“Is it the injury to your head that troubles you?” he asked worriedly, fearing another lapse in memory.
“I don’t think so. I was a little dizzy for a few minutes, but it’s passed. Was I this awful on all our other journeys?” she teased, hoping to lighten the tension.
“Hiya. You traveled easy the other times, even when you carried our son. But you are still suffering from the wound. Come, ride with me.”
She met his entreating gaze and smiled. “Only for a little while,” she finally agreed.
He laughed. “You are a proud and stubborn woman, Shalee.”
“And you are a proud and stubborn man,” she retorted fondly.
He quickly explained her lingering weakness from her attack. The others smiled and nodded agreement that she should ride with her husband for a while. He mounted up and reached down for her. He started to question the strange look that filled her eyes at his action, but didn’t.
She rested her head against his chest, her arms encircling his narrow waist. She speculated upon her feeling of having done this before. She moved her hands at his back. Why had she imagined for a moment they were bound?
They rode thus for two more hours. Shalee dozed several times, fighting the intangible sensations that plagued her mind. Later, they halted to eat and to rest. Within moments, she was asleep in his arms. He worried over the paleness of her face and the rosy splotches upon her cheeks. He tested her forehead for a fever, but found none. Perhaps she had done too much too quickly, he assumed.
But the next day upon the trail was vastly different. Shalee grinned at him each time he came to check on her progress and condition. This time, she traveled without any problems until they halted for rest. As they sat together upon a buffalo mat, she remarked happily, “See, I did just fine today.”
“Sha. You did just fine.” They slept for two hours before beginning their seasonal trek again.
The days and nights blurred into one seemingly endless episode of walking, eating, walking, resting, walking, sleeping, and more walking in her sleep. The tribe was spread out over such a lengthy distance, there was little chance for socializing. During their periods of rest, most families spent their time together. The days were long and taxing; the nights, too short and demanding.
She found herself wanting and needing Gray Eagle, but unable to have more than a kiss or a light touch. Most nights, their son slept between them or on one side of them. During the day, he would burst with energy and vitality, running here and there to chat or visit as they steadily moved along. Shalee felt as if this trek would never end.
On the fifth day of their journey, they camped for one full day at this halfway point. They had reached a spot where trees and lofty hills surrounded them. They halted near a wide stream to fill their water skins, play in the refreshing water, and enjoy this brief respite in their rigorous schedule. When the horses were secured to a lengthy rawhide rope near the riverbank where they could drink and nibble at the lush grass, an air of elation filled the area.
They ate from the swiftly dwindling supply of wasna and aguyapi. Soon, the men would need to hunt for fresh game and the women for wild vegetables and berries. Friends and families visited amongst themselves, relating tales of past adventures or discussing the new season of life on the Plains. Many bathed and splashed in the cool stream. Others strolled around to relieve taut muscles and excessive suspense.
Shalee glanced up to see Leah heading for the stream to fill Running Wolf’s water skins. She suddenly realized how wonderful these past days of avoidance had been; she had almost forgotten Leah’s existence!
Gray Eagle came back from his meeting with a group of warriors who were chosen to guard the camp during the night. He dropped to the earth and assumed his normal cross-legged position. Soon, it would be time to call Bright Arrow from his revelry with the other boys. Having been told they would sleep on this same spot, Shalee was busy stretching out their sleeping mats as she had done each night since this trip began. She glanced over at her husband. A scowl lined his handsome features. She followed his line of vision to where Leah was making her way from the stream to where Running Wolf was sitting upon his own sleeping mat and conversing with two other warriors.
Her inquisitive gaze shifted from Gray Eagle’s frown to Leah’s inviting smile. Wouldn’t she ever learn her lessons! How dare she openly flirt with the future chief of this awesome tribe, her husband! Was she blind or simply brazenly daring? Didn’t she think others would notice and wonder at her wantonness and boldness? Didn’t he? Why did he permit her unforgivable conduct and actions? She had practically ravished him that day, and perhaps other days? Why was he so tolerant and lenient with her? She was just like Chela! She was vindictive and conniving! Both had resented her presence in Gray Eagle’s life and wanted to replace her.
