I grabbed a bottle of some kind of vibrant green liquor. I took a sip straight from the bottle. It was super sweet and fruity. Too sweet. I poured some in a glass with ice and added a splash of soda.
“Be careful with that stuff,” Donny said. “It almost tastes too good.” He turned to his teammates, “I give it to all of the girls I hang out with.” No one was amused.
“You’re truly a terrible person, Donny,” Martin said.
“Ooh,” Donny teased. “Sounds like someone is jealous that he hasn’t been laid in a while. I bet Alexa here can help you with that.”
I could see the anger burning behind Martin’s eyes.
“Ignore him,” Martin said directly to me. “You don’t deserve to be talked to like that.”
His face was so serious, something that I didn’t see often. He was usually smiling or cracking a joke. I felt safe, protected. His eyes were so soft and comforting. His jaw was so strong and square, and I had the sudden urge to put my hand on his defined cheekbones.
“Don’t worry about,” I said. “I’ve heard it all before.”
I grabbed his wrist and brought him back to the table. Someone brought a trivia game over and we took a drink every time we got an answer wrong. It was so stereotypically Ivy League of us, playing trivia at a college party. This game became more challenging the longer we played because the alcohol wasn’t helping me recall facts from my memory. Eventually, I got bored and starting taking shots with some of the football players.
I was getting tired of standing around, so I took my cocktail over to the couch and plopped down.
“Feeling alright?” Sasha asked.
I just smiled stupidly. Coherent language was too difficult at this point.
Gia looked concerned. “Are you okay? You usually don’t drink this much. Do you want me to take you home?”
“I’m fine,” I slurred. “I’m not even that drunk. Honestly.”
They weren’t fooled by my lie. “I’ll get you a glass of water,” Sasha said.
Suddenly, Martin was sitting on the couch next to me. I was so happy to see him. I put my hand on his knee, sliding it up his strong thigh.
“You’re drunk,” he said with a grin.
“You are,” I replied.
“Not as drunk as you,” he countered.
I wanted him to take me to his room and kiss me. I wanted to feel his body, to be close to him. I wanted him to be mine, if just for one night.
“I’m going to get another drink,” I said. “And then I’ll be right back.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” he said.
On my way back to the kitchen, I peeked into Reg’s room. Sasha and Reg were making out. I smiled, but felt a pang of jealousy. If they dated, I’m sure their parents would be thrilled. I wanted that. Now.
I slammed a shot of vodka since that was easier than making a cocktail. I walked up to Martin, looked him straight in the eye, raised one eyebrow, and walked into his bedroom.
Martin
I know we said that we were going to be friends, but I couldn’t take it. I loved talking and laughing with her, but there wasn’t enough.
I thought platonic friendship could ease my cravings for her, but it just made them more intense. I wanted to stroke her silky hair and look into her big, brown eyes. I watched her lips as she talked and I wanted to feel them against mine.
Having a lot of people around made it easier to deal with the longing. Rumors would start if people saw us kissing or holding hands, and that would not help her situation with her parents. I didn’t even know her parents and I hated them.
I was talking with some guys from the team and the next thing I knew, she was sitting on the couch with a drink in one hand, and her head resting on the other. She’s completely trashed. That’s not usually a great look on most girls, but she still managed to look cute. Her sleepy smile was so sweet.
I commented on how drunk she was and she tried to say the same about me. I had plenty of drinks, but I rarely get drunk. Once again, she out drank me. Sasha said she didn’t have supper, so that probably wasn’t helping.
To be honest, I was a little worried about her. She hadn’t given me details, but what she said about being cut off and disowned was troubling. I wanted to reassure her and tell her everything would be fine, but I didn’t know that. I certainly couldn’t help her out in that department.
Seeing how drunk she was, I suppose I should have expected some PDA, but I didn’t and was caught off guard when she placed her hand on my knee. I nearly jumped off the couch when she ran her hand up my leg.
I didn’t want anyone to see, but I didn’t want her to stop. I was getting turned on and debating whether I should try to make a move on her or not. On one hand, my bedroom was just a few feet away. On the other hand, my dorm was filled with a bunch of people.
She got up to get another drink. I was about to tell her that I didn’t think it was a good idea, but if I knew anything about Alexa, it was that no one told her what to do.
As soon as she got up, Donny plopped down in her place.
“Dude, you gotta hit that tonight,” Donny said.
“Don’t you have somewhere you should be?” I pleaded.
“Nah, bro, I’ve come to give you some advice.”
“What do you possibly know that I don’t?”
“I’ve known you for three years now,” he said. “You could get all the girls you want. Chicks go crazy for the quarterback. It wouldn’t even matter if you were weird or ugly. Girls would still eat that shit up.”
“Thanks,” I said dryly.
“All I’m saying is, drunk girls are easy. Cheerleaders are pretty easy, too. This one is especially hot. If you don’t do her, I will.”
I pushed him away from me.
“What makes you think that she would want you?” I asked, getting angrier by the second.
“I don’t know about her, but I’m sure her parents would be okay with it.”
This struck a nerve.
