66th Verse
Why is the sea king of a hundred streams?
Because it lies below them.
Humility gives it its power.
Therefore, those desiring a position
above others must speak humbly.
Those desiring to lead must follow.
Thus it is that when a sage stands above the people, they do not feel the heaviness of his weight;
and when he stands in front of the people,
they do not feel hurt.
The sage stays low
so the world never tires of exalting him.
He remains a servant
so the world never tires of making him its king.
Living by
Emulating the Sea
Unlike the perception of God as an old white man Who created a universe where your behavior may cause you to be sentenced to damnation for eternity, the Tao is perceived as a natural energy. The Source of life isn’t seen as a deity monitoring earthlings like a king or dictator, since it doesn’t dole out punishments or withhold rewards. Lao-tzu taught that the Tao only asks you to live in harmony with nature.
For Lao-tzu, nature’s great symbol is water, and he refers to it in many of the 81 passages. When you emulate that element, you’ll begin to see that judgment and exclusion have no place in the Tao. Be like the sea, advises Lao-tzu, and the world will never tire of exalting you. The essential message presented in this verse and in many others of the Tao Te Ching is that the ocean is king of all because it knows to stay low. All streams must ultimately flow to the sea, and in the process, it becomes a servant to all. The teachings here are clear: Be humble. Never put yourself above others or see yourself as superior to anyone. The highest power is a yielding valley. Become a servant, not a dominator.
When even the tiniest waterways are left alone, they uniquely carve out a path that leads them to the sea. And the great ocean never lords its greatness and power over the rivers and streams: It doesn’t rise above them and demand devotion, nor does it threaten them with punishment or extinction if they refuse to cooperate. The sea knows instinctively that the streams and rivers will naturally gravitate toward that which stays low.
Using this metaphor throughout the Tao Te Ching, Lao-tzu reminds you that people also tend to be instinctively drawn to those with intrinsic majesty that emerges from humility and staying low. And this position isn’t uniquely held by the great master. Peter, a servant and apostle of Jesus Christ, offers an almost identical message in the New Testament, centuries after the death of Lao-tzu:
Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, serving as overseers—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock (1 Pet. 5:2–3).
Change the way you think about yourself and others as model leaders by looking to the massive life-giving sea, who’s patient, accepting, and lower than the streams that flow to it. Then imitate that water power yourself by suspending your ego and releasing the need to lord anything over anyone. The people you’re entrusted to lead will gravitate to you and the watercourse way of the Tao’s natural flow.
You’re advised to learn from the way water behaves and imitate it as much as possible in your life. Here are ways to apply the wisdom of emulating the sea in your life today:
Never assume that you know what’s best.
Even if you’re older, wiser, and richer than others and have more influence and power than they do, never assume that you know what’s best for anyone. Instead, imagine yourself as the great ocean that allows and encourages the smaller streams to come to you. Stay low, speak softly, and remain humble—and let others be in control of their lives as much as is humanly possible. By seeing yourself as the all-receiving sea, you remove your ego from the picture and thus become like one of the leaders referred to in this verse of the Tao Te Ching. No one should feel the heaviness of your directions or be hurt by your instructions.
A situation that allowed me to implement this advice occurred on the day I wrote this essay. I live on Maui, and my 90-year-old mother is in Florida, where my daughter Saje also resides. My mother was experiencing a stomachache and nausea from some strong medication she’d taken, so I phoned my daughter to see if she had any suggestions for getting some yogurt to her. Saje’s immediate response was, “We have some yogurt right here—I’ll take it over to Grandma’s.” Rather than giving her an order and instructing her to tend to her grandmother, I allowed my daughter to be of service while I stayed in the lowest possible place.
Remain a servant.
See yourself as someone who’s on this planet to assist others. Look for opportunities to be of aid, particularly to those who need your leadership. Remember that the great sea serves everyone by being a life-supporting receiver of all who wish to partake of her bounty, so practice emulating her by expressing the Tao.
Do the Tao Now
Dedicate a day to leading by serving, as opposed to giving orders. Find occasions to stifle your learned habit of interfering and telling others what to do, and allow them to flow to you instead. Commit to this principle further by encouraging someone to make the decision rather than following your orders.
67th Verse
All the world talks about my Tao
with such familiarity—
what folly!
The Tao is not something found at the marketplace
or passed on from father to son.
It is not something gained by knowing
or lost by forgetting.
If the Tao were like this,
it would have been lost and forgotten long ago.