Chela, vindictive and conniving? Resented her and wanted to replace her? Why would she make such a comparison? She shrugged in puzzlement. It must have been the things he had told her about Chela and their past relationship, she surmised casually and dismissed her insight. Perhaps her imagination was playing tricks on her, but she couldn’t forget Leah’s past insinuations or her suspicions about them.
Shalee drilled her stormy gaze into her husband’s profile, her irritation mounting as he continued to observe that white witch. What was his fascination with her? If there was nothing between them, why did they behave so oddly? As if sensing the power of her intense gaze upon him, Gray Eagle’s head slowly turned. Shalee was glaring at him! Her eyes went to Leah’s retreating back and swaying hips, then back to his now stoic face. A chill walked over him as he viewed the anger and accusation exposed in those green pools of ice. He lifted a quizzical brow. Her eyes froze as he pretended not to know the source of her vexation.
“Do you wish to take a walk?” he asked, governing the strain in his tone.
“No, I do not, Gray Eagle. Perhaps you can find another friend to keep you company. Perhaps you have been rudely ignoring some special friend since my unexpected return,” she sneered sarcastically, her gaze drilling into Leah’s back and then his face once more. She sat down upon the mat and presented her rigid back to him.
Irrational and erroneous suspicions filled her heart and mind anew. What if Gray Eagle had known of her presence near the stream that formidable day? What if his actions and words had been a deceitful ploy to convince her of his loyalty and love? What if there had been something between him and Leah while she was presumed dead, or even before that time? Were Leah’s fury and bitterness those of a woman scorned? Was she actually in love with Gray Eagle? Was she desperately attempting any measure to regain him? Was there any truth to her prior claims? Did some brutal rejection following a torrid and secret affair explain her arrogance and bold intimacy? Had her husband given Leah reasons to desire him, to brazenly pursue him? Why did he accept her actions so calmly? Perhaps she had been a blind fool to trust him so completely, so swiftly, so romantically!
Gray Eagle speculated upon her sudden change in mood and behavior. Why had she glared at him and Leah in that curious manner? Why had she suddenly turned against Leah? Why was she furious with him right now? As deadly and quickly as lightning strikes a tree, the truth dawned upon him. He had been staring at Leah; Leah had been smiling enticingly at him; he had done nothing about her audacious behavior; Shalee had been watching their interaction all the time. What was his wife thinking and feeling? The look in her eyes was not one of simple jealousy or mild irritation. There had been tacit accusation and fury in her snowy expression! Why?
“Shalee?” he called softly to her. She stiffened and refused to turn or to answer him. Dread escaped his mind and ravaged his body. Something was going on inside her lovely head, something that alarmed him.
“Let’s go for a walk, Shalee,” he stated more firmly, making his words sound like an order rather than a genial request.
“I do not hold you captive, Gray Eagle. If you wish to visit friends, you are free to do so. I wish to rema
in here… alone.”
Why did she keep emphasizing certain words, peculiar words? “Are you ill? Do you wish to sleep this early?” he solicitously inquired.
“It isn’t necessary to trouble yourself about my health and safety. I’m fine. I wish to think for a time,” she added in a curious tone.
“Think about what?” he asked, a quiver in his voice.
“You and me and all the things you told me about us. Before, I merely accepted your words as truth and fact. Perhaps I did so too hastily,” she sassily informed the startled warrior.
“What do you mean?” he probed unsteadily.
“I think you know exactly what I mean,” she sneered. She jumped up and headed for the stream. She sat down upon the bank and dangled her sore, bare feet in the refreshing water. Such a disturbing collage of rapidly appearing and disappearing images darted through her mind to haunt her and befuddle her. What was the matter with her? Why did her head pain her so during these fanciful moments? Why was she so curt and jumpy?
He came and sat down beside her, watching her intently. “You think I spoke falsely about us?” He bravely came to the point.
“Did you?” she challenged just as boldly.