“Please leave,” I begged. Alexa would be back any second and I didn’t want Donny to be sitting here when she did.
“Not until you promise me you’ll have sex with her tonight.”
“Okay, okay, fine,” I said quickly. Anything to make him leave us alone.
Instead of sitting back down on the couch, Alexa gave me what I think was meant to be a “come hither look.”
Her eyes were a little sleepy so it was hard to tell. She strutted into my bedroom, and shut the door halfway. Donny let out a whoop, and I returned it with a glare. I didn’t want anyone to spoil this for me. The party was winding down, and I hoped that everyone would leave us alone.
She sat on my bed and unstrapped her heels. She inched toward my pillows and patted the mattress next to her. I quickly obliged.
She rested her head against my shoulder, just like the night of our kiss. I was hoping we’d get further this time.
“This is…friendly,” I said, breaking the silence.
“I know I said I just wanted to be friends, but you look too good not to touch,” she slurred.
“You look amazing too,” I said. “When your hand was on my leg, I wanted to pick you up and throw you on my bed.”
She giggled. “I would have loved that.”
I thought about all the things I wanted to do to her. She’d probably like that too. I was a little worried she was too down for anything. She was pretty drunk. I’d had drunk sex before, and it was never as good as it was sober. What if the first time was sloppy and awkward? What if she woke up tomorrow with a hangover and regret? What if she didn’t even remember it at all?
I wanted her, but not like this. She was so drunk she could hardly stand. I thought about what Donny said and it made me feel queasy. I wasn’t looking for a one night stand. I wanted her and I to still be friends, or something more, in the morning.
“Let’s watch a movie,” I suggested, hoping she’d sober up a little.
“Okay,” she said, as she slid under
my sheets.
I chose a movie at random, knowing that we were probably both too distracted to even watch. I put my arm around her shoulders and she took my face in her hands and kissed me, hard. Her tongue was in my mouth; she tasted like a mixed drink. She straddled me and pulled my shirt over my head. Her hands were soft, slowing sliding down my sides.
She fumbled with the button on my pants. I stopped her, but I doubted that she had the dexterity at this point to get them open. Having her on top of me was unbearably arousing.
I tried to slow things down by laying her on the bed, but that only prompted her to pull her top off. She struggled with her jeans for a while before kicking them off onto the floor. She was down to just her underwear and bra and I wanted to take in the magnificent sight. I laid on my side and pulled her close to me, wanting to touch as much of her as I could.
“You’re so incredibly beautiful. Do you know that?” I said. Of course, she knew, but I couldn’t stop telling her that.
She smiled at me with closed eyes.
“Are you falling asleep?” I asked.
“No, I’m awake,” she responded, eyes still closed.
“Do you like me?” I asked. It seemed like such a childish question, but I wanted to know.
“Yes,” she mumbled. “Do you like me?”
“More than you can imagine.”
I held her in my arms and listened to our front door open and shut. The party was over, and I had Alexa all to myself. I figured if everyone was gone, I’d run out to the kitchen and get some water and snacks to help sober her up.
I peeled her hands off of me, threw on a shirt, and grabbed two bottles of water and a box of crackers from the empty kitchen.
I asked her if she wanted a snack, but she didn’t respond. I gently shook her and she let out a snore. I couldn’t help but let out a groan.
“Oh, Alexa,” I whispered. “We have the worst timing.”
Since I had snacks and the movie was still on, there was no point in bothering her. I’d let her sleep it off and make her breakfast in the morning to ease her inevitable hangover. When I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore, I stripped off my shirt and pants. I often sleep in the nude, so I was providing her a courtesy by leaving my underwear on.
I figured she would be fine with me sleeping next to her. After all, she was trying to get me naked before she fell asleep. I kissed her on the head and rolled her onto her side in case she got sick during the night.
I rolled the other way, hoping that just once, everything in the universe would align so we could have one perfect night together.
Maybe our relationship wasn’t meant to be perfect. Maybe she would always keep me guessing. Maybe this would all implode, and I would be turned into dust, her shining bright as ever.
I didn’t care. Against my better judgment, I would do whatever it took to be with her.
Alexa
When I woke up, I couldn’t even open my eyes. My head pounded so hard that it hurt just to raise my eyelids. Also, I hadn’t washed off my makeup, and a combination of mascara and false eyelash glue made things more difficult. I didn’t need to open my eyes right now anyway.
I drifted back to sleep for a minute. I dreamt that I was on the sideline cheering for Martin. There were more people in the stadium than I had ever seen in my four years on the team. My parents and Sebastian were sitting in the front row. I looked down and realized that I was wearing nothing but my bra and underwear. I tried to keep cheering like nothing was wrong, but thousands of people were pointing at me.
I woke with a start. I felt terrible. It took me a few seconds to realize that I had no idea where I was. It looked like my room, but none of these belongings were mine. I looked at the bed and saw Martin there, with a bare arm and leg hanging off the side of the bed. Why was he naked? Why was I in bed with him? Suddenly, I was very aware of my own nakedness. I quickly pulled my clothes on, waking him in the process.
“Good morning,” he said sleepily. “How are you feeling?”
