by Robert Burns
These are my tenets, my lovely friend; and which I think cannot well be disputed. My creed is pretty nearly expressed in the last clause of Jamie Dean’s grace, an honest weaver in Ayrshire,— “Lord, grant that we may lead a gude life; for a gude life maks a gude end, at least it helps weel!”
I am flattered by the entertainment you tell me you have found in my packet. You see me as I have been, you know me as I am, and may guess at what I am likely to be. I too may say, “Talk not of love,” etc., for indeed he has “plunged me deep in woe!” Not that I ever saw a woman who pleased unexceptionably, as my Clarinda elegantly says, “in the companion, the friend, and the mistress.” One indeed I could except — One, before passion threw its mists over my discernment, I knew — the first of women! Her name is indelibly written in my heart’s core — but I dare not look in on it — a degree of agony would be the consequence. Oh! thou perfidious, cruel, mischief-making demon, who presidest over that frantic passion — thou mayest, thou dost poison my peace, but thou shalt not taint my honour. I would not, for a single moment, give an asylum to the most distant imagination, that would shadow the faintest outline of a selfish gratification, at the expense of her whose happiness is twisted with the threads of my existence. — May she be as happy as she deserves! and if my tenderest, faithfullest friendship, can add to her bliss, I shall at least have one solid mine of enjoyment in my bosom! Don’t guess at these ravings!
I watched at our front window to-day, but was disappointed. It has been a day of disappointments. I am just risen from a two hours’ bout after supper, with silly or sordid souls, who could relish nothing in common with me but the Port. — One! — Tis now “witching time of night;” and whatever is out of joint in the foregoing scrawl, impute it to enchantments and spells; for I can’t look over it, but will seal it up directly, as I don’t care for to-morrow’s criticisms on it.
You are by this time fast asleep, Clarinda; may good angels attend and guard you as constantly and faithfully as my good wishes do.
Beauty, which, whether waking or asleep,
Shot forth peculiar graces.
John Milton, I wish thy soul better rest than I expect on my own pillow to-night! O for a little of the cart-horse part of human nature! Good night, my dearest Clarinda!
SYLVANDER.
Detailed Table of Contents for the letters
IX
Thursday Noon, 10th January 1788.
I am certain I saw you, Clarinda; but you don’t look to the proper storey for a poet’s lodging —
Where speculation roosted near the sky.
I could almost have thrown myself over for vexation. Why didn’t you look higher? It has spoiled my peace for this day. To be so near my charming Clarinda; to miss her look while it was searching for me — I am sure the soul is capable of disease, for mine has convulsed itself into an inflammatory fever.
You have converted me, Clarinda. (I shall love that name while I live: there is heavenly music in it.) Booth and Amelia I know well.64 Your sentiments on that subject, as they are on every subject, are just and noble. “To be feelingly alive to kindness, and to unkindness,” is a charming female character.
What I said in my last letter, the powers of fuddling sociality only know for me. By yours, I understand my good star has been partly in my horizon, when I got wild in my reveries. Had that evil planet, which has almost all my life shed its baleful rays on my devoted head, been, as usual, in my zenith, I had certainly blabbed something that would have pointed out to you the dear object of my tenderest friendship, and, in spite of me, something more. Had that fatal information escaped me, and it was merely chance, or kind stars, that it did not, I had been undone!
You would never have written me, except perhaps once more! O, I could curse circumstances, and the coarse tie of human laws, which keeps fast what common sense would loose, and which bars that happiness itself cannot give — happiness which otherwise Love and Honour would warrant! But hold — I shall make no more “hair-breadth ‘scapes.”
My friendship, Clarinda, is a life-rent business. My likings are both strong and eternal. I told you I had but one male friend: I have but two female. I should have a third, but she is surrounded by the blandishments of flattery and courtship. The name I register in my heart’s core is Peggy Chalmers. Miss Nimmo can tell you how divine she is. She is worthy of a place in the same bosom with my Clarinda. That is the highest compliment I can pay her.
Farewell, Clarinda! Remember
SYLVANDER.
64 See Fielding’s Amelia.
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X.
Saturday Morning, 12th January.
Your thoughts on religion, Clarinda, shall be welcome. You may perhaps distrust me, when I say ‘tis also my favourite topic; but mine is the religion of the bosom. I hate the very idea of a controversial divinity; as I firmly believe, that every honest upright man, of whatever sect, will be accepted of the Deity. If your verses, as you seem to hint, contain censure, except you want an occasion to break with me, don’t send them. I have a little infirmity in my disposition, that where I fondly love, or highly esteem, I cannot bear reproach.
