by Tim Greaton
Knowing he had no choice, Jesse skirted around the monkey bars, made his way up the ladder of the slide and took a quick trip down. Finally, he went through the swings and circled around the merry-go-round. It was important that the teachers didn’t see him talking to anyone, or they would have shooed his father away and made Jesse go inside. By the time Jesse reached their meeting spot, his father had moved behind the same tree he always used for cover. Jesse could see him, but almost no one else could.
His dad looked better this time. He was wearing a clean pair of corduroys, a fresh black tee shirt and a clean, gray jacket that he hadn’t bothered to zip. Jesse was amazed because his father’s face was also shaven and his hands were clean. If he had cleaned up like this more often, maybe things between his parents would have been different.
Jesse closed off the thought. He had tried to fix things, but everything got messed up anyway. He hated it, but that is the way it was.
Staring at his sparkly clean dad, he wondered what had changed.
“I stood outside your window last night, just like we planned,” his father said.
“I was asleep,” Jesse lied. “I stayed awake four nights, and you didn’t come. I thought you found another sleeping place.”
“It’s okay, Jess,” his father said cheerfully. “I just wanted to stop by and let you know that I’m going away for a little bit. I’ve got a big job planned, and I won’t be seeing you for a couple of weeks.”
“You’re leaving?”
His father nodded.
“Yeah, but just for a little while. Today I’m driving towards someplace warm. In a couple of days, I’ll be running around with no shirt on and sipping cold beer at the beach.” He wiped a thin hand across the bottom of his nose. There was no sign of blood on either his upper lip or his hand. Maybe things were getting better. Jesse still held a private fantasy that his father would quit taking nose-candy, and that his mother would forgive his dad and let him move back home.
Once again, Jesse stopped those kinds of thoughts.
“I’ll be back soon, Jess. Until then, you take care of your mom, okay?”
“Okay, Dad.”
Jesse watched his father cross the street and get into the back seat of a shiny, black car. The car pulled out and drove past the schoolyard. Jesse waved but couldn’t tell if his dad waved back because the windows were black. As the car disappeared around the next corner, Jesse had the feeling that something was wrong. He couldn’t remember a time when things ever went well for his father. Something felt bad about all this.
After Kevin’s violent graduation performance, Vicky, of course, immediately moved in with him. Though my aunt and uncle hated it, she had turned eighteen and could do as she chose. Fortunately, finding her in China would have been as easy as locating her in Rhode Island, so her new apartment a few blocks from my Aunt Donna and Uncle Bert’s house didn’t present any challenge. Her and Kevin’s apartment was in a building located just at the edge of one of Providence’s roughest neighborhoods. If my sister had gone out the front door and turned right, within a few blocks she would have had to fight for her purse or worse. That was the same direction, I knew, that Kevin often went to meet the men in suits who swapped canvas bags with him. If my sister took a left out their front door, however, in just a few blocks she would find herself in a high-end shopping district.
With Kevin’s money, Vicky always turned left.
When my view opened one morning, Vicky was lounging on a yellow, vinyl couch with Kevin at her side. She wore a tight, leopard-skin dress that revealed an awful lot of her cleavage. A string of what I imagined were real pearls shone brightly against the pale skin of her neck. On her wrists she wore so many bracelets I marveled that the weight wasn’t bothersome. Kevin, for his part, wore his typical jeans and a dark tee shirt. His leather jacket was draped over a white screen that I knew was used to show home movies. On a small wooden table to his left sat a chrome and green projector case. There was a large wooden cabinet across the room; a sliding door on top was open, revealing a combination radio and record player that was much more modern than the old crank Victrolas more common in my time. A record was spinning.
I settled into my sister’s mind.
“Want a beer?” she asked Kevin.
“Sure,” he said loudly to be heard over the background music. He let go of her waist so that she get to her bare feet.
