In the aftermath, she felt a joyfulness in their coupling she’d never experienced before in her life. She felt him not just in her body but her heart. She felt as if she were home.
When Quinn’s breathing steadied, he propped himself on one elbow and caressed her face slowly, tracing the line of her jaw, her eyelids, the shape of her lips.
They lay in comfortable silence, letting their heartbeats return to normal, their breathing even out.
“Quinn?” Was this the right time to ask him?
“What is it, darlin’?”
“You said you’ve been alone for four years. That you hadn’t been with a woman for a long time. You know everything about me now. Can you tell me what happened to you?”
“I never talk about it with anyone.” His voice was sharp with pain.
She cuddled against his hard body, her hand resting on his chest. “Aren’t you the one who told me that some things are better if you share them?”
“Throwing my own words back at me?” His fingers drifted up and down her arm.
“Absolutely.”
Silence covered them like a suffocating blanket, but Kate made herself wait. When he spoke it was in a low voice she almost didn’t recognize.
“Four years ago my wife and child were murdered.”
Shock ran through her like a bolt of electricity. Whatever she’d expected, that wasn’t it.
“Oh, God.” She couldn’t figure out what to say. His body was so rigid it almost vibrated. “I’m sorry. I never would have asked if I’d known. I’m so, so sorry.”
“It’s okay. I haven’t talked about it in so long it might actually do me some good.”
“Quinn, if it’s too painful for you...God, am I stupid. Of course it’s painful for you.”
“I can do this, Kate. Just stay curled up against me like this and listen, okay?”
“All right.” She sifted her fingers through the curls of hair on his chest, rubbing them lightly over the sweat-slicked skin.
When he spoke again the voice might have belonged to a stranger. “Four years ago I had a great job, a wonderful wife I loved more than the earth, and an amazing two-year-old daughter. My folks were retiring and getting ready to enjoy the rest of their lives.” He paused and his swallow was audible. “Then in an instant it was wiped out. Gone.”
“What do you mean, gone?”
Quinn tightened his hand on her arm. “Like I told you earlier, I was a federal prosecutor in San Antonio, part of the south Texas district. I had just finished the trial of some real badass scumbags. They made millions smuggling people and drugs across the border. A very rough group. Killing meant nothing to them.”
Kate stroked her hand over his chest in circles, feeling the heavy thudding of his heart beneath her touch, the tension in his body. “Go on,” she urged.
“It was a long trial but we got the convictions and stiff sentences we wanted. Then I heard from my sources that the guys I convicted put out a contract on me. I foolishly ignored what they said because those kinds of people make threats all the time. I was just so glad to see them locked away and be done with the whole case.”
He tightened his arm around her almost reflexively. “I was in the mood to celebrate once the sentences were handed down. I called my wife, Lisa, and told her to bring our daughter, Nicole, and meet me in front of the courthouse at noon. We were standing there on the sidewalk, chatting with some of the other attorneys in the office, when a car came by, slowed down, and someone began firing.”
“Oh, my God.” Kate could imagine the horror of the scene. She wanted to tell Quinn to stop, to leave it alone, but she had a feeling that once he’d started he needed to get it all out.
“It happened so fast,” he went on. “No one could react in time. I was only wounded in the arm, but Lisa and Nikki were killed instantly. God, there was so much blood. So much blood. And there was nothing anyone could do for them.”
Kate just kept moving her hand in slow circles on his chest and pressing her body against him, not knowing what else to do.
“I was hell bent on vengeance. I shifted my case load to other prosecutors and spent all my time looking not only for the shooters but also for who gave the order. And I was close.” He paused for a heartbeat. “Too close for them, I guess.”
“Something else happened?” Kate knew even as she asked that one more horrendous fact was going to come to light.
“It seems they weren’t finished sending me messages. My parents were driving home from Austin on the back roads one night in the rain. Someone ran them off the road and over an incline, then shot out the gas tank. It exploded. A passing car saw it happen but there was nothing they could do to help. And the shooter’s car took off too fast to even get a license number.”
He finally turned toward her again. In the fading light slanting in through the windows she saw the stark lines of his face, like a stone mask, but his voice held so much heartbreak that Kate could hardly bear to listen to anymore.
“Oh, God, Quinn.”
“Anyway, there I was. I had nothing left to lose, did I? I was determined to get those bastards, so I sold my house, quit my job, and spent every waking minute digging in the sewers trying to find them. And finally, I did.” He raised his other arm and covered his eyes with it, shutting out images best forgotten. “Finally, I did.”
“You found all these people and brought them in?”
“In a manner of speaking.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I delivered them all to the prosecutor’s office in San Antonio. The living and the dead.”
The tone of his voice, like cold death, let Kate know that was the end of it. All that he could dredge up and spit out.
“No wonder you hide away up here, shutting everything else out. So...you don’t work anymore?”
“Everyone in our family believed in lots of insurance.” He gave a short, bitter laugh. “My parents had listed me as the beneficiary on their policies. And Lisa and I had large policies on each other. If anything happened to one of us, the other would be able to provide for Nikki. Well, that didn’t exactly work out, did it? So I took all the money and invested it. Maybe I’d be better off if I did have to work. Less time to think about things.”
“Did you ever think about going back to your job?” She held her breath waiting for his answer.
Please, no.
“I lost my taste for it. For everything. These days I’m more comfortable being by myself up here in the hills. People around here know me and they respect me enough not to intrude.”
“Oh, Quinn.”
“So,” he said, cutting off further questions, “now you know it all.”
She wet her lips with the tip of her tongue, her mouth feeling dry as dust. In that moment she thought being dead was not nearly as bad as being the one who survived. “I can’t begin to imagine the pain you still feel,” she said at last. “But I know that resolving the situation was the right thing to do.”
He lifted one of her hands and played with the fingers. Shrugged his shoulders. “So here we are, you and I, each dragging our baggage with us. I know this sounds weird but something pulled me over to the side of the road. Made me stop. Made me feel...connected to you.” He leaned over and kissed her, then fell back again. “I never believed in fate before this, but I don’t know what else to call it.”
“I feel it, too, Quinn. Don’t you see? As if we’re too halves of the same whole suddenly fitting together. How weird is that?”
“You’ve made me feel alive again, darlin’.” He smoothed her hair back from her forehead, watching her, still trying to absorb the speed with which it had all happened. “I want you. I need you. I don’t know what I have left to give to anyone anymore, but whatever there is, I want to give it to you.”
“Then that’s the answer. Whatever happens, happens. No more second guessing. I’ll take whatever you can give me.” She climbed on top of him, pressing full length against his hard nakedness, and kissed
him until they were both breathless.
They slept little that night, unable to get enough of each other, feasting, reveling, touching everywhere. The discovery and acceptance of their feelings was high octane fuel that stoked their need.
Quinn explored every inch of her body, learning how to make her respond in ways she didn’t know she could. She in turn aroused him with her hands, her tongue, her lips. She loved the sounds he made when she took him into her mouth, his groans as the tension built in his body.
It was raw, impassioned sex, earthy and unrestrained. He took her every way possible, prolonging her orgasms, watching with those glittering eyes as she shuddered in a blazing, earth-shattering response. Yet no matter how many times they made love, their hunger refused to be sated. A door had been opened and they couldn’t rush through it fast enough.
By morning they were finally spent.
Kate felt ravaged. She was sure walking would be a problem, but she didn’t care. They had not just made love, they had mated, each to the other. She was his and he would take care of her. She closed her eyes, secure in the circle of his arms. Physically and emotionally drained, she was asleep in seconds.
****
Quinn watched her lying next to him, her body replete, her breath a soft whisper. This powerful connection forged between them was full of promise. She had touched his soul, this scared, desperate woman, and he had poured himself into her.
Kate!
His heart was so full he thought it would burst. Kate had shown him how to love again. Now Lisa and Nikki might finally rest in peace, and with that, came the redemption of his soul. At last he might be able to live with himself. To find peace. Again he felt Lisa’s approving presence and tears gathered behind his eyelids.
He’d failed last time when he should have been alert. This time would be different. He knew it. This time he’d be prepared.
At sunrise he finally fell asleep. For the first time since that carnage in front of the courthouse, he could close his eyes without pain searing his heart and the bloody after-image of Lisa and Nikki, lying dead at his feet, burning onto his eyes. Unexpected peace stole over him.
He felt whole again.
Chapter Thirteen
Quinn was in his kitchen making coffee, putting off the call to Jake as long as possible. His cell was on vibrate so as not to wake Kate. He swallowed a smile as he thought of all the reasons she was sleeping so late. When the phone buzzed against his hip, he grabbed it and flipped it open.
“Quinn?” Jake’s voice thundered across the connection.
“Yup. Right here.”
“I thought you were going to call me this morning.”
“Sorry, compadre. My fault. Time just got away from me.”
“Are you alone?”
Quinn frowned. “Why? Do I have to be?”
“You might want to have this conversation in private.”
“Listen, Jake. What’s going on? I talked to...the person you’re interested in last night and she’s willing to meet with you. But just you.” He quietly let himself out onto the front porch and settled on the bench at the far end. “Even though you shot your mouth off yesterday when I asked you not to. So what’s up?”
“Please try to understand this isn’t just any old case here, okay?” Jake’s voice held a pleading note. “There’s a hell of a lot at stake.”
Quinn’s grip on the phone tightened. “No kidding. Tell me something I don’t know.”
Silence hummed along the connection, then Jake cleared his throat. “I have someone here who wants to talk to you.”
Quinn felt anger rise within him, tinged with the edge of fear for Kate. Thanks, Jake.
“Long time, Quinn.” Dean Morgan’s deep voice resonated across the connection. “And Jake really didn’t have much choice in this. He knew what he had to do.”
“Hello, Dean.” Goddamn it. Quinn’s body tensed. “What can I do for you?”
“Jake tells me you might have someone staying at your place that we’d all like to talk to.” He paused. “A woman every gun in the Osuna cartel is hunting.”
“Jake has a very active imagination.”
“If he’s right, I want to know how you met her and where she is right at this moment.”
“You don’t want much, do you?” Kate would freak out six different ways if she knew anyone but Jake had this information. Damn, damn, damn.
“Don’t play games here, Quinn. You can’t just waltz into town out of nowhere after four years, ask about a case the whole DOJ is focused on, and not expect people to react. You have no idea what’s at stake.”
“Is that a fact?” Now the anger was surging through him and his good intentions were rapidly disappearing. “It seems to me I might know better than anyone else on your staff what’s at stake in situations like this.”
More silence, thick unspoken memories of a tragic past. “I’m sorry. You’re right, of course. Forgive my insensitivity. But you’re going to have to bring the Holt woman into this office.”
“Damn it, Dean. That woman’s life is at stake.”
“No one knows that more than we do. But you can’t just keep her hidden up there in the hills, Quinn. You need to bring her in.”
“Like hell,” Quinn exploded. “The office didn’t do a very good job of keeping Lisa and Nikki safe, and they were only bystanders.”
“Be reasonable.” Dean kept his voice steady and calm. “We had no way of anticipating what happened.”
“You should have and I should have. We didn’t, so this time I’m taking precautions. Besides, what makes you think she can tell you anything?”
“She can at least give us an idea why the hell the whole Osuna cartel is looking for her.”
Oh, that she can.
“If she does know, maybe she’s not too anxious to put herself at risk.”
Dean was silent for a moment. “Surely she can at least tell us what she knows about Peter Fleming. Besides, if the Osunas want her this badly, I want her, too. And before they find her.”
Quinn paused, frustration raging through his system, knowing Dean wasn’t going to be put off for very long.
“Listen,” his ex-boss went on. “I know Jake told you this is a very volatile, high profile case. We’ve been banging our heads against stone walls ever since the DEA agent bought it and we aren’t getting anything except a headache. We need something, Quinn. I shouldn’t have to tell you how that goes.”
“Okay, okay, I get your point. Do you get mine?” He swallowed some coffee, now turning cold. “She’s scared out of her mind and she doesn’t trust anyone. I came to Jake for information only because I needed to find out exactly who was after her that had her so badly frightened. That’s it. He ran to you with his speculations, which doesn’t sit too well with me. I could easily put her someplace where you’ll never find her. And you know I can do it.”
“Lane Barton will fry your ass if he finds out and gets hold of you,” Dean told him.
Lane was the senior U.S. Attorney for the district and everyone’s boss in the division.
“Then I’ll have to make sure that doesn’t happen. And you might point out to him my ass isn’t his to fry anymore.”
The silence thrumming across the connection was like a living thing.
“All right.” Dean broke the stalemate. “I don’t like this, but I guess I don’t have much choice, short of storming your house. What do you suggest? What’s your offer?”
“I already told Jake I’d call him this morning. He just jumped the gun. So here’s what we’ll do. Let Jake come out here and talk to her. She’s very skittish and with good reason. Then, if we have to, we can work into a meeting with you and Lane. But Jake first. Alone.”
The heavy sigh was audible. “All right. I’m willing to cut you a break here. But only for a limited time. I’ll let Jake come out and talk to her alone. But then we’ll see.”
“Put Jake back on the phone.”
“Yo.” Jake’s voice rumbled across th
e connection.
“Dinner at seven tonight. Don’t be late. And I run the meeting.”
Quinn broke the connection and slid his cell phone into his pocket. Professionally and intellectually he knew Dean was right. Kate was the first person in a direct link with the Osunas available to them. And of course there was that flash drive, which Quinn knew belonged in the hands of the Justice Department.
Personally he wanted to keep her as far from the action as he could. Away from any situation where her presence could be compromised, even though he knew to protect her she had to tell what she knew. Had to help bring down the cartel or they’d never stop hunting her. He’d told her he’d keep her safe and he didn’t want to break that promise.
Damn, damn, damn.
****
When Kate opened her eyes the next morning she was pleasantly sore and well satisfied. Even though a fresh challenge awaited her, she felt stronger, more able to face it. Because of Quinn.
She smiled to herself. Time was now divided into two segments: Before Quinn and After Quinn. She’d lived a lifetime with him in a very small amount of time.
The nights were incredible. Making slow delicious love followed by blissful sleep, surrounded by Quinn’s body, safe in his arms.
Yawning, she stretched and pushed out of bed. Finding Quinn’s shirt on the chair next to the bed, she held it to her face for a moment, inhaling the now familiar scent that was purely Quinn, a woodsy male scent that sent warmth flooding through her.
Then reality slapped her, and she remembered that this morning he’d be calling Jake again, and neither of them knew what would happen after that. With a weighted sigh she slipped the shirt on and went in search of the man himself.
The kitchen was empty when she walked into it, but the aroma of fresh coffee teased at her nostrils. Through the tall windows she could see Quinn on the porch, pacing, cell phone glued to his ear.
She hoped he was right, that his friend could help her find a way for this all to be over. Then maybe her life could get back to something approaching normal.
Normal. That was a laugh. She wasn’t even sure she knew what normal was anymore. She was just reaching for a mug when Quinn let himself back in, a grim look on his face. Her stomach lurched.
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