A is for Alpha

by Kate Aster

  As I return, I catch Ryan talking to Logan. “The papers should be signed this week,” he says gravely. “So I’ll tell her next weekend.”

  Logan nods stoically while Dylan gives Ryan a swift thump on the shoulder.

  “That’s good. It’ll be hard. But it’s good.”

  Ryan is nodding, but looking unconvinced. “Logan, can I have Maeve’s number? I was thinking I’d do something to Hannah’s room. Really make it special—like a fairy castle theme to sort of soften the blow.”

  “Good idea, Ryan. She’ll do right by you. And can probably do it all by remote.” Logan pulls out his phone. “I’m texting you her contact info.” He sees me approach, and slides his hand lightly along my arm as I return to my seat next to him.

  Dylan flashes a smile. “Logan, how the hell did you get so lucky? You know there are only about twelve single women in Newton’s Creek, don’t you?”

  And just like that, the mood in the room brightens.

  ***

  “They adored you,” Logan says as he joins me in his truck. He touches my hand lightly and my skin sizzles with awareness. I can’t wait to be alone with him.

  “Do you really think so?”

  “I know so.”

  I bite my lower lip. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Shoot.”

  “What was Ryan talking about after Hannah fell asleep? Something about needing a designer for her room. Softening the blow of something?”

  Logan nods slowly. “Hannah’s mom is remarrying. She decided she doesn’t want Hannah to live with them.”

  “Why not?”

  “Tired of her, she says. Hannah is a bit of a handful. Adriana says she’s tired of the complaints from the school. Teacher meetings. Doctor visits.”

  “What a bitch,” I fire off without hesitation, and then cringe at my tone. “I mean, sorry—I don’t mean to be judgmental. But she doesn’t really sound like a prize of a mom.”

  “She’s not. She says she wants to have more kids with this new guy. Start fresh.”

  “Holy crap.”

  “No kidding. Personally, I’m happy that Hannah is moving in permanently with Ryan, but it’ll be hard on her, settling in. And the kid has enough self esteem problems without her mom making her feel unwelcome. But in the long run, I think it will be for the best. Ryan’s scared shitless about it, though. He works killer hours, you know. Has to travel a lot to job sites in different states. Not sure how he’ll juggle being a CEO and a full-time dad.”

  “If he needs help, I’m around a lot since I work from home.”

  He takes my hand and gives me a squeeze. “Thanks. That will mean a lot to him.”

  Frowning, I bite my lip again, working up the nerve. “Can I ask you something else?”

  “’Course.”

  “The designer you mentioned. She’s the one that decorated your place, too, right?”

  “Yeah. Maeve.”

  “So she’s a friend?”

  “Good friend. You’d like her.”

  I’m not so sure.

  “Why not?”

  Oh, shit. I said that aloud?

  “I mean… oh, I don’t know what I mean.” I sigh in defeat. I’m so insecure.

  He glances over at me. “Wait a sec? Are you jealous?”

  Caught. “I’m just—ugh. How do I say this? I saw a text come in from her on your phone. I didn’t read it, of course. Just saw the first line or two, you know, because it pops up. Something about having a crab cake dinner with your name on it.”

  He laughs. Hard. So hard that the shame I’m feeling at my jealousy is getting edged out by annoyance. “Hey. I can be as jealous as the next girl. And I saw her little photo pop up by the text. She’s freaking gorgeous. How am I supposed to feel?”

  He’s still laughing. At a stoplight, he pulls his phone out of his pocket. “Pull up the texts from Maeve.”

  “I’m not going to snoop in your phone.”

  “Do it.”

  I roll my eyes. I’m humiliated enough. He doesn’t need to make me feel worse. I tap on the texting icon and see her photo in contacts. Her model-like features have my stomach churning as I tap on her face and pull up a recent conversation.

  “Scroll up a little bit.”

  I do as he says, and see another photo that she sent him.

  “Open that one.”

