XV
I AM
God who is eternally complete, who directs the stars, who is the master of fates, who elevates man from his lowliness to Himself, who speaks from the cosmos to every single human soul, is the most brilliant manifestation of the goal of perfection…
Alfred Adler.
“Do you know where we stand?” Heiden announced, keeping his back to Eveline who still was on bended knee.
“Solomon’s temple my lord,” Eveline replied quietly, her body filled with butterflies. The sun filled the holy temple, bouncing off the gold and thus enriching the very room as though she herself was immersed in the sun.
“Such bloodshed has been spilled over this temple, such wars have been wageed,” Heiden spoke on, his head high up and his hands by his side. “For what?” Heiden turned around and looked down on Eveline with heavy eyes. Eveline feeling the air still, lifted her gaze to meet his own.
“To lay claim to you my Lord, to decree one faith better than another, too…too,” she stammered unable to speak before such a King, still so tall and mighty to behold.
“Go on,” Heiden urged, stepping down from the high alter to stand before Eveline, her auburn hair burning in the gold.
“Use such a claim for their own benefit,” Eveline whispered, keeping her eyes on his, gold and bright.
“I suppose you are wondering why it is I brought you here?”
“Yes my Lord,” Eveline replied as he held out both hands for her to take. Without a word, she placed her own shaking hands within his strong palms and trembled feeling an instant connection to him.
“I could have brought you to my own Kingdom, to my own palace where the sun always shines,” Heiden said with an eerie look. “But for metaphorical purposes I thought it best we both meet here, at the epicentre of this world.”
“I do not understand,” Eveline said with courage. “Why am I here?”
“Do you know who I am?” Heiden asked with furrowed brows.
“You are God are you not?” Eveline returned as Heiden gently guided her about the temple.
“But what God am I? Am I the God of Christianity? Judaism? Islam?”
“No,” Eveline said with certainty. “You Are.” Heiden stopped walking and turned to her, looking down into the face of his daughter and granddaughter.
“I Am,” he said quietly. “Above all the Gods of this world and how each of their subjects would mourn their true God.”
“Why?” Eveline asked with curious eyes.
“Men want their supreme leader to be perfect, I am not,” Heiden spoke softly and deeply. “I am flawed.”
“Not all men wish their master to be perfect, many respect their masters more for their imperfections,” Eveline said kindly, her heart lifting as he smiled in response.
“How very democratic,” Heiden said with an air of humour. “How very alike your mother you are.”
“You knew my mother?” Eveline enquired seriously.
“Have you not wondered why I have shown you all that you have seen whilst your physical body lies lifeless in Bath Abbey?” Heiden asked quietly, watching and observing her face as the dawning of realisation washed over her. “Do you not wonder why it is that my best guardians watch over you?”
“My…my parents died in a car crash,” Eveline whispered with terrified eyes.
“No, your parents did not die in a car crash,” Heiden said with a stern glance. “Your parents died at the hands of your half-brother.”
“What…what?”
“You have met him in the garden,” Heiden exclaimed as he released his hands from her own and walked away, his shoulders bending as though troubled deeply. “He bears my name if a little altered in spelling it be.”
“No he is not my brother,” Eveline laughed nervously. “I have no siblings, I am an orphan.”
“Heidan and yourself both share the same blood as your mother, Unyae, child of the stars,” Heiden said heavily, turning his eyes slightly to see how Eveline was faring. She stood back in shock, her hand across her mouth as though willing herself to stay silent as a silent storm built within her. “The child that you saw during the christening in Caci was in fact you, although you knew that deep inside once you looked down into her face and saw yourself.”
“No,” Eveline whispered, her eyes darting about the temple.
“You walk in your mothers likeness, whilst baring your fathers strength, intelligence and wisdom,” Heiden went on, turning about to face her once again, seeing her struggle as she walked about in circles. “It is true, I wished her not to marry in fact it is against the law for any children of Heiden to marry those who are human. But it matters not now…,” he sighed darkly.
“I am just me,” Eveline said loudly, thumping at her chest with her fist. “I am just Eveline.”
“You are Celestine, daughter of the High King Elieor and High Queen Unyae, Goddess of the stars,” Heiden said regally, coming forth to Eveline, his body straight and intimidating. “You are now the heir to the throne of Calhuni and joint heir to my throne, that’s if you can claim it before your brother does.”
“But…,” Eveline sought to find words, but her throat dried up instead and her heart beat wildly under her chest as she tried to tame the anxiety within.
“Why else do you think Lagar has sent his army of shadows to find you?” Heiden said with frustration. “Do not play the fool, you knew long before your visions that you were off another world and another race.”
“I never believed myself to be a surviving heir of a God, nor an heir to a Kingdom,” Eveline said loudly, finally unleashing the storm that swirled within. “I have never been a believer.”
“And yet you clutch at your bible each night, praying to be enlightened,” Heiden said firmly, his eyes burning. “And I listened.”