“Are we going out tonight?” she asked as she passed through the multi-colored beads into a kitchen decorated with yellow swirl and tinfoil wallpaper. The yellow countertop clashed terribly with a green stove and refrigerator.
“We’re going to Benny’s for a while,” he said. “Then I’ll drop you back here. I’ve got some things to take care of.”
I didn’t know who Benny was, but my sister often pranced around in skimpy outfits so Kevin could show her off to his nefarious friends. Though I didn’t like it, I couldn’t exactly voice my displeasure from Under-Heaven.
“That’ll be fun,” Vicky said as she pushed back through the beads and handed him an unopened can.
He popped the top and laughed as foam dripped onto the green, shag carpet. My sister slithered on top of him before he could take a swig. I had seen them together enough to know that at any moment he would carry her to the bedroom with the lake mural on one wall and a mirror on the ceiling. It was time for me to leave.
A wide variety of personalities formed my intricate web of relationships in Under-Heaven. Where Grandma Clara was a common sense and loving personality, my Aunt Alice was aloof but supportive; and where my Uncle Albert was generally quiet and congenial, my many-times-removed grandmother Amber was physically comforting and instinctively loving. Even my Uncle Finneus was a fun if debate-worthy character whom I had grown to love. There were also dozens of other angel relatives who came and went, each one adding to the multiplicity that had become my life in Under-Heaven.
As for the dead, I had become a legend among them. Though souls flickered in and out of my Under-Heaven like fireflies on a warm Maine night, even in their short stay they still somehow managed to blend facts and exaggerations into out-of-proportion stories that passed from soul to soul in a never-ending chain. It got to the point that I could hardly walk outside my own home without attracting attention. The dead looked at me like a prophet or immortal in their midst. On the few occasions that I did choose to speak with one or another, the deference I received always came as a surprise.
“Like a god,” my Uncle Finneus would say. “They treat you like a god!”
I could hear envy in his voice, but I had no appreciation for any special status my cowardice afforded me. I knew sheer cowardice was the only reason I still resided in Under-Heaven. Though I wanted to go back to Earth, I knew I wouldn’t have the benefit of my previous memories to help stave off any danger, and without that learned caution, I could fall prey to any madman with a gun, a knife or a strong lobsterman’s grip. No, ultimately, it was my fear of death by violence that kept me rooted in place. Any importance the other souls associated to my indecision was at best, ill-placed and at worst, pathetic.
My sister had been living with Kevin for only a few months when he began taking her along during his midnight errands. Not only had he given her a small gun to keep between her breasts, he had also taken her several times to a local target-range to practice. I suspect the way she closed her eyes before firing didn’t help but, regardless of the reason, it seemed that unless any future target was at least the size of a house, her gun wouldn’t be of much use.
For obvious reasons, I was concerned. I started viewing later and later in the day so that I could tag along during their illicit errands. Though I might have been powerless, it was better to know she got home each night than to stay awake and worry about it.
One night, they had just picked up an envelope from a restaurant owner in a seedy area. Several minutes earlier, I had noticed a stranger hiding in the shadows of an alley nearby. But Kevin and my sister were surprised whe
n the man dressed in a suit stepped out onto the sidewalk from between two buildings.
I settled into my sister so I could hear.
“Vinny’s lookin’ for you, Kevin.” The man’s voice was deep and rolling.
Kevin shrugged.
“So, I’ll see him on Tuesday, like always.”
“I’m thinkin’ he wants to see you tonight.”
“Get in the Mustang, Babe,” Kevin said to my sister.
Though she willingly joined him on these evening jobs, I knew she was terrified of the people Kevin did business with. She readily slid into the passenger seat of Kevin’s brand new, blue sports car and slammed the door shut. She kept the window open so we could hear, though.
Kevin approached the much bigger man.
“Who are you anyway?” he asked.
“I’m Joey, Vinny’s nephew,” the big man said, not backing up.
“Tell your Uncle Vinny,” Kevin said, stabbing a finger into the top button of Joey’s white, dress shirt, “that I’ll see him on Tuesday, like always. I don’t take orders from you or your people.”
“But you’ll take our money, huh?”
“Mr. Benarrio is the one who takes your uncle’s money, Joey. I’m just the guy who carries it for him.”
Joey nodded. “That right?”
“Yeah, that’s right.”
“Then how come Mr. Benarrio says there’s two G’s missing from last month’s payments, Kevin? That’s what my Uncle Vinny wants to know. Where’d the money go?”
“That’s crap!” Kevin took a step back. “Your people short the big man, and you think I’m going to take the fall? Not likely.”
Joey smiled. “Keep talkin’ tough guy. Vinny’s lookin’ forward to hearing how come Mr. B’s accountant counted the bag before you got there last night and the money was right on. Magically, it turned out three bills short by the time it got back to Mr. B, though? You don’t know how that happened, do you?”
Kevin backed up another step.
“Well…something—your guys must have made a mistake!”
“You don’t want to talk to my uncle, Kevin, that’s okay. But I believe Mr. Benarrio is planning a little seminar for you.” The big man turned and started down the dark sidewalk. He stopped, just his wide face visible under dim streetlight. “Goin’ to be quite a seminar, Kevin. I’m sure it is.”
Kevin seemed to have trouble with the handle before he was able to open the car door and get in. He fumbled for the keys.
“Everything all right, K?” my sister asked.
“Huh…oh, yeah. I just got some things to straighten out. I―I need some time to think. We’re just going to take a ride for a while.”
“Okay,” Vicky said. She pulled the small gun out of her bra and slid it into the glove compartment.
They drove through the city until Kevin connected with Route 146 heading toward Worcester, Massachusetts. They had been driving for about forty-five minutes when he pulled the Mustang into a rest stop on the right side of the highway. There were no other cars as he pulled down the lengthy parking area that looked like nothing so much as an extra-wide road. At the end, a chain with a sign draped across two steel posts. The weathered blue lettering read: “Dam Access.”
“What’s going on, K?” Vicky asked as he got out and moved to the front of the car where the headlights illuminated his back.
He pulled a gun from the back of his waist and aimed it at the padlock that held the chain together. Two explosive flashes echoed through the dark night. He kicked at the lock, and then aimed for a third gunshot. After the third crack of gunfire, the lock fell and the two sides of chain dropped to the ground.
Kevin slid back into the car.
“Just a little private rest stop for us,” he said. He pulled the 1963 Mustang down the narrow gravel road with small bushes and tall weeds that made eerie thumping sounds under the floorboards. When they came to a steel barrier that effectively ended the road, Kevin shut the car off.
I could hear water falling in the distance.
“I’m scared,” my sister confessed.
Kevin laughed, but there was a quavering note in his voice.
“We’re okay out here,” he said. He leaned over to kiss her. I saw his hand reach for her breast.
I backed up and out until I could see the Mustang’s dark blue paint reflecting the moonlight. The sleek, new car was parked in a tiny turnaround just a hundred feet from a reservoir and dam. I backed further away until I could see a couple of miles of forested area to the North and East. The dam was on the southern side. A trickle of headlights went back and forth along Route 146 just a half-mile to the west. I backed further until the physical landmarks and man-made lights disappeared to be replaced by the life-lights of the thousands of people who were in Vicky’s general vicinity.
It was then that my breath caught and I felt myself go faint. My sister and Kevin’s life-lights had turned bright shades of red!
“Grandma Clara! Grandma Clara!” I yelled as I rushed into my kitchen. Uncle Finneus appeared beside me. Of course, my grandmother had long ago returned to Heaven for the night.
“Out,” I said, to my Uncle Finneus. “Out of here right now!”
I was glad when he shrugged and disappeared. The last thing I needed was for his black sensibilities to affect my grandmother’s willingness to help.
“Grandma Clara!”
Suddenly she appeared. Her face was tight with concern.
“What is it, Nate?”
“It’s Vicky. Her light turned red. She’s going to die!”
Grandma Clara’s hand shot to her mouth.
“Oh no,” she breathed. “That poor child!”
“What do you mean that poor child? We have to do something. We have to stop this!”
Though her body trembled with concern, she said, “I’m sorry, Nate. There is nothing we can do. I can’t interfere down there. No one can.”
“That’s crazy. God created the Earth, everything. Why can’t he help my sister?”
“Nate, the Earth, the heavens, even Hell, they’re all part of a system. That system can only exist with rules, rules that we can’t break.”
“This makes no sense. You know what’s going to happen!”
Uncle Finneus knocked from the other side of his basement door.
“Not now!” I screamed at him.
“We have to help, Grandma. I can’t just let her die.”
“Nathaniel,” she said with a measured tone, “there is nothing we can do. I’m sorry.”
Uncle Finneus beat at the door.
“I said not now!”
“It’s time for me to go, Nate,” Grandmother Clara said. “I can’t be party to this.”
“To what?” I asked, turning to face her. But she had already disappeared.
“For God’s sake, Nate, open the damned door!”
I did as demanded, and Uncle Finneus stormed up into the kitchen. He had his hat in hand and his hair was wildly askew. His eyes danced angrily back and forth. I watched as he took a series of breaths to recover himself. He ran his fingers through his hair, and then somewhat calmly placed his top hat back on his head. Within his anger, I thought I recognized a sliver of what had allowed him to fight his way up to me. The fire was still in his eyes as he spoke.
“Do I strike you as a particularly frivolous man?”
I could hear the sarcasm in his voice and didn’t think this was the moment to mention that I didn’t know what the word frivolous meant. I shook my head.
“Then why, pray tell, young Nathaniel, would you choose to ignore my knocking when it was evidently URGENT?”
“Uncle Finneus, maybe this isn’t the best time for you to drag your point out too long. My sister is about to die, and I need to call Aunt Alice and the others for help. What do you want?”
“Your grandmother was lying.”
“Grandma Clara?” I asked.
“None other.”
“She can’t lie,” I said. “She’
s an angel.”
“Can’t she now? Then why didn’t she admit that she could intervene on Earth if she chose?”
I saw the red glow of my sister’s life-light in my mind’s eye. Immediately, anger bubbled up at the thought my grandmother was choosing not to help.
“Are you sure?”
“Positive, young fellow.”
“Why didn’t she tell me that?”
Uncle Finneus shrugged and shook his head.
“Now, I’ll agree she’s not supposed to meddle. That much is true.”
“Is that one of God’s rules?” I asked.
“His and Satan’s. It’s part of the pact that ended the war when Satan was cast down but not destroyed. Neither he nor God are supposed to meddle with Earth affairs.”
“But the angels have the power?”
“Yes.”
“What would happen if Grandma Clara did meddle?”
“I’m not entirely sure, but I know it wouldn’t be anything too serious. She wouldn’t be cast down or anything dramatic like that.”
“How do you know?”
“Angels interfere all the time. They’re constantly frustrating the efforts of the damn—” My Uncle’s expression went slack as he caught himself.
“Of the damned bad people that live on Earth,” he finished, but I knew what he’d been about to say.
“So you can go to Earth, too,” I stated. It wasn’t a question.
“So can she,” he said petulantly. “Why do you think I was trying to get your attention before she left?”
“Then do it!”
“That’s preposterous, Nathaniel. We have rules, too.”
“Yes, but you break rules on a regular basis. It’s one of your trademarks.” I had grown to know my uncle quite well.
“I won’t do it,” he said. “Do you have any idea what I went through to get up here in the first place? Now me, I’m a pretty levelheaded and nice fella to be around, but there are some downright vicious characters in our bloodline, Nate. And I had to make it past every single one of them to get to you the first time. I’m lucky I wasn’t skewered with a spear and turned over a flame for a hundred years.”