn’t immediately pinpoint it. Harry had straightened his right elbow but as he attempted to repeat this movement on his left side he gasped with pain and Ellie’s attention was brought back to the matter at hand.