“Reverence thyself” is a sacred maxim, and I wish to cherish it. I think I told you Lord Bolingbroke’s saying to Swift— “Adieu, dear Swift, with all thy faults I love thee entirely; make an effort to love me with all mine.” A glorious sentiment, and without which there can be no friendship! I do highly, very highly, esteem you indeed, Clarinda — you merit it all! Perhaps, too, I scorn dissimulation! I could fondly love you: judge then what a maddening sting your reproach would be. “O! I have sins to Heaven but none to you!” With what pleasure would I meet you to-day, but I cannot walk to meet the fly. I hope to be able to see you on foot about the middle of next week.
I am interrupted — perhaps you are not sorry for it, you will tell me — but I won’t anticipate blame. O Clarinda! did you know how dear to me is your look of kindness, your smile of approbation! you would not, either in prose or verse, risk a censorious remark.
Curst be the verse, how well soe’er it flow,
That tends to make one worthy man my foe!
SYLVANDER.
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XI.
Saturday, Jan. 12, 1788.
You talk of weeping, Clarinda! Some involuntary drops wet your lines as I read them. Offend me, my dearest angel! You cannot offend me, you never offended me! If you had ever given me the least shadow of offence so pardon me, God, as I forgive Clarinda! I have read yours again; it has blotted my paper. Though I find your letter has agitated me into a violent headache, I shall take a chair and be with you about eight. A friend is to be with us to tea on my account, which hinders me from coming sooner. Forgive, my dearest Clarinda, my unguarded expressions. For Heaven’s sake, forgive me, or I shall never be able to bear my own mind. Your unhappy Sylvander.
Detailed Table of Contents for the letters
XII.
Monday Evening, 11 o’clock, 14th January.
Why have I not heard from you, Clarinda? To-day I expected it; and before supper when a letter to me was announced, my heart danced with rapture: but behold, ‘twas some fool, who had taken it into his head to turn poet, and made me an offering of the first-fruits of his nonsense. “It is not poetry, but prose run mad.” Did I ever repeat to you an epigram I made on a Mr. Elphinstone,65 who has given a translation of Martial, a famous Latin poet? The poetry of Elphinstone can only equal his prose notes. I was sitting in a merchant’s shop of my acquaintance, waiting somebody; he put Elphinstone into my hand, and asked my opinion of it; I begged leave to write it on a blank leaf, which I did, —
TO MR. ELPHINSTONE.
O thou, whom poesy abhors!
Whom prose has turned out of doors!
Heardst thou yon groan? proceed no further!
‘Twas laurel’d Martial calling murther!
I am determined to see you, if at all possible, on
Saturday evening. Next week I must sing —
The night is my departing night,
The morn’s the day I maun awa;
There’s neither friend nor foe o’ mine
But wishes that I were awa!
What I hae done for lack o’ wit,
I never, never can reca’;
I hope ye’re a’ my friends as yet,
Gude night, and joy be wi’ you a’!
If I could see you sooner, I would be so much the happier; but I would not purchase the dearest gratification on earth, if it must be at your expense in worldly censure, far less inward peace!
I shall certainly be ashamed of thus scrawling whole sheets of incoherence. The only unity (a sad word with poets and critics!) in my ideas, is CLARINDA. There my heart “reigns and revels.”
What art thou, Love? whence are those charms,
That thus thou bear’st an universal rule?
For thee the soldier quits his arms,
The king turns slave, the wise man fool.
In vain we chase thee from the field,
And with cool thoughts resist thy yoke:
Next tide of blood, alas! we yield;
And all those high resolves are broke!
I like to have quotations for every occasion They give one’s ideas so pat, and save one the trouble of finding expression adequate to one’s feelings. I think it is one of the greatest pleasures attending a poetic genius, that we can give our woes, cares, joys, loves, etc., an embodied form in verse, which, to me, is ever immediate ease. Goldsmith says finely of his Muse —
Thou source of all my bliss and all my woe;
Thou foundst me poor at first, and keep’st me so.
My limb has been so well to-day, that I have gone up and down stairs often without my staff. To-morrow I hope to walk once again on my own legs to dinner. It is only next street. — Adieu. Sylvander.
65 A native of Edinburgh, and a schoolmaster in London. He was a friend of Samuel Johnson
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XIII.
Tuesday Evening, Jan. 15.
That you have faults, my Clarinda, I never doubted; but I knew not where they existed, and Saturday night made me more in the dark than ever. O Clarinda! why will you wound my soul, by hinting that last night must have lessened my opinion of you? True, I was “behind the scenes with you;” but what did I see? A bosom glowing with honour and benevolence; a mind ennobled by genius, informed and refined by education and reflection, and exalted by native religion, genuine as in the climes of heaven: a heart formed for all the glorious meltings of friendship, love, and pity. These I saw — I saw the noblest immortal soul creation ever showed me.