  I do it and—holy crap, who is that hot guy with her? They look like some kind of Hollywood couple. Her, with her perfect hair and features, and eyes that could stop traffic. And him, with his pecs poking out of his t-shirt as he rows a tandem kayak. No, they don’t look like a Hollywood couple. They look like what a Hollywood couple wishes they looked like.

  “Who’s he?” I ask, still staring at the phone.

  “Her husband. Love of her life. Man she was destined to marry since birth, I’m thinking. And also a fellow Sailor. We served at the Naval Academy together.”

  “Oh. I feel like an idiot.”

  “Don’t. I’m actually kind of touched that you’d get jealous like that. It means you don’t want me to date other women, which by the way, I have no inclination to do.”

  My heart goes pit-a-pat. Either that, or I’ve developed a heart murmur.

  “Me neither,” I quickly tell him.

  “Good. You’d actually like Maeve. She’s one of those people that everyone loves. She doesn’t have friends. Everyone is family to her, you know? She’s been harassing me about a wedding invitation.”

  “Who’s getting married?”

  “Her friend Bess. I met her a couple times. She’s a sweet kid. Quiet. Engaged to an Army guy. I think she has a little girl.”

  “His kid?”

  “I didn’t get that impression. Anyway, she doesn’t have a ton of family so Maeve’s gotten pretty desperate to fill up the bride’s side of the church, if you know what I mean.”

  “Oh, you should go then. That can be really hard. She needs support.”

  “You sound like Maeve. But really, I barely know Bess, and truth be known, I hate weddings. I RSVPed with a no ages ago, but Maeve’s pretty insistent.” He pauses. “Then again, it might be fun if I could tempt you into going with me.”

  I sputter. “Oh, I can’t do that.”

  “Come on. I’d love to show you Annapolis.”

  “I can’t leave my dogs.”

  “Cass will take care of them again. You can’t tell me she wouldn’t love to.”

  He’s right about that. She’s been begging for more opportunities to get away from her apartment.

  “It’s not for another week,” he continues. “So check your calendar, and talk to Nancy. If Nancy can’t give you a day off, I could get us a Friday night flight and have you home late Sunday.”

  “I have an adoption event on Saturday.”

  “And you have volunteers who could handle it for you.”

  “I probably have a party scheduled Friday night.”

  He raises his eyebrows. “And one of your friends could take over it, I’ll bet. Didn’t you say Kim is trying to earn more money? Come on, you’d love Annapolis.”

  I probably would love it. I’d love anyplace if I went with him. “Okay. I’ll go,” I tell him, releasing a swarm of butterflies in my stomach.

  Satisfied, he smiles. “So how did you like my crazy family?”

  “Loved them,” I reply without hesitation. Being around the Sheridans makes me long for my own family dinners before my dad died.

  I really should visit my mom more often—to build up some new family memories, I guess. She’s only a few hours away.

  But she’s not at home. Not my home. I walk up to her house now and see a place she bought with her new husband, not my dad. I have no memories there. They fixed up a guest room so that I can visit, but it’s not my room, not where I drew misshapen unicorns on the walls with a permanent marker when I was six and had to stare at them for the remainder of my childhood long after I outgrew my unicorn stage. The doorways there don’t have the tiny etc
hed marks where my dad tracked my height. The rooms don’t look out onto the maple tree that we planted as a sapling before I was even old enough to talk.

  The house they bought is nice. But it’s not home to me in the least.

  “Are you okay?” Logan asks as he looks over at me at a stoplight. “You seem a world away.”

  “I’m fine. Sorry. I just got to missing my mom.”

  “Why don’t you go for a visit? I can take care of your dogs.”

  He makes it too easy for me, and that’s what I don’t need right now. “I should. I know. It’s just hard.”

  “Because your dad’s not there.”

  I shake my head. “No, actually. It’s more because some other guy is taking his place.”

  “He’s not taking his place, Allie. No one will ever replace your father. Not to you. Not to your mother.”

  I shrug. “I’m not so sure. She seems pretty happy.”