“No, Shalee; I did not,” he stated honestly.
“You’re saying you’ve never lied to me?” she charged heatedly.
“I spoke the words of truth to you,” he vowed, piqued and insulted.
Even when you let me believe you couldn’t speak English for months, she clearly heard her warring mind debate. Her mental deliberation continued. I do not understand. He spoke English to me that first day, her logic countered in bewilderment of her implausible insinuation. Why did she think it was months before he told her the truth? She struggled to recall his exact words concerning their first meeting and those following weeks.
I must have meant days, she reasoned anxiously. It was days before he finally came to Brave Bear’s camp to find her. Had he been too busy with Leah to even realize she was missing? No, he had explained about the messages gone awry. Why did this white girl spark such suspicions and self-doubts within her? Gray Eagle had given her no reason to mistrust him.
He studied her for a time. Had she meant she was doubting him? It was unlike Shalee to question and mistrust him. But this female wasn’t Shalee, not in mind, only in body; that fact plagued him.
Shalee remained ominously silent and thoughtful. This wasn’t the first time she had been harassed by strange remarks and moody behavior. Could it be possible she was recalling bits of her past? Was it possible she didn’t even realize it? That first day on the trail when she became ill, why had she stared at him so strangely? Why was she frequently haunted by feelings of déja vu? If she truly had amnesia, why did some events seem so real?
Stunned by her change of mood, he stared at her. “What has Leah got to do with our life?” she quizzed seriously. “What powerful force passes between you and her? Why do you allow her open flirtation?”
“Do you doubt me? Answer me and I will explain,” he stated mysteriously. “If you think my words false, speaking is useless.”
“Why,” she pressed, feeling uneasy, mildly threatened.
“Tell me,” he sternly commanded, the sheer force of his voice compelling her to reply before thinking. “Do you think I lie to you?”
It would sound silly, she feared. For a moment she had thought that same event had taken place before, as with others she had witnessed or dreamed. How could she logically explain her weird feelings, and those intimidating illusions of him dressed or acting differently, again waiting for her to come to him or to be brought to him?
Guilt flushed her cheeks, but for another reason he would never suspect. “Why would you ask me that? Do you think I’m crazy? That would supply a good reason to replace me with Leah.”
“No, Shalee, madness does not touch your mind. Perhaps doubts about me and your past do,” he suggested, his expression wistful and grave.
She longed to question him about her illusions, to learn if they had some factual basis; but she couldn’t bring herself to do so, not yet. She turned to face him fully, her gaze wide and seeking. “Why?”
“You have lived with me many moons. The Bluecoats raided our camp, injuring you badly. They thought you a white captive and saw no worth in your life. You awakened to learn your people were your enemies and I am your husband. Such words are hurtful and confusing. You compare me to the white man and his ways. I am a warrior, an Oglala. You think because I thought you dead I would take another woman. I did not. You are my love.”
“But…” she faltered in uncertainty.
Perhaps the past was slowly returning to her? When she reviewed the other episodes, she smiled and prayed it was. Still, they were such a few events in a five-year span. “Leah troubles you deeply. Soon, it will not be so. When the summer camp is ready, Running Wolf is to sell her. She will leave our camp forever. There is nothing between us; this I swear to you.”
“She wants you, Gray Eagle,” she declared angrily.
“Wanting and possessing are not the same, Shalee. I want and need only you. When your thoughts return, you will know this truth.”
“Why can’t I remember everything now?” she panted in exasperation.
“Perhaps there is some lesson or test in this matter.”
“For me or for you?” she asked seriously.
“Perhaps for both,” he candidly replied.
“You swear you have no love or desire for Leah?” she insisted.
“Sha. Only for you, Grass Eyes.”
How could she deny the love and lucidness in his compelling eyes? How could she take her insecurities and uncertainty out on him? It wasn’t fair. “Perhaps I am only troubled and foolish, but I believe you. I was just angry and upset when I saw her looking at you. You did nothing! Why?”