I have three treasures, which I hold fast
and watch closely.
The first is mercy.
The second is frugality.
The third is humility.
From mercy comes courage.
From frugality comes generosity.
From humility comes leadership.
Now if one were bold but had no mercy,
if one were broad but were not frugal,
if one went ahead without humility,
one would die.
Love vanquishes all attackers,
it is impregnable in defense.
When heaven wants to protect someone,
does it send an army?
No, it protects him with love.
Living by the
Three Treasures
You’re being invited to change your life by seeing it through the prism of this ancient verse of the Tao Te Ching, which instructs you on the three things you need for a Tao-styled life of success:
— Mercy is the name used here for the first treasure, but additional terms such as compassion, good-heartedness, love, kindness, and charity have been employed in other translations. You’ve very likely been weaned on a model of achievement that’s measured by accumulation, accomplishment, and the acquisition of power and influence over others. Successful people are usually considered to be narrowly focused on their own goals, oblivious to anything but getting to the top, and ruthless in preventing anyone else from getting what they’re after.
Lao-tzu, however, says that the first and most important treasure is what true courage stems from, not from a heartless and callous attitude. He even tells you that boldness without mercy is a prescription for death! So you’re encouraged to think of others first by being willing to serve and exhibit kindness and love, even toward your enemies, instead of seeking external indicators to prove that you’re successful.
Shakespeare speaks of the first treasure in The Merchant of Venice:
The quality of mercy is not strain’d,
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven . . .
But mercy is above this sceptered sway,
It is enthroned in the hearts of kings . . .
The great playwright then reminds us with his next lines why Lao-tzu made mercy the top priority
of the three treasures:
It is an attribute to God himself;
And earthly power doth then show likest God’s
When mercy seasons justice.
Mercy, compassion, and kindness are all attributes of God and the Tao. Lao-tzu saw this truth many centuries before Shakespeare did.
— The second treasure is frugality, or what was referred to in other translations as economy, moderation, thrift, or simplicity. Now frugality and moderation don’t generally spring to mind when those at the pinnacle of achievement are described; however, according to Lao-tzu, being satisfied with less rather than more results in great generosity. So be willing to take only what you need, and don’t accumulate or hoard. The less attached you are to your stuff, the easier it is to be generous; the more you cling to it, the more you feel you need, and the less concerned you are with the welfare of others.
— The third treasure necessary for a successful life is humility, which other translations refer to as “not presuming to be above nature,” “daring not to be ahead of others,” and “not always trying to be number one.” From this quality, Lao-tzu reminds us, comes true leadership that radiates Tao energy.
Often our perception of strength, power, and triumph is influenced by the yang masculine qualities of arrogance, loftiness, and self-importance. So when you change the way you think about enlightened leadership, you can discover what genuinely successful 67th Verse people have learned before you—that is, that we’re all instruments for Tao or God or whatever you call the energy that writes the books, delivers the speeches, makes the lifesaving discoveries, and so on. Humility is akin to surrendering to a force greater than your ego, giving credit to that Source, and being grateful for any wisdom and influence that’s given to you by that power. Be humble; stay low; and be a generous, grateful leader.
Here are some ways to apply these three treasures to your daily life:
Live in harmony with the myriad manifestations of the Tao.
The key to living in harmony is compassion and mercy. You’re not in competition with anyone, so don’t feel as if you must defeat another person or compare yourself on any level. Extend mercy and compassion toward every form of life, including yourself! When you radiate love and respect for all, you’ll be aligned with the Tao, which will protect you as if you were a baby in the arms of a loving mother.
See the hidden strengths of simplicity and humility in those whom you may have previously judged to be weak or ineffective leaders.
Those who practice frugality and refuse to hoard or engage in conspicuous consumption deserve to be viewed as strong examples of how to guide others—whereas those who speak and act forcefully while stockpiling more and more goods are not in harmony with the Tao. Moreover, such individuals’ actions tend to contribute to more dissension, and as Lao-tzu reminds us here, those who go ahead with boldness and without deference will die (and, I hasten to add, will lead others to their deaths as well). As you notice examples of simplicity and humility in those who are in positions to lead, make every effort to emulate the same qualities in your own daily interactions.
Do the Tao Now
Choose a conversation in which you can practice the three treasures by using an economy of words. While attempting to make a point in conversation, for instance, stop yourself after a moment or so and use your talking time to listen. You’ll be employing all three of Lao-tzu’s treasures at one time: You’ll have mercy for the person with whom you’re conversing by being frugal with your words and humbly refusing to be ahead of or above your conversational partner.
