by Dianne Drake
“If this is the worst he ever goes through you’ll be one lucky lady. Kids get sick every day. If they didn’t we’d have to find a new line of work.”
She chuckled. “You’re so good to me, Simon. You know exactly what to say and when to say it.”
“Comes from practice. Years and years of practice. Just doing my job,” he said, letting up a little on his grip around her for fear he was cutting off her circulation. Either that or creating a dependence he could ill afford to develop.
“This is going above and beyond the call,” she replied, snuggling back into him. “And I appreciate it.”
* * *
He knew he should pull away from her right now, but he liked the feel of her pressed tight to him, and it wouldn’t take much for him to ask her out on a rightful date when this crisis was over. Of course, he wouldn’t. She was a single mom and he’d promised himself he wouldn’t do that. So as much as he liked Del, even cared for her, he wasn’t going back on his word. Friendship was as far as he was taking it. Although, he wasn’t quite ready to define the level of that friendship yet.
Another snuggle and he’d be lost, he was sure. Yet he didn’t have it in him to pull back from her, especially not now when she needed him so badly. So he tightened up a bit, braced his back as well as his resolve and endured the feeling passing through him, the one that told him it would be very easy to develop feelings for Del. Whether or not they’d turn out to be serious feelings, he didn’t know, but there was some kind of feelings there nonetheless.
They sat there together like that for the next hour, with her clinging and him regretting until the pediatrician on call came out and told them that Charlie’s barium enema seemed to have worked out the kink just fine.
“I want to keep him here for a couple days to watch him,” Dr. Knowles said. “But right now everything looks good.”
“He’s sleeping?” Del asked, pulling away from Simon and adjusting her white lab coat.
“Sound asleep, and I’d like to keep him that way for a few hours, if we can, so when you go in to see him try and be quiet.”
Del nodded. Then looked at Simon, who’d backed away from the whole scene. “You coming with me?” she asked him.
“No, I don’t think so. The more of us in the room, the more likely the odds of disturbing him are. So I think I’ll go back over to the clinic for now and catch up with you later on.”
“I’m grateful for your support, Simon,” she said, reaching out to take his hand. It was soft and gentle and large the way he was. “I couldn’t have gotten through this on my own.”
“Call me if you need anything,” Simon said, then nodded to Dr. Knowles. “Thank you for what you did to help Charlie,” he said, then turned and left the waiting area.
Brian Knowles smiled. “You make a cute family,” he said.
“We’re not a family. Simon’s just a friend.”
“Couldn’t tell that from where I was watching.”
“Then you were watching from the wrong spot because Simon and I have nothing going between us.” Even though she wanted to, her feelings were growing so strong for him.
“Well, I’ve seen families with a whole lot less going on between them. All I can say is, you look good together, and Simon looks like he really cares.”
There was no point in arguing the matter with the pediatrician. He’d already made up his mind and had her and Simon and Charlie posed together as a family. Of course, maybe that was what it looked like, the way she’d clung to Simon during the entire procedure. “When can I see him?” Del asked.
“Now. He’s in Recovery, but you can go sit with him there, then after he’s transferred to a regular room you can spend as much time with him as you want.”
“Was there anything I could have done?” she asked nervously.
“Just what you did. It’s a relatively rare condition and one that doesn’t always get caught in time. I’d say, between you and Simon, you did an excellent job of catching and diagnosing it before it progressed too far. As for whether or not it’s cured, time will tell, but I’m willing to bet it’s probably a one-time incident. At least I hope it is.” Dr. Knowles shook hands with Del and exited the room, leaving her standing there alone, feeling grateful and scared all at the same time. She didn’t want to be alone just yet, but Simon had made it abundantly clear his involvement there was done. She was glad for as much of him as she’d gotten, but she wanted more just now. Wanted his comfort again, as she was still upset and his seemed to be the calming influence that had got her through.
* * *
It was three hours before Charlie was moved into a private room, and Del was right there with him every step of the way. Simon had called once, albeit a very brief and businesslike call. And Dr. Knowles had stepped in to have a look one time, pleased with the results so far. “It’s looking good,” he said to Del, as he hurried back out to see another patient. Leaving her and Charlie there virtually alone again, except for an occasional check by a nurse.
“You scared me to death,” she told her son as she took hold of his hand and he gripped on for dear life. “But you’re going to be fine. The doctor said you’re making a good recovery so far.”
“I understand you’ve arranged for more time off work,” Simon said from the doorway. “I was going to put in the request for you, but you beat me to it.”
“That’s what I said I was going to do.” She shrugged, secretly glad to see him, and trying to act aloof about her feelings all at the same time. “I’m used to doing things on my own.”
“Well, I wasn’t sure if that was you or a panic attack talking.” He smiled as he walked over to the crib and looked down on Charlie. “Good-looking boy,” he said. “He looks just like you.”