“What is going on?”
“Please tell me you didn’t black out again,” his smile turning into a frown.
“I must have, because I have no idea why I’m here,” I said, frustrated.
“Don’t get upset, you’re the one who got in my bed first.”
“Who let me have all of that alcohol?” I asked.
“You did,” he responded. “We tried to convince you it wasn’t a good idea, but you kept pouring yourself drinks.”
“This is a nightmare,” I said, holding my pounding head in my hands.
“I’m sorry you feel that way. Last night was one of the best nights of my life. I wish you could remember it.”
“Are you kidding me?” I shouted at him.
I felt violated. We were in bed together, naked, and I didn’t remember a thing. If I was so drunk that I blacked out for several hours of my life, then how could I even be conscious enough to have sex?
I ran into his bathroom and locked the door. I steadied myself on the edge of the sink and cried. I really liked him. How could he have sex with me when I wasn’t even sober enough to be into it?
I looked in the mirror. I looked horrendous. Makeup was smeared all over my face and my hair was a tangled mess. I couldn’t walk back to my dorm like this, people would see. I took off my clothes and stepped into his shower.
I heard a knock on the door.
“Alexa, open the door. I don’t think you understand.”
I understood, all right. These guys were all the same. They act all sweet and kind, but they only want one thing. I felt stupid. I’d been in similar situations before, but with guys who meant nothing to me. I was starting to think I could really trust him.
I squeezed a small dollop of his body wash in my hand and rubbed on the sticky spots on my body. Someone must have spilled a sugary drink on me. The smell gave me instant flashbacks to resting my head on his chest.
I rinsed it off, but the smell stuck in my brain. I stuck my face under the running water for a few minutes, hoping the steam would help the alcohol seep out of my body.
When I got out of the shower and looked in the mirror, I looked just as bad as when I got in.
My makeup had melted in the shower and my hair was more matted. I found a single clean washcloth and scrubbed at my face until I looked more human and less raccoon-like.
After some searching, I found a cheap plastic comb and began working on my hair. Once it was smooth down to the nape of my neck, I gathered the rest of the poofy mess up, and tied it back with the hair tie I kept on my wrist. I still looked rough, but good enough for walking home without creating a scene.
I felt lightheaded and sat down on the edge of the tub. I cupped a few handfuls of cool water from the sink and sipped. I didn’t want to go back out into the bedroom. I couldn’t face him after what he did to me. Once again, I was embarrassed. Not for drinking too much, but for being vulnerable. I hated not being in control. I steadied myself, took a deep breath, and opened the door.
To my surprise, the room was empty. In the spot where I had slept was a plate of toast and bacon. There was a sports drink on the bedside table. The thought of eating anything repulsed me, but I knew it was the best way to get over a hangover.
Maybe it would give me the energy to walk back to my dorm. I nibbled at the toast, drying my mouth to the point where I could hardly swallow. I cracked open the drink and took a few small sips. I paused, waiting to make sure it would stay down. When it did, it took a few more slow, small bites.
I was about halfway done with my plate when Martin entered the room. So much for a stealthy exit.
“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” he asked, frowning.
“I don’t know what your confusion is. You aren’t the one who doesn’t remember anything,” I fired back.
“I can tell you everything about last night, if you’ll just listen to me.”
“Sure, I bet you’ll twist facts so you come off as the hero again.”
“I woke up in your bed, and both of us were practically naked. I don’t remember anything, so that means I was extremely drunk. I think I can put two and two together.”
“Never go into detective work,” he scowled. “Would you like me to tell you what really happened?”
I was silent. I didn’t really want to hear it. I grabbed my shoes and purse and tried the door handle. It was locked.
“This is sick,” I yelled. “Locking me in here, for what?”
“I didn’t lock it,” he said, genuinely confused.
He tried opening the door, but there was something in the way. He called Reg on his cell and ask him to help us.
“There’s something wrong with my door, Reg. Can you try to open it from the outside?” he asked.
“Well, um,” Reg stuttered. “We kinda barricaded the door.”
“You what?”
Reg hung up and I heard Sasha’s voice booming from the other side of the door.
“We’ve all had enough of your bickering. It’s time you work things out. When everything is fixed, we’ll let you out.”
I was furious. I just wanted to go home and nurse this hangover in peace and quiet.
“Now that we’re stuck here,” he said a little softer. “I’m going to tell you the facts. You got really drunk and came onto me. Don’t get me wrong; I was thrilled when you motioned me into my room.
We kissed, but I could tell that you were too drunk to do anything else. You took off my shirt and then you took off your own clothes. I was going to try to sober you up, but you passed out. That’s it.”
“If that’s everything that happened,” I started. “Then how can you call it ‘one of the best nights of your life’?”
He blushed.
“It’s not often that you get to share your bed with the captain of the cheerleading team.”
I scoffed and pounded on the door. “We figured things out,” I yelled to the door. “I figured out that Martin is an ass. You can let me out now.”
“Nice try,” Sasha answered. “The fact that we can still hear shouting isn’t a good sign.”
Dirty Indiscretions: A Dark Mafia Romance Page 20