I looked long, my dear Clarinda, for your letter; and am vexed that you are complaining. I have not caught you so far wrong as in your idea, that the commerce you have with one friend hurts you, if you cannot tell every tittle of it to another. Why have so injurious a suspicion of a good God, Clarinda, as to think that Friendship and Love, on the sacred inviolate principles of Truth, Honour, and Religion! can be anything else than an object of His divine approbation.
I have mentioned in some of my former scrawls, Saturday evening next. Do allow me to wait on you that evening. Oh, my angel! how soon must we part! and when can we meet again! I look forward on the horrid interval with tearful eyes! What have I lost by not knowing you sooner. I fear, I fear my acquaintance with you is too short, to make that lasting impression on your heart I could wish.
SYLVANDER.
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XIV.
Saturday Morning, 19th Jan
There is no time, my Clarinda, when the conscious thrilling chords of Love and Friendship give such delight, as in the pensive hours of what our favourite Thomson calls, “philosophic melancholy.” The sportive insects, who bask in the sunshine of prosperity; or the worms that luxuriantly crawl amid their ample wealth of earth, they need no Clarinda: they would despise Sylvander — if they durst. The family of Misfortune, a numerous group of brothers and sisters! they need a resting place to their souls: unnoticed, often condemned by the world — in some degree, perhaps, condemned by themselves, they feel the full enjoyment of ardent love, delicate tender endearments, mutual esteem and mutual reliance.
In this light I have often admired religion. In proportion as we are wrung with grief, or distracted with anxiety, the ideas of a compassionate Deity, an Almighty Protector, are doubly dear.
‘Tis this, my friend, that streaks our morning bright;
‘Tis this that gilds the horrors of our night.’
I have been this morning taking a peep through, as Young finely says, “the dark postern of time long elaps’d;” and, you will easily guess,’twas a rueful prospect. What a tissue of thoughtlessness, weakness, and folly! My life reminded me of a ruined temple; what strength, what proportion in some parts! what unsightly gaps, what prostrate ruin in others! I kneeled down before the Father of mercies, and said, “Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son!” I rose, eased and strengthened. I despise the superstition of a fanatic, but I love the religion of a man. “The future,” said I to myself, “is still before me;” there let me
on reason build resolve,
That column of true majesty in man!
“I have difficulties many to encounter,” said I; “but they are not absolutely insuperable; and where is firmness of mind shown but in exertion? mere declamation is bombast rant.” Besides, wherever I am, or in whatever situation I may be —
‘Tis nought to me:
Since God is ever present, ever felt,
In the void waste as in the city full;
And where He vital breathes, there must be joy!
Saturday night — half after Ten.
What luxury of bliss I was enjoying this time yesternight! My ever dearest Clarinda, you have stolen away my soul; but you have refined, you have exalted it; you have given it a stronger sense for virtue, and a stronger relish for piety. Clarinda, first of your sex, if ever I am the veriest wretch on earth to forget you, if ever your lovely image is effaced from my soul,
May I be lost, no eye to weep my end;
And find no earth that’s base enough to bury me!
What trifling silliness is the childish fondness of the every-day children of the world! ‘tis the unmeaning toying of the younglings of the fields and forests; but where Sentiment and Fancy unite their sweets, where Taste and Delicacy refine, where Wit adds the flavour, and Good Sense gives strength and spirit to all, what a delicious draught is the hour of tender endearment! Beauty and Grace, in the arms of Truth and Honour, in all the luxury of mutual love.
Clarinda, have you ever seen the picture realised? Not in all its very richest colouring.
Last night, Clarinda, but for one slight shade, was the glorious picture.
Innocence
Look’d gaily smiling on; while rosy Pleasure
Hid young Desire amid her flowery wreath,
And pour’d her cup luxuriant; mantling high,
The sparkling heavenly vintage, Love and Bliss!
Clarinda, when a poet and poetess of Nature’s making, two of Nature’s noblest productions! when they drink together of the same cup of Love and Bliss — attempt not, ye coarser stuff of human nature, profanely to measure enjoyment ye never can know! Good night, my dear Clarinda!
SYLVANDER.
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XV
Sunday Night, 20th January.
The impertinence of fools has joined with a return of an old indisposition, to make me good for nothing to-day. The paper has lain before me all this evening, to write to my dear Clarinda, but —
Fools rush’d on fools, as waves succeed to waves.
I cursed them in my soul; they sacrilegiously disturbed my meditations on her who holds my heart. What a creature is man! A little alarm last night and to-day, that I am m
ortal, has made such a revolution on my spirits! There is no philosophy, no divinity, comes half so home to the mind. I have no idea of courage that braves heaven. ‘Tis the wild ravings of an imaginary hero in bedlam. I can no more, Clarinda; I can scarcely hold up my head; but I am happy you do not know it, you would be so uneasy.
SYLVANDER.
Monday Morning.
I am, my lovely friend, much better this morning on the whole; but I have a horrid languor on my spirits.