68th Verse
A good soldier is not violent.
A good fighter is not angry.
Good winners do not contend.
Good employers serve their workers.
The best leader follows the will of the people.
All of them embody the virtue of noncompetition.
This is called the virtue of noncontending.
This is called employing the powers of others.
This since ancient times has been known
as the ultimate unity with heaven.
Living by
Cooperating
This verse of the Tao Te Ching asks you to reconsider what you think you have to do to be a winner. In the Western world, getting ahead most often implies having to be in a state of contention and competition—basically, you must defeat the other guy by getting what you want before he does. Lao-tzu asks you to change this kind of thinking by embodying “the virtue of noncompetition,” which can work for you even in a society where conquering and being number one are so highly valued.
The Tao Te Ching teaches that all of the 10,000 things emerge from the same state of nonbeing. Here there’s only oneness, which implies complete collaboration, not competition. Who can there be to defeat if you see yourself in everyone? You’d be picking a fight with yourself! Lao-tzu asks that you follow his advice and choose to live by cooperating.
Believe it or not, this can actually work to your advantage in athletic competitions. Rather than thinking of an opponent as the enemy and employing anger and mental and physical violence, remind yourself of Lao-tzu’s words in the opening of this verse: “A good soldier is not violent. A good fighter is not angry. Good winners do not contend.” Instead, such individuals view their opponents as a part of themselves and as crucial members of this dance of life. So rather than being angry and hateful toward opponents in a tennis match or football game, see them as a part of you that’s working to help you achieve excellence. Without them, you couldn’t improve, get a good workout, or become victorious.
Do as Lao-tzu advises and “[employ] the powers of others” to elevate yourself to the status of winner. That is, cooperate with your opponents by wanting them to play at a high level—the best they’re capable of. Shift your focus from being upset or self-reproaching to the task at hand. See the ball, move the ball, or remain upright and balanced in a martial-arts contest. When anger isn’t a component, your game will go to a new level. And this is true off the athletic field as well: What you fight weakens you; what you cooperate with strengthens you. So change your thinking about competing to cooperating in all areas of your life, including your work.
I practice this concept by thinking of every person whose purpose is to help improve the quality of life on our planet as being my partner, on my “team.” I cannot conceive of anyone out there whom I’m in competition with for any external prize. If they sell more books than I do, I applaud their good fortune; in fact, I’ll tell as many people as I can to buy their products. If they make more money, get more publicity, or reach more people, I celebrate by thinking, My teammate has helped me with my mission.
When I play a close tennis match, I silently send love and encouragement to my opponent. When I’m less stressed, less angry, and less violent in my thinking, I’m living in the moment that Lao-tzu calls “the ultimate unity with heaven.” My level of excellence soars, regardless of the outcome on the scoreboard.
This is what Lao-tzu recommends to you from his 2,500-year-old perspective:
Declare that you’re not going to fight.
Don’t fight colds, illnesses, or even serious afflictions. Don’t fight with family members, or against political opinions. Don’t fight addictions, and most important, don’t fight yourself. Instead, make the shift to living by cooperating. If you have cancer or arthritis cells in your body, talk to them from that perspective: “If you insist on living in my body, I wish to live in harmony, peace, and total health with you; otherwise, I invite you to take up residence elsewhere.” This may sound strange, but it puts you back in harmony with the Tao, which isn’t violent, hateful, or angry.
Also, when it comes to your children and other family members, see yourself as their ally, daily practicing the “virtue of non-contending.”
Practice seeing yourself in everyone else.
If someone you love is hurting, you experience their pain. Therefore, whenever you say or do something that�
��s harmful to someone you love, you’re doing something to harm yourself. Extend this awareness to all of humanity—after all, you share the same origination spirit or Tao with every living being in the universe. When you see your own spirit in a cooperative embrace with all others, you’ll know what Lao-tzu means by “the ultimate unity with heaven.”
Here are some marvelous words from Pablo Casals that express this thought:
When will we [teach our children] what they are?
We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are?
You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your cunning fingers, the way you move.
You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything. Yes, you are a marvel. And when you grow up, can you then harm another who is, like you, a marvel?
Do the Tao Now
Affirm that you’ll think of your opponent as an extension of yourself in your next competitive encounter. Vow to mentally send that person love, surround him or her in light, and pray that he or she will perform at the highest level. Then note how your own performance improves and carries you to a new level of excellence.
Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life Page 25