  “And that makes you angry.”

  “No,” I deny. I’m not that childish. Am I? “It just makes me… frustrated. Frustrated that she moved on so quickly. Did she even mourn him?”

  “I’m sure she did. She was married to him for how long?”

  “Almost twenty-five years.”

  “Twenty-five years,” he repeats. “That’s a long time to wake up with someone in the same bed, Allie. That’s a long time to have someone to eat dinner with every night. With you gone, I can understand why her heart needed to find someone else.”

  I never thought about it that way. I always thought that by replacing Dad, she was showing that she didn’t love him as much as I did. But maybe she loved him so much she needed someone to fill the void.

  “You think?” I feel small for even thinking these thoughts.

  “I’m sure.”

  I press my lips together in thought. I will call my mom tomorrow, if for any other reason, to tell her about the wonderful man in my life. I know she’d want to know. And I want her to know.

  Chapter 18

  - LOGAN -

  Allie’s bed must have been bought on clearance at the torture store. I’ve never felt a bumpier mattress. When I last made love to her I found myself distracted—yes, actually distracted by one spring that kept jutting into my knee and one into my side.

  I put it on my mental register of things I’d like to get her. There are so many. It’s not that I’m a snob. When I was her age, living on a Lieutenant JG’s salary, I was sleeping on a foam futon in my quarters at Coronado.

  But I don’t want Allie to go through years like that. She’s already been through enough, burying her father so suddenly and getting dumped by an asshole boyfriend right after. I want to trap that guy in a headlock and just squeeze.

  She’s dozed off on the bed beside me and I watch her eyelids flutter as though she’s in the middle of a dream. Stretching my hand out toward the nightstand, I reach for my watch. I have to go next door and give Kosmo his pain meds in a little bit, but I’m having a hard time pulling myself away from Allie, even if I do feel like I’m lying on a bed of rubble.

  And I’ve laid in plenty of piles of rubble, so I’d know. In the field, you grab sleep when you can, where you can.

  Her eyes open and she gazes at me with a smile. I think about what I told her in the car the other night—how her mom probably just couldn’t take the void in her life left by her husband’s sudden death. And I realize just how big of a void I’d have in my life if Allie decided to leave me. We haven’t been together that long. But already I feel like my soul has been completely fused with hers.

  And I didn’t even think I had a soul till I met her.

  “I fell asleep,” she mumbles.

  “You did,” I answer. “I wore you out.” I smile as I say it, remembering how amazing it felt to be joined with her. My cock perks up at the thought, ready for seconds. Or thirds, as the case may be today.

  “What time is it?”

  “Nearly five.” I worry I’m pulling her away from her work too much. My hours are my own. But it’s not like Allie has that luxury.

  “Gotta wake up,” she groans, stretching out her lithe body and making me hard as a rock in the process. “I’ve got a party at seven.”

  “A party,” I repeat, wishing selfishly she’d cut back on work. I hate the idea of her out late driving when she’s tired. “Can’t skip it, I suppose?”

  “Nope. We got a new vibrator in this week. Always fun showing off the new products.”

  A broad smile sweeps across my face. I’d love to be a fly on the wall at one of those parties. “And how exactly do you show them off. Drop your panties?”

  Her jaw drops. “You seriously don’t think that, do you?”

  I laugh heartily. “Of course not. Though I have noticed you wearing a skirt to these all the time. Who knows if you’re wearing anything under it?”

  Stroking her hand down my chest, she grins. “Want to hear my sales pitch?”

  I’m tempted. “Actually, I’d rather see the product line.”

  Her eyes narrow at the challenge. “I’ll go get my samples. But there are limits to what we can do with them.”

  I grab her hand, not anxious for her to leave. “Then where’s the fun in that?”

  She lowers her body on top of mine. “I have one of my own, if you’re curious.”

  I raise my head up slightly, glancing over at the nightstand drawer she’s eyeing. “You bet I am. I have to see the competition.”