She smiled. “I’m surprised you came back. I thought maybe I’d scared you off earlier, being so clingy.”
“Your son was having a procedure. You were entitled to be clingy. So, what’s the word?”
“So far it’s all good. He can go home day after tomorrow if everything goes well.”
“It will,” Simon said confidently. “And in the meantime, I’ve ordered a pizza to be sent here to the hospital since I figured you haven’t eaten all day.”
“I hadn’t,” she admitted. “Too worried.”
“Well, I ordered large because I thought I’d hang around and split it with you, if you don’t mind.”
“I’d welcome the company. And the pizza,” she added, realizing how hungry she was now that the ordeal was over.
Dinner was neither fancy nor romantic, but she appreciated the gesture. In fact, had he not reminded her she hadn’t eaten at all, she probably would have gone the rest of the day and maybe had some graham crackers from the nurses’ station. But Simon had been so kind and thoughtful that she wondered why he was still single. Not every woman out there had a child and certainly he could have and probably should have attracted someone who liked him for all his endearing qualities. Maybe he just wasn’t ready. Or he was mistrustful, which was certainly something she understood.
“This was awfully nice of you,” she said, debating her second slice of pizza. “Does your ex-wife know what she let get away?”
“More like shoved out the door. She was all set for wealthy and I wasn’t.”
“Doctors aren’t always wealthy,” Del defended. “I’m comfortable, but you could hardly consider it wealthy.”
“A lot of people don’t understand that. Especially my ex. I had student loans to pay back, a family to support. It was a lot of responsibility.”
“A lot of people don’t count, but your ex should have in the manner in which she expected things from you. Personally, I’m not all that concerned with the material gains in my life. I want to make Charlie comfortable but I don’t need to be wealthy to do that.”
“So if the man
you decided on was temporarily tapped out...”
“Wouldn’t matter one way or another. I’m looking for character and integrity. Someone who’ll be decent to my son and grow to love him. That’s more important than anything else, at least in my opinion.” Someone like Simon, she thought to herself. He would be the perfect man in her life, if he wanted to get involved. Of course, he didn’t, which made her wary of her growing feelings for him.
“So would you ever find yourself in a relationship with someone who wasn’t so tapped out as you are?”
“Depends on who she is, I suppose. My next go around, if there ever is another one, is going to be with someone who’s down to earth, someone who values things other than financial gain.”
“And her financial status wouldn’t matter to you?”
He shrugged. “Get me to that point and we’ll see. I’d like to think I’m more responsible than that but who knows? We all make our mistakes, I guess. Mine was thinking she’d change.”
Del laughed. “That’s what I thought, too. You know, you wake up one morning with the person you want who has magically changed overnight from the person you had.”
“I stayed for Amy’s sake and look where that got me.” He sighed as he closed the pizza box. “None of it’s predictable.”
“Is that why you haven’t gotten together with someone else?”
“Big mistrust factors on my part, and I’ll admit it,” Simon said. “I proved what kind of a bad choice I made the first time and I don’t want to go there again. So for me it’s easier being single.”
“I get the mistrust factor. That’s why I had Charlie with no one else involved. I wanted a baby but I didn’t want someone else involved who might injure him the way I was injured during my relationship with Eric. Bringing up a baby alone was my choice and a good option for someone my age, I think.”
“But don’t you ever wish you had someone there to share parenting duties with? Another person who loves him as much as you do, who can help you when you need it?”
“I never thought I did, until today. But today was out of the ordinary.”
“So what happens next time he gets sick and there’s no one around to help you? I can tell you from experience it’s easier raising a child with two parents than one. That’s the kind of built-in support you need.”
“But from the way you tell it, you had only you.”
“I did. Yvette was more than happy to pass Amy off on me and it wasn’t easy working and raising a child all at the same time. I really wanted things to be different, where she assumed part of the parenting chore, but she never did. I was the designated parent in the relationship and she was the one who was free and clear to do what she wanted without the involvement. In fact, if she hadn’t met someone else I have an idea she would have still hung onto me because she knew how deep my feelings for Amy were.”
“And you would have stayed?”
“Probably.”
Del shook her head. “Sounds to me like I’m better off being a single parent than having someone else around who doesn’t care as much as I do.”
“The thing is, parenting is a tough job and the older they get, the tougher it gets. Charlie’s just a baby right now, but what about when he’s five or six and needs a man around?”
“What about when he’s five or six and doesn’t need a man around?” she asked him. “Not all kids have two parents and most of them turn out just fine.”
“But how do the parents turn out? What happens when you don’t have someone to lean on?”
“Then I don’t lean. It’s as simple as that.”
“You needed me today, Del.”
“Because I was scared and this was Charlie’s first real sickness outside a cold. And it wasn’t about Charlie anyway. It was about my weakness. But I’ll get better as I get more used to being a single mother.”
“Maybe you will. Personally, though, I never got over needing someone else to help me raise Amy, and she had a mother.”