“You asked me to leave the matter alone, to keep the eyes and ears of others from the offensive matter,” he reminded her.
“That’s going to be difficult with you and her exchanging those curious looks! I’ll be glad when she’s gone; I don’t like her or trust her.”
“You never did,” he stated casually. “You did not understand my expression. Leah has been too friendly with our son these past moons. She shows her face as boldly as Wi. I do not’ understand her reckless courage. Does she not fear for her safety and position with us? She is strange.”
Surprised by his deductions, she looked up at him. “But Leah said we were friends, that we worked together. She said I protected her from abuse. She said…” Shalee’s eyes widened with enlightenment. “She lied to me. She was only trying to cause trouble and to ensnare you. She was playing upon my loss of memory. She tricked me! Why, that little tart!”
“Leah claimed you two were once friends?” he pressed in disbelief.
“Yes. She said because I was white that I befriended and helped her.”
“What other lies did she tell you?” he suspiciously demanded.
Shalee blushed. “It doesn’t matter now. I know she lied.”
Afraid he couldn’t convince her of his innocence in their repulsive conflict if Leah had dared to relate it, he didn’t press her for answers in her highly agitated state of mind. “You never were kodas, Shalee. Many times you said you did not trust her. You said she was too obedient and respectful for a captive, our enemy.”
“She isn’t respectful and obedient; it’s just a wily retense! She called you a savage. She said she wanted to replace me,” she blurted out before thinking clearly.
He threw back his head and laughed. “To Leah, I am a savage, Little One. But she could never replace you; no female could,” he assured her.
“If you forgot me, would you come to love me again?”
“Yes, as I love you now.”
She lowered her head in shame. “I’m sorry, Wanmdi Hota. I’ve been acting terrible. I won’t do it again, I promise.”
“If other eyes were not upon us, I would make you prove your shame and love
,” he teased, relieved their problem was settled for the present.
She smiled ruefully. “When we get home, I will.”
“That is one promise I will not allow you to forget.”
He pulled her close to him and placed his arm around her shoulder. She rested her head against him. For a long time, they sat there watching the full moon and savoring their renewed closeness. She mentally vowed she would never permit Leah to come between them again, especially not while they were still seeking each other. He, too, made a mental promise; Leah would be gone as quickly as possible. For some reason she had fiercely displeased his father; now, he was determined to be rid of her. Soon, they would enjoy a peaceful life again….
Their journey had begun near a place that would one day be called Rapid City, to progress through a vast territory later to be named the Badlands, over flat prairies and lush grasslands, past lofty buttes and picturesque bluffs, over areas of arid, desertlike terrain, along the Bad River to where it joined forces with the mighty Missouri River, near a place then and now called Pierre, to head southward for several miles to their intended campsite. All the lands they traversed comprised the massive Dakota Territory.
The warriors often left the group to ride out and talk with other tribes who passed within visual range of the Oglala: the Sisseton, heading northward now; the Cheyenne, steadily heading northeastward; the Brule, calmly heading southwestward; and the Yankton, leisurely heading southeastward. Each tribe recognized the proclaimed sites of their allies and member tribes. From Gray Eagle’s instructive talks, Shalee knew there were other tribes living not too far away: the Crow, Santee, and Winnebago. She was relieved to learn that many formerly hostile tribes had made truce to fight a more deadly, mutual foe in the white man. For a time, warfare among the neighboring tribes was halted, and Indian truce reigned in the opulent Dakota Territory, the largest portion of which comprised the Eagle’s domain.
Chapter Thirteen
The remainder of their seasonal trek passed uneventfully. After nine taxing days, they arrived at their final destination. No orders were necessary to begin the flurry of activity. Locations were selected for each tepee. Travois were unloaded, the possessions of each family placed near its chosen campsite. Horses were rubbed down, watered, and tethered in the lush grassland by a group of teenage boys. Youthful girls collected large rocks to form cookfires, then wood and water was gathered. A band of hunters headed into the dense forest soon after their arrival. Tonight, they would celebrate their homecoming with a joint feast and merriment before new labors began.
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