“And did nothing,” Eveline said with spit, forgetting who she stood before. “If I am the daughter of Unyae then tell me why you left her in a garden to be subjected to loneliness and depression, believing you had forsaken her?”
“She was never alone, I walked with her in that garden, I sheltered you when you fell asleep,” Heiden said as Eveline circled about him with her head in her hands, shaking it wildly.
“You mean to say you watched her through the eyes of a stag?” Eveline stopped and turned to too him with a heated expression. “As if such a claim should calm my judgment of you as if it justifies her pain and death?”
“She was my heir, I had to protect her from Lagar who as you already know wished to take her from me and plant himself upon my throne,” Heiden replied quietly, his eyes falling to the ground. “Never had I forgotten my child. Always did I yearn to stand before her as I stand before you and give her the comfort and love, she so desperately needed.”
“Then why didn’t you? Lagar knew not where she was, you were unlikely to tell her so why not stand before her as you stand before me?” Eveline said sharply.
“Lagar and his army, those who live within his kingdom, they were once my subjects, my allies and friends,” Heiden said with sorrow. “They once walked through the streets of Aurelius, ate at my table and laid down their swords before me, pledging their allegiance. Those with whom openly opposed me were exiled, but still there linger those who would see me dead. How else do you think they infiltrated Heaven and killed all the innocent women and children?”
“Those who hold power will always be prey to those who wish to take it from them,” Eveline said without sympathy. “You are powerful and old enough to know that.”
“Tell me, do you know of any King that has kept power for as long as I?” Heiden asked his granddaughter with icy eyes.
“I know nothing of your kind, your race nor your history,” Eveline said with folded arms. “I do know that you had a father before you and that the position of Queen or King is hereditary. What makes you stand above those who stand beneath you?”
“There is a reason why those of my bloodline do not mix blood with those who are human or angel
ic,” Heiden said with authority. “We have an ancient power that flows through us that no other in this universe has, why? Because you and I are descendants from the old Gods, the Gods that with a blink of an eye created all that surrounds you. To place that power into the hands of those who are not of our bloodline would be suicide. It is not a question of greed or a wish to keep myself above others, it is my destiny, my duty and yours.”
“And what difference is there in your wielding such power over a human?” Eveline asked curtly, sickened by power and its ability to corrupt.
“Control,” Heiden said with frightening eyes. “My kind are older than every angel and human combined. We have long been able to control the powers we wield in such a way that it does not corrupt us to the same extent as it would anyone else. I am not perfect, this you have seen but I am, through no fault of my own greater than those who follow me willingly. I do not oppress my people, I give them democracy and free will, to choose their destiny no matter my thoughts. Can you offer me an example of a human who has done the same for such a period of time?” Eveline stopped walking and bent her shoulders, of course she had read about a great many good leaders, but she knew deep within that they had been flawed and greedy too and that many who began as good men or women were easily swayed by greed and power. Heiden walked over to Eveline and laid a hand upon her shoulder. “Just as you had no say in who your parents where, either did I. I failed your mother, in this you are right, but not from want of trying, but from want of protecting her and ensuring she survived. She was the only heir who could claim my throne and keep it, knowing as I and she did that her son would one day rally such a war against her to take the throne from her.”
Eveline felt the air embrace her body, felt the coolness of the marble beneath her feet and warmth of the golden light upon her face. As she felt the imprint of Heiden’s hand upon her shoulder she darted her eyes so that they met with his own.
“Will you answer me this,” she began, her voice low and clear. “It has long been my theory that Lagar and everything else is the product of God that the evil within man, within Lagar and his shadows also come from God.” She turned her body so that it faced Heiden, whose face lay still and unmoving. “Does it?”
“Yes,” Heiden said with a nod, is nostrils enlarged and his breathing deep. “All things flow from the Gods that have ruled over everything, even darkness.”
“Have you sinned?” Eveline asked, her shoulders raised and her back straight. All her life she had pondered over these deep and often disturbing questions wondering what truth lay in her opinion and now that she stood before the great God himself, she felt herself bound to ask, she needed to know if the same darkness that lingered in Lagar also lingered within her.
“Yes,” Heiden said with his head lowered. “Darkness lies within me as it does everything, but it resides within me in a way that is more prevalent and deep. But the light also resides within me and it is even greater than the darkness and so deep that I can feel its power within every inch of my physical and mental being.”
“You are capable of becoming the oppressor, of becoming the true serpent of the night?” Eveline’s lips trembled such was the fear that gripped her.
“Yes, but I choose not to become the oppressor, I choose to stand in the light and fight the darkness.”
“What separates you from Lagar in terms of darkness?”
“He fights against the light as I do against the darkness,” Heiden said with honest eyes and sincere feeling. “I am constantly tested and at times may feel myself slip into the shadow, but I search for the light as the lungs search for air. I am God, my duties stem from one side of the spectrum to the other, I must be firm, tough and vigilant if I am to create and keep peace. At times that means I must become the executioner when my subjects break the law. But unlike Lagar, I do not revel in the darkness of power, it brings a sickness to my soul and I become sick. There have been times during my long life when I have had to battle myself and the urges that power, absolute power brings and so I created a council and legal system to help me bare the burdens, to help keep me in place.”
“Do you not fear falling prey to all that consumes light?” Eveline asked quietly, for this had been a long held fear that she had fought for a long time. How easy it would be to use the gifts she had been given to do harm to those who laughed at or teased her for her unusual ways or unnatural looks.
“I fear never fearing that I fall prey to darkness,” Heiden said firmly, his eyes spinning about the room. “That is why I keep Lagar alive, he represents all that I could become if I like him chose to walk at night.”
“Is that not inhumane?” Eveline asked with quizzical brows.
“No, at times we the leaders have to make choices in order to preserve and protect the goodness that are subjects rely upon. I love to watch things grow, from a blade of grass to a fine rose. When living things die, my soul cries out in pain and that is when I am comforted that I still walk in the light as perverse as that may seem to you.”
“Sometimes when I am angry, I feel darkness within,” Eveline admitted quietly. “When I was walking through Keswick as a young girl on my way to the post office, a group of girls the same age as I chased me through the town and into the woods. I wasn’t fast enough and fell over a rock,” Eveline turned her gaze away and wrapped her arms about her body. “They beat me and called me a witch. That week my mind was filled with vengeance, I mused to myself how I could best terrify them with my magical abilities.”
“What stopped you?” Heiden asked with a curious gaze. Eveline stopped walking in a circle and turned her golden eyes to him.
“They attacked me because their minds had been infiltrated with lies,” Eveline said pitifully. “Men are scared of things they do not understand, that is why they kill those that they fear.” She closed her eyes and brought herself back into the small library where she sat some year’s previous reading a book. Even within her memory could she hear and chart the journey of the small wasp that had entered the library through the open window. “The first time I killed a wasp I was riddled with guilt. Why did I kill it? It was of no threat to me, it was simply being curious and I without a second glance simply killed it with one swift execution using a newspaper, I didn’t even blink an eye. I watched it try to find its legs as it drew out its last breath upon the window sill,” Eveline’s eyes widened with guilt and abhorrent shame. “I was scared of the wasp’s sting and so instead of simply walking away, I snubbed it with a newspaper and how my heart darkened. The acts of those girls were the bi products of the wicked words that had been planted into their minds so carelessly, mainly from the pulpit before the new reverend arrived. I knew that the first time I ever striked a person simply because I had power over them would only lead me down a dark path and that I would become seduced by the power I wielded. So I learnt to fear it instead, keeping all that I was truly at arm’s length so that I could protect myself from turning into the monster those girls believed me to be.”
“Do you fear your true self still?”
Eveline shrugged before shaking her head slightly.
“Yes,” Eveline groaned loudly. “I rarely use my abilities if ever, but when the clouds darken and I find myself slipping into the shade I can feel the power deep within my bones and soul, crying out to me, wishing me to embrace them.”
“And now that you know who you are? Shall you embrace your true destiny in order to serve the light?” Heiden asked with curious eyes. He understood the terrible burden she carried, understood the dark side of magic and understood the fear she clung onto, the fear of turning into a creature of the night.
“What if I succumb to the darkness?” Eveline whispered faintly, her cheeks stained lightly. Heiden walked over to his granddaughter and found her hands, enfolding them within his.
“You will not succumb to the darkness that lurks within shadows and demons, I will not allow it. I do however concede that you need help in being able to control your powers.”
“Who could help me?” Eveline asked, lifting her golden gaze to meet his own, her fingers lightly touching the smooth skin of his palms.
“Apart from myself there are those known as druids who live on the island of Anglesey, do you know it?” Heiden enquired with raised brows.
“Theodore has spoken of the island being homed to a magical school called Ravinston?”
“Yes I have heard of the school, however a small coven of druids live upon the island,” Heiden said with a serious tone. “They are very secretive and tend to keep themselves to themselves, but if you wish to learn to control your powers but also to harness them, then you should visit them and spend some time among them, even if you choose not to return to Calnuthe.”
“Will they know who I am?” Eveline asked with a hint of interest gleaming within her eyes.
“They will know you,” Heiden said with certainty. “You bare the eyes of their God.”
Eveline mused over the information, he was right even if she wished to stay on in Keswick with Theodore, she would for all time be hunted by lions and so she needed to be able to use her powers in order to protect herself and her husband. Deep within her, she let herself admit that she was more than interested about the proposition, she was consumed with curiosity. If she learnt to control her powers, learnt to really understand them then she could use them to help others.
“I think that would be a sensible thing to do considering all things,” she said aloud with firm lips. “Of course I shall have to speak with Theodore.”
“Indeed,” Heiden said with lowered eyes. The temple became quiet as Eveline digested the information and took in a deep breathe, her stomach beginning to tighten with hunger. After several minutes she looked over at Heiden.
One Crown & Two Thrones: The Prophecy Page 43