“We all make our choices, Simon. You chose to raise Amy the way you did and I chose to have Charlie and raise him the way I am. Initially, I didn’t get any support from my parents. They thought it was crazy. But once they saw their grandson...” She shrugged. “They changed, I changed and everything in my life changed all because of my decision. If you’d been allowed to stay and raise Amy your life would have been different, too.”
“Which is why I won’t do that again. It rips your heart out when the child isn’t yours and you’ve got no legal claim.”
“So we’ve both exercised alternately good and poor judgment that got us where we are today. What can I say?”
“That we’re human.” He stood and picked up the pizza box. “Look, I’ve got to go. I’ll be working for two for a couple of weeks and I need to get to bed early tonight. If you need anything, give me a call...I assume you’re spending the night here.”
“I am. And thanks, but I’ll be fine.”
“Need some clean clothes? I can drop them by in the morning?”
“I was thinking about running home once Charlie’s down for the night, grabbing a shower and changing my clothes, then coming back here and sleeping.” She pointed to the bed next to the crib. “Not comfortable, but it will do in a pinch.”
“How about breakfast in the morning? Or coffee?”
“Coffee would be lovely, but you really don’t have to take care of me, Simon. I’m good on my own.”
“Which is why you hadn’t eaten today?”
She smiled up at him. “It would have come up at some point. I’m not a martyr to the cause.”
“I think you are, but that’s an opinion we’ll save for another day since I really do need to get home.”
“Thanks for everything you’ve done today.”
“My pleasure,” he said, thinking it was his guilty pleasure as he enjoyed his time with Del way more than he intended to.
“I’ll...I’ll see you around. Maybe I’ll stop in the clinic when I know Charlie’s one hundred percent.”
“Or maybe I’ll stop by your place one night and bring dinner. There’s this great Chinese restaurant just down the street from me and...”
“Ming’s?” she asked as her eyes lit up.
“Ming’s,” he answered. “Great—”
“Egg rolls!” she finished his sentence. “I like the vegetarian.”
“And I like the pork.”
“So we have a difference of opinion,” she said, laughing as Charlie started to cry. He was strapped down with so many tubes and monitors it looked uncomfortable to her so she knew it had to be to him. She stood from her chair and picked him up gently so as not to disturb his IV or his NG tube.
“And on that note I’ll say good-night and leave you two alone.”
* * *
She’d gone home, taken her shower, changed her clothes and packed an overnight bag for both her and Charlie and headed right back to the hospital only to find him still sound asleep. It had been quite the ordeal for him today, and one for her, as well. Without Simon...well, she didn’t even want to think how her day would have progressed without him. Going through all that alone just wasn’t appealing. She had called her parents, who were on their way back from Costa Rica to help out, which she appreciated, but that help was a little too late, and for the first time ever Simon, combined with Charlie’s illness, had showed her just how utterly alone she was as a parent.
It had never scared her before but now it unsettled her knowing she was in this all by herself without a nearby shoulder to cry on. Truth was, she didn’t have a lot of friends—her job had taken care of that. And she had no brothers or sisters. Not even any cousins she could call on. So her backup plan was, well...no one. Which was why she was so glad to have Simon there with her for support. Not that she considered him her back
up plan or anything like that. In fact, she wasn’t even sure she considered him more than a casual friend yet. But things seemed to be leaning in a different direction, which made her glad he wasn’t interested in anything more than a casual friendship because that would signal the end of things between them, since casual was all she wanted. Two peas in a pod, she decided. They both wanted the same thing for different reasons. How absurd was that?
* * *
He probably shouldn’t have been so forthright with her about the way she was bringing up Charlie, as it was none of his business how she raised her child, whether that be alone or with someone else to help her. But he remembered how difficult it had been raising Amy without any help and the older she’d got, the more help he’d needed. It hadn’t been easy, being a daddy without much of a clue, but he wouldn’t have changed a moment of it because he’d loved that little girl. Still did. And he’d take her back in a heartbeat if her mother ever cared to give her up, which wasn’t going to happen as Amy was a shining star who drew other people in. Yvette used that to her advantage. Took every chance she could to push Amy right on out there.
So he’d wanted to impart his wisdom, except his situation with Amy was nothing like Del’s with Charlie. She’d made her choice and the one thing he knew for sure was that Del would never use Charlie as a pawn in her own schemes the way Yvette did with Amy. Del’s love for her baby was true all the way.
Still, he didn’t want to see things going so hard on Del and he knew they were right now, judging from the way she’d clung so desperately to him yesterday. It was as if he were the starch she needed to keep herself from collapsing, and if something ever happened to Charlie when he wasn’t there to hold on to Del, he wondered how she’d manage to get through it. Her true colors as a caring mother had really shown through, but so had her frailties over being alone. Except, she wouldn’t admit that was what he’d been seeing. One good, objective look was all it took, though. From him, even from her if she weren’t so personally involved.