  She grins, reaching over and pulling out a vibrator. “It’s their basic model. None of the bells and whistles.” She flicks it on and touches it to my neck raising her eyebrows. “But it gets the job done in a pinch.”

  I look at it. “I’m bigger,” I tell her.

  “No kidding. I haven’t exactly had occasion to use it since you came along, and I’m not sure how I’ll go back to it.”

  I don’t like the sound of that, as if I might not be in the picture one day. “I’ll just have to stick around then, won’t I?” I flip her over onto her back. “Want me to use it on you?”

  “I think I’d rather just have you,” she says, reaching for the vibrator.

  “Still,” I consider, pulling it away from her, “we could get creative with it.” I lower myself onto her belly. Grabbing a pillow, I lift her rear to slide it under her so that I can get a good view of the soft, pink flesh I love to sink into. “This will be a first for me, Allie. You know how I feel about using technology as a crutch.”

  “With a body like yours, I can’t imagine you’d need to,” she whimpers as I tongue her clit, making her folds moisten and swell. I flick the vibrator back on and have to suppress a laugh at the weak hum of the motor. Basic model, indeed.

  I slide it inside of her, watching her body open up to the invasion. I lick her again, feeling the vibration against my tongue as I move it in and out of her. The sight of her taking something inside of her that isn’t me somehow has me bristling inside, as I gaze up at her puckered nipples and watch her breathing quicken from the sensation.

  So long as she’s enjoying herself, I guess.

  I move my mouth over her, unable to reach all the places I want to explore because of the damn vibrator. I can’t taste her like I usually can, and my mouth aches to feel her fluids flowing over my tongue. She lifts her hands to the top of the bed, and I’m wishing she had a headboard she could grip right now. The sight would just about bring me to my knees.

  Except that I’m already on my knees.

  Sliding it in and out, I watch her pelvis rise up. I fight back the ridiculous jealousy I’m feeling for the chunk of cheap machinery, when I suddenly start to hear the hum of the motor get quieter and quieter, till it stops dead.

  Her eyes widen. “What happened?’

  I laugh uproariously as I flick the power button off and on and off again. “Batteries are dead. So, do you need my services, after all?” I ask, already reaching for my jeans on the floor to search my pockets for a condom.

  A small whimper of frustra
tion escapes her. “I do.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. I was a little insulted at the sight of me being so easily replaced.”

  “Never.”

  “Tell me you didn’t love it with it as much as you do with me.” I raise my eyebrows teasingly as I slip on my condom.

  “It meant nothing to me,” she says, playing along.

  I hover my cock above her open legs. “Beg me for it.”

  “Please,” she murmurs.

  “I’m not convinced.”

  “I need you,” she whimpers, her body writhing beneath me, anxious to complete the climb to ecstasy that was stopped short by mechanical failure.

  “To what?” I ask, my hand toying with the moist slit that beckons for my entry.

  “Fuck me, dammit!” Her eyes flare, as she says it between her teeth.

  I cock my head. “If you insist.” Sliding into her, I feel her come undone immediately, throbbing against my length and giving me a better massage than modern technology ever could.

  Chapter 19

  ~ ALLIE ~

  I have exactly one dress in my wardrobe that is suitable for a wedding and Kim and Cass are staring at me in it right now, shaking their heads.

  “Looks frumpy,” Cass says bluntly as her eyes drift over the scooped neckline that leads to three-quarter length sleeves. At least it’s red. That has to count for something.

  “You’re a little harsh,” I comment.

  “It’s not really frumpy,” Kim consoles me. “Just more like something you’d wear to a business dinner or something.”

  “I wish you could borrow something of mine,” Cass pouts. I know she means well by the statement, but I don’t want to be reminded that I don’t have her willowy, statuesque frame. “Do you have anything for her?” she asks Kim, who is a little more my size.

  “I’m a mom. What do you think?” Her expression is pretty hopeless as she gazes at me. “I’ve got a dress that I wore to the pre-K spring fundraiser last year, but your dress shows more skin than that